Raw
by Moral Pass
Summary: SQ AU; With only fifteen years under her belt, Emma Swan has enough hardships to bring anyone to their edge. When she finally escapes the horrors of her foster home, fate brings her home to her real family, they soon realize how broken she is. Emma is sent to a counselor to recover. Regina, her counselor is also a BDSM enthusiast with a surprising secret beneath all that leather.
1. Chapter 1

**I decided to post this first chapter to see if it would catch interest, if so I'll post the remainder and continue it. Enjoy and review!**

 ***Triggers for child abuse, spousal abuse, lewd acts***

 _Free._

The only words that swan though her brain as she sprinted down the deserted road, fueled by pure adrenaline as it was literally all she had to offer her malnurtured body. Over the span of four years she'd only been fed enough to keep her barely alive, and her jutting skeletal points were all the proof she needed to show she was starving, and the almost permanent ache that came with any hunger.

It was night, and the rain from the evening had nestled itself into the cold cracks of asphalt, leaving it slick, so she shouldn't have been surprised when fifteen minutes into her escape, she slipped and fell forward. Her reflexes were off, so she hit the pavement face first, crying out as she saw sparks. Luckily, the only superficial injury she'd sustained was a split lips, her bony finger reached up to touch the tender area, only to be yanked away at the contact.

Emma composed herself and walked ahead, moving to the tree line where she would be provided good cover, just in case those bastards came looking for her. Her fists balled when she thought of having to go back to that place. No, now that she had a taste of freedom, a glimmer of hope, she couldn't do it again going back would be the end of her.

The night grew cold as she walked, it couldn't be later than 11 or 12 and the thought of having to survive in the cold October night with only a ratty t-shirt and equally worn out jeans, didn't sound too favorable. She supposed that it was better than the alternative and trekked on, hoping she'd reach town soon. Emma thought of where to go once she arrived, the police station? That didn't sound too welcoming but it was the only option, no stranger would help her, even if they did, would she want it?

Emma had always been weary of people, not without justification either, no one had ever treated her with dignity or compassion so she didn't know how to act as such. She knew it was fucked up, but it was a damned world out there for people like her who hadn't been given a second chance. All her life she was rejected, tossed away when she wasn't of use to anyone, and it had taken it's toll, she knew she was broken beyond repair.

Fifteen, almost sixteen years on Earth had felt like two lifetimes, she only wished for death, not even allowed the solace it would bring. Emma had her pride, so she never prayed to a God when things took a turn for the worse, she would live as her own unit and die the same. Pessimistic she may sound, but she felt rightful to be as there was not much for her to be optimistic about as of late.

Emma rubbed up and down her arms, masked by gooseflesh, in hope that the friction would bring some illusion of warmth. Only when she saw the city lights did she think of those she left behind, the other children, the ones who relied on her for protection and comfort. Emma looked to the blue star they had deemed their charm.

"I'm keeping my promise." Emma muttered, though they couldn't hear her, the words were more for her than them. The sound of her voice was alien, she teared up slightly.

The sign reading 'Greeting from Philadelphia' shown in the distance, and Emma ran to it, civilization bringing her more comfort than she could have ever imagined.

The road traveling into town was dead, as it lead to nothing but farmland and open woods. Suburbs were nearest, and the replicated houses on either side of the road made her feel so small, she wasn't sure how she was going to act when she would have to actually talk to a human being.

"Cross that bridge when you get to it, Em." She told herself, coming to a stop in front of a schoolhouse. She made her way over to the building, light fluttered out from one of the downstairs windows, she quickly and quietly made way over to it. Peering in, she could see a figure pouring over a stack of paper, looking entirely stressed the woman had a pixie haircut and looked like the picture of innocence. Emma decided that with this woman, she could cross the bridge, she had a good sense that she would be kind.

Emma knocked on the window three times sharply, the woman jolted up to a standpoint and turned to where the sound originated.

"Hello?" Came her voice, muffled by the glass. Emma knocked again, in a pattern this time, she wasn't sure she could project her voice loud enough to reach the ears of this woman.

Sure enough, she walked to the window, pulled the shades up and revealed Emma, who knew she looked like hell. The teacher gasped and opened the window in one swift move.

"Are you okay? What are you doing out there, it's freezing!" She looked so concerned, Emma had never been looked at in such a way, she found herself in a pool of tears before she could even think twice. "Oh, dear, hold on." The woman said and ran out of the room, only to arrive by Emma's side in moments, she pulled her close and led her back into the building constructed of brick.

They were soon in the classroom Emma had found her in, sitting on a small couch in the far corner under a set of windows. The woman sat Emma down before moving to make her something to drink, she could tell the girl was in desperate need of some TLC. Handing her a steaming mug of cocoa, she sat with her legs crossed beside the sobbing blonde, rubbing comforting circles into her back, she almost jerked away when she felt her spine, but didn't.

"I'm Mary Margret." She said simply. "Do you want to tell me your name?" Mary Margret asked.

Emma inhaled and exhaled shakily, once, twice, before she could muster up a sentence that would be coherent. "Emma." She sniffed. "Swan, if we're being cordial." It felt nice to talk, she realized.

"Emma." Mary Margret smiled. "What were you doing outside so late, you'll catch your death?"

"Running." Emma shrugged. "Death seemed welcoming at the time, still does in all honesty."

Mary Margret's heart went out to the teen, she was shocked someone so young could be so wishful for death, then again, this girl looked like she'd been through a storm of sorrow. The pain was etched into her features, she could be beautiful if she'd only smile.

"Can you tell me who you were running from?" She asked.

"My-" Emma choked. "My foster parent's."

"Did they hurt you?" Mary Margret asked, she knew the answer before the girl had even begun to cry once more, allowing the teacher to pull her into an embrace. Emma was shocked at herself, she never liked being touched and would wiggle out of any contact whenever possible, but she couldn't bring herself to do so, she felt safe in that moment.

"Please help them," Emma croaked. "The other kids, they can still make it, please." Emma cried. "There still have hope, they can make it." Her words were confused and jumbled, she couldn't stop them from coming out that way.

"Okay, okay." Mary Margret soothed. "Hey, don't worry, everything will be okay, Emma, I promise."

Emma grew solemn, she'd heard those words before, four years ago. "You shouldn't promise me anything." She whispered, knowing the woman couldn't hear her.

"I need to call the police, they can help the other kids, and they can help you, too." Mary Margret stood before Emma could object, she didn't want to deal with the police. "David? Hey, no I'm fine still in class. No, I need you to come over here as soon as possible, there's a young girl here and she," The teacher glanced back at Emma before turning again, she twirled the cord between slender fingers. "Just get to the school. Yes now, David!" She hung up and rolled her eyes. "My husband." She explained. "I love him but he's so dense sometimes." She chuckled in a dry attempt to lighten the mood.

Emma smiled weakly, but wasn't feeling much like joking as she took another long drink of the cocoa, finishing it off. "Thank you." She said, placing the mug on the small oak table that sat beside the sofa.

"Of course," She smiled. "How old are you?"

"How old are _you?_ " Emma countered, the woman looked taken back, and Emma let her features soften. "I'm sorry, it's a defense. I'm fifteen, sixteen pretty soon."

"That's a good age." Mary Margret replied.

"I wish I could agree with you." Emma breathed, not taking her eyes off of her hands where she tweaked them in her lap.

Mary Margret smiled sadly, squeezing the girl's knee lightly just as David breezed into the room, Emma stiffed visibly as he did. "It's okay, this is my husband." She stood, and linked arms with the man to introduce him to her. "David, this is Emma, Emma, David."

"Hi Emma, wanna tell me what's up?" He asked, pulling a chair over to sit in front of her. He leaned on the back of the chair, sitting on it backwards. Emma shook her head, the couple shared a look before David went on. "Is it okay if Mary Margret tells me what you said?" He asked, she nodded. The teacher told him what she knew as Emma awkwardly stared out the window.

"Hey." She said. "You're not going to send me back, are you?"

"No, of course not, we just need to figure out why you ran in the first place. If you can tell us, we can help you, and the other kids as well."

Emma breathed in, she wasn't she she could handle a sob story right now, because it would be one no doubt. "What if they hurt them?"

"Hey, we won't let that happen, but you gotta tell us." The man urged, he had kind eyes and Emma felt she could trust him, at least a little.

Emma took a deep breath and closed her eyes, back to four years ago she took herself, when it all began. Tears were flowing even before she could begin.

 **Four years ago.**

The farmhouse was old and looked like a tornado had recently hit it. Emma stared up at the ominous building through her youthful eyes, and hoped this time would be different. A man and woman emerged from the house, they looked like a typical american family, with her in a ruffly dress and hair curled up at the ends, and he tall with a lanky build, wearing a suit and large rimmed glasses. She smiled at them, and they smiled back, something was still off.

Her social worker, Susan Neiman, a red head who was only a couple inches taller than the skinny 11 year old, stood by her side with a comforting hand pressed to the small of her back.

"Hi, Emma, I'm Miss Caroline, this is Mr Wyatt, my husband." The woman said in an oh-so cheery voice, Emma winced, no one was that happy. "Would you like to see your new home?" She asked, Emma nodded shyly, hooking herself onto Susan.

"Come on, Ems." Susan urged, walking up with Emma to the porch before turning her so they were face to face. "Okay, I'm going to go now, but you're going to love it here, these people are very nice, they're going to take care of you, okay?" Emma nodded, but a tear threatened at her rims. "Don't cry, I'll come visit you, I promise." Susan wiped away her tear, and kissed her on the forehead. She did visit, but only once.

"Come on, girl." Miss Caroline smiled and extended her hand to Emma, who took it nervously, while glancing up to her husband who continued to stare quietly with a cigarette placed between his thin pressed lips. Emma couldn't place the look in his eyes, but it didn't help her feel at ease one bit, in fact, it only made matters wore.

Miss Caroline led her upstairs to a small square of a room with white curtains that swayed as a result of the open window they decorated. A twin sized bed on an antiqued metal frame sat in the far corner, red polka dots over a white comforter was spread neatly across it, a single pillow at the head. The lady smiled down at her, she had large white teeth that were only slightly bucked.

"Do you like it?" She asked, Emma nodded slowly. "Okay, I have to start dinner, now." She said, Emma didn't let go as she moved to leave. "Put your things away, girl. And welcome home." She said, Emma let go reluctantly before she was left alone in the bare and unfamiliar room. She looked to the closet and crept over to it. Upon opening she found it to be bare aside from a ruffled lace dress, she toyed with the material, unaware to the footsteps that neared.

"You like it?" She jumped to find Mr. Wyatt leaned up against the doorway, his cigarette gone, a toothpick in it's wake. His voice was deep and had a slight southern undertone so it was just recognizable.

Emma nodded, letting the dress fall back to it's original place. "It's pretty."

"Yeah, it was our daughters, before she died." He said, Emma looked at the dress sadly, trying to place a young version of the couple within.

"I'm sorry." She said.

"It's quite alright, that's just life and death, child, nothin' to be sorry about, 'less you're the one that took a life that is." He nodded towards the dress. "Try it on." He said.

"Now?" She asked, he nodded once more. "Could you-" She urged towards the open door for some privacy.

"You ain't got nothing to hide, do ya?" He asked.

She wanted to run, she didn't like the way he was looking at her, the way he was pushing her. "It probably won't even fit, it's fine." Emma excused, hanging the dress up once more.

"I said try it on." Mr. Wyatt wouldn't budge. Emma's throat went dry and she stripped of her clothes, she hadn't been developed enough to need a bra, so she was without one and exposed to his big, wandering eyes. It took all she had not to cry, and stay strong as she changed into the frilly material. "Looks good." He winked. "Wear it to dinner, it'll be served soon." And he was gone, only then did she let out a breath she'd been withholding shakily.

Emma unpacked her things and sat on the bed, she hoped this would be as bad as it got, she hoped with all she could this would be as bad as it got.

"Dinner!" Came the voice of Miss Caroline from downstairs. Emma moved through the labyrinthine halls trying to find to find the room she did seek. After a minute or two she stumbled into the kitchen, tripping over a loose floorboard.

"Sorry." She muttered, even though she hadn't done anything. Emma took the empty seat by on the left side of the large rectangular table. The Mr and Mrs sat at either head. They ate pork chops and vegetable medley along with fried potatoes. Emma smiled at the first substantial meal she'd had in weeks.

"This is good, thank you." She smiled to the woman, avoiding all eye contact with her spouse. Emma went to take another bite out of the meat, when it fell off her fork and the juicy white meat left a meaty stain on the white lace. Before she could ever apologize or comprehend, Mr. Wyatt was grabbing her by the arm with one hand and giving her a hard slap with the other.

"How dare you! You ruined her dress, you little cunt!" He yelled, dropping her to the floor.

"Wyatt, are you insane!" Miss Caroline rushed to aid the girl. "Emma, look at me, are you alright?" Emma touched her cheek, it was sore to the touch, but she nodded in spite of it, she'd felt worse. "Okay, it's okay, I don't know what's gotten into that man." She grumbled, pulling Emma to stand and brushing off the dust she'd gathered from the floor, poking at the stain. "Nothing a little bleach can't fix." She winked, Emma smiled and let her lead her down the stair to the washing machine.

Emma disregarded the suffocating dress, happier to be out of it than she ever would have thought possible. Miss Caroline handed her an old tee and cotton shorts that were just a little too big. Emma traded these new clothes for the dress and put them on after saying 'thank you' once more.

"You don't have to thank me for everything, I'm taking care of you now." The woman smiled, Emma returned it, how was such a kind soul married to that bastard, she wondered.

"Okay," Emma turned her head down shyly, wanting to ask the question but deciding it too soon and too risky. The pair made way hand in hand up the steps and cleaned up the dinner mess together before retiring to the den, where they would watch television until Emma fell asleep sprawled on the couch over the woman's lap.

Caroline looked down at the small girl, she felt for her an knew that she wouldn't be able to handle living with her husband as he continued to abuse her, she would have to confront him about it soon, but the time wasn't right yet.

The woman got up slowly, shifting the girl's weight so she wouldn't take notice to her absence, placing a pillow under her head and a blanket over her thin little body to warm her through the night. With a goodnight, the pressed her index and middle finger to her lips then once again to the little blonde's forehead, and she headed up the stairs.

She entered the room to find Wyatt reading a book, probably something from work, she assumed and moved over to the dresser. As she changed into her gown she could feel his lubricous gaze burning holes into her back, as well as other parts. When she heard him getting off the bed, she moved over to the nightstand and tried to feign busy so she could get out of doing what she knew was coming. She went rigid as she felt his large hands envelope her, he kissed her exposed neck. Caroline squirmed, but he would not concede, she chuckled distressfully.

"I'm not really in the mood, Wyatt." She said.

"Well maybe I can get you into the mood." He murmured and tried to break the ice, but it only proved in causing her further discomfort.

"No, please, not tonight." She begged, he backed off clearly angry.

"Why, is it because of the girl?" He said, loudly. "That little girl deserved what she got! She ruined Maize's dress!" He bit.

"Only because you made her wear it!" She said in a hushed shout. "That was an accident, and the dress is clean! You can't do this again Wyatt, we need to send her back, she doesn't deserve this." Caroline hissed, unable to stop being so resolute.

"So this is my fault, is it?" He asked, and soon invaded her personal space, grabbing her by the both shoulders, he had an overall advantage over her, she felt powerless. Wyatt pushed her onto the bed, hard, and soon her was straddling her, pulling himself out of the pajamas he wore. He slapped his cock on her leg, that was all it took for it to become erect, he was easily weakened by being the powerful one.

Caroline tried not to cry as she had all the times before as he entered her, she was dry and could feel the sapless skin of her embankment ripping away as he pounded into her.

"Ah!" She cried out in agony, he only pressed harder and she was crying now, it hurt so bad, worse than ever. "Wyatt Please this isn't you." She tried to reason.

"That's where you're wrong Carry, this is all me." He said, pounding deep and hard as he said the last four words, she screamed out at the last thrust, tears flowing free as he rolled off of her.

"You're a pig." She uttered, but he'd already fallen asleep, but she lay awake hours into the night, she was praying, praying for young Emma's salvation, praying for herself to find her way away from the dark thoughts that had become less far between, and threatened to take over soon. She sniffed, she had to stay strong, at least until she could help Emma escape, she had to, she couldn't let another innocent die at this man's hand. Man, she thought, he was barely that anymore. With that final thought she fell into a restless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**I just had to, I couldn't resist, Charming family fluff is my life.**

Emma told them the worst of her times in that nether pit of a house, and the couple had been gaping with their mouths closed when she finally met their eyes. David cleared his throat, he had been speechless for the first time in his career, he couldn't say anything that would be of any consolation to this girl, and his heart ached for her.

Mary Margret grabbed her hands, always the comforting one, people warmed around her, and she them. "That's never going to be your life again, Emma, I will make sure of it, both of us will." She looked to David, he nodded. "And tomorrow, we'll have a warrant, and the other kids will be safe, too. Okay?" She soothed, Emma nodded weakly, and again allowed herself to be pulled into a tight hug, courtesy of the teacher.

As they embraced, Mary Margret and David shared a look, silently communicating that they needed to do something quickly to help the girl who was in a quite fragile state.

"Are you hungry?" David asked, Emma inhaled and wiped her eyes as Mary Margret released her.

"Yeah." She said in a shy voice.

"Me too, why don't we go grab some grub?" He stood, and extending his hand to his wife and the other to Emma, both accepted and they soon found themselves in his truck, on the way to, apparently, the best diner in Philly.

It took about ten minutes of listening to their banter before they pulled into a space aside an all-night diner labeled Granny's. The trio took a seat at a booth in the far back corner, a bright and cheery waitress popped up soon after.

"Hey guys, who's this?" She asked, her name was Ruby, Emma noticed, she was tall and looked like a model, she chewed a piece of cinnamon gum, Emma could smell it from where she sat.

"This is Emma, she's a friend of ours." David answered.

"Geez, kid, you get beat up or something?"Ruby asked, touching her lips where Emma's was spilt.

"Ruby!" Mary Margret scolded.

"What! I just wanted to know if the other guy looks worse!" She replied, Emma couldn't help but laugh, despite it all she'd kept her sense of humor, in most cases.

"No, it's okay, I actually fell, and the road looks fine, it was pretty one-sided." Emma shrugged, but she wore a smirk.

"Heh heh, I like her." Ruby nodded, she then pulled out her notepad and held it up, ready to write. "What're you having?" She asked Emma first.

"Uh, burger with the works." She answered. "Onion rings please." She looked to Mary Margret and David for approval, they smiled at her a 'yes', then ordered for themselves.

"So," Emma said, pushing her hands into her lap. "Where are you going to take me after this? Because if it's back to the orphanage, I'd rather take my chances out in the world." They both looked stunned and Emma actually regretted asking, but she felt it was needed.

"We weren't going to take you anywhere, not unless you have somewhere you have to be, or want to be." David raised his brows in question, she shook her head. "Well, excellent, then you'll be coming home with us." He smiled, and then their food was placed before them.

"Thanks." Emma smiled up at Ruby.

"It's my job," Ruby winked, Emma flustered, she hadn't a clue why.

The young blonde wanted to scarf up her food as soon as she saw it, but her open would was not allowing such insolence, so she took small bites, careful not to mix the two. Even having to eat like a fairy, she finished soon after the couple, and after bidding adieu to the spunky waitress, they were headed back in the direction of the suburbs, traveling down the same road Emma had come on, she feared they would take her back to that awful place. Her fears subsided when a right turn was made and they pulled into the drive way of a quaint two-story house that didn't look at all like the others.

Emma smiled, she loved the house, it looked like a dollhouse, all perfect and adorable, it suited the couple well. They entered, Emma wandered into the darkened foyer, a light was switched on and she was revealed a large spiral staircase to her right, and a cozy den to her left.

"You must be tired," Mary Margret began as she hung her coat over the rack.

"Yeah," Emma let out, she was actually exhausted, standing was even a chore. "Should I take the couch?" She asked.

David laughed heartily, Emma was unsure what was so funny, but let out an awkward chortle anyway. "Only if you want to, but we have a bed upstairs that you might like better."

"That'd be awesome," Emma grinned, she hadn't slept in a bed in two years, after that man had moved them into the basement for good.

"Follow me," Mary Margret said and they trailed after her up the stairs, when suddenly a cry sounded out through the house. "Oh, dear." The teacher said and increased her speed, opening up a door just right of landing

Emma stood by the stairs unsure of what to do, as David stepped into the room after her, motioning for Emma to follow, she stepped into a blue room with twinkling lighting the the shape of airplanes lining one wall, and murals painted onto all. Some of the thing's she could make out were of dragons, fairies, and other mythical, magical beings. She decided she liked this room, when she looked over to the couple, Mary Margret cradled an infant in attempts to soothe it's mutterings.

"Emma," She whispered, snapping the teen in question out of her stupor. "Come meet James." Emma smiled and moved to stand next to the woman, she stared down to the face of an infant that was all David. His features were scrunched in a bitter punch, the only notion that he'd been crying.

"He's precious, how old?" She asked.

"He's nine months." David answered as Mary Margret placed James gently back into the crib, they weaved out of the nursery and showed Emma to the room she would stay in. Opening the door revealed royal purple walls, a large bed centering with all white bedding, and white twinkling lights that dangled from the ceiling. At the far and were two more doors and a bay window, but the view of the outside was cut off by shutters that were in their shut mode.

"There's a bathroom through there, I can bring you some clothes until we get you some of your own." Mary Margret told her, Emma turned bleary eyed.

"I don't know why you guys are being so nice to me, but thank you." She said, and the couple were surprised when pulled into a group hug by the teen herself. "So much." She finished.

"It's no problem, I'll be right back with some clothes, okay?" Emma nodded and went to the bathroom where she began to strip herself of the sticky garments.

Mary Margret walked in just as Emma removed her shirt, countless lashes and brushed decorated her back, she found the same scene when the girl turned and revealed her stomach.

"Oh, Emma." The teacher said. "I'm sorry, I should have knocked." She said hurriedly and began to back away.

"No, no, it's okay, they don't even hurt anymore." Emma said, not wanting to make the woman uncomfortable, she lied and poked on the bruises, but she surprised herself when it actually did spark some discomfort. "Okay, that one, that one does, but not all."

The teacher smiled softly and handed her the clothing she'd promised. "We'll talk about this in the morning." She said, Emma nodded.

"Thanks again." Emma said shyly.

"Oh, you don't have to thank me, I'm happy to take care of you." She smiled and left the room, the door clicking softly behind her as she checked on her sons once more before joining David in there bedroom. He had a displaced look on his face, she furrowed her brows as she moved to wrap her small arms around his broad shoulders.

"What's eatin' you?" She asked, resting her chin on his shoulder. He sighed and melted into her.

"She has your chin," He said, she backed away and looked at him like he were a ghost.

"What are you talking about?" She asked, but she knew.

"Emma, she has your chin, she looks like you, what if it's-" He began, but she shook her head, tears were coming once more.

"No, no, David don't say that, you know how I feel about this." She backed away from him, but he stood, his eyes shown with the promise of tears, and wide-eyed, he grabbed her so she had no choice but to face him and listen.

"Her name is Emma, she resembles you and me, she's fifteen, don't tell me you didn't put this together already." He said, she continued to shake her head in denial.

"You don't really think," She began, he nodded, she choked up at the thought of this girl being the very one she'd given up for adoption when she was only fifteen herself. She poured into her loving husband and began to weep for the mistake she'd made years ago.

"It's okay." He said. "This is fate, fate brought her back home to us, Snow." He used her nickname for the first time since college.

"She's going to hate us, we can't tell her, David, we can't." She said, he shook his head.

"How long do you think that's going to work, Snow? You know you can't keep a secret." He said looking her dead in the eyes.

"I know, but what else are we going to do? We have to protect her, we can't let her down again." Snow tried to convince him, but to no avail.

"We don't have to do it today, or tomorrow, or even anytime soon, but we do have to tell her." He said, she nodded, he was right.

"Okay, but let's be sure first." She compromised, he looked deep into her before giving her a placid kiss on her teary lips.

"Okay, we'll be sure." David agreed, he helped his wife dress for bed before slipping in next to her himself. They slept wrapped up in each-other as they both tried to forgive themselves all over again for giving Emma up in the first place, but they found no solace and fell into equally restless spells of sleep.

Emma stood under the hot spray of the shower as she let it burn into her skin, it felt better than any explanation she could give, and she was more content in that moment than she could ever remember having been. She washed over her whole body as the scent of wild cherry filled the cubical. After washing her hair with little complaints from her lips when stray suds would travel over wound, she stepped out and into the leggings and oversized tee she'd been given. They fit well and she went to sleep in the cloud of a bed, dreaming of all the wonderful things in life as she couldn't come up with a reason to be anything but happy in that moment.

When she woke, she stretched out, loving the way her bones would crack and her muscles would ache in that oh so sweet way. Opening her eyes she was face to face with a young boy, he couldn't be any older than ten, he was staring at her like she was some kind of freak in a circus.

"Hey?" She said, he tilted his head, even more confused.

"Who're you?" He said.

"That depends, who're you?" Emma countered, he giggled, she looked at him sourly as he hopped onto the bed next to her.

"I'm Henry," He answered, she just nodded. "Your turn." He urged.

"Uh, Emma." She answered, he gasped and ran to his parents room, emerging with a knit blanket of white and purple trimming.

"This is you?" He asked, pointing out where it was stitched 'Emma' into the fabric.

"No, I mean probably not, I just got here last night." She replied.

"Oh, okay." He looked defeated. "Anyway, Mom made breakfast, she wanted to know if you were hungry." He looked around. "Are you?" Henry asked, not giving her time to answer.

"Yeah, sure, lead the way." Emma replied, he grabbed her hand and pulled her down the stairs to where the scent of bacon, eggs, and pancakes greeted them.

"Good morning," Mary Margret greeted as the two, led by Henry swept into the large and bright kitchen. She looked at Emma and gave the brightest smile she could see without thinking twice. "You look beautiful." She said.

Emma looked at her like she just exploded a hamster. "Uh, thanks." She answered, taking a seat at the empty table.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, serving them each a full plate before making James a bottle of formula, organic of course.

"Better, how about you, you look tired?" Emma returned, the woman did indeed look worn out, and her exasperated sigh was all the answer Emma needed.

"I didn't sleep to well, had a lot on my mind," Mary Margret trailed off. "Work and stuff, nothing I'd want to bother you with." The woman covered her tracks.

"I'm sorry, but it wouldn't be a bother, you have to remember that I haven't had regular conversation in quite a while." Emma drowned her hot cakes in maple syrup, Henry laughed to himself before attempting to do the same, but a glare from his mother stopped him and he only let enough spill out to cover the dish.

"I guess you're right, but who wants to talk about work?" She laughed and chewed thoughtfully on some eggs as Emma shrugged and did the same. "So what should we do today? I mean, what do you want to do?"

Emma thought about the question, scrunching her face in a way that reminded Snow of Henry way too much. "Anything sounds fun, I'm pretty easy to please so whatever you come up with I'm sure I'll enjoy."

Mary Margret smiled at her cooperation and ease, Emma fit right in to their family, but she knew there was a good reason behind that.

"How about we go shopping, I'm sure you'd like some new clothes." Snow suggested.

Emma looked unsure, she didn't want this woman to do anything more for her than she had to, she'd already shown her more than the usual kindness.

"I insist." Mary Margret said when she could see the teen reeling back towards answering a negative.

"Okay, we'll shop then, but nothing extravagant." Emma compromised.

"Oh, of course not, just the necessities." Mary Margret agreed to disagree, but she was going to shop for her daughter the first time, and she'd be damned if she didn't go overboard.

The family finished breakfast and got ready for the day as Emma insisted upon doing the dishes while they showered and dressed. After about an hour they regrouped in the mudroom, pulling on a coat each before crowding into the car, Emma in the front, and the two boys in the back.

"Yay!" Mary Margret exclaimed as they sped off to the mall. "I love shopping, I never have time any more with work, and then all my free time elsewhere is spent with the boys. This is going to be so fun! What do you like to wear? When I was your age I was a goth," She laughed and continued on rambling as Emma and Henry's eyes met in the rearview mirror. The boy mouthed a 'sorry' and Emma just winked at him and laughed silently, listening on the the woman in the driver's seat.

After getting caught in a jam, they made it to the mall in decent time. Getting out of the car was an ordeal in it's own and Emma found herself cracking up as Mary Margret struggled to open the stroller, hitting it against the pavement quite violently. After that cluster, the car seat jammed and they spent a good five minutes arguing over what was wrong before Henry simply told them to move, and unlocked it with ease.

"We loosened it up." Emma deadpanned.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Henry replied, walking ahead. The two girls shared a look before breaking out into laughter once more.

They finally made it into the mall, and Emma was enthralled by it all, she'd never been to a mall and the two that had found it amusing and adorable as she asked and ogled over the simplest things.

"Why does that look like a cabin?" Emma asked as they neared a Hollister, once in front of it Emma breathed in and nearly choked on the scent of perfume. "Oh, no, never, we need to escape."

"My thoughts exactly, though they do have nice jeans." Mary Margret agreed, hurrying after the excited teen. "How about here, they have cute stuff for kids your age." She pointed to a Forever 21. Emma took one look and shook her head.

"Too frilly." She explained. Snow nodded and followed her over to the American Eagle, where Emma found jeans and tees galore. Trying on all types of styles and washes, she decided on five pairs after the teacher's insistence she get more than just the one, then repeated the process four times over. The same insistence was pushed upon when Emma tried on tees and cardigans, ending up with a medley of nearly 20.

Mary Margret didn't let her see the price as she paid, she wanted Emma to understand she was doing this because she wanted to, not because she saw the girl as a charity case. They went to a few other shops and picked out small items at each, tees and a couple of skirts before coming to a close outside the shoe store.

"Shoes?" She asked Emma, who glanced down at her beaten up converse that at one point were white, but now a dirty shade of gray with scuffs and holes aloof.

"I kinda like these." Emma tried to scoot away from being splurged on anymore.

"Shoes it is." Mary Margret said and pulled her children into the large shop. Emma moved about the aisles, she already knew she wanted Converse, they were the best. Wasting no time she picked up a pair, gray in color with green rubber. She held them up to Mary Margret who nodded and ordered a staff member to retrieve her size in that color and another. Emma decided not to fight her kindness and asked for a maroon pair, as well.

Their escapade now over, they sat in the car buzzing about where to go to eat.

"Ugh, Mom, no more salad, I'm turning green!" Henry answered when she suggested Sweet Tomatoes.

"They have other things!" His mother argued.

"Let's go to Urban's!" He suggested, she looked at Emma.

"It's cheese steak sub's, you can't really say you live in Philly until you've been initiated by Urban's." She said, Emma beamed and nodded.

"Sounds awesome." The blonde agreed. They all ordered up, Mary Margret making sure they got a fair serving of vegetables as well as meat and cheese, then the family sat at a bench watching the world go by as they enjoyed their subs.

"This. Is. Amazing." Emma said, swallowing, she looked kindly to the woman she was blissfully unaware to be her mother. "This has been the best day of my life, thank you all so much."

"That means so much to hear, Emma, we're so happy to have you with us." They both smiled before finishing off the rest of their food, and sitting to digest a moment as they people-watched.

"Gross that guy just picked his ear and sniffed it!" Emma called out, secretly pointed over to the man in question.

"Let's see where he goes." Snow laughed, they watched as the man walked over to a woman and shook her hand, using the same hand that had just been knuckle deep in ear wax.

"Grody." Henry agreed, then they all went back to the station wagon and headed home. David's cruiser was parked on his side of the drive, his truck left at the precinct.

"Daddy!" Henry called, jumping his father, who scooped him up and kissed his cheek. "EW!" His son exclaimed, wiping the remnants of the kiss away with the back of his hand. David felt his heart stop, he knew in that moment that Emma was really his daughter, he could see himself in her eyes, and a tear fell down his face.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked when she saw the emotion upon her arrival. "Do I look bad?" She said, looking around for a mirror to examine.

"No, I'm sorry, you look beautiful. I'm just happy to see you looking so bright today." He smiled, she returned it. "So what did everyone do today?" He asked, hanging on to every word as Emma reran her mental record of the day with a shine in her eyes that he hadn't seen the night before.

"So, yeah, we had a great day." His daughter finished. "How about you, what's new in CopLand?" She joked.

"I'm glad, but not much, but we did manage to get a warrant for those people, they'll be sent out in about an hour to collect the kids and arrest those bastards." His fists balled when he thought of what he was going to do to the sleaze that hurt his daughter, along with other innocents, to him that was inexcusable.

"Really?" Emma looked shocked. "Can I come?" She asked, he looked taken back.

"What? Why would you want that?" He asked.

"They'll be scared of you guys, I don't want them to be afraid, please?" She asked, pleating with her eyes, he nodded.

"You won't be afraid?" David asked.

"Yeah of course I will, I'm scared just thinking about it, but you'll be there to protect me, right?" She looked at him, hopeful.

David nodded, wrapping one arm around the small teen. "Of course, I'll be right by your side the whole time." He agreed.

"So let's get this son of a bitch!" Emma exclaimed, terror and excitement fought against one another within her, giving her a rush like no other.

"Emma!" Mary Margret scolded from the kitchen.

"Sorry!" She sang, but David was laughing with her.

"Alright, Snow, we're going to go get this son of a bitch!" David called, Emma burst into giggles as his wife yelled at him to keep his language in check.

 **How am I doing so far? (;**


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning; Implicated child rape. This chapter made me quite emotional, I'm not not quick to cry but, I did. Enjoy, thank you for reading!**

Emma's nerves picked up as they sped down the open road, the same one she'd been running down last night. David could sense that she was having second thoughts.

"Wanna go home?" He asked.

She pushed his reference of his home as a general one, aside and shook her head.

"This is noble of you Emma, you know that." David said.

The girl scoffed. "How do you figure that? It's my fault they're here anyway, I wasn't enough for him, if only I had tried harder he wouldn't have even-" She trailed off, not wanting to show her weakness once more. David looked to her, shocked by the confession.

"Take it back." He stated simply.

"What?" Emma asked, and shook her head.

"Take it back, Emma." He pulled the car over so her could look her in the eyes, his eyes. "None of this is on you, that man, he's a sick fuck, you know that, right? You've gotta know that by now, this is the doing of a perverted fucking," He trailed off, not knowing the right words to say. "You know what I mean, so take it back." David finished.

Emma nodded, tucking her blonde strands back into submission behind her ear. "Okay, I take it back."

"Okay." He gave a nod and peeled back onto the road, they road in silence until they pulled up to the house, another cruiser was right behind them. "Wait here." David said.

"No, you said I could help!" Emma grew fretful.

"I know, but first we need to get him into custody, once he's in cuffs you can show us where they are, okay?" She nodded, he did too and ran over to his fellow officer, the two wearing uniforms, while David just wore a leather jacket, button up, and workingman's jeans.

Emma chewed her hair as they knocked, her heart was in her chest as Mr. Wyatt answered the door, she could see him yell and punch David, then try to run. The other officer's took him down quickly and yanked him off the ground, into the cruiser. David motioned for Emma to come over while he held his nose.

Emma could feel her heart beat all over, in her finger tips, her stomach, just everywhere, as she walked up the steps. David took her hand, offering her some stability, he gave her a look as if to ask 'are you okay', and she nodded. David smiled despite the situation at the unspoken bond he and his daughter already had formed.

"This is it." Emma said stopping in front of a door, the one to the basement. With her hand on the knob she inhaled, he could hear her breath hitching. Emma closed her eyes and just when she was about to open the door, David placed a comforting hand on hers and opened it for her.

"It's okay, I'm here with you." David urged, Emma clasped his hand as he led the way down the creaky steps. There were two doors on either side of the concrete landing, Emma moved to the one on the right and pushed it open.

There was a squeal and Emma let out the sob she'd been holding back when two little girl's jumped into her open arms.

"Nemma!" They cried, David got a good look at them, twins. "Nemma, Sebby not waking up." One of the little voices sounded. Emma gave David an alarmed look as he burst into the room to find a young boy, no older than Henry, lying face first in a pool of blood.

David fell to his side and turned him over, he didn't know what he expected, but what he found was much worse. He brought his hands up to his face and wiped his mouth as he tried not scream out in defeat, the boy couldn't have been dead more than an hour, his throat slit wide open.

"David?" Emma called. "What's wrong?" She appeared in the doorway, David held his hand up as if it were any cover. Emma fell to her knees.

"My fault, I told you it's-" She began to sob again, David covered the body with a tattered blanket before scooping Emma up.

"And I told you it's not." He whispered, he asked the girls to follow him, but they grabbed his free hand allowed him to lead them to where the cruiser awaited. With the girls in the back seated, curled around Emma, he went to break the news to his co-workers.

"What's up?" His deputy, Downs asked when he saw the look in his boss' eyes.

David shook his head. "There was a dead kid down there, he killed him right in front of the other two, and then left him there to rot." David glared at the man in the back of the cruiser. "Get this fuck out of here, we need forensics and a body bag. I'm going to bring those three back to the station, get a statement if I can, fuck Downs I could have saved him, he was still warm."

"You can't save 'em all, Chief." Downs replied, patting his boss the on the shoulder as he began to walk back to his car.

"But I could've saved this one." He pressed, Downs shook his head and looked over to the new addition, a woman with the last name Salazar.

"Let's go." Downs urged and got into the passengers seat. The followed David for a while, then turned off onto the freeway where he kept going straight, choosing to stay on the main roads for the comfort of his passengers.

Arriving at the precinct in twenty minutes time, the four of them made way into a room where the girls' could be questioned. David allowed Emma to stay, since they twins didn't show any signs of letting go of their rock.

"So, can we start with what happened to the boy, Sebastian?" Emma nodded at the correct use of his name.

"Ava, you said you saw what happened, yeah?" The baby blonde to her left nodded. "Can you tell David for me, he's really nice, I promise." Ava nodded and looked David straight in the face.

"Mr. Wyatt killed him, with a big knife." She used her little hands to initiate just how big she was talking. "I used to see it in the kitchen, but he never used it like that before." She finished. "Is Sebby a ghost now?" She asked.

David looked to Emma, the more adept at dealing with the pair. "No, he went home, he's safe now." She answered.

"Okay." The girl nodded and buried herself deeper into Emma's arm. "We go home, too?"

Emma shook her head. "I don't know where we're going, baby."

David continued to question the girls, Emma being his translator for the most part, but there wasn't much they could tell him, because Emma requested that questions regarding their abuse were left solely to her account, she didn't want the twins to relive it.

So Eve and Ava were led into a playroom where they would sit with a consoler who would evaluate them to see if they were stable enough to be adopted or placed back into a home.

"I'm going to have to record this." David told the teen, she nodded and put on a brave face so she could tell him all about her life before this, their life.

"I guess I'll start from the beginning, well their beginnings." David nodded, Emma took a deep breath and went on to relive her nightmare.

 **Two years earlier**

Emma cried so hard, she begged him not to, but he wouldn't listen, so she pushed her aside as he went to answer the door.

"You stay there and shut the hell up!" He demanded, she cowered and curled up into the corner she listened to the voices echoing through the house.

"Hello, nice to see you again Susan, how've you been?" Emma could see him and his attempts to flirt with the social worker, and she could see the woman in question just eating it up.

"I've been well, and I see you have been too, new paint job?" She asked.

"You noticed, yes, thought the house needed some sprucing up, I like it but," He trailed off and Emma couldn't make out the rest of what he said.

"I'm so sorry, where's Emma, I'd love to see her!" She said, Emma perked up but sank back when Mr. Wyatt spoke up.

"Ah, she's napping upstairs, we played tag and she just tuckered out after, love that girl to pieces." He said.

"I'm glad Emma's found her home here, and I know these three will fit right in." Emma's heart stopped, there were going to be three more children submitted to this Hell. "This is Ava and Eve, the twins, and this is Sebastian."

"Hi, I'm Mr. Wyatt, welcome home." Emma felt bile rise out of her depths, this man was revolting to the core. Emma heard the door slam and feet shuffling. "Emma!" He shouted, she ran to where he stood with three new faces, all beaming up at her. She had to look away, she couldn't stand the hope they exuded, the thought that they could think this place to be their home disgusted her, she wanted to save them, but she couldn't even save herself.

"Hi." She said despite her best efforts not to speak to the fresh faces.

"Hello Nemma." One of the twins smiled up at her.

"It's Emma." She corrected, but the girl only shook her hand and repeated the nickname. "Okay, Nemma then." She breathed out.

"Yeah, so take them downstairs and leave them in our playroom, then start dinner." The warden commanded, she felt her veins run dry.

"Can't they just watch T.V. and we can go play?" She asked, he laughed, but it was filled with evil and not any shred of happiness.

"No, I don't want you anymore, Em, you're boring, remember?" He smiled at his new victims, salaciously and Emma would throw up if she had any food in her belly.

"We get to play with Daddy!" The boy clapped, Emma ran to the bathroom and retched over the toilet, only spilling out a clear stream of bile.

"Nemma, okay?" Came the voice of a twin.

"Nemma's okay." Emma said when she retreated, the girl clasped her hand and Emma just barely managed to lead them down the stairs, her legs threatened to give way beneath her.

"I'm sorry, but I have to go." Emma started to cry. "I'm sorry." She slipped from the room that was decorated with only a rat infested mattress, a camera attached to a tripod, and a few dilapidated children's toy's.

Emma continued to cry as she went about making dinner for the beast, after the last incident he'd removed all chemicals from the house, she'd been feeding him anti-freeze for weeks, but he just wouldn't die, she remember the abuse after that, it had been just worse than the first time. Emma shivered as she stirred the sauce, she turned the pasta on low and sank into one of the wooden chairs while she waited.

The beast stomped down the stairs wearing all black as tradition, he glared at Emma before slamming the basement door, locking it moment later, there was no way she could help them now. Fifteen minutes later came the unfiltered screams, Emma let out a long whine and covered her ears, she couldn't move.

"Nemma, help!" Came a voice laced with utter terror that Emma could recognize anywhere. Emma let out a scream as well, she banged the door.

"Stop, you bastard, stop! She's just a baby!" Emma cried, kicking the door.

"Nem-MA!" The girl cried. "No, NO, NO!" She repeated, then there was silence. Emma cried and hit the door weakly.

"Please stop, she's just a baby." Emma whispered, "you bastard." She cried for a long while outside that door, more screams followed but they never cried her name again, this was all her fault, she could never forgive herself.

Emma heard the beast coming up the steps, she ran to the stove where she found the sauce to have burned, the pasta had boiled over, it was inedible.

"You stupid bitch, can't do anything right!" He slapped her, his hands were bloodied and Emma let out a wail when she realized what the blood was from.

"You're the devil, no one is this evil." Emma accused.

He pointed a stained finger in her face, she could smell the blood. "That's right, but when evil stare's you in the face and you find yourself staring back, it's already too late."

Emma wanted to ask what that meant, because it truly made no sense to her, but she only closed her eyes and let the tears fall.

"Clean this up, then give them a bath." He demanded and charged up the stairs, taking a bag of chips in place of the dinner she hadn't made. The blonde quickly did as told then ran down the stairs to where the babies lay in a sobbing, bloody bundle.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't stop him, please forgive me, please." Emma begged the trio for forgiveness. One of the twins looked up, her eyes bleak and teary.

"Why, Nemma?" She asked, burying herself in the larger girl. Emma shook her head, and soon the one were joined by two, and the four kids cuddled together for they were all they had to offer.

"He hurt you, too?" Asked the boy, Sebastian, his big brown eyes burned holes in her skin as she nodded.

"Yes, and I wish I could save you, but I can't, I can't." Emma croaked, he held her hand.

"It's okay, Emma, at least you have us now." He said as if it were so simple.

"Yeah, but it shouldn't be this way, you shouldn't be here." She said.

"But that isn't your fault, we just have to try and be happy when we can." Sebastian said, Emma couldn't believe how wise he was.

"Okay," She nodded. "Let's get you guys cleaned up." She said, they all stood and trekked to the bathroom.

Sebastian washed himself before the twins' were placed in the tub, they cried the whole time, saying their privates hurt like before, Emma bit back her tears so she wouldn't make them uncomfortable, and washed them despite protests given. Emma found a way to distinguish the twins as she cleaned their hair. Eve had a scar on her forehead, where Ava had thrown a train at her. Ava was the one with freckles lining her nose and cheek bones.

Emma led them to her bedroom where she let them have the bed, and took up camp on the floor with nothing but a quilt. Sometime in the night, Ava had moved down to spoon up against the older girl, Emma wrapped an arm around her protectively, and it was then that she made a promise to herself that she would save them from this Hell, or die trying.

 **Present Day.**

Emma wiped her eyes, she'd ended up in tears after all. "I'm sorry, I can't anymore." She croaked. David handed her a tissue box, she took a few and wiped her eyes.

"It's okay, we know enough now to put him away for good." He took her small hands in his larger ones. "He's never going to hurt them again, or you, or anyone else. That bastard is going to rot in prison, I will not stop until he does."

Emma nodded and tried to convey her appreciation through a tight squeeze to a David's calloused hands, she knew he got the message when he stood.

"Do you want to see them?" He asked, she nodded and they trekked to the room where the girls' played happily with a woman, who had her back to the pair. As soon as she turned Emma was rendered speechless by the most stunning person she'd ever seen. The woman seemed equally entranced by Emma, they remained in their wake unblinking for far too long to be considered friendly. David saw the tension, and cleared his throat.

"Miss Mills," The woman blinked and laughed, glancing at the man then back to Emma.

"Sorry, yes, Chief Nolan?" Miss Mills said, she had the most amazing voice. Emma stood, unable to tear her eyes away, not that she wanted to any way. The adults spoke, but Emma didn't hear a word, just mumbling that flowed into a musical accompaniment to her one woman show.

"Emma?" David's voice broke her stupor.

"Uh, shit, yeah." He gave her a look. "My bad. Yes, David?"

"This is Miss Mills, she specializes in cases like your's and the girls'"

"Nice to meet you," She licked her lips. "Emma."

Emma nodded and flushed, she moved over to where the twins sat and began to help them with their puzzle, unable to hide the blush that hadn't subsided since coming face to face with their new therapist.

 _Oh god,_ Emma thought, _therapist._

Regina followed David out to the lobby and scheduled a session with Emma for the following day, and she headed home in her Benz, unsure of what was to come, she had felt something odd when she met the blonde, something she hadn't felt in a long time. Regina growled, the girl was almost half her age, she tried to find it in her to consider this above all else, but she couldn't.

"Regina, she is a rape victim, you are supposed to help her, and what you're thinking will only hinder her progress. Not to mention, it's illegal!" She slammed her balled fists on the wheel. "Okay, you can do this, just go home and take a bath." Regina sighed content at the though of a hot soak, some lavender bath salts, a perfect way to end her day, and clear her mind of her latest case.

Regina stalked up the stairs, eight floors in heels wasn't her cup of tea, and she found herself looking forwards to that bath more and more with each step. When Regina finally made it to her floor, there was someone leaning against her door. She groaned, one of her clients.

"I don't believe you have an appointment, Mrs. Brooks."She chided, the redhead smiled and tilted her head to undress the brunette.

"Since when did I need an appointment to come see you?" She asked, moving up closer to Regina, her lips ghosted over her's, and Regina was half tempted to close the distance, but instead created more, she crossed her arms. "So that's how it is now?" She nodded.

"I've had a busy day, I just want to take a bath, we can schedule for some time, tomorrow if you wish, but tonight, I'm off call." Regina pushed past her and pressed into the apartment.

"Okay, I'll call you." Regina rolled her eyes, while she loved her job and the escape it provided, she often found herself exhausted and pressed for time.

Quitting her original profession as a Dominatrix for hire would be a blessing and a curse, BDSM was something she was highly passionate about, it has thus far been the only means of sexual encounters that sounded even remotely appealing to her. The thought of someone ravishing her was greatly uncomfortable, but her knees would grow weak as soon as the tables were turned, so quitting wouldn't be without it's disadvantages.

Her work as a children's abuse consoler had begun to pick up when she ran into and old friend from school, Mary Margret, who they used to call Snow, and told her of her profession, the one appropriate for casual conversation that is, and wasn't surprised to hear that her and David were still together, and he was working as chief of police, and just her luck, he was in need of a consoler. Regina had applied, but was hired on the spot, she loved her new job even as she found it hard to pick up sticks with her previous one.

Every now and then she'd accept a client and have her fun, but it was no longer a priority of her's to indulge in such activities. Not that she needed a client to pleasure herself, but it did help. Regina sighed as she unceremoniously threw her purse onto the black leather couch, following in suit just as sloppily. She closed her eyes as she tried to clear her mind of anything and everything, most prominently her newest patient. While a bath sounded inviting before, now that she was down, she was down for the count. Regina fell asleep right where she sat and dreamt of sweet nothings.


	4. Chapter 4

**So just to make it clear, I am not a therapist, so I by no means feel qualified as one, so don't think I do. I will, however, be writing out more of their sessions as it is the beginning of their relationship. So, if I am wrong or not following some kind of code, just know that and if you wish to make a suggestion do it with at least some consideration to that. (:**

Across town, the Nolan clan was cooking dinner in a most suburban way, Emma sat on the back counter and watched as they flowed with one another in perfect sync. _These people are like a movie_ she thought as she slid off the marble and out of the room, feeling out of place suddenly. Emma moved upstairs to the bedroom she'd been issued, she reminded herself not to get too comfortable here, because they would send her back, they had to. The teen sat on the bed and pulled out a book from the shelf that she hadn't noticed last night, _Once Upon A Time_ she read, and flipped open the leather bound book just as a figure appeared in the threshold.

"I love that book!" Henry called and rushed in to sit next to her. Emma jumped up when he spoke, he rustled the blankets in his pursuit.

"Hey! I just made that bed." She mocked anger, he only rolled his eyes, prying the book from her and flipping to one of the tales.

"This is the one I used to read non-stop, like, my mom had to come in every night to take away my flashlight because I just wouldn't stop." Emma laughed at that and looked down to the story, it was of Snow White and Prince Charming the final night before the curse of the Evil Queen struck. Henry flipped through the pages to the very last one. "Their baby has your name." He pointed out.

"That's cool, maybe I'm royalty." She poised herself to prove the point.

"Mom and Dad are always Snow White and Charming for Halloween, they're obsessed, they even named their daughter Emma." He said the last bit less enthusiastically.

Emma swallowed, what had happened to her? She feared for the worst. "Where is she now?"

Henry shrugged and closed the book, placing it in her lap once more. "They won't tell me, they never talk about it, I only know since I found her blanket." He smiled sadly. "They made it like the book, too."

Emma returned the smile, she'd wished for a moment that she was their Emma, and they were her family, but she couldn't think like that. "Okay," Emma said, she felt hot, uncomfortable.

Henry perked up, "I almost forgot to tell you!" He exclaimed. "Dinner will be ready in five, Mom said wash up." He then ran from the room, she could hear the bathroom door shutting behind him. Emma stood and went to the washroom tied to her room, washing her hands she examined herself in the mirror. Only a day and she already looked better, the color had returned to her cheeks, her hair bounced back to it's natural wavy-curl, and her eyes were returned the fire that she knew burned in her belly.

Downstairs, the aroma of tacos, rice, beans, and fresh salsa was nearly overwhelming and Emma let her nose and empty stomach guide her to the riches.

"Hope you're hungry." David let out as he pulled out a chair for her to sit, she smiled and did so.

"Always! Food is my favorite activity." She joked.

Mary Margret set a large plate before each of them just as Henry charged in and skid into his seat, effectively knocking it over. The boys and Emma burst into laughter, Mary Margret, however dropped a platter and rushed to his side.

"Henry! I've told you time and time again, NOT to run on my tile with socks!" She pulled him up, he had a cheeky smile plastered on his face, red with exertion.

"Sorry Mom, I just wanted to do some James Bond tricks for Emma." He admitted, Emma beamed, James clapped at hearing his name.

"Well, you can show-off outside 007, _after_ dinner, and only if Emma wants to, okay?" Mary Margret raised her brow to him, he nodded and looked expectantly at the teen, who smiled in agreement. The five of them ate in comfortable silence, listening to a music track that Emma couldn't name, but she liked it nonetheless. Once plates were cleared, a very stuffed Emma was shooed out of the kitchen after Henry, who wanted to show her what he could do in 007 mode.

Outside, Emma was ordered by the boy to stand and hold a wooden target in front of her face. "I don't think this is safe," She protested, he laughed.

"Try telling that to my dad, he used to do this to me all the time." Henry called and returned with a BB gun in tow. Before Emma could question, he shot the target five times, she flinched with each.

"OH HELL NO!" She said after the first shot was fired, she braced herself for the impact, protecting her face from any possibility of damage. Henry was cracking up by the time she threw it on the ground.

"Check it out." He urged toward the wood lying facedown on the pavement. Emma picked it up cautiously. "It's not going to eat you, silly." He laughed, she glared at him before glancing down at the wood, surprised when she saw five indents in and around the bullseye. Her brows raised, impressed at his accuracy and confidence.

"You gotta teach me that!" She exclaimed, looking at him, eyes wide in excitement.

He beamed his baby-wide smile. "Okay, just let me get something to put this on!" He ran back into the garage and emerged with a larger target, hammer, and nail. The boy moved over to a nearby tree and pounded the plastic sheet into the bark before returning to Emma's side. Henry handed her the small weapon, explaining all the proper functions, how to hold is and where to aim. She nodded and held it out nervously, shooting and missing the first time.

"I suck." She pouted and went to return the arm to Henry.

"It's okay, I missed a bunch of times before I finally got anywhere near the target, try again." He encouraged. Emma nodded and aimed once more, this time she felt slightly more confident and hit the far right corner of the tarp.

She beamed, "yes!" The two shared a high five, Emma then went on to fire off the rest of the pellets, getting closer and closer to the bullseye each time.

"See, you're a natural!" Henry praised, this time accepting the gun as she returned it. "You'll be even better when it, you know, daylight." He shrugged.

Emma took that in with a contemplative expression. "I don't know about that, I see really well in the dark, I had to get used to it where I'm from." She shrugged it off, no big deal.

Henry's parent's had told him not to ask about Emma's past, but curiosity got the best of his young mind and he let out, "Where was that?"

Emma stiffed, she bit her lip, it began to bleed once more. "A bad place."

Henry shuffled his feet, wishing he could take back the question. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked, you can just tell me to shut up, I won't take it personally."

Emma nodded. "It's okay, I always say the wrong things, too." She let out a forced laugh before gesturing towards the house. "Let's go inside, yeah?"

"Yeah." He smiled, and took her hand, an apology. Emma smiled though the boy couldn't see it, she felt they'd connected somehow. In the house, the smell of the dinner they'd shared still lingered and it was warm, a real home. Emma'd never known what a home felt like, all the places she'd lived felt cold and detached, not here, this house was a home if there ever was one.

"Hey!" David greeted. "Did he show you the thing?"

Emma smiled. "The one where he nearly takes out my eye?" The officer nodded. "Yeah, but he's a great shot!" She said, surprised.

"Of course, he's my son!" David ruffled the boy's curls, to his great dismay.

"Don't touch the due, Dad! You know how long this takes me." He tamed his dark locks once more.

"Yeah, I know how long it takes you to wake up and brush it twice a week!" He turned to Emma. "He once had found two gummy worms nestled in there, who knows how long they were there." He glared at his son, playfully as ever.

"Maybe my hair was hungry," He shrugged, Emma couldn't stop grinning.

"Yeah okay, time to shower, Hungry Hair, you've got school tomorrow." He pushed Henry upstairs, the boy ran all the way up before disappearing into the bathroom. David turned to Emma. "Wanna watch a movie? We have a shelf full, and the Netflix, if you can't find anything." She crinkled her nose.

"What's Netflix?" She asked, he shook his head.

"Beats me, some movie application that costs way too much and never has anything good to watch." She laughed.

"Sounds like fun." She agreed and followed him into the movie room. Inside she stood in awe, there was a projector facing a large white sheet on the wall, cozy seating scattered about, bean bags chairs to a purple futon littered with blankets as well as pillows, and the wall not covered by a screen housed to black shelfs just stacked with DVDS.

"This is awesome. It's like your own personal theater!" Emma exclaimed.

"We had an incident once at an actual theater, let's just say fists flew," He laughed at the memory of Mary Margret fighting a clerk for telling her to keep her kids in check. "Mary Margret now refuses to step foot in one," He gestured around the room. "thus, the Theatre Nolan was born."

Emma cringed. "You don't actually call it that, do you?" She asked, he chuckled and shook his head 'no'. "Well, I'm sure this is far more fun anyway, you can bring your own food and there's no one to kick your seat or try to narrate the whole film." Emma regarded.

"I couldn't agree more, the whole experience is just overrated." He replied, loving that Emma had such a similar view to things as he.

"Pick one." He said and pointed to the shelf. "It should be labeled by genre, so let me know when you find something and I'll set it up." She nodded as he left and strutted over to the shelves, she saw the 'horror' section and immediately ran to it. She skimmed through the labeled before one caught her eye, she pulled it out and read the summary. Deciding upon it, she left to find David with 'Child's Play'. She found Mary Margret first, tidying up the kitchen as she sung to James, who just babbled adorably.

"You're a regular Snow White." Emma said upon entrance, the woman turned and beamed at here.

"You know, that has been my goal in life since I first read that book?" She asked and threw down her rag. "Enough of that." She wiped her brow with the back of her hand.

"Yeah, Henry told me all about you and David's complete.. infatuation with the pair." She used the word as it seemed that's what it was.

Mary Margret laughed. "It's funny, all of our friends in high school would go as a different fairytale character, David and I were Snow and Charming, Ruby was Red Riding Hood, there were other's too, but you wouldn't know them." She slapped the air as if it was the subject at hand. "What's that?" She pointed towards the movie still clutched between Emma's fingers.

"Oh," She held swung it up to prove she understood. "Child's Play, looks pretty good. Wanna watch it with me?"

Mary Margret looked appalled. "Oh, no way, I can't watch scary movies, not even the corny one's." She admitted, then David swept in.

"It's because she's a pussy." He confirmed, Emma mocked shock as she held back a giggle. Mary Margret's shock was all too real.

"Excuse you?" She iterated. He wore a challenging smirk, his wife turned to Emma, her brow in the sky, but only one. "You heard that, too, I'm not going senile?" Emma nodded.

"You better say sorry." The teen urged.

"Why would I apologize for the truth?" He asked, the kissed his wife on the forehead, she melted and smiled. "What're we watching?" She held it up. "Nice, a classic."

"You two are horrible, a killer doll, what a silly notion!" She shook her head. "I'm going to live in the real world and read this little guy a bit of Charles Dickens," Emma scrunched her nose. "For babies." Mary Margret confirmed, Emma began a slow nod of understanding with he eyes still narrowed. "So, Dr. Seuss."

They shared a laugh at that. "The real world, starring Green Eggs & Ham!" Emma stated.

"It's actually Cat in the Hat, thank you very much!" She stated proudly.

"Oh, much better." Emma agreed sarcastically.

"Pft! Go watch your stupid movie and stop judging me!" Mary Margret pressed as she plucked James out of his highchair and breezed out.

"You started it!" David called after her.

"Up yours, Charming!" Came her tone from halfway up the stairs.

Emma and David shared a look before he put his arm around her. "Come on, let's go watch this _atrocity."_ He said and led them to the movie room.

The movie was over rather quickly as they laughed at and questioned everything that went down. "How was it?" He asked once the credit's rolled.

"I loved it! Especially the last bit, we should watch the next one!" She said animatedly.

He yawned. "Tomorrow." He agreed, she dampened but nodded, happy to know there;d be a tomorrow here in their home. "Come on, I'll walk you to your room." They exited, turning off the lights as they passed. They soon came to Emma's door, she opened it to a dark room and turned to say goodnight.

"Goodnight, thank you for today, and everything." She gave him a hug.

"Night, Emma, I hope you'll be done thanking me for everything soon." He chuckled.

"Probably not." She let out a yawn.

"I'll get used to it, then."

"Okay." She smiled tiredly. "Goodnight." She then closed the door and went on to take a shower before dressing in a new pair of pajamas and falling asleep as soon as she hit the pillow.

David made his way down the hall to his room to find his wife already asleep, curled up around a book atop the covers. He let out a content sigh and fixed her so she was comfortable and warm, then settled himself, turned off the lights, and fell asleep. He remained as such for a couple of hours, then he and Mary Margret were simotaneously jolted upright by a blood curdled scream. They didn't bother comprehended when they bolted out of bed and to the room of their infant, only when another cry sounded, they realized it wasn't James who had woken them.

"No!" Came another scream, they ran into Emma's room where the girl was struggling against imaginary forces as she sobbed. "Stop!" Another scream, they would have gone deaf if it was any louder. Mary Margret was the first at her bedside, leaving a shocked David in her wake. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she brought Emma to as soft of an awakening as she could.

"Emma." She cooed. "Wake up, baby, it's okay." They girl opened her eyes wide and searched for her attacker, breaking into a hard sob when she was lifted into Mary Margret's arms. The teen choked and shuddered for a good five minutes, her mother holding her tight to show she was safe and would be for as long as she lived.

"Please don't make me go," She croaked. "I can't, I can't," Her voice was small.

"Never." Mary Margret whispered into her ear, and kissed her temple. "I'll never let you go again." David shuddered as she slipped up, but Emma hadn't noticed, she only let herself be rocked to sleep in his wife's loving arms. "Never." She repeated before tucking the limp girl into bed once more.

The next day, everyone was up bright and early for school, even Emma, who would be accompanying David to work. He'd told her that morning that she was to have a session with the counselor that had consulted the girls' the day before, Emma internally rolled her eyes, she didn't need therapy, not even if it _was_ with the extremely enamoring Miss Mills.

The blonde teen sat lounged around the station for most of the day, she played darts with Downs, beating him with flying colors each time.

"Beginner's luck," He'd confirmed after she'd showed him up a third time when he'd uttered the same thing once, then twice.

"What was that?" She held a hand to her ear as if to amplify his words. "Is that a sore loser I hear?"

He shooed her away as she laughed. "Whatever, kid, Chief wants you." He pointed towards David who beckoned her over.

"Hey, Miss Mills is waiting for you, you ready?" He asked.

She looked sour. "For therapy? No, but I guess I probably need it. I had the worst dream last night." She admitted as he led her to the room. He decided against telling her about last night and her despreation as he opened the door to Miss Mills' office.

"Good afternoon, Regina!" He greeted, she looked up and smiled wide. The room was dark gray but with bright colored and abstract drawing all around, clearly that of children.

"Hello, David, Emma." She nodded towards the girl, who blushed profusely. "Won't you come in?" They did and closed the heavy door behind them. David began to debrief the woman of Emma's condition as the girl herself looked about the room and anything other than Regina Mills.

The doctor would look over at Emma occasionally as he spoke only to find her eye's awkwardly averted to whether it be a wall or the floor.

"Well I'll leave you to it? You'll be okay?" He landed a hand on Emma's shoulder, she nodded and looked down to her hands which were restless in her lap.

"So, what do you like to do?" She asked, Emma shrugged. "I'm sorry if this is weird, I usually work with much younger generations, so excuse me if I treat you.. unaccording to your age." Regina said, God what was she saying, she knew she was making a complete fool of herself.

"What's this?" Emma asked, motioning towards a box on the desk. Regina reached for it and flipped it open.

"My stash." She winked, it was full of all different colored lollipops. "Want one?" She asked, taking a grape one for herself.

Emma pressed her lips together before reaching out and taking an orange. "Thank you." She said as they both rid of the wrappings and popped the candy between pearly teeth.

"Mhm," Regina hummed. "Do you like music?" Emma made a 'sort of' type move. "I love it, Van Halen, Sinatra, you know, the classics. Recently though, I've found myself to be enjoying Punk Rock more and more. The Adicts, Bad Religion, Flogging Molly, that kind of stuff. I could name more, but they are all on my Ipod, which I left at home." She flickered through the music library she had on her work computer. "Ah, this, this I think you'll quite enjoy, some say it's underground, but I would beg to differ." Regina turned on Here Be Dragons by Violent Soho and the tunes travelled through to the speakers surrounding the room.

"I like it." Emma agreed once the music faded.

Regina grinned before playing her next choice. "The Pixies, Wave of Mutilation, it's my favorite by them." She frowned. "Well that's a lie, they have many songs I enjoy quite a bit, but we'll leave it at that, I could just go for days."

Emma nodded. "I like your voice." She peeped.

"Why?" Regina asked, Emma looked at her irritated. "Well we have to talk about something?" Regina played up her hands.

"Right, well, it's calming and beautiful, I've never heard someone with a voice quite like yours." Emma let out.

"I would hope not, or I'd have to say we've met before, and I would certainly remember that."

"Why?" Emma retorted.

Regina smirked. "Why not?" The teen rolled her eyes.

"This isn't what I was expecting." She blurted. "And since I know you're going to ask; I was expecting you to ask me all about what's happened and what's wrong with me, but you're not, you haven't even asked anything like that. Why?"

"Well, we've only just met and hounding you with questions on your abuse would be counter productive, as I want you to _want_ to share with me and allow me to help you, not fell forced. What I'm trying to say is that I want to establish a foundation, with trust and mutual understanding. Sound good?"

Emma smiled so wide she thought her cheeks would rip. "I'm sorry, you make me nervous." She admitted, her glances returned to the floor.

Regina gave another signature smirk, but wiped it away as she knew he real affect on the girl. "Why?" She asked.

"I don't feel comfortable answering that." Emma swallowed.

"Okay, another time." Regina nodded and took a note.

"Can I ask you questions?" Emma asked after a few moment's silence. Slowly, Regina nodded with furrowed brows.

"Okay," Emma thought it over. "If you could describe yourself as a fruit, what fruit would you be?" The woman laughed at that and Emma felt her breath catch.

"An apple, of course. They are strong and crisp, refreshing as well as sweet."

"That's a good answer." Emma smiled.

"What would you be?" She retorted. "Wait, let me guess, hmm, grapefruit?"

Emma grinned, "Close, orange."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I feel like an orange." Emma said swiftly.

"Hmm, any particular reason?" The girl shook her head, the held up a finger.

"Nothing rhymes with orange, and it's like outcast from other words."

"And you can relate because you feel outcast from the world?" She asked, therapist mode activated.

"Well, I mean, yeah, I was cut off for so long and living in this, this torture chamber for lack of a better term, so yeah I feel outcast. I know people have it worse, but all I know is my suffering and my pain, and I haven't met anyone more fucked up than I am so far, so.." She trailed off.

"That's an interesting observation, very wise." Emma shook her head. "What?"

She looked up and Regina could tell she held back tears. "Ever since I joined reality, you know, I've been told that I'm 'noble' or 'wise' but that's not how I see it"

"How do you see it?" Regina questioned, no trace of judgement could be seen in her features.

"I think I'm weak, and disgusting. I feel like my life is already over, when I know it's just begun. I think 'holy shit' I have all these years to live, and I already feel like I've lived enough. So much pain, it's just, I can't sometimes, and it's hopeless, so dark." She let a tear fall, not daring to face Regina.

"What do you want to do in these times?"

"I-" She began. "I want to kill myself, and end it all before I can suffer more, or make others miserable. Then I get scared because I'm so afraid of death, and pain, and I just wish I could control it all, but I know I can't, and that scares me more than anything, the not knowing."

"Uncertainty." Regina moved off of her words.

"Yeah, I just hope that when I die it's quick, no suffering and just darkness."

"Emma." The girl looked up. "Are you afraid of living?"

"Yes," She whispered. "But no."

"Which one is it?" Regina continued.

"Both." She confided.

"Why aren't you afraid?"

Emma took a deep breath, she wiped her eyes. "Because life is so beautiful, and I never got to see that side of it, not too much anyway, and I want to. I want to see the good and I do, but sometimes all the horrors blanket me and I feel lost, untouched by good."

"Why are you afraid?"

"So many reasons, there are so many horrible things that could happen at this very moment and we would never know, not until it was too late and there was no stopping it and no way out." Emma put her sucker back into her mouth, looking younger than she was.

"Of course, and that scares you, giving up control?"

Emma nodded slowly, surely. "I've never been in control of myself, and I've always been scared, except for when I escaped and I was free, running down that road, even busting my lip open felt better than living in the system. " She touched the wound.

Regina let her eyes wander and her mind, wondering what it would be like to taste those lips, feel them move beneath her own. Pulling herself from that, she crossed her legs to deny the heat that had been growing.

"You don't like being out of control, either, do you?" Emma asked.

"No," Regina confided in a whisper. "It is my biggest fear, it's almost irrational."

"Do you know why?"

"Yes." She said, why was she saying this, opening up to this girl when she was the one who was supposed to be asking the 'why's'?

"Tell me." Emma pressed lightly, leaning forward.

"I-" Regina began as the timer alerted that their time was up, the woman looked to the device and back to Emma, her eyes wide and confused.

Emma gave her a weak smile and stood. "Next time." She said and moved towards the door, turning once in the threshold, she smiled, and, was that another blush?

Regina pulled herself together, she cleared her throat. "Next time." She repeated. Before looking up in shock at her sudden realization. "Oh, no, no, no, you do not. Bad for business, bad for business." She said, thinking of her growing attraction towards the girl, she denied herself the luxury of saying it aloud in fear that saying it would make it real, and she couldn't have that.

 **Yes! It's real! Again, hope everyone is enjoying, because I am! Don't you love the Charming family fluff? It's just so cute and fun.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for all the review, I love them and all of you!**

 **To the guest asking about James' care, David was with him when he left, he must not have expected to be gone long. If it ease's your mind any, imagine that the sitter was present and accounted for. (; Enjoy! P.S. G!P is not what I had in mind, but it does give me pause, so I'll keep it in mind when it comes time for the big reveal.**

Emma fell back onto the couch, after her session with Regina, she'd been unable to rid her thoughts of the woman, she intrigued Emma like no other, and she couldn't wait to get to know her further. Emma's gut wrenched, _gross, feelings,_ it seemed to say, she couldn't agree more, but also could care less as she would willingly sap herself out if it meant a chance with her therapist.

"Oh, God." She mumbled when the word crossed her train of thought, she was the personification of a school-girl crush. Emma had always been attracted the the same-sex, she'd been far more bold in her early years, with no shame she'd kiss her friends right on the mouth, always under the slide so no one would see. Of course, no one took it as actual attraction, just little girl's doing what they all do at some point or another.

Emma missed those days, she hadn't a care in the world in kindergarden, that's when she still lived with her first foster family, the Swan's, it's where she had been given her surname. For five year's she lived in their care, they loved her as much as any child of their own, until the time came that they'd actually been blessed with a child of their own, and she was tossed away like nothing. It had hurt, and she will never forget that day.

 **Ten years earlier.**

Emma ran with little grace as fast as she could over to where her mother awaited. "Mommy!" She jumped into the woman, called Ingrid's, arms.

"Hello, Princess, how was your day?" She said, her tone loving.

"I made this for you!" Emma exclaimed, squirming out of her grip to pull a folded piece of craft paper from her Scooby-Doo knapsack. Emma extended the paper to Ingrid who graciously unfolded it to reveal a picture of her, and more than a bit of glitter. "See," Emma pointed, "you're the Ice Queen, just like you wanted." The girl beamed.

Ingrid gave her a warm smile, full of love, as she had so much for the young girl. "I love it, Emma." She crouched down to the girl's height and pulled her into a squeeze. "Let's go home." She said and they went hand-in-hand to where the gray mini-van awaited.

Emma babbled happily to the It's a Small World soundtrack as they made their way home to the quaint Victorian style house, it had blue trimming and feather like shutter's. Emma undid her carseat, a trick she'd learned long before, and booked it to the front door, which she haphazardly rammed into upon arrival. The girl chortled at the hilariousness of bouncing off the door and onto her bottom.

"Silly Bee," Ingrid pulled her up and they went into the bright house. "Hungry?" She asked, Emma nodded viciously. "Did someone give you sugar?" She asked in mock accusation.

Emma's face turned down in a guilt as she shook it, slowly this time.

"Now, what did I tell you about lying?" Ingrid put her hands on her hips and tutted at her insolence.

"Never to lie, because it hurts more than the truth." Emma repeated the words, something she'd heard time and time again.

"That's right." Ingrid brushed her hair back. "Was it candy?" She asked.

Emma gave a small smile. "Yes! A sucker, it was grape flavored." She said with excitement.

"Ooh, yummy! I bet that was a nice treat," Emma nodded. "What would you like for snack?" Ingrid opened the fridge to find it barren aside from milk, celery, and a few leftover's covered by foil. The woman sighed and pulled the celery out, swiping the peanut butter from the pantry before spreading it across a few stocks and placing it before Emma, who clapped and began munching. Ingrid pulled out the chair across from the toddler and fell into it, she'd been feeling faint for the past few days and constantly yearned to fall into bed and never emerge.

With her head in her hands she listened to Emma crunch on her food, she could smell the peanut butter and it almost made her want to vomit. "Mommy? I done." She heard and swallow the rising bile.

"Are you full now?" Ingrid said after a sharp inhale. Emma nodded and shoved the plate towards her with one stick still left. "You're not done." She scolded mildly and pushed it back towards Emma.

"I save you one, even Mommy's need snacks." She said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Ingrid grinned at the kindness and grabbed the stick, snapping off a bite. Ingrid then picked up the plate and went to place it in the sick just as her stomach felt just about to burst, she anchored onto the wooden counter top and hissed.

"You okay?" A man's voice asked, soon her husband, Ryder, was holding her up as she winced once more.

"Fine, just a cramp." She said and shook him away, not liking the warmth that came with his touch.

"O-kay." He whistled and ran a hand through his wavy charcoal locks, he turned to Emma. "Hey, kiddo, how was school?" He asked, and she went on to tell him all about her day while he hung on to her every word with a loving grin. "Homework?" He asked when she finished.

"I have to draw farm animals." She pouted, "I can only draw cow's, cow's go moo!" She explained, he laughed.

"They do! Well, I'm sure that it won't be too hard, most farm animals look the same." He provided.

"Nu-uh, sheep look like clouds, cow's don't look like clouds at all! Did you know that every horsey has a unicorn twin!"

"I did not, that's pretty cool, I wish I had a twin unicorn." He replied.

"You silly, you're not a horsey!" She giggled, and he stood with a groan.

"Maybe I am, and you just don't know it." She pouted, Ryder raised his brow and she giggled again. "I'm off to work." He let out and went to kiss both his girl's, Emma on the forehead, and Ingrid on the cheek.

"I'll see you tonight." She breathed, the dishes were even exhausting her.

"You'll be up?" He sounded surprised.

"Yeah, it's only till 11, right?"

"No, I took on another shift, I work all the way to dawn." He pressed.

"Oh," She said sadly. "Then I'll see you in the morning." They shared one last kiss and he was gone.

After Emma had been put to bed, Ingrid sat on the edge of her own and contemplated what to do, she was late, for the first time in years, since she was told to be infertile.

"No, you're not pregnant, that's impossible." She muttered and strode into the bathroom. Opening the medicine cabinet's she found the test stick's one of her foster girl's had left when she aged out last month, she'd only just then found out she was pregnant. Ingrid took a shaky breath and extracted one.

She did what she had to and sat on the porcelain seat, her angst growing steadily for the three minutes she'd have to wait. When it finally passed she saw what she'd feared, but secretly hoped for, a blue cross decorated the stick. Tear's came unnoticed as she put her hand over her mouth to sob out loud without waking Emma.

The realization struck her, and she only cried harder. Emma, her sweet girl, she couldn't give her up, she was going to adopt her once the application she'd sent went through. The woman stood, faltering a bit before disregarding the test, flushing, then washing her hands before settling into bed. She wept until she blurred into sleep.

The moment he'd stepped into the room, she was awake. He smiled at her, she didn't return it.

"How'd you sleep?" Ryder asked, pulling off his boots.

"Ryder." She said bluntly. "I'm pregnant." She bit her lip, hoping for a positive reaction.

"What?" He said, shocked. "Baby, that's great! The doctors we're wrong after all, dicks." He shook his.

"I know, but what, what about Emma? We can't raise two kid's, we're barely scraping by as it is." He looked down to the ground and thought hard.

"Well, I could get another job, we could make it work." He tried.

"You'll work yourself to death." She whispered. "What do we do?" She looked to her love with bleary eyes, his matched her in that moment. Ryder pulled his wife into him, he smelled of old newspapers, she inhaled the familiar scent and it brought her warmth.

"We'll figure it out." He reassured, and hoped for the best but he knew what was coming would be anything but.

 **Nine months later.**

Ingrid was huge, she was due to pop any day now, and couldn't be happier, she was having a boy, she had already named him Riley, her husband insisted an 'R' name. Today was the day that Emma's social worker, a young woman named Susan, new to the job, she would take on Emma's case now that the previous one had since retired.

Ingrid had waited until today to break the news to her daughter, she just didn't have the heart until now, when she had no choice.

"Emma, baby, come here please." Rider had gone to work, she was on her own. Emma padded into the room in her princess nightgown.

"Yes, Mommy?" She asked, her voice laced with sleep. Ingrid fought back the tears, but she knew she wouldn't hold.

"Come here." She patted the couch, Emma jumped up and allowed the older blonde to pull her onto her lap. Ingrid played with her hair a while before speaking. "You know Mommy and Daddy love you so so much, yeah?" Emma nodded, she sniveled and went on, "But you know that sometimes bad things happen, and you have to say goodbye to the one's you love?"

"Like my real Mommy and Daddy?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, like that." Ingrid said bitterly. "Well, since we love you so much, we have to say goodbye." She let out, her voice shook with unshed tears.

"Why, you said you'd never let me go?" Emma began to sob. "You said you loved me and you'll never let me go!"

"I know, but I don't have a choice, Princess, and I love you so much, more than you know." She pleaded.

"No, you liar! You're just like them!" Emma accused, she pushed herself off the woman.

"No, Emma, no." Ingrid began, not knowing what to say, she was exactly like them, letting her baby girl go. "I'm sorry." She decided on.

"No you're not!" Emma screamed.

"I am, believe me, Emma, I am, but you'll find a new family, a better one." She tried.

"I don't want a new family! I want you!" The doorbell rang, Emma ran away as Ingrid went to answer it.

"Hi!" Said the cheery voice of a very short young redhead. "I'm Susan, Emma's caseworker, nice to meet you." She held out her hand, Ingrid shook it weakly, feeling lost. "Are you okay?" The girl asked, her face falling in concern.

"She's," Ingrid moved to let the woman in. "Upset, I just told her and she doesn't quite understand."

Susan nodded. "Leaving is harder on young children, and she's never known anyone but you, so I can imagine, where is she?"

"Upstairs I believe." Ingrid led the woman to Emma's room, it was locked. "Emma, baby, please open up." Ingrid called.

"No! You can't give me up, we're family!" Ingrid shook her head, this girl she'd raised suddenly felt like a stranger, and she had no idea how to console her.

"Let me," Susan whispered, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Emma, my name is Susan, I'm here to take you somewhere really cool, would you like that?"

"No! I want to stay home!" Emma threw something at the door.

"Not even if we went to the park? Or maybe the arcade?" Susan knew bribery wasn't a good technique in the long run, but she was new and had nothing better to offer a distraught child. "Ice cream?"

"With sprinkles?" Emma asked, quietly now.

"Anything you want." Susan said. "But you have to let me in."

"Just you." Emma deadpanned.

"Only me." Susan agreed and the door was pulled open to reveal a small blonde, who pulled her in and glared at Ingrid. After Emma slammed the door on her, she fell back against the wall and wept profusely for the thirty minutes it took Susan to pack all Emma's things.

The pair emerged, Emma had a death grip on the suitcase and teddy bear she loved so much, but she didn't once look to Ingrid.

"We're ready." Susan let out and followed Ingrid to the door, where she then turned to face the woman.

"Emma, can you say goodbye to Mommy?" She asked, Ingrid looked hopeful but Emma never looked up.

"She's not my mommy." She iterated. "Take me to the park, please."

Susan looked at her sorrowfully. "Okay, let's go." She turned to Ingrid. "Goodbye." Then they left, never to see one another again, but they never would forget the time spent as a family, until it was all ripped to shred, and Emma's heart broke for the first time.

 **Present Day.**

David, along with Henry burst through the door with armful's of groceries, Emma jumped as the door hit the wall, she was pulled from her daydream.

"Hey!" Henry greeted just as a bag ripped, spilling out it's contents of juice, Pop-Tarts, and a box of butter. "Oops," He said as Emma stood to pick it up. "Thanks!"

"No problem, you should probably take that to the kitchen before you break something." She suggested, he did so, they all followed. "That all?" Emma asked.

"Yeah, we have the thing about taking two trips, the thing being never to take two trips." David answered, the three of them began putting the goods away, Emma having to ask every so often where something would go. The whole deal took about ten minutes before Henry started to make a snack.

"Want one?" He gestured to a Hot Pocket, ham and cheese.

"Nah, I ate." Emma replied, he shrugged before popping it into the microwave. "How was school?" She asked,

"Boring, we're working on fractions and long division." He make a retching sound as he went on. "What about you, what did you do today?"

"First of all, gross, I hate math. And I didn't do much, went to work with your dad then came back here and hung out."

"Sounds way better than school." Henry said as the microwave beeped finalization.

"Eh, you'd be surprised how much you appreciate school when it's not an option." Emma breathed.

"Doubt it, but we'll agree to disagree." He said, she laughed.

"So you want to do school?" David asked, she'd forgotten he was even there. "Because the high-school down the street is really nice, we can sign you up next week."

Emma looked unsure. "I do but I mean, you know," She said and looked to Henry. David got the message.

"Hey, find us something to watch, will you?" He asked his son, who ran out of the room hissing as he bit into the bread to soon. "What's up?"

"I mean, how long did you plan on letting me stay, because I'd rather not start school just to turn around and move across town." Emma confided.

David sighed heavily. "Look, Mary Margret wanted to wait and have this talk with you, but I'd rather tell you, because she's," He thought about it. "Emotional."

Emma laughed with him. "So what?" She asked, wondering.

"We plan on adopting you, you already fit in so well, we all love having you, so why not make it official?" He couldn't read her face, but it was somewhere between crying and bolting.

"Uh, I don't know what to say." She sighed.

"You don't have to say anything, I don't want to overwhelm you, I just want you to know that we see you as part of our family, and hope you'll grow to see us the same."

"I-" She began just as the door slammed shut, they both turned their attention to the new arrival.

"Hey!" Mary Margret said, breezing into the kitchen, she squeezed Emma's shoulder as she passed to plant a kiss on David's cheek. She sensed a bit of tension and turned to them both. "What's up?"

"Uh, nothing, just talking about school." Emma breathed.

"Oh! Are you going to enroll, David's sister is the principle, she could help you into all the right classes!" Mary Margret beamed.

"Yeah, thinking about it." She said, looking to David with knowing eyes, they agreed to not speak of the previous conversation until much later.

"Great! I can give her a call, set up a meeting, it'll be great!" She was so excited, Emma couldn't disagree. "So, dinner, I'm thinking tuna casserole." She let out.

"Yum!" David said. "Emma?"

"Yeah, love it, um can I ask you something?"

"Anything." They said in unison.

"Do you think I could use your phone? And phone book?" Emma asked.

"Of course, who'd you want to call?" Snow asked.

"Uh, my therapist." Emma laughed.

"Oh, I could give you her number, just use my cell, she'll have no choice but to answer then." He laughed and pulled out his IPhone, handing it to the teen. "Just look up her name and press call." He explained.

"Okay, can I take this upstairs?"

"Of course." He said and went about setting the table.

Emma searched for Regina's contact as she made her way steadily up the stairs. One in her room she waited to press call until she was out on the roof, a trick she'd discovered the night before when trying to get a look at the city. Outside, it was cool, the sun was out of sight, though it was still bright. The high rises could be seen with trails of pink, orange, and purple settling behind it in the fog. She pressed call as she inhaled the fresh air, smelling of mowed grass.

It rang three times. "Chief Nolan, how can I help you?" Regina's voice flooded through the line. Emma's breath hitched, she didn't know what to say. "Hello?"

"Uh, it's Emma." She said shyly.

"Emma," She could hear the smile in her tone. "How are you?"

"I'm okay, I just wanted to talk to you." She said.

"Oh, about what?" The girl didn't know it, but Regina could not stop smiling.

"I don't know, I never got that far," She confided as she watched a bird fly over head. "I just saw a bird." She smiled.

"What kind?" Regina asked.

"Uh, crow, or maybe a sparrow. I don't really have extensive bird knowledge."

Regina laughed. "I like raven's, did you know that you can have them as pets?"

"No, that's cool though, I think I'd want a crow to be my cronie, because, I don't know, word play."

"That's far more clever, but raven's are larger, much more badass." Regina agreed.

"Well, I wouldn't know, there's my lack of birdology coming in."

"Birdology, huh? Ornithology, dear." She chuckled.

"You think you're winning, but you only helped prove my point even further." Emma chided.

"You're quite welcome, then, if that's the case."

"Okay," Emma said, her cheeks ached, why couldn't she stop smiling? Regina fucking Mills, that's why!

"I charge extra for over the phone, sessions." Regina joked.

"Oh, and how about sessions taking place outside of the office?" Emma asked. _What wait? No!_ She scolded.

"Depend's on the place, and the company." Regina began, Emma didn't know it, but she was about to burst in anticipation.

"What if I asked you to meet me at bookstore downtown?"

"Are you?" Regina countered.

"Am I?" Emma threw it right back.

"Yes." Regina laughed.

"To what?" Emma said, deadly serious.

"What do you think?" Regina said, equally serious.

"It's called Signature Strauss Classic's." Emma informed.

"And?" Regina went on.

"And it's on 3rd street." Emma breathed. "And I'd like you to meet me there at 4:30."

Regina felt as if her face was going to split in half. "We'll see Miss Swan."

"Wait, I kind of need to know if you're going to be there, since I have to take the bus, and would rather not unless you'll be there." Emma laughed.

"I'll be there." Regina said.

"Excellent. See you then, Miss Mills." Emma said with all the sass she had in her body.

"I look forward to it, Miss Swan." Regina purred and hung up the phone. Her grin didn't falter as she made her way back to the blood red room she used for play. Miss Brooks hung from ropes that attached each of her arms, her legs spread apart where they hardly touched the ground. Regina gave no warning as she slithered up behind the woman and ran a sharp, manicured nail down her spine, into her slip. The girl shuddered.

"Please." She mumbled, she was blindfolded, Regina preferred it that way.

"No talking!" She scratched her back, hard, small red drops began to bead the surface, the girl held a cry in her throat. "You may apologize." Regina said.

"I'm sorry." She hissed.

Regina hummed and went to her shelf, where all of her _items_ were. "Not good enough, dear, I'm afraid I have to punish you." She grabbed a pair of shock therapy clamps that she knew Jade loved, Miss Brooks rather. Attaching them to each of her pert nipples. she raked her nails down ample clevage, more blood was drawn.

"You've been dirty, I can smell it." Regina scolded, she loved humiliation. "I told you, I always tell you," She tutted. "But you go and open your legs for the common wealth, hmm?" She amped up the controls to the first level. "You deserve this." She pressed the button, one second, the girl tensed. "Fucking slut." Two seconds, she moaned. "Tell me what you are."

"I, I'm a dirty slut." Three seconds, she tensed, Regina ripped off the blindfold.

"Tell me again." She ordered.

"I'm a dirty slut." Five seconds, this time a tear streaked down her face.

"That's right." Regina chuckled. "Some things never change, but we're going to do something about that, yes?" The girl didn't answer, she squeezed her eyes shut. "I asked you a question!" Regina amped up the device, and let it run for three seconds. Jade cried out in ecstasy and pain, Regina knew she couldn't hold. "Look at me." Regina wore a smirk, she held the button up and just as she was about to press it.

"Kentucky, Kentucky!" Jade cried, she winced.

"Pussy." Regina scolded mildly.

"I have to go to work." Jade pressed as Regina began to untie her.

"Are you ever going to quit that dreadful place, how degrading." The brunette chided mildly, Jade had been stripping since she was 18, just as long as she'd been coming to Regina. That was nearly six years ago she first met the fiery girl.

"You're one to talk about degrading." Jade chuckled, pulling on a red v-neck.

Regina looked shocked. "What I do is art, it's beautiful." Regina told her.

Jade shook her head. "I know, or I wouldn't be here." Jade winked. "But I'm going to quit, I just wouldn't know what to do, this is all I know, Regina."

"I know, but I can help you, find substantial work, if you want."

"I don't really, it's good money and I like all the girls. Once you learn to cut it all off, it's not too.. degrading."

Regina scoffed. "It's no fun calling you a dirty slut in character if you are one in real life." She breathed, her eyes widening at the words. "No, Jade, I didn't-"

The girl looked hurt. "Save it. That's a real low blow, Regina, even for you." She shook her head, red curls flew. "You have no right, at all, to any of this!"

"I know, I take it back, I just don't want you to go down the wrong path, I.. care about you, I like to think of you as a close friend. You have so much potential, I've seen you're art, I can get you a job at the station, a profiles artist!" Regina tried.

"A cop? No thanks, but I get it, okay?" Jade held the knob to the front door. "I'll figure it out, don't worry about me." She smiled. "We'll talk soon, take care of yourself." And she was gone. Regina stood in the foyer, in a tank and loose sweats, her abdomen peaking out between the two articles. Normally she'd dress up for clients, put on a show, but Jade could care less, and asked she just be herself. So she did, no make up, ugly clothes, the whole ode to natural.

With a sigh, she made way back to her play room and cleaned up the remainder, standing and relishing in it for a while, then a certain blonde popped into her mind, and she couldn't help but picture her, all sucked up in her vacuum cube.

"No, bad. For. Business." She scolded, leaving the room and slamming the door shut.

 **Personally, humiliation isn't my favorite, but how great is Regina at it?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Holy shit, I'm doing awful things in this chapter and I'm sure I'll pay for it later. Enjoy, I love you all with every inch of my black heart! So I deleted this to change said awful thing, and now it's good!**

Regina woke to the immensely annoying ringing of her cell phone, she groaned as she moved to pick it up, an unknown number, calling her at.. 3 am?

"Regina Mills, this better be important." She snapped into the line.

"Uh, sorry, should I call back?" A sweet voice filled the line.

"Who is this?" She asked, intrigued.

"My name, no, I-I'm calling for the Evil Queen." She chuckled. Regina rolled her eyes, another client.

"I'm sure your call could have waited until morning, but now that I'm up.." Regina trailed off, the girl took it as cue to continue.

"I'm so sorry, I really didn't know it was that late, or I wouldn't have called, I was, well that doesn't really matter, but it was just.." She cleared her throat, "an impulsive decision, I can go, really, I'm sorry."

"No, there's no room for apologies, I'm already awake, what is this regarding?" She asked, sitting up, flicking on the light as she passed.

"I'd like to make arrangements to perform a scene with you." She said confidently.

"Is that right?" Regina questioned, she could tell the girl was young, but she knew her way around a conversation.

"Yes, would that be do-able?" She asked.

"Well first we would have to meet, it's important that we have a mutual trust and understanding before we even step foot in my.. lair." She called it.

"Oh, alright, let's do that then." The girl chirped.

"Okay, what is your schedule like?" Regina asked, moving to grab her day planner.

"Pretty hectic, how about you set a date and time, I'll make it work?" The girl bargained.

"I quite like you already!" Regina said, loving how agreeable she was.

"Why thank you, _Your Majesty."_ She iterated, Regina chuckled.

"Yes, dear, I believe we will get on quite well. I'm free tomorrow until 3, so say, 12:30? Unless that's too early, then another day perhaps." Regina offered.

"No, that's perfect, I never get much sleep, I guess that's what caffeine is for!" She laughed, Regina as well.

"Yes, I couldn't agree more. Shall I text you my address, I think you'd be more comfortable meeting where our scene would take place, I'm sure you agree, get a feel of the surroundings." Regina went on.

"Sounds great, I'll see you tomorrow, then." The girl said.

"I look forward to it." Regina said and then they both hung up. Regina glared at her phone, the girl sounded genuine, but she still liked her sleep and was ready to get back to it. After writing down her name and the time she'd arrive, the light was flipped off and Regina fell back into play of sleep as easily as she'd been taken from it.

Emma awoke the next morning in a daze, her stomach ached for a taste of food, as she'd skipped dinner in light of an early night. Making her way to the en suite, she brushed her hair and teeth to make herself presentable. Downstairs, she found to be void of any members of the family, which was a blessing and a curse. The curse being that she now had to scrounge up something to eat herself, which would surely end up in a mess she was already dreading cleaning up.

"Hey!" Henry greeted.

Emma jumped about two feet in the air as she turned to greet his smirking little face. "Jesus, you scared the hell out of me!" She accused, gripping her chest as it heaved. "We need to get you a bell."

"I'm not a cow, and a simple 'good morning' would have sufficed." He rolled his eyes and moved to the fridge, pulling out orange juice.

"Good morning," She countered. "Why are you up so early?" She asked.

"School, duh, some of us still have to go to that." He said as if it were blatantly clear.

"Oh, right, sucks for you." She stuck out her tongue as he glared, and grabbed them two glasses from the panty.

"Whatever, you'll be joining me soon enough, I heard my parents talking about it last night." He retorted, pouring them each a glass, only spilling a few drops.

Emma groaned, "I don't want to do school, it's so lame."

"Being a kid is lame, you're pretty much prisoners, school is the cell, home is recreation, and whatever fun you have is barely that."

"That's beautiful, Henry, you should quote it." Emma chuckled, sipping her juice.

"I try, that one was weak though, you should hear my argument's with Mom, she never wins so she just gets all red and tells me to go to my room. _Super_ funny if you ask me."

Emma nodded. "Yeah, your mom doesn't seem to argumentative, so I definitely see it."

"Well, I'm going to be late," He grabbed a Pop Tart from the pantry. "Walk me to the bus?" He asked.

"Sure." Emma shrugged, once in the mudroom she slipped into a pair of house slippers. Outside, the morning was cold and she had wished she'd grabbed a coat to throw over her cotton shorts and loose fitting tee.

"Cold?" He asked her.

"Yeah, I was not expecting this, it was blazing yesterday." Emma's teeth chittered.

"That's Philly!" He said. "Just wait until winter, you'll never want to leave bed." He said, she could tell he was serious. The sun was just beginning to rise as the fell into step down the sidewalk, street lights still glowed, though they didn't provide much light.

"I already don't want to do that." She grumbled. Emma looked up as she crossed her arms to provide warmth, she saw a crowd of kids, most around the same age as Henry, all wearing the same navy blue and red type uniform.

"That's my stop." He said, turning to her, he pulled her into a hug. "See you later, Emma." He called and ran off to meet his friends, who called him over with excited waves. Emma grinned at the moment they'd shared before turning back to the house, she ran back into the warmth.

When she closed the door behind her, she could hear someone in the kitchen, and smell the familiar aroma of coffee.

"Morning." She said, Mary Margret jumped, Emma laughed aloud as she had a similar reaction just minutes ago with Henry. "Sorry."

"It's okay, didn't expect you to be up yet." Mary Margret turned to finish off her brew. "Good morning, by the way." She said, pouring it into a to-go mug before adding cream and sugar. two of each. "Henry gone?" She asked.

"Yeah, I walked him to his stop." She informed, sitting up on the counter.

"I told him to let me take him, that boy has no patience." She scolded into her cup.

"I think he just likes to be independent." Emma shrugged.

Mary Margret looked at her sadly. "I know, I wish he would just let me be his mom for another couple of years, or forever, that would work, too."

Emma laughed. "He told me that you never win arguments with him, that true?"

Mary Margret groaned audibly. "Don't even get me started, I have no idea where he gets that, but he always has to have the last word. I absolutely hate it, he's lucky I send him to his room or I might just.." She made a strangling motion with her hands, Emma chuckled.

"That's great, but it's hard to imagine any conflict between you all, everything seems so perfect. You're like the Stepford.. Family."

Mary Margret let out a disbelieving laugh and shook her head. "No.. Quite the opposite, everyone has been on their best behavior recently because of you, give it a week, someone will blow up." Emma laughed, but still couldn't believe it. "Well, I gotta go." Snow said.

"Okay, should I open the door for you?" Emma said, taking one look at her armful of supplies and feeling it right to offer.

"Yes, please, and the car too if you don't mind?" Snow asked, heaving up all the books, and crafts that she could possibly need to teach a second grade class.

"Of course." Emma opened both doors, lingering by the one to the station wagon as the teacher slid in next to her things. Emma shut it hard, waving goodbye as Snow blew her a kiss before backing out of the garage, speeding down the road.

Emma headed back inside to eat, finally, she prepared an egg sandwich for herself, as David had already left, and James, while he couldn't eat one anyway, was at day care next door. Emma went to the small living room aside the kitchen, placing her food on the coffee table before falling in next to the pile of records that lay beneath the player.

Emma found one that looked good, it was by an artist called Heart, she put it on the spinner and waited for the sound to accumulate through. The song, which she later figured out to be called 'Dreamboat Annie', was wonderful, and she enjoyed the next track, 'Little Queen' even more. Emma ate and enjoyed the music, she played a few more and time seemed to fly by. She remembered Regina mentioning Van Halen, and when she found the record 1984, she played it, finding herself infatuated as the last track, titled the same as the album itself, rang through.

After her music binge came to an end, she looked to the time, 12:30, she gasped and ran upstairs to prepare herself for the day.

Her doorbell rang it's melodious tune, she'd always loved listening to it, it actually made visitors more fun. Regina, sporting a silky purple blouse and umber trousers, made her way to the door. Though she knew who was expected, she looked through the peep hole to see a young girl of average height with curly hair that spiraled up to chin length. Opening the door, she put on a refreshing smile.

"Hello," She purred.

"Hi, Regina, right?" The girl asked.

"Correct, come in." Regina said, ushering her within the apartment. The girl looked about before turning as Regina pushed the door shut, locking it. "How are you?" She asked.

"I'm well, aside from being tired as hell." She affirmed. "Sorry again for depriving you of sleep." She went on to apologize again.

"Already forgotten," Regina smiled reassurance, she dazzled back. "Please, let's sit." Regina motioned towards a red leather couch. They both moved to it and sat, a couple of feet distanced them. "Something to drink? Water, juice.." She listed.

"I'm great right now, thanks though." She said, her eyes wandered about the large and open room, modern in it's style with red and white accents. Large, floor to ceiling windows faced westward, though only the road and another complex were visible. "Your home is beautiful."

"Thank you, dear, I am quite fond of it. I can even begin to tell you how much stress it was to paint, let alone decorate. I did it alone, so you can imagine." She laughed and stood to make herself a drink. "Cider, I brew it myself, best I've ever had, but everyone is entitled to their opinions." Regina tilted her head, grabbing two tumblers.

"I'm not old enough to drink." The newcomer blushed.

"Has that ever stopped you before?" Regina raised a brow. "I'm not telling you to get wasted, but it'll take the edge off. Everything is fine in moderation." She said.

"You're right, in that case, I'd love a glass." She said, and turned back to her phone that vibrated in her pocket, she checked it then turned it off. Regina returned with the cider she'd promised, the girl took it gratefully before taking an awkward gulp, choking."Shit!" She coughed.

Regina pat her back in hopes of relieving her, but as soon as the girl finished coughing, she fell into laughter. Bleary eyed, she faced Regina, who then laughed just as hard.

"I'm sorry, I'm not so great at these things." She confided.

"Nothing to be sorry about, this is a judgement free household." Regina motioned with her hand around her home. "I don't believe you have told me your name?"

"Nice to know, because I'm certainly going to make a fool of myself at least ten more times." She laughed. "But yeah, I never told you, is it okay if I don't?"

"I don't think you are even capable, but if you say so, and yes, for now and only if I can rest assured you are not a murderer." Regina chuckled, sipping her cider before placing it on a black tile coaster upon the glass end table. The young lady laughed as though she couldn't believe her ears, then downed the rest of the drink, not even a wince this time around.

"So, you're going to have to guide me through this a bit, I've done my research, but now, it all seems useless as I can't seem to remember a lick of information." She set the glass down on a similar tile, crossing her legs. She wore denim shorts and a black v-neck, casual but it suited her as well as anything formal would.

"I do believe that's what I'm here for." Regina retorted, her sassy self unable to stay hidden for too long. "And, research?" She questioned.

"Yeah," The girl blushed. "I'm a geek, my friends say a know-it-all, but they're just jealous that I can actually retain information and use it at my leisure."

"A good quality, no wonder they envy you." Regina took hold of her drink once more, the glass had an icy sweat.

"I hope they don't, envy me, I mean. I like to think everyone an equal." She began, moving a lock behind her ear, which Regina saw was pierced.

Deciding she'd rather not waste any more time, she cut straight to the point. "Why are you here, dear?" She asked.

"Well," Her face grew red as raw. "Can you ask a less direct question?"

"Very well, though will assure you again this is a judgement free conversation, and relationship, but I also do not wish to make you uncomfortable in any way, I like that you are not afraid to voice it." Regina finished off the drink and set the glass down once more. "Do you enjoy pain?" She folded her hands.

"Yes." She breathed, not daring make eye contact with the beautifully intimidating woman.

"How much?" She went on. "On a one to ten scale. Ten being, say, knife play, one being, hmm, spanking."

The teen contemplated before answering. "7, though I do enjoy knife play, I'm hesitant to go all out and say ten." She replied.

"Fair enough, do you enjoy being humiliated?"

"No, hate it."

"Okay." Regina thought. "Discipline?" She went with.

"Give me an example, a scenario."

Regina inhaled before answering. "Alright, say we were in a scene, I asked you not to speak, but you do, so I would punish you by depraving you of all outside senses, sight, touch, smell, taste, all but your ability to hear, since my voice is low and husky, I can bring you to the edge with just that. But of course, this is punishment, so when I can feel you climaxing, I stop, and since your body will be at an increased temperature I will use ice or metal that had been in the freezer, and the sensations will be too much for your body, you'll be overwhelmed but not able to find release, which will be very frustrating, and in that is your punishment." Regina sighed. "That is only what came to mind, what we will do could be much different, or it could be similar, that's what we're trying to find out, once I stop talking." She chuckled.

"And you've, done that to people?" She asked, intrigued.

Regina nodded slowly. "Yes, a few times, it's very pleasurable to watch, any kind of stimulation, so many emotions are played out, it's very organic, like I'm witnessing the true soul of a person, it's truly breathtaking."

"Wow." She breathed, at a loss for words for the first time in a long time.

"Shall I go on?" At the girl's nod, Regina did so. "Do you know what sensory deprivation is?" Another nod. "I mentioned it in my hypothetical, yes. Well this, is far more intense than than, because I have a tank, it's soundproof, light proof. So, when filled with water of approximately 98 degrees, a body can float in there and just completely loose themselves. It's a very extreme form of meditation in my opinion, I've tried it, so I can vouch for it when I say that it makes you feel completely out of touch with your body. I was reluctant to try it because I enjoy control and this sounded like a scenario in which it would be completely ripped away from me, but no, I have never been more at peace in my life. It was a beautiful, emotionally draining experience, but I now float myself regularly, or whenever I just need to escape."

"Wow, I mean that sounds great, but what does it have to do with sex?" Her client questioned. Regina cringed internally, but laughed externally.

"Dear, whatever you know about BDSM, throw it out the window, because while sex is a key factor, it is far more than just that. It's also spiritual, or it can be with the right person, it's something that comes from within you, a place that you may not be comfortable going, and that's okay, because it hardly needs your consent." Regina chuckled to lighten the mood as she was becoming a bit intense for this young girl who was more vanilla than she'd originally been given the impression. "Is this too much?" She asked.

"A little, but I'm starting to understand now." She said slowly.

"Shall I go on, or do you wish to continue after you've had time to process?"

"No, go on, I'm fine." She reassured.

"Okay, stop me when you wish." Regina sighed. "Do you find domination to be a turn on?" Regina asked.

"To a point, I don't want to be hog tied or led around like a dog if that answers your question, I'd prefer at least some freedom with, not so much an upper hand, but more respect, you know?" She narrowed her eyes, to be sure Regina did.

"Yes, I have an idea where you're coming from. May I reiterate?" The girl nodded her consent. "So you wish to be ravished, but not in a way that I would be higher on the food chain, so to speak."

"Precisely." She said, glancing at the clock, nearly 90 minutes they'd been sitting there.

"And you're familiar with the term 'masochism'?" Asked Regina.

"I am, wait, does this make me a masochist?" She blurted.

"More yes than no, but do not think to limit yourself to this title, you can find pleasure in anything you like, and if in my power, I can assist you in your pursuit of it." Regina told her.

"Okay." She let out, she felt hot, she need to leave, she looked to Regina and was happy when her thoughts conveyed from her blue eyes.

"I hear you, it's fine. You have my number, and now we understand each other a bit better." Regina stood, taking her hand.

"Yes, thank you. I will be calling, I just need to process all this, it's much different than I thought, better even."

"I'm glad I could help, I look forward to your call, have a safe trip home, don't forget to sleep!" Regina said as she closed the door behind the girl. Secretly, she hoped she'd call, as she couldn't help but fantasize about all the possibilities. Though she's never admit it aloud, Regina was a terrible sadist, she loved it and any client who was interested in such, was a most enjoyable one in her book.

Regina cleared the area of discarded and empty glasses, dropping them in the sink with a loud clash, luckily nothing broke. It was after two, she was due to meet Emma soon. Rushing herself into the shower once more, as talking about the weaknesses of the girl had built up quite a sweat, she stripped before stepping under the cool stream.

Emma arrived about thirty minutes before she'd told Regina to meet her at the shop, which had an upstairs turned cafe bar, she decided to have a cup of tea and wait there. The teen took a seat by the window where she would have unlimited street view, making it all the easier to spot Regina when she was due to arrive.

Emma hadn't planned on being so early, but Mary Margret's insistence upon driving her didn't leave room for much argument, so here she was. Though the woman could be set in her way, Emma knew she meant well and only wanted what was best for her, so she agreed, and even got a bit of money out of it, the only reason she sat and drank the overpriced tea in that moment.

Five minuted till, Emma saw a familiar face, she smiled and could feel her heart beat pick up the pace as the sultry woman strode into the shop, oozing confidence. Emma jumped up, her royal purple leggings and feather gray sweater allowed for full functionality and she twisted out of the impossible seat. Regina was weaving in and out of shelves when she snuck up behind her.

"Hello," Emma sang. Regina turned with a bitter face before grinning at the girl.

"Miss Swan," She began, cut off.

"Ew, you're not going to serve me are you?" Emma joked.

"Why, have you done something deserving of such?" Regina countered.

"Not that I can remember, but who knows what I do in my sleep!" Emma said. "Come on, I left my tea upstairs." She grabbed the brunette's hand and pulled her upstairs to where her drink sat, still steaming.

Regina's lungs must have forgotten how to function, because when Emma took her hand, she couldn't find it in her abilities to breath. She took a seat across from the blonde as a barista came to take the newcomer's order. A latte that was spiked with a bit of rum, cafe bars had their perks after all, once you got past the ridiculous names and prices.

"How was your day?" Emma asked, toying with her lid. Regina watched as her bony finger played on and off the carb, amused with how the steam would stop an go with it.

"It was, nice, I had a visitor, we had a talk and then I came here." Regina told.

"Oh, how mysterious, was it a boyfriend?" Regina shook her head as well as made a face. "Girlfriend?" Emma pressed, hoping that it could be.

"No, and I hardly think this is appropriate conversation for us to be having!" Regina whispered, remember that what she was doing was against some kind of code, she was sure of it.

"What is appropriate conversation, then, because my filter is down to zero." Emma admitted.

"Well, we could talk about school?" Regina began, feeling incredibly old.

"I haven't started yet, there were," Emma bit her lip, Regina had to look away. "Complications, to say the least."

"Do you wish to elaborate?" She went on.

Emma sipped her tea and sighed, Regina could smell the chai when she did so, along with a hint of spearmint toothpaste. "Theywanttoadoptme." She blurted.

"What?" The woman asked.

Emma groaned. "I said they want to adopt me."She repeated.

"Well, that's great, isn't it? They could provide stability and, love." She said slowly, the word never sounding right coming out of her mouth.

"Ugh I know, and it's gross! They are so perfect and I know I should be happy, but I'm not, we're nothing alike, I don't fit in." Emma sat back.

"Why wouldn't you fit in? Do they make you uncomfortable?"

"No, yes. Ugh! I don't know, there's just something going on."

"Like.." Regina urged.

"Like.." The brunette raised a perfectly arched brow at that. "I don't know! Don't do that!"

"Do what, dear?" She rose her brow once more.

"That! You're just mocking me now, and you know it takes two to tango!" She mimicked the expression, they stayed that way until Emma broke.

"Hm, seems you need some dancing lessons." Regina said as her drink was placed on the table. "Thank you."

"Mhm." The barista smiled.

"Do you know how to dance?" Emma asked.

Regina tilted her head in a so-so motion. "I can if matter's require, but if not then I prefer to just watch. Can you?"

"Ha! No." Emma shook her head, spinning the paper cup. "I have, as they say, two left feet."

"Who's they?" Regina asked, looking around, pointing to a couple of hipsters. "Them?"

Emma laughed, the brunette couldn't help but to fall in love with the sound. "No like they," she motioned around without aim. "Like society, _they_." She whispered the last 'they'.

"I see, are _they_ watching?" Regina asked.

Emma leaned closer, Regina too, their faces almost touched, but not quite. "Yes, always." Emma breathed. "But, they watch everyone and we're just two out of hmm 650 million people in America, so I doubt they care much." She said, leaning back as she popped the 'b' in 'but'.

"Why wouldn't _they_ care, I think we are quite wonderful." Regina said, shaking her hair away from her eyes where it had fallen.

"Well of course we are, but they aren't going to take the time to get to know us as the wonderful beings we are. So, we get the pleasure all to ourselves." Emma hummed.

"Then I suppose we're the lucky ones." Regina smirked.

"I would suppose we are." The two stared at one another once more, it was far too long to be any kind of friendly. Regina took notice and looked to the street where she saw a few birds pecking popcorn off the sidewalk.

"Pigeons!" She said far too excitedly, her voice cracked a bit.

Emma laughed at the slip, but didn't mention it. "Ooh, more birds I know little about, way to rub it in!" She accused.

"Well, once you enroll in classes you could take a course on ornithology!" Regina countered.

"Sounds boring, I don't think I'll be needing birdology in the real world." Emma said the term in hoped of aggravating the literate woman.

"Ornithology." She muttered. "A who care if it's useful, you could be like me, and just haplessly spitfire bird facts, sound like you _really_ know what the hell you're talking about." She winked over her cup. Emma flushed and glared back at the birds as they flew away with the arrival of a new human, just to flock right back once they'd passed.

"Last time I saw you, you said you had a reason for not liking control being taken away from you, can I ask why?" She asked.

Regina felt her rage building, no, her fear. "Please don't ask me that again, Emma." She demanded, her long nails digging into the cup, effectively tearing it, spilling it's contents.

"Oh! I'm so sorry." Emma covered and ran to get napkins. When she returned, she soaked up the spill, she could smell the rum. "I'm sorry."

"Stop!" Regina cried, her breathing picked up and she felt about to burst. "I have to, I have to go!" She said, pushing the chair back with a screech as she stood, she ran down the stairs nearly falling each time. The population of the shop stared, Emma began to run after her.

"Don't you have something else to do, mind your own business!" She yelled, racing to find Regina, who was outside, sitting against the wall with her head in her knees, weeping. No, sobbing. "Regina." Emma whispered, sitting beside her, so close that the heat they radiated became one. "I'm sorry."

"No. I should have controlled myself, I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be the adult here." She scolded herself.

Emma pressed her lips together and placed a hand on the woman's knee. "Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you should hide your emotions, it's cool to cry, I don't mind." Emma said, her hand squeezing around the bone. Regina was glad she could blame the red tint to her cheeks on the tears, or else it'd be too blatantly clear what she really felt.

"You don't think I'm weak."

Emma laughed coldly. "Weak? No way, this just shows me you're stronger. I mean, obviously you've been through some shit, and you're still here, helping me go through _my_ shit. You're amazing, and far from weak." Emma let her hand fall to her side.

"Can I hug you?" Regina asked, needing a bit of comfort and hoping she wouldn't say no.

"Of course, though it's a bit weird you asked." Emma laughed as she was pulled into an embrace by the woman, who smelled of Chanel and apples. Regina choked as she tried to fight the tears. "You can cry." Emma whispered, and she did, for about three minutes.

"Emma?" She asked weakly into blonde locks.

"Mhm." Emma said, muffled by her blazer clad shoulder.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"You don't have to thank me for being there for you, it's my pleasure." Emma said as they stood. Regina didn't know what to say, so she nodded. "You have a smudge." Emma laughed.

"Where?" Regina's hands flew to here face, Emma lightly pulled them down.

"Here." She licked her thumb before wiping her cheek clear of mascara. "Water proof doesn't mean shit anymore." She laughed.

Regina opened her mouth and closed it a few time. "Do you need a ride?" She went for.

"I can take the bus." Emma shrugged.

"No." Regina said, a bit too protectively."I mean, it's gross and I wouldn't even ride it myself."

"You are a bit more refined than I, clearly." Emma laughed.

"Whether that be the case or not is up to you, but I am giving you a ride, and you will like it.

"Okay." Emma looked up to see a large bird fly over head. "Raven?" She asked. Regina looked up and nodded with a grin.

"Seems as if I'm rubbing off on you." She said, ushering the girl across the street to where her Mercedes awaited.

 **I can not sleep, so I put my time to good use. Thank god it's the weekend!**


	7. Chapter 7

**In light of this becoming my most popular work, another update before I am forced to go back to my weekly priorities. God, I hate responsibility! Dammit, I just smudged my make up, where's Emma when I need her?**

Emma leant into the supple leather seats as they pulled to a stop due to another red light, they'd hit every single one yet without fail. The car was beginning to feel stuffy, so she rolled the window down and inhaled the smoggy city air. Emma had a strange intoxication with the smell of gasoline, and with it hinting in the breeze, she took a deeper breath and let it out rather dramatically. Regina smiled to herself at the girl's adorable behavior, she looked over to her, she was leaning on her crooked elbow out the window with her eyes shut in peaceful content.

Emma could feel eyes on her, but didn't dare peak to see if it was the pair she'd hoped, in fear of either outcome. When she did open her eyes, they were crawling along the asphalt, pedestrians making better time than they, not that Emma was in any hurry to return to the Nolan's. Emma sighed internally as she thought of going back, while she was grateful of them, and didn't know where she'd be without their undeterred kindness, they were suffocating her with all this.. compassion. Emma was unfamiliar with it, and though she was still young and impressionable, she wasn't sure she wanted their loving footprints to stain her virtues.

"Are you okay?" Regina asked, she could feel the girl eating away at herself. Emma took this time to glance at her, she wasn't looking at her now, as traffic was moving quickly, so she kept her eyes on the road. People were truly awful driver's, so Emma didn't take it as disrespect.

"Yeah." She said, leaving it open to further questioning, as she knew she wouldn't have a choice either way.

"Don't say yes unless you mean it, I thought we were past this." Regina laughed, remembering her sob-fest a short time ago. "Tell me." She urged.

"Well, I really don't want to go back there yet." She said, a hint of bitterness laced her words.

"Oh," Regina chirped. "Well I wouldn't feel comfortable taking you anywhere else, not unless I knew you'd be looked after."

"I know, that's why I didn't say anything in the first place." Emma laughed with little depth. "It's okay, I'm just being sour, it just sucks that I'm finally in the world and I can't even enjoy it." She said, taking her place back on her arm as the window whisked through her hair.

Regina breathed in the sight, Emma was truly a wonder, but her eyes were quickly torn back to the slowly moving traffic as another horn sounded. "What would you like to do?"

Emma squinted in thought before a little light appeared in her eyes. "I want to swim." She said whimsically.

Regina grinned, and mulled over her options. "I think we can arrange that." She said, making a sharp turn, not caring about the curses and honks sent her way.

"Really?" Emma asked, perking up.

"Do you take me as the kind of woman to say something I do not mean?" She countered.

Emma grinned, baby-wide, gummy. "I certainly hope not."

Regina smirked right back down at her before heading to Devil's Pool, a natural hole that she frequented when around Emma's age. "I hope you don't mind a chill."

"Not at all." Emma agreed, before turning her head out the window so Regina wouldn't bear witness to her intense smile. "Mind if I turn on the radio?"

"Not at all." Regina repeated, Emma switched it on, but upon finding nothing of intrest, Regina offered her her IPod, decked out with thousands of song.

"Thanks, I hate radio, it used to be my only entertainment, but now that I have a taste of the good life, I can't go back." Emma said, scrolling through the artists. "Oh, yes!" She said. "I heard this song earlier today, it reminds me of you." She said as Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap blasted.

Regina's heart warmed at that, she loved that song, and had been listening to it on thar way over to meet the girl. "I love that song," She said once it faded out.

"Me too." Emma said, taking the device and quickly pressing play on a new tune. "And this one, you have awesome taste!" She said, the song Foxy, Foxy by Rob Zombie was soon music to their ears. The brunette was impressed with the girl's choices, many of what she chose on the way over were of Regina's personal preferences.

"Ready?" Regina asked as they pulled into a lightly forested lot, void of cars as it was too cold for most people, not Emma though.

"Regina. I was born ready." She deadpanned, hopping out of car with little grace as she slammed the door and relished in the fresh environment. Emma squealed when she spotted the rise of about 30 foot, and turned to Regina to beam before running up to it. Regina leant against the hood of her car as Emma made her way to the top. "Come on!" She called.

Regina pointed to herself as if there was anyone else the blonde could be talking to, before glancing around to prove the point.

"Yes, you! Get up here!" The girl laughed and tried to use hand motions to call over the woman. "Please!"

"I prefer to remain dry, you go ahead dear!" She called back.

Emma waited a moment, in shock before yelling out. "Pussy!"

Regina placed a hand over her heart feigning hurt. "I am most certainly not!"

"Prove it!" Emma challenged, Regina growled before strutting over, and less gracefully, making her way up the rocks. Cursing when she ripped her hosiery, she made it up with little incident and stood with her arms crossed aside the girl.

"Well, you got your wish, what do expect to do with it?" She asked. Emma grinned impishly before nearing the edge and peering over, dangerously close to falling, Regina instinctively grabbed her wrist. Emma looked back at the hand that grasped her and stared at it a moment before moving her eyes to Regina, who looked down as soon as she did the opposite, and then let go. Emma missed the warmth as soon as it had gone, but stepped back from the edge, taking in her surroundings once more before letting out a large sigh.

"Okay I'm ready." She announced.

"Excellent, hopefully we can make our way down without breaking anything." Regina agreed and began to leave. It was Emma's turn to grab her as she shook her head and looked to the cliff leading down to the water. "No." Regina rejected.

"Yes." Emma deadpanned. "Climbing up here doesn't make you any less of a pussy, jumping will prove the point."

"Who says I have a point to prove?" Regina questioned, crossing her arms and leaning into her hip.

"Would you have came all the way up here if you didn't?" Emma threw. Regina scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I know I'm right." Emma said, removing her leggings.

"Woe, what are you doing?" Regina asked, looking away before the article could be completely peeled away.

"Well, obviously I'm not going to jump in with all my clothes on." Emma stated, kicking off her shoes and stripping herself of the material, leaving her in a pair of red and yellow striped boy shorts. Next was her sweater, once it was disregarded she was left in a padded orange bra, her breasts weren't large or small, but had a lovely shape.

"Uh," Regina said as the girl crossed her arms and mimicked her stance.

"Do you want me to look away?" Emma asked, and turned.

"Alright, fuck it." Regina tossed, slapping her thighs before stripping herself over her outerwear, now left in a matching pare of lacy pink garments.

"Even half naked you make me feel sorely underdressed." Emma laughed and extended her hand. "Together?" She asked. Regina regarded her offering and took it willingly.

"Together." She breathed, Emma was grinning up at her, then down at the drop.

"Count to three." The teen stated, "1,2,3" And they jumped. Regina squealed and pinched her eyes shut, Emma kept her eyes on the woman as they descended down into the water, mesmerized. They slapped down into the icy water, both letting out a cry as the first toe dipped. They surfaced, make up ran slowly down each other their slick faces as they faced one another and laughed. After the adrenaline wore off they sat and waded, Emma began to chatter.

"I have a confession," She said. Regina's eyes narrowed for answer. "I can't swim." She chuckled.

The brunette looked alarmed and gripped the blonde's hand a bit tighter, pulling her closer. Emma found herself inches away from the brunette, breath hitched as they searched the opposing pools for a sign that what they felt was wrong, none. Regina took a sharp breath and leaned in slightly, then pulled back, Emma's eyes fell to her lips before quickly leaving the danger zone and gazing back into her gates. The blonde leaned in as Regina pulled back with a gasp.

"We should, go, the sun has set, and I'm afraid there are snakes." She whispered half heartedly. Emma looked dejected but nodded and let Regina pull her to the surface. After traveling back up the incline and back down once dressed, they sat, their hair dripping, back in the sports car.

"Thank you." Emma said once they pulled out into the road. "For not letting me drown."

"That would certainly be bad for business, though I wished you would have mentioned it beforehand." She said offhandedly.

"Would you still have gone?" Emma asked. Regina moved her head to the side in a 'touché' motive. "I'm glad you did."

"Me, too." Regina told her, the truth being she was incredibly afraid of heights, for as long as she could remember, but at the time she felt fearless. Regina realized she'd felt such bravery for Emma. They rode in silence for the majority, only speaking to point out random bird or such things.

"Stop here." Emma said as they neared the turn off into her round off. Regina did so and the girl pushed open the door, stopping to face Regina before she jumped out. "Will I see you soon?" She asked.

"I would assume so." Regina said as if it were obvious.

"Good," Emma gave a relieved chuckle. "I'd probably lose my mind if you said no." She said and slammed the door, turning back after a few paces to wave shyly. Regina returned it and pulled away, trying not to read too far into what was happening between the two, because once she did, there would be no more denying it. She was falling for Emma Swan, like never before.

Emma opened to door to the garage, which was always open when someone was home, and stepped into the mudroom. Henry walked past, eating a sandwich, but stopping dead when he saw her.

He smirked. "You're in _so_ much trouble. Mom!" He yelled, and Emma felt her pace pick up.

"What, Henry!" Mary Margret said irritably before she appeared in the threshold. "Emma!" She said surprised before her face contorted. "Where have you been? We've been looking everywhere for you!" She raised her voice.

Emma stood shocked, her hair still dripping as she was pulled into the den by a surprisingly strong Snow. "Uh,"

"I went to the shop to get you after you did't come home, and they said you left with some woman! Who were you with? Do you think you can just do whatever you want without consulting me? Answer me!" She scolded.

"No, what! Stop yelling at me, Fuck!" Emma said, covering her mouth.

"Language! There are children present," She shot daggers to Henry, who skid into the kitchen before he could be pulled into the conflict somehow. "Emma, you are not an adult, you can not just run off and meet _women!"_ She chided in a lower tone.

"And you're not the boss of me! I'm fine, and I was safe, chill!" Emma huffed.

"I beg to differ, you live under _my_ roof and you will abide by my rules! Who you were with has no meaning to me, you had us thinking that, that you'd been kidnapped or worse!"

"Well, ugh!" Emma groaned, she didn't know how to argue this without getting confrontational, and Mary Margret just seemed concerned, "I'm sorry, okay? I won't do it again." She grumbled.

"Okay, but I'm going to have to ground you, David will make sure it's enforced." Mary Margret said, relaxing, her pale complexion returning. "And you will be starting school Monday, you have meeting with the principal tomorrow."

Emma groaned and nodded. "Okay." She agreed.

"Now," Mary Margret chirped. "Are you hungry?" She asked,

Emma smiled, come to think of it, she was famished. "Yes, starved."

"Then let's eat, I made dumplings!" She said, taking Emma's hand, leading her into the dining room where Henry sat, finishing off his sandwich and tapping away at a GameBoy. Emma took her seat across from him, he glared at her before going back to his game. Emma scrunched her face at his unusual petulance.

"Why's your hair wet?" He asked without looking up again.

"I went swimming." She said, flipping a strand behind her back.

"Cool." He said, uninterested as his mother came and placed plates in front of them. "Thanks."

"Thank you." Emma said and dug in mercilessly, she was asking for seconds within five minutes. Snow happily served her and Henry before watching him run off without even excusing himself. She glared his way then took his plate to the sink. "What's with him?"

With a scoff she shook her head. "Beats me, he must have had a bad day at school. I'm sure he'll be over it tomorrow." Emma nodded. "So, where did you run off to?"

She looked at her resistantly before moving to wash her dish and Henry's. "I ran through some sprinklers on the way over here."

"Huh." Was all she said, Emma knew she wasn't buying it. "And this woman?"

Emma but her tongue, she couldn't tell Mary Margret she was out all day with Regina, not without it raising questions she didn't want to answer. "A friend I met at the coffee shop, we both reached for the same book, got to talking, and then went for a walk to get a bit of fresh air." Emma lied, but it was convincing this time around.

"That's odd." She said.

"What is?"

"The girl on duty told me, _you_ ran up to this woman and pulled her up the stairs to sit with you." Emma swallowed. "Why would she lie?"

"Uh," She stammered. "I should go shower, really smelly, all that walking, thanks for dinner!" Emma tried and started to run off.

"Oh no you don't." David said, appearing in the doorway, she rammed into his chest, but he didn't flinch. "Sit down." Emma choked and did so, the couple following in suit. They sat interrogation style across from each other, which wasn't helping the girl's case one bit.

"I think it's time you told us the truth." Snow said. "We're not mad, we just don't want you to get hurt."

Emma groaned. "Okay, I was with Regina." She said, figuring that lying again would get her nowhere fast.

"Why didn't you just tell me that in the first place?" Snow asked, her face relaxed, now with the conformation that Emma was in good hands.

"Because, I don't know, I don't want you guys to think I'm messed up and need therapy, but talking to her helps." Emma confided, not lying, but avoiding the direct truth. "She's the only person that makes me feel normal, she makes sense."

"Oh, honey, we don't think you're messed up, it's wonderful that Regina helps you, that's what she's there for, you shouldn't hold shame to wanting her help." Mary Margret took her hands and held them together. Emma stared at the conjoined limbs, anywhere was better than into the pleading and overly caring eyes of the woman who held her.

"Okay, I'm sorry, for lying." Emma said as Snow released her, her hands fell back into her lap where they fidgeted.

"It's okay, you told us the truth in the end, that's all that matters." David said, she gave him a weak uplift of her lips. "Now, we have something else we need to talk to you about." He said, he and Emma shared a knowing look as she sighed.

"Okay," She urged, wanting to get this conversation over with as soon as humanly possible. Mary Margret pulled a file out from, who-knows-where under the table and pushed them toward's the blonde who raised her brow, trying to hide her knowledge.

"Open it." Snow urged. Emma did so, pulling out the adoption papers and reading over them. "So," She said. "What do you say? Do you want to become part of our family?"

"This is, wow, of course." Emma smiled, Snow then stood and hugged her way too tight. "Don't suffocate me before it's even official!" She laughed.

"Right, sorry." Snow clapped. "Yay! Oh, since we knew you'd say yes, we got you something." Emma and David laughed as Snow came back with a box. "Since you're grounded, you can only take it to school for the next two weeks, but I hope you like it." Emma pulled out a new Galaxy S5 in navy and smiled wide at the gift.

"Wow, thank you so much." She turned it in her hands, before placing it on the table and pulling the couple into the hug.

"Now you'll have no excuses but to tell us where you're going." Snow pressed as she placed the device back in it's bag and took it to hide.

Emma rolled her eyes playfully. "I was serious about needing a shower though, do you mind if I retire?" She asked.

"Not at all," David said and she turned to leave. "I'm going to be waking you up early to go to school for scheduling." He called.

"Gross!" Emma called back, he laughed and let her go upstairs.

Emma stepped into the bathroom and stripped herself of sticky clothes, tossing them onto her pile she'd created the days she'd lived here, followed by still damp under garments. Stepping under a piping hot bulleted stream, she finally relaxed and let out a satisfied breath that'd been building up inside of her since she stepped foot into the house. Suddenly it dawned on her, this was her house now, her family, she was caught between tears of joy and fear. This was what she'd always wanted, a real family that loves and treats her right, but why couldn't she toss the overwhelming feeling that all over her freedom was going to be obliterated?

"Just be happy." She told herself, over and over, until the words no longer sounded like such, and she had no choice but to believe it.

The next morning, David burst his way in and opened the window, the bright morning light invading the once dark room. Emma groaned as she smelt the fresh air, it was revolting.

"Wakey, wakey, sunshine!' He clapped and tipped her mattress so she tumbled off of it in a heap of blankets.

"Ouch!" She said as her breath managed to escape a bit, but not all. "I was awake before you so rudely ejected me, thank you very much." She sat up and huffed, her waves blocking her view.

"I know, but this is more fun, and look at that! You're already out of bed!" He smiled, she shot daggers his way, but he couldn't tell through her hair. "Chop, chop, thirty minutes to departure." He said, slapping the wall in between syllables, then exiting the room with a slam of the white wood door.

Emma groveled a moment before standing too quickly, she fell against her dresser lightheaded before taking out a pair of black, four button jeans and a beige tank with silky flowers threaded in before pulling them on with as much poise as a hobble footed duck with scoliosis. After brushing through her matted hair, she pulled it into a tight braid, grabbing a green plaid flannel that hung on her door, she left the room, thumping down the stairs.

"Good morning, sunshine!" David cheered.

"Are you doing this to annoy me?" She asked, taking a glass of orange juice that bewaited her on the counter.

"Of course, no one is this cheery." He chuckled and took a long pull of his coffee. "Aah! Ready?" He asked.

"As I'll ever be." She mumbled.

"Chin up, Ems, you'll love it." He told before packing them into his truck, the first time she'd seen it since the first night they'd met, not too long ago. It took a good five minutes before they pulled into the vast and empty lot of a high school, it looked similar to the elementary only with three stories and a tripled area, plus no playground. "Here we are." He offed the engine.

Emma stepped out into the morning that was beginning lose it's bitter chill, and followed him into the double doors, which opened into a large quad area with trees and wooden benches scattered about. They moved to an elevator which took them to the third floor, the halls were lined with dark green and white lockers, which set off the dark cherry wood floors, and matched the doors. David led her to the very last door that read 'Principal Nolan' he didn't even knock and barged right in.

"Davy Jones!" Said a kind looking blonde woman, wearing a beige pantsuit, pastel pink blouse, and heels, though Emma couldn't see them, she heard them when she stood to hug her kin over the desk. "This must be Emma." She smiled and Emma extended her hand, which the woman took and pulled her into a hug. "No formalities, we're family!" Emma smiled wide at her, she liked this woman already. "But not during school, then I'm Big Bad Principal Nolan, sit." She urged, and did so herself. "What grade are you in?"

"Well I haven't gone to school since fifth, but I have books for the years I missed, I'm pretty much up to speed on all subjects up until 1oth grade, which is what I was studying when I.. moved." She said.

"So you're looking to enroll in the sophomore class?" Katherine questioned.

"Yeah, I suppose." She replied.

"Awesome, I have a girl who just enrolled earlier today in tenth grade, maybe you two can show each other around I can place you in classes together." She suggested.

"Uh, is she nice?" Emma asked. "And you can do that?"

"Yes, she's very sweet, her mother is a bit eccentric, but genuine. And of course, dear, I can do whatever I want." She winked and Emma laughed.

"Okay, yeah." She agreed.

"Great," Ms. Nolan did some clacking on her computer before turning to Emma agin. "What electives were you looking to do?"

"I don't know, what is there?" Emma asked, Katherine, as her desk labeled her, handed her a purple packet.

"These are all of them, you get two, I'm assuming you don't want regular physical education, so I'll wave it if you choose one of the outdoor activities."

Emma read through the outdoor activities, but only one sounded appealing to her. "Archery." She said, Katherine smiled and entered it.

"And, you can choose one more from the column on the left." She said and tapped it with a French-tipped nail.

Emma read through the next, some sounded enjoyable, but she decided on something she knew she could do. "Eh, Ill do library aide."

"Awesome, now there will be no excuse for missing homework!"

"You know this is funny, you picked the same classes as the girl from earlier, and I don't even have to adjust your classes, you have all but two classes together." Katherine explained.

"Sounds like fate wants us to be friends." Emma laughed, she couldn't wait to meet this girl, and she clearly would, five times a day.

"Sounds like it!" Katherine said as the printer began to hum and whir with expectance of a new sheet. "Your schedule, milady." She said and placed the purple sheet in her grasp.

"Thanks." Emma smiled and scanned over it.

1\. Archery

2\. English & Literature

3\. Chemistry

4\. Geometry

5\. U.S. Government

6\. Library Aide.

The girl nodded her approval, they sounded fun, fun for school that is, then looked up to her new principal, who gave a thumbs up, which she returned.

"Excellent, should we do lunch? I'm so damn hungry, I've been here forever." She groaned and threw her bag over her shoulder with the flip of her hair.

"It's only 10:00 a.m. Kat." David announced.

"Too long, let's go, my treat, I'll even drive." She threw, the pair following her down to where her Cadillac awaited, as if they had a choice.

 **I hope my use of tenth grade courses are correct, if not, oh well, don't butcher me! I'll more than likely update within the week, so enjoy until then! I also made up a word in here, because I can, maybe you noticed, maybe not. (;**


	8. Chapter 8

**Wow, I am back! Life is crazy right now, I'm procrastinating other things for this, thank the stars. Enjoy!**

The following Monday Emma'd woken to that annoying twist of butterflies in her stomach. School, just when life was working in her favor, the public school system swept her off her feet and into it's Pin-Sol scented corridors.

"Emma?" A knock on the door pulled her from her half-dream haze. It was David.

"Yeah?" She called groggily.

"You have an hour, then we out." He said, she furrowed her brows at his choice of words.

"Uh, okay." She mumbled, and slowly pushed her heavy body off the bed. She'd made sure to shower the night before, not wanting to go through the burden of blow drying or excess work this morning, and she couldn't be happier. Her blonde locks were intricately weaved into two french braids, she chose to go light on the make-up, since she was not too familiar with the concept to begin with, and decided on a light shimmer eyeshadow with a nice ratio of mascara. Happy with her face, she stripped herself of sleepwear and slipped on a black bra before cladding the fitting navy maxi dress with long sleeves she'd chosen just for this occasion.

After packing all her supplies into the white backpack laying by her dresser, she threw on the gray pair of converse she'd become quite fond of, and slipped out of the room. The smell of coffee and something sweet filled the downstairs area, and she found herself in the kitchen before she was even fully processing this new realm of 'awake in the morning.'

"Good morning, sunshine!" David smiled, sipping his travel mug. "Something to eat?"

Emma grunted. "Yes, please. What is this?" She flicked a hard pastry.

"I have no idea, Mary Margret's idea of a proper breakfast on the go, I'm guessing." He shrugged. "There's also strudel, apple and cherry."

"Oh, yes, please. Where?" Emma asked, now fully awake at the mention of the treat. He pointed to a black box sitting by the stove. Emma fished out a cherry and bit into it. "I really like strudel." She explained, taking another.

"I see, ready to go?" He laughed.

"Yeah, where's Henry?"

"Mary Margret will get him up, they start an hour and a half after you."

"Wow, that is so rude." Emma scoffed jokingly. The pair piled into the truck, it was brisk out, a low fog settled over the residential lawns and the sun was just barely making it's appearance. "Why is it so early?" Emma groaned.

"Time zones, we live in this one, when it's late somewhere it's early here."

"I don't like that answer." Emma hid a smile.

"Me either, but it's all I got." David replied. "Nervous?"

"A little," Emma said sheepishly. "I mean it's going to be weird being around kids my age, what do I even talk about, boys? Drugs? I just don't know."

"Just be yourself, I'm sure there will be someone just as lost as you." He said, pulling into the school once more, only this time the lot was a little more than empty. "Have a good day, call me if you need me." He smiled.

"Ahh!" Emma breathed, she sent him a warm grin as she hopped out of the car. "I will, you too, bye." She waved, he blew her a kiss, she just laughed.

The sun was almost up as she sat on a lone bench under a sizable pine. It was still cold, she'd wished now more than ever she'd brought a sweater or something. Emma pulled out her phone and began flipping through it, trying to look like she had a clue. She came across Regina's number in her contacts, and as she was debating whether texting her was a good idea or not, the bell sounded, and her phone was slipped back into the folds of her pack.

Archery was her first class, it was located in a small room on the East side of the gymnasium. The teacher looked quite extravagent, with his pink and red flannel, black biker jeans, and long gray ponytail, Emma couldn't wait to hear him talk.

"Alright, my name is Dr. Silver, I know you know that, but we got two new kids who don't know that, now they do. Stand up, if you're new." Emma did awkwardly, so did another girl across the room, they made eye contact for a pretty long time before either made notion to wave, which the dark haired girl did first. "Alright, there you go. Lily and Emma." He pointed to them respectively and motioned to sit down.

Throughout the period Emma and Lily made, rather intense eye contact, which was uncofortable on Emma's behalf as she only wanted to look once more without the other party noticing, but she did. Every time. The bell rang, and any other information spat out by the Silver, as they called him, was less than retained.

"Hey," Emma heard a soft voice behind her. "Emma, yeah?" It was Lily, she was prettier up close, with her dark features, clad in a blue halter top, olive jeans, and a black pea coat, she was quite gorgeous.

"Uh, yeah, I, yeah. New." Emma stuttered, using her hands to show she was Emma, and new.

Lily beamed. "I see, what's your next period?" She asked, Emma showed her the school issued itinerary. "Ooh yay! We have everything but fifth and sixth together, now I have a friend."

"Ah!" Was all Emma said. "Sorry, I am bad a words."

"It's okay, I'm sure I can talk enough for the two of us!" Lily laughed, she hooked her arm through Emma's, who was quite enjoying the warmth in the still cold morning. "So where you from?"

"Here, just I was homeschooled before, now I am not." Emma explained. "You?"

"I see, and I'm from this place in Maine, I doubt you'd know it, it's one of those 'best-kept-secret' kind of deals."

"How mysterious." Emma wiggled her brows. "Why'd you move?"

"My mom, she's weird, can't really explain, maybe you'll meet her one day, it'll all be clear then." She laughed. "Do you know where we're going?"

Emma looked around to see they were the last of the straggling students, the late bell rang and they both laughed. "What now?" Emma asked.

"Okay so, room 507, we were, wait where were we? Okay this is a mess, let's just sit, who needs literature." Lily shrugged and they took a secluded bench, hidden by trees.

"I don't think this is allowed." Emma looked around.

"We can just say we got lost, or something, it's our first day what are they going to do?"

"Eh, I don't know, the principal kind of knows my family, I don't want her giving them intel, about my, uh insolence."

"You're funny." Lily laughed, throwing her head back to stare at the sky.

"What? Thanks?" Emma let out.

"What's your zodiac sign?" Lily asked.

"What? I don't know, I never followed." Emma admitted.

"Birthday?"

"October 9."

"Ooh, a Libra, I knew it!" Lily clapped. "I never guess it right, but with you I just knew. I'm a Leo, that's my sun, Aries is my moon, my rising is Cancer."

"What does that mean?" Emma laughed.

"Oh God, I have so much to teach you, okay, what time were you born exactly?"

"I don't even know, I'd have to look at my birth certificate."

"Okay, well, here-" She took out her phone, handing it to Emma. "Put your number in, text me when you find out and then we can nerd out on this, I will convert you if it is the last thing I do." She said in mock-seriousness.

"Wait, here I don't know my number yet, put yours in." Emma handed her the phone, the girl typed in a few swift digits then took an avatar before handing it back.

"There, now you have a lovely picture of yours truly." She put her hand under her chin to show just who she was talking about.

"Thank you. So, tell me more about this zodiac world," Emma said, and the girl took a deep inhale before yammering away until the bell.

The day went by qucikly, with Lily's company for most of it, and then two periods of actual learning at the end, it was all around a pretty good day. The girl's had decided to walk home together, Lily living just behind the elementary school that Emma had found Mary Margret at. They were meeting by the big tree by the football field, the one with the tire swing. Lily was leaning against it, one purple booted foot stuck to the bark for balance. She beamed at Emma as she approached with a dramatic wave.

"Hey, how were your lame classes without me?" Lily called once Emma was a few yards away.

"Probably just as lame as yours without me!" Emma retorted. "Shall we?"

"We shall." Lily said, strutting out a bit as they walked side by side. "So,"

"So," Emma drew out.

"This dumb boy invited us to a party, this weekend, you down?"

"Uh, what, no what?" Emma stuttered, how had Lily managed that? Emma hadn't spoken to a soul the last two classes, aside from teachers.

"Party, yes, weekend, yes." Lily iterated.

"I don't know my," She hesitated. "parents, wouldn't be happy about that, plus I've never been to one."

"What! Well, my stars then you have to go! Everyone needs to go to a stupid high school party at least once." Lily said as if it were the most important thing ever.

"Have you?"

"Yeah, last year but someone spilt a drink on me, so I cried and my mom had to pick me up." She laughed at the memory.

"Oh, charming." Emma chortled, she could see it now.

"But yeah, so you have to go, and I'll be there, so it'll be like hanging out, but with a bunch of other people. And I would love to hang out with you." Lily persuaded.

"Um, I mean, yeah. But what about my.. parents?"

"We'll just say we're staying at each other's place's, then go."

"Sounds too easy."

"That's because it is." Lily smiled, walking backwards. "This is my turn, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Emma smiled. "It was nice to meet you!" She called.

"You, too, Emma!" Lily called back, running out the way of a car. Emma walked opposite with a smile on her face, happy as hell to have met a friend.

Emma didn't have homework that night, so she started to do some extensive research on astrology. She learned all of her sign, and Lily's, finding that the two were compatible in more ways than one. She had been reading up on the other's as well, she had an idea about Regina's sign, and needed to make sure it was correct.

"Regina Mills," Came the stoic answer.

"Emma Swan," The girl replied equally as professional.

"Oh, Emma, what number are you calling from, are you okay?"

"It's my own, they got me a phone for school, and things, I'm actually supposed to be grounded but they must have forgotten. But, yes I am okay."

"That's good, how is school?" Regina's toned warmed.

"Good, fun, I made an interesting friend, she's new too."

"Hm, I'm glad, and you like her?"

"Yes, she wasn't awkward and didn't ask hard questions, I like her a lot. Do you follow zodiac?" Emma asked.

"Yes and no, I find it amusing but my sign is nothing like me."

"You're a cancer right?"

"I am, how did you know?" Regina laughed.

"I felt it in my soul, Regina. In. My. Soul." Emma said dramatically.

"Is that right? Or are you stalking me?"

"Guess I'll only ever know. Ouch, but our signs aren't compatible, according to this web page." Emma hissed.

"What is your sign?" Regina asked. "Wait, it's Libra isn't it?"

"Yes, but you read my file." Emma scoffed.

"True, but maybe I felt it in my soul as well." The woman purred. "Well that is an air sign, cancer is a water, air and water make rain. Rain is my most favorite weather."

"Me, too." Emma smiled.

"Yes." Regina said. "So, I take you got in trouble for our afternoon together?"

"Ugh, yes, don't remind me, they were yelling and it was gross." Emma wiped her face.

"They just care about you." Regina sighed.

"I wish they wouldn't I don't like this all."

"This all?"

"All this.. warmth, it makes me uncomfortable, something is weird, I can smell it."

"And what does it smell like?" Regina asked.

"Old macaroni and concrete." She replied quickly.

"Interesting." Regina hummed. "Should we schedule an appointment? I'd love to know more."

"We should, I would quite like to talk to you, in reality."

"Is this not reality?"

"Who knows, technology and all, you could be a ninety year old man in Slovakia for all I know."

"Touche," Regina nodded, smiling while Emma was blissfully unaware. "Wednesday at seven?" She asked.

"Sounds good, I will run it by the parental units."

"Okay, I will see you then." Regina chuckled.

"Okay, bye." Emma grinned and hung up the phone. She could smell something amazing wafting in, and she'd be damned if she wasn't there to devour it in five seconds.

Emma skid into the kitchen where Mary Margret was pulling out a batch of something out of the oven.

"Oh Emma just in time! I haven't even seen you all day, were you here?"

"Yeah, I was holed up in my room on this astrology binge." Emma giggled. "My friend told me about it and I love it."

"Ooh! I love it, I'm a gemini, you're libra of course, it radiates off of you." Snow laughed. "David is an aquarius, Henry is a pisces, James is a scorpio. Oh I just love this stuff!"

"Nice! Yeah, it's fun." Emma laughed, taking her seat.

"So this friend, what's her name?"

"Lily, she's in like all of my classes, she's great." Emma was unaware of her slight blush, her mother however, was not.

"Oh," Her brows raised. "Well, I'd love to meet her, where does she live?"

"Actually, just behind your school, in those townhouses, you know?" Emma asked pointedly.

"I do, ooh, idea!" Mary clapped. "Bring her by after school tomorrow, I'll take you girls' for ice cream or a movie or whatever you like to do."

"That sounds awesome, I'll ask her." Emma grinned, soon as Henry rushed into the room, reading some kind of book.

"Hey," He grumbled. "Dad isn't coming, he's held up."

"Oh, well I will save his plate then." Mary Margret sighed, setting aside one for her husband before serving her present family, truffle fries and spaghetti tacos, then of course a more than healthy serving of side salad. The trio talked about their days and ate contently, all heading off to bed after the mess was cleared.

"So, my mom wants to take us out after school," Emma said as they sat down for lunch, each with a cup noodles cooking under it's film.

"Like kill us?" Lily giggled. "I'm good."

"No, like out for ice cream or whatever we want." Emma replied, peeling off her film once more, she liked it when the noodles we good but not soft.

"Oh, ha, duh." She flipped her hair. "Yeah let's do it, then she can meet my Madre,"

"Yeah, about that." Emma drew out the answer.

"No," Lily pointed. "No. You are coming, I already have my outfit picked out, and I am going to help you with yours, you are going. We are going. Yay!"

"I-" Emma began.

"So, ice cream?" Lily clapped, Emma smiled into her soup and nodded.

After school the pair went straight to the school, Mary Margret was still teaching when they got there so they sat in the little library, where the librarian let them read to a class that was visiting for library day. It was fun, the kids loved how animated they were telling the story and would laugh at just about anything.

Mary Margret came in as they were helping the woman stack the returned books back into the shelves.

"Ready?" She chirped.

"Oh, Miss Blanchard your daughters are just lovely." The older woman complimented.

"Thank you Miss Pine, I'm glad the girls' could help you." She smiled.

"Anytime they want to come back, they are welcome in my library!"

"You didn't correct her." Emma said once they were in the car. "About us being your daughters."

Mary Margret sighed. "She's old, and I really wanted to get out of there." Mary spun around to great Lily. "Hello, sorry I'm Mary Margret, Emma's-" She looked to Emma who mouthed the word 'mom.' "Mom, nice to meet you."

"Lily, nice to meet you,too. I really like your car, hella vintage."

"Thank you, I got it when I was sixteen." She laughed.

"Wow, nice, I would have totally trashed a car in like two years."

"Not the attitude I want to hear, do you drive?"

"No, I just turned sixteen in August, and never got my permit. I want to though, we just didn't have the time."

"I see, Emma should be learning how to drive, huh Emma? I don't need to chaffuer you around when you could be driving me around. Oh, you could take Henry to school, think of the possibilities, let's get you permitted."

"What no I don't want to drive your car, what if I wreck it?"

"No way you'd be driving my car, the truck, you can have that."

"Oh okay." Emma nodded, looking back to Lily who gave her a thumbs up.

"You know, you remind me of Snow White." Lily said, leaning forward.

"Oh my God!" Snow exclaimed, then went on to tell the tales of all the past halloween costumes and stories.

"I am seriously going to explode," Emma groaned as Lily tried to shove a gummy worm in her mouth.

"Come on, open up, you know you want it!" The brunette cooed, Emma grimaced and turned her face away, only then did her friend give up and pop the culprit into her own mouth. "Hey, Mrs. Nolan, will you take a picture of us?" She asked, handing the woman in question her phone. Snow nodded and stood to shoot a few snapshots. The girl's smiled bright and pressed their faces together, making a few silly faces for good measure.

"Perfect!" Mary Margret said, sitting back down after handing the device back to Lily.

"Emma, what's your Instagram?" She asked.

"What's that?" Emma asked confused.

"What." Lily deadpanned. "No, this will not do, phone please." She held out her hand, Emma placed her phone within and watched as she downloaded an app, waiting as it loaded. "Instagram is the best social media out there because, well because it is. Okay, E-mail?"

"EmSwanSong ." Emma replied, she'd made it last night after needing it to research further into the internet.

"Okay, type in a user name and password." Lily handed her phone back. Emma used her name, but it was taken, so she added two letters after each, and found it to be available. "Yay, now you need to post."

"I haven't taken any pictures." Emma laughed. "Send me the one we just took, I'll post that." Emma recieved it a minute later, and then put it onto the account. "What now?"

"Nothing, I followed you though." Lily replied, just as Emma got a little orange bubble in the corner of her screen, she clicked on it as another came up, indicating the liking of her photo. Emma grinned as she followed Lily.

"You girl's ready?" Snow asked.

"Yeah, let's go." Emma replied, Lily helping her up as she was still true to her word of exploding.

"So, I know you live in the homes behind my school, but I might need a bit of direction." Snow chuckled, Lily just nodded and began to give her exact directions to her house. They arrived after a few short minutes, and minimal getting lost in the maze of streets.

"Hey, would you mind meeting my mom?" Lily asked.

"No, not at all, should I come to the door?"

"If you don't mind?" She smiled, Emma and Snow got out of the car and followed the girl to the red door of a white, Victorian style townhouse. Lily knocked three times, and waiting for an answer, loud music could be heard from inside, but it stopped after about thirty seconds of loud blows.

"What?" An angry blonde woman with roused hair and smeared makeup answered the door. "Oh, my Lily, hello?" She cooed, and pulled the girl in for a hug. "You must be Emma, and Emma's sister?" She winked.

Mary Margret laughed uncomfortably. "Mary Margret Nolan, nice to... meet you." She held out her hand, the woman shook it harshly.

"I'm Mallory, but call me Mal, or whatever, but Mal is good." She grinned. "And Emma," She sang. "I've heard such lovely things." She gave her an impish grin.

"Hi," Emma let out. "it's good to meet you, too."

"So polite!" She snapped. "Why aren't you this polite?" She playfully pushed Lily.

"I am, Ma, just not to you." She laughed.

"I see, well, would you two like to come in? I have tea screaming, it's my personal brew, it's ravishing."

"We would love to but, I only have my sitter until six." Snow said in a haste. "Lovely to meet you," She said again.

"You as well, Miss Snow, do tell David I said hello." She said in a sly tone.

"How do you?" She began but the door was slammed shut. "That is one strange woman." She shook her head.

"But, you like Lily?" Emma asked hopeful.

"Yes, yes, she's lovely." Mary Margret said, but was silent the rest of the way home. Emma sensed tension and spent the rest of the day in her room, doing the homework she would have been assigned yesterday, had she gone to English Comp class.

Emma whirled into Regina's office the next day, happier to be there than words could describe, she had been having a good week, but Regina made her feel less forced to live day to day with this mask she'd become so adept as holding up. Emma knocked twice and when she recieved a 'come in' she did just that.

"Hello!" She sang.

"Emma Swan, like the bird, how are you?" She grinned.

"Regina Mills, like the.. mill, I am good, how are _you?"_ She asked.

Regina laughed breathlessly. "I am well, please sit." She folded her hands and rested her chin on them. "Music?" She asked.

"Of course, surprise me." She whooshed. Regina grinned and pressed play without breaking eye contact with Emma.

"The Black Keys," She purred. "So, let's talk existentialism, my dear. School?"

"I like it, school's good so far, work load is minimal, and I have like two friends." Emma nodded.

"Tell me about them."

"Well, this guy named Hook is really funny, I think he's, you know, gay, because he wears eye liner and always talks about this guy named Will."

"Probably a prospect, but you enjoy him?"

"Yeah, he's super funny, we have sixth period together and we're the only people ever in the library, even the librarian leaves to have lunch."

"I see, and this other friend?" Regina asked.

"Oh, Lily, she's the best, we hit it off immediately, and have like four classes together. She gets me, and she doesn't even ask me personal questions."

"Wow, sounds like she's pretty wonderful."

"Yeah," Emma blushed. "except, she got invited to this party, and she wants me to go, and I don't know if I should."

"Why?"

"I don't know really." Emma pulled a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thinking about it makes my stomach twist."

"Then you shouldn't go, Emma." Regina let out, sounding a bit more protective than she would have like. "If you, don't feel right about it, it's a sign it's not a good thing to do."

"I know, I know, but I really want to fit in."

"Emma, no."

"What?" Emma looked up.

"If you are going to do something stupid just to fit in, you will not, and if you do it won't be real, it'll be the you they want you to be and not the you that you are, is that what you want?"

"No." Emma grumbled.

"Exactly, so do what you think is right, but only becasue it's what _you_ think you should do, not based off of what other people expect you to do." Regina let out, Emma wasn't looking at her, but she stared the girl down until she did, and gave her a warm smile.

"I really like this song." Emma let out. It was Me and Mr Jones by Amy Winehouse.

"Me, too." Regina said, they then went on to talk about nothings and birds for the remainder of the hour.

Regina growled as she locked up her office, it was around 11:00 and she was getting sick of these late nights. The night nipped at her, it was cold enough to the point she could see her breath as she exhaled. She unlocked her car and fell in, less gracefully than she would have liked, just as she did her phone rang.

"Ugh!" She let out, unknown number. "What?" She barked.

"Woah, I'm sorry, were you sleeping?" Regina recognized the voice as the girl she'd been contacting, the one with no name.

"No, dear, I just got off of work, why must you call me at such ridiculous hours?" She asked, still feeling a bit agitated.

"I don't know I'm sorry." The girl replied. "I just, I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, but I'm going to ask that you tell me your name, maybe then I could understand being dialed at the Devil's hour."

"It's A." She said. "That's the name you should you."

"That's your name?" Regina asked, this girl was very intriguing to her, she always appreciated a good mystery.

"It's the most prominent letter in my name, is it good enough?" A asked.

"It'll do, now what did you want, _A?"_

"I think we should meet again," She said.

"Is that right?"

"Yes. I'm ready now." A replied.

"Well, okay Miss A, how is your friday looking?"

"Uselessly free." Regina could hear the smile in her tone.

"Let's change that. I'll get back to you tomorrow." Regina replied.

"Goodbye." She said.

Regina shook her head, never had this happened to her before, a client being so unwilling to share personal information, she couldn't help but wonder just what this A was trying to hide?

 **I hope this was satisfactory, we're going to pick up in the next chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Mistakes are my own! Let me know what you are thinking.**

The week had gone by fast, and Emma was ready for it to be over. Lily had been pestering her all week about that ridiculous party, and while Emma wanted to heed Regina's words and do what she thought was right, she caved and now there was no turning back as they walked towards her house with the notion of picking out the proper outfit.

No one was home when they arrived, Emma guessed that was for the best, but she'd told them she planned on staying the night at Lily's. Mary Margret had been hesitant, she began to say no, but David agreed, he wanted Emma to make friends and now that she was doing so, he couldn't let his wife discourage her.

"Your house is really cute." Lily said, twirling the tassels on the curtains hanging over the small bay window in the kitchen.

"Yeah, it's nice, you hungry?" Emma replied.

"No, where's your room? I need to scope."

"Upstairs last door on the left." Emma told her, pulling out ingredients for a chicken salad sandwich.

"Kay, meet me up there." Lily said, running off. Emma hummed a response then busied herself with the food she so craved. It took her about five minutes to make the perfect sandwich, and she was quite proud of the accomplishment as she carried it up the stairs with two bottles of water. "Oh my god, Emma this is great!" Lily held up a plaid pencil dress of black, green and red. "You have to wear it!"

Emma scrunched her nose up. "I don't know, I don't have any shoes to match."

"Nonsense! I have a pair of black heels that would just kill it." Lily said, placing the dress on the bed. "Do you like it? I mean I'm not trying to choose for you I just thought it'd be super cute, plus I'm wearing red and black so we could match!"

"What are you wearing?" Emma asked. Lily whipped out her phone and scrolled to her in a flowing red blouse that looked like silk, and black high waist jeans. "Are those leather?" She asked in regards to the pants.

"Yes, they're so awesome, my aunt got them from this really weird shop, I don't even remember the name, but it was great, she grew out of them and now they are _mine_."

"I like it, what shoes?"

"Well my mom has these red Doc's that I'm going to borrow," she coughed. "Steal."

"I like it, at least we're going to look hot." Emma smirked.

"Girl, we could show up in onesies and still be the hottest there!"

"This is true, should we head over to your house? I'd rather change there." Emma began.

"Yeah, let's go, do you have to leave a note?"

"No, they thought I was going to yours right after school." Emma replied, taking up the dress and turning off her light so they could make way downstairs and out the door.

The wind was picking up as they walked to the townhouses. Emma made sure work that Mary Margret was not going to see them as they passed by the school. The pair were relieved to have made it through that signature red door just in time, as clouds were forming over head.

"It's going to rain, is it cancelled?" Emma asked.

"No!" Lily laughed. "It's indoors, and rain makes things a lot better. Mom!" She called, and stomped up the stairs. Emma sat on a velveteen purple couch that looked old enough to have survived the stone ages. The interior of the home was dark and sultry, not dirty, but messy in a way that screamed the owners could care less. It smelled of incense and tea, Emma like it, and all the lights were red or purple, some green.

"Emma!" Lily called from upstairs, Emma stood and followed the voice. The upstairs hall was painted orange, with different arrays of photos and tapestries littering all around. Blue, natural light flooded out from an open doorway, Emma turned in there, correct in the assumption of it being Lily's room. The walls were light blue, painted over with street art style drawings, a few framed pictures and a single fabric poster advertising 'Punk is Not Dead' decorated the far wall, the only one singularly blue. The large bed was clad with black sheets and a white comforter, the sheets had an obscene amount of fur.

"You have a dog?" She asked towards the hair.

"Yeah, but that's from my cat." She pointed to a bean bag chair behind Emma, where a fat tabby took up most of the center. "Our dog never leaves my Mom's room but to go to the bathroom. He's scared of life."

"Can I pet her?" Emma asked, stepping towards the cat.

"Mhm, her name is Lady Rex. I call her Rexy though." Lily replied, pulling off her current Tom's shoes and tossing glossy Doc Martin's onto the bed, the red ones she's pre-mentioned. Emma busied herself petting Lady Rex and studying the plethora of art.

"Did you do all this?" She asked.

"Uh, yeah, I'm kind of a spray paint junkie." Lily confessed.

"It's amazing." Emma breathed.

"Thanks, I really like that one, not just because it's the biggest either." Lily pointed to a large detailed jellyfish-seahorse hybrid. "You want to change in here on in the bathroom?"

"Bathroom, I have to pee." Emma replied, standing and wiping her palms of cat fur. Lady Rex was unamused by her sudden departed and stretched out further, her fat body shifting the chair.

"Right across the hall." She said, taking off her shirt as she did so. Emma lingered a moment, the croaked an '0kay' before rushing into the room, painted navy with glow stars aloof. Emma made quick work changing into the dress, shoving her previous outfit into her empty bag, the doing her business before washing her hands with lavender soap. Emma entered the room just as Lily was lacing up her boots, the girl grinned at her.

"Looking fab!" She whistled, Emma did a spin and laughed.

"You, too! I believe I was promised heels?" She asked, Lily nodded and jumped to her mirror, sliding it open to reveal a closet, packed with clothes of all colors. The girl fished through until she found what she was looking for with an 'ah-ha.'

"I find!" She said and threw the pair at Emma, who didn't manage to think fast enough, and bent down to pick them up.

"Nice, so how are we getting there?" Emma asked.

"Bus." Lily replied. "It's a thirty minute ride so we should leave in a couple of hours."

"Why did we rush to get ready then?" Emma asked, placing the heels on the nightstand.

"I don't know, but now we can take cute pictures! Wait, no I'm going to crimp your hair, you can curl mine, good?"

"Let's do it." Emma agreed, feeling more excited about the night than she could have thought possible just this morning.

Regina had taken the day off, she didn't have any appointments and was feeling adrift in paperwork, she needed to get away. She'd found the perfect escape in her newest client, the ever mysterious A. Regina knew she could easily find out exactly who this girl is, but she could tell she was just afraid of her name being mentioned elsewhere, and Regina decided to let her have her way. A would be arriving at six thirty to speak more of what she was looking for, and maybe they'd even get to have a taste of what's to come.

The day went by nicely, she did absolutely nothing, and loved every moment of it. The doorbell sang at 6:25, and she danced over to get it. Regina dressed a bit more casually this time around, in a simple pair of loose fitting jeans littered with rips that she could remember creating, and a light blue off-shoulder blouse.

"Hello Miss- terious." Regina greeted, the girl was wearing dark-wash jeans with a bright blue and red flannel over a white tank top.

"Hello, I like your shirt." A said upon being ushered in.

"Thank you, dear, how are you today?"

"I'm good, my friends and I went out to this swimming hole and spent the day there, it was really nice. And yourself?"

"I am fine, was it by chance Devil's pool?" She asked.

"Yeah, you've been?" She grinned.

"Yes, I took a friend of mine there recently, it was her first time swimming and she pulled me off the cliff. I didn't know that then, of course."

"Sounds like fun, and clearly she didn't drown." A smiled.

"Thankfully, that would not have looked good on my part, please sit." Regina motioned towards the living room as she went to make herself a drink. "Cider?"

"Is that like-" The girl began. "Yes, please." She answered. Regina smirked as she made the drinks, heading over once finished, she placed them on individual coasters.

"So, what brings you back?" Regina asked, crossing her legs and leaning back into the black leather of her couch.

"Same thing as last time, only know I have an actual clue what to expect." She replied.

"I have to say, I was worried I'd scared you off."

"Me, scared, ha!" The girl fasted. "No, but you did deter me a little, with all your words and being." She gestured to Regina with her hands. "You."

"Being me?" She asked, furrowing her brows. "Have we met?"

"Yes, a long time ago." A replied.

"Indulge me." Regina said, leaning forward a bit to show she had her full attention.

"Well, I, you were at this bar okay, and I am not creepy I swear," She shook her head. "I was sixteen, and it was my first time using a fake ID, but I saw you and it was like 'wow' because you were so drunk." She laughed, Regina smirked. "But I went over to you, these guys were all over you and I couldn't let them do anything knowing I could have stopped it, right?"

"Right." Regina nodded.

"So, yeah I did and then I couldn't leave you all fucked up, so I stayed even after my friends had gone home with their hook-ups. I mean you were gone, but we talked for the whole night and I had driven you home, but we never got there, you literally gave no coherent directions for at least two hours then you were all 'Oh I live here!" And I took you upstairs, it was a different place than you live in now, but very nice, and you told me what you did and gave me your number, said and I quote 'call me when you're 18.'" A laughed and sipped her drink. "So I did."

"No way." Regina laughed. "I remember you now!" Regina gasped.

"Really?" She asked.

"Yes, yes! God how could I not see it sooner, you cut your hair?"

"I did." She said. "It got in the way."

"Can I say your name?" Regina whispered.

"Ah, no then it makes this real!"

"This is very real," Regina purred. "Athena."

By the time seven thirty rolled around, the girls' were more than ready to leave. They'd waited at the bus stop for around ten minutes before it actually pulled up. The night was cold and had a strong breeze, but the clouds had cleared and a multitude of stars could be seen from their secluded suburban area.

"Ready?" She asked as they stepped off into the city, where it was warmer. "It's just a few blocks that way."

"Okay." Emma replied. "Lily, I'm scared."

Lily linked arms with the blonde. "Don't be." The music could be heard now, the lights and clamor of teens rebelling against society. They stepped into the yard, there were a few kids straggling out there, the front door was wide open so they slipped inside. "I'll get us a drink!" Lily told her, trying to be louder than the ruckus.

"Okay!" Emma replied and stood uncomfortably, someone touched her shoulder and she whipped around to see Hook with a stupid grin on his face.

"Swan Song!" He slurred, already wasted. "How the hell are you?" He leaned into her for support, she had to lean right back to provide enough.

"I'm good, how about you? A little tipsy there?" She chuckled, he closed his eyes then let out a long sigh.

"I just, I'm just a bit, bit out there." He replied just as Lily returned with two water bottles filled with a red liquid.

"This stuff is bomb, drink." She handed it to Emma.

"Is this alcohol?" Emma asked.

"Mostly." Lily laughed and took a long drink of hers. "Want to go out back? They have some cool lights."

"Okay," Emma answered, tightening the lid back on her drink. After only a sip she could feel the hot burn of something in her throat, unaware of what it was, and just how much of it she was consuming.

Emma had drank the whole bottle, then two more, and a beer, she may have gone a bit overboard, but she felt _so_ good.

"Yay!" She sang as Lily handed her a shot. "Lily, I love you." Her words were long and drawn out.

"Aw, Emma's drunk." Lily laughed and pulled her friend into her, they fell in a heap onto the wet grass.

"OhmygodLilymydress." Emma cried. "I, where's my phone?" She asked. "No, bra, it's in bra!" She pulled out the device. "No, boob sweat be gone!" She wiped it on her coat and clumsily unlocked the screen, pulling up the camera. Emma could barely hold it up long enough to take a self portrait of her and Lily, most of them were blurry.

"Post it!" Lily urged, downing the rest of her punch. The girl's were admittedly wasted and having a really great time in the process.

"Lily," Came a voice from behind them, Lily turned to see a familiar face, Belle. "What are you doing?" She asked.

"What do you mean? What are you doing here, you graduated." Lily asked, sobering up at the sight of her girlfriend, who was supposed to be in New York.

"Yeah, Neal said he saw you here drunk off your ass with some girl, I was worried." Her voice carried a slight accent.

"You're really pretty." Emma smiled, her eyes half closed.

"Thank you." Belle said kindly before turning to Lily, angry once more. "Get up, come on." Belle said, extending her hand, Lily took it.

"Wait Lily where are you going?" Emma asked, scared at the prospect of being left alone.

"I have to go, Em, I'm sorry I'll explain tomorrow. You can go to my house if you need a place to stay, I'm sorry." Lily was then dragged away by the woman. Emma began to cry, she didn't know why but she couldn't stop it. She pulled out her phone and called the only person she trusted to help.

Regina had taken Athena out after figuring her true identity, they'd found themselves in Regina's favorite bistro just down the street from her apartment.

"I did!" Regina exclaimed, biting into a piece of bread. "I remember that day so well, I can't believe I got away with it. I would recommend, only if you're desperate."

"I find it hard to believe, you seem like one of those girl's who always is on the teacher's good side." Athena laughed at her tale of changing her failing grade to a passing one by drugging her teacher, humanely of course.

"No, he really hated me, but he never found out, you're the first person to know aside from my horse, but not a person, or wait." Regina chuckled evilly, staring off into the distance as she thought about the differences between horses and people. Maybe she had a bit too much wine.

"Well I am honored," The girl began just as Regina's phone went off.

"Ah, cursed!" She cried and pulled it out, sobering at the name. "I have to take this, I'm sorry." She said seriously.

"No, it's fine, duty calls." Athena replied, Regina stood and headed outside where it was quieter.

"Emma?" She answered, sounding worried.

"Regina!" Came a slur of words. "I made a mistake, I did the thing, the thing you said was a bad thing and I did it." She cried.

"Emma what are you talking about?" Regina asked, she could hardly hear the girl over the noise flooding in from wherever she was. "Where are you, are you okay?"

"I don't know, I'm the party, it's here, and I drank the cherry stuff but it wasn't cherries, Regina is was fucking poison!" Emma was frantic. "I don't know what is going on. Lily left me, she left and I'm alone in this ocean."

"You went to the party." Regina understood.

"Yes, I did and I wish I sorry." She cried. "I can't can't go home, Regina. I'm lost again."

"Emma where are you? You're not lost, tell me." Regina pinched her bridge.

"In the city, ooh bird!" Emma cried.

"What kind of bird?" Regina grinned.

"An owl, it was white." Emma said calmly. "Hey! Peasant, I need directions!" She screeched.

"Hello?" A deep voice came through the line.

"Who is this?"

"You're her girlfriend?" It asked.

"Tell me where she is." Regina demanded. The boy gave directions and handed the phone back to Emma. "Emma, stay there, I'm going to come get you."

"Yay!" Emma slurred, then Regina hung up and rushed inside.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry I have to go and pick up my, I don't know she's at a party and she'd under age, I just ugh! I'm so sorry."

"Regina, it's okay, let me drive you, please you're stumbling a little." Athena said and stood, Regina agreed and they went to leave. "Wait!" She let out, and rushed back to grab the bread. "This is awesome bread."

Regina laughed and followed her out to her car, they slid in and after she poured out the directions Athena laughed. "Oh my god, I was invited to this party. How old is this girl?"

"Fifteen, oh god, is there drugs there? Please don't tell me there will be drugs." Regina pleaded, closing her eyes and falling back into the seat.

"Knowing them, there will not be a soul sober in that house." Athena laughed breathlessly. "Sorry." She said at Regina's exasperation.

"Ah," Was all she said, as she pulled up to the house. "I'll be right out."

"I can go in, I've been here before." She offered.

"No, no, she's no." Regina said and walked into the house, it smelled like body oder and cheap liquor, Regina scoffed. "Hey!" She yelled at a boy who was dropping a pill into a drink, she snatched it and smacked him on the head. "No!" She held out her hand, he dropped the small bag into it, she shook her head and put them into her pocket.

Regina went outback, knowing Emma wouldn't want to be with that crowd, she spotted her laying on her back, staring at the stars.

"Regina, yay!" She coed when Regina came into her view. "I missed you."

"Get up, Emma." She extended her hand, Emma lifted her arm and swatted.

"So far." She moaned, Regina reached down and pulled her up with incredible strength. "Are you the Hulk?"

"No, but I am very mad at you." Regina let out, carrying Emma cradle style back into the house, trying not to hit her head on anything. "Move, idiots, if I had half a mind I would call the authorities right now!" Everyone scrambled out of her way, she made it back to the car where it idled out front. Regina placed Emma in the back seat, buckled her in and then stepped back into the front.

"Hello!" Athena said to the girl as she turned.

"Who the heck are you?" Emma asked, leaning against Regina's seat, twirling her hair.

"The muffin man." She answered, Emma's eyes widened and she looked away. The girl laughed and began to drive off.

"Regina I didn't know you had friends." Emma asked after a minute.

"Emma please stop talking." Was all she said. Emma rolled her eyes. "Muffin man, tell me a story? About the muffins, man."

"Oh, the muffins, do you really want to know?" She asked dramatically.

"Yes, Jesus tell me!"

"There were muffins, cranberry, blueberry, orange, all the muffins." She began. "Then there was nothing."

"That sucked." Emma deadpanned. "Who makes orange muffins? Are those- can we get some?" Emma asked. "Oh my god, Regina please, I have the moneys. Muffin man, please take me to the muffins please I will do anything."

"Can I take her to the muffins, Regina?" Athena asked.

"Yes," Regina huffed. "But you are buying me a muffin!" She pointed to Emma.

"She loves us, Muffin Man!" Emma clapped, then resumed playing with Regina's hair. "You have nice hair, it's nice and smells like love." She inhaled.

"Emma." Regina said.

"Ahh! I hate when you say it like that!" Emma said, heightening the sound of the 't.' "Sounds so old and mean."

"I am old and mean." Regina said.

"No, no, no. Remember the cliff, Regina? The cliff where we jumped and it was like 'woo.' That cliff, yeah?" Emma blabbered.

"Emma, stop talking please."

"Am I embarrassing you?"

"Yes, you are being rude."

"Nu-uh! Muffin Man, who's being ruder me or her?" Emma asked the driver.

"Neither, I am very entertained. Okay, so I'm going to go in, orders?" She asked.

"No, I wanna go." Emma whined.

"No." Regina deadpanned. "I'll go, what do you want?"

"Orange, pretty please?" Emma asked.

"And you?" Regina asked.

"Blueberry, here." She handed her a twenty. "On me."

"No, I don't think so." Regina laughed and shut the door.

"Thank you, I love you!" Emma slurred into the seat. "Did she hear me?"

"I don't think so." Athena answered, rolling down the window. "She said thank you and she loves you!" She called, Regina just scowled and flung the door open, she returned a moment later with a paper bag.

"Emma they didn't have orange, but they had cranberry-orange, so I got you that." She said, handing her the baked good. Emma held it in her hands as if her were the key to unlocking the secrets of man.

"Is this real?" She turned it over in her hands, laying out across the seats.

"This is very real." Regina answered.

"Holy shit." Emma said, she picked off a bit of the muffin top and threw it at her face, missing her mouth completely.

"Emma! Do not make a mess of the Muffin Man's car!" Regina tried not to laugh.

"I didn't, my hair ate it." Emma said innocently. Regina was about to say something but just laughed. Emma smiled and handed her the muffin. "Stomach says no."

"Okay." Regina took it back and slid it into the bag. Emma rolled the window down in a state of wonder, and lolled her head out.

"Why. Aren't. We. Moving." She struggled to say. "Muffin Man, onward!"

"Are you ready?" Muffin Man asked Regina.

"Yes, please." Regina nodded. "Emma, act right." She told the girl, who growled and sat straight, for a moment, until she fell against the window ledge.

"Will you turn on the radio? You guys are boring." Emma said, each of her words lasting ten seconds at least. Athena tuned it to a station playing some kind of strange heavy metal. "Headache, off." Emma complained, and it was turned off.

"Your place?" Athena asked.

"Yes." Regina smiled and they arrived within ten minutes, to Emma's great dismay.

"Need help?" She asked.

"No, I got it from here. Thank you so much." She said.

"No problem, this was very a very entertaining way to end my night." Athena replied.

"I'm glad, I'm sure she'll be mortified in the morning."

"Be sure to ask her if she remembers the Muffin Man." She laughed.

"I will, goodnight, call me, we can finish our dinner!" Regina called over her shoulder, the one Emma was not weighing down.

"Okay, goodnight." Athena replied before joining the traffic.

Regina placed Emma onto her bed and flicked on the light. "Emma, can you sit up for me." She asked, Emma shook her head. "Please?" She asked.

Emma groaned and did so, eyes closed. "Why am I swimming?"

"Oh, dear. How much did you drink?" She asked.

"Enough to go swimming, can I have a bathtub?"

"A bath?" Regina asked, Emma nodded. "Yes, if you can stand and undress yourself."

Emma attempted to do so, but slapped her thighs in wasted effort. "Help me, please?" She whined.

"Emma I can't see you naked." Regina said quietly.

"I'll close my eyes, besides I asked you, I never asked before." Emma said, Regina gasped, she knew Emma was unaware of what she was saying but her heart pained at the words.

"Okay, come here." She took the small hand and led her to the en suite. Regina unzipped her dress and ran the bath, adding in bubbles that smelled like rain. Once the tub was full of warm water, she asked Emma to stand and pulled off the rest of her dress, then undergarments.

"Step up," She said lightly, Emma did and allowed Regina to lower her down into the bath, Emma didn't let go of her hand.

"Please stay." She whispered, Regina sat on the floor next to the tub and leaned against it, facing away from the girl it held. "Regina."

"What?"

"I'm scared." She said weakly.

"Tell me." Regina began.

Emma began to sob weakly, her body rippling the water. "I can't do this I can't, I can't." She croaked. "I can't do it anymore." Emma sobbed, Regina sat up and squeezed her hand, unaware of the tears threatening at her eyes.

"Emma, please, it's okay." She cooed, Emma sucked in shakily then chocked on the air she had collected.

"No, this isn't me." She relaxed and hit her head on the edge with a thud. Regina tensed, but saw the girl was fine.

"Emma get out, come on." She tried to pull her out, but Emma submerged herself. Regina used all her strength to pull up the dead weight. Once she was out, she wrapped her in a towel and led her to the bed, Emma was half asleep by the time she was placed on the left side.

Regina covered her with a quilt that decorated the edge of her bed, Emma gripped it fiercely. "Please don't go." She whispered, but Regina heard it.

"Emma, I-" She began, but stopped herself and sat beside the small body which curled into her, leaving a wet imprint on her jeans. "Fuck." Regina groaned, how had this become her life?

 **You don't even know this was very fun to write, I hope this makes up for not updating for so long, who knows I'm on a roll, might even be one more before the weekend!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Aw I love your reviews! So I am not going to sleep, and do this instead! Drunk Emma turned Hungover Emma. Drama Mama!**

In her dream she was a fish, well she couldn't see herself so she may have been a whale or dolphin, but she felt like a fish. She was swimming through coral blue seas that shone with hints of sunlight peaking through, causing the kelp to glow around her. Marine Emma swam about aimlessly, exploring the reef with wonder.

That was, until the turtles came.

They were the bullies of the reef, she tried to swim away and avoid their wrath but her little fish body was no match for them. Emma blew violent bubbles as a fin came down on her hard, and then there was darkness.

Now, she was awake and the headache her fish self would be experiencing seemed to have transferred up into reality. Emma looked around the room, it was dark, but she could tell that beyond the brown light proof curtains, it was daylight. Emma groaned taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, it was only when she saw the framed picture of Regina with who she assumed to be a professor, she realized where she was, and she immediately felt her regret puddle in. It was then that she saw she was naked, wrapped in a still wet towel and covered by a single quit.

"Ow." She moaned, trying to sit up, holding her head. Her stomach churned, she could feel bile rising and ran through the first door she could find; closet. "Fuck!" Emma cried and burst through the next door to the bathroom just in time to spill the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. Emma cringed as she tasted the vomit spilling out, why couldn't she have done this drunk?

"Emma?" Regina knocked soft on the door. "Are you alright?"

Emma coughed and wiped at her mouth. "No, I'm gross." Emma wretched again, but only clear liquid came out. "Ew." She spat and flushed.

"Can I come in?" Regina asked, hand on the knob.

"No! Ah!" Emma said, rushing to block the door with her body.

"What's wrong?" Regina asked quickly when the door slammed shut the small distance she'd pushed it open.

"I'm super naked." Emma laughed.

Regina blushed, glad she couldn't see it happening. "Right, I'll just get you something to wear." Regina then rushed over to her dresser, grabbing a tank and sweats along with a pair of underwear, as she had put Emma's in the wash along with her dress. "Here, your bra is hanging on the rack if you want to wear it." A hand twisted around to take the bundle then retreated.

"Thanks, but no. My boobs hurt so bad." Emma groaned. It only took her a moment to change and she emerged, her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, Regina stared a moment too long, she looked beautiful.

"Do you want a toothbrush?" She stumbled.

"Please, I used some of your mouthwash but I don't think it was enough." Emma laughed, smelling her breath and wincing.

"Follow me." Regina said and took her to the guest bathroom, where she tore open a Spongebob toothbrush she'd picked up when her Nephew had stayed with her, but he never used it.

"Why does this not surprise me?" Emma said holding the item up as if it were a trophy.

"Because I'm wonderful, now go, the toothpaste is behind the mirror." Regina pushed her into the room with a chuckle.

"Wow fancy, I wouldn't suspect it, what other secret compartments are you hiding?" Emma joked, closing the door. Regina shook her head and went out to the kitchen, where she had been making french toast. Emma wandered in five minutes later.

"I got lost." She admitted, sliding into a seat at the bar, resting her head on her arms without second thought.

"Maybe I should have given you a map?" Regina retorted.

"Ha-ha, I made it here didn't I?" Emma's muffled tone came from beyond.

"I suppose, do you remember coming here last night?" Regina went with, they had to talk about the events of the previous night eventually.

"Kind of, I remember you carrying me out of the party, props for that because you were wearing heels by the way." Emma pointed. "Then muffins, but that's about it."

"Yes, the muffins, quite an epidemic." Regina chuckled. "Thank you, though, you are not as heavy as one may think."

"Woah, did you just call me fat?" Emma deadpanned.

"No, but I could carry you so clearly you are not."

"That's hot." Emma laughed.

"The sun?" Regina retorted.

"That's very hot." Emma chuckled. "I remember someone else being there, who was that?" Emma asked.

"Oh, yes, Athena, we were out when you called requiring assistance." Regina laughed. "You had been under the impression she was the muffin man."

"Were you on a date?" Emma bit out, trying and failing in not sounding jealous.

"Some what, she's an old friend of sorts." Regina went back to turn over the cooking food.

"Oh, well is she pretty?" Emma asked, not trying this time to hide the venom.

"Yes she's very beautiful." Regina told her.

"Prettier than me?" Emma asked.

"Emma, please." The brunette sighed and leaned against the counter, facing away from the teen.

"Sorry." Emma grumbled. "It's fine, you can date, I just wanted to make sure she's good enough for you." Emma said as she was served.

Regina slid in next to her and began to eat. "I'm not _dating_ , we went out, maybe I'll see her again, who knows." Regina chewed. "Wait, I don't have to explain this to you! You are in my house, and only because I had to pick you up from a party I told you not to go to!"

"Well, pft!" Emma replied. "Whatever, you didn't have to come get me! I could have taken care of myself."

"Excuse me! What kind of person do you think I am? You called me needing help, you expect me to just turn you down? I'm sorry but you are mistaken, you hardly remember but you could hardly stand, dear." Regina informed.

"Whatever." Emma sighed.

"No, you do not get to dismiss me! Tell me, what should I have done? Huh?" Regina's voice raised with the question.

Emma rubbed her temples. "I don't know, I just I'm sorry, okay?" Emma said quietly. "Please stop yelling I can't take it."

"I'm sorry," Regina let out and turned away from the infuriating girl. "You said your friend left you."

"Lily," Emma ground out. "She- well she was kind of pulled away, I think it was her girlfriend or something." Emma tried to recall.

"Oh, well I don't see why she would do that when she was responsible for you."

"No, she wasn't! God, Regina why do you say things like that?" Emma tensed.

"Because she was! You were reluctant to go in the first place and she forced you! Emma, I care about you, I don't like where this is going." The brunette stared at Emma for any sign she was listening, but the girl wouldn't face her.

"I can take care of myself."

Regina laughed without humor. "You have a funny way at proving that to be true."

"You know what, fuck you!" Emma hit the counter and stormed out of the room. "How the fuck do I get out of here!" She screamed. Regina let out a frustrated sigh and followed the tracks.

"Emma, stop." Regina told the girl who was trying in vain to open the locked door.

"Let me out!" She cried, pulling harder. "Let me out, let me out!" She screamed.

"Emma!" Regina yelled, Emma let out a weak sob and fell against the wall, quite violently, and began to cry. Regina didn't know what to do, she looked around aimlessly before slowly walking towards the mess of a girl. "Emma." She said softly, placing a hand on the girl's knee, who jerked away.

"Stop it, please." Came the barely audible response. Regina sat next to her, placing her head on the shaking shoulders. "Remember when you stayed with me, crying outside of that bookstore?" Regina whispered into her hair. Emma nodded. "Let me help you." Emma choked and fell into the woman, unable to control her wracking sobs.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," She cried. "I'm so sorry Regina, I don't know why I do this." Emma tried.

"No, no. Sh, Emma you don't have to apologize to me, tell me what's wrong?" Regina wiped her tears, her hair away from her wet face. Emma refused to face her and was staring at hr hand, which she took and fiddled with.

"I can't, what if you think I'm weak?"

"Never." Regina assured.

"I'm so _scared_." Emma whispered.

"Why?"

"I don't know, of everything, life, death, my family, _you_." Emma shook her head.

"Why are you afraid of me, Emma?" Regina asked, knowing she shouldn't, but she had to.

"I'm- I," Emma inhaled shakily. "I think I'm in love with you."

"Emma, no." Regina sighed. "You just love the idea of me."

"No, don't generalize me!" Emma let out. "I know what this is, and I know you feel it, too, remember when we met and you stared at me for so long, you stared into my fucking soul."

"I," She shook her head, it was true, Emma had stared right back into hers. "I didn't." She lied. "I'm sorry."

"You did, and you're not." Emma sighed. "Regina, please, just tell me I'm not crazy."

"I can't, Emma, you know I can't."

"I won't tell anyone." Emma's voice was quiet, she still wouldn't look up, still playing with Regina's fingers.

"I'm your therapist." Regina settled on. "This is wrong, I'm supposed to be helping you."

"How is it wrong?"

"How do you think people will see me? David? The rest of the world?"

"I don't care about them, who cares about other people, seriously, why is this some kind of rule? The law is just words!" Emma blurted.

"I do! Emma, listen to yourself, really. The law is enforced word, just because it's stupid doesn't mean it's not real." Regina shook her head. Emma was quiet for a long time, she leaned into Regina and stayed that way, the brunette had thought she'd fallen asleep.

"I knew you felt the same." She said.

"I-" Was all Regina said, then decided against words, she kissed the top of Emma's hair and stood, taking the girl with her. "Come on, we should get you home."

"Okay." Emma replied and waited for Regina to collect her things, then they left.

"Wait, will you take me to Lily's? I have some words for her." Emma asked.

"Where is it?" Regina asked, Emma told her, and before long they were pulling up in front of the house. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah, thank you." Emma said, and pulled Regina's hand that she hadn't let go of, into a hug. "Bye." She let go.

"Emma." Regina called after her. "Call me later, when you get home."

"I will." Emma said and waved her off. There was a new car out front the house, so she assumed Lily would be here. With a loud knock she waited, Mal opened the door a few minutes later.

"Emma! My dear, I thought you were here?" She looked confused.

"Yeah, long story." Emma laughed. "Maybe we can talk about it over tea. Is Lily n her room?" Emma asked, stepping into the dark house.

"Okay, I can start a brew, she's up there, probably still asleep."

"Thanks, I'll be down in a moment."

"Do you want the psychedelics?" Mal called, Emma furrowed her brows.

"Uh sure!" She then marched up the stairs. Emma pushed open Lily's door and saw her and another body sprawled across the bed. "Wake up, sunshine." Emma smacked her hard on the back.

"Oh, fuck!" Lily groaned and shot up, giving Emma a full frontal view of her bare chest. "Shit, Emma."

"Yeah, shit! What the hell?"

"I'm sorry I didn't want to leave you, but Belle came back, and I had to," Lily pointed to the girl next to her.

"So you leave me for some girl? I thought we were friends!"

"You're fine what's the big deal!" Lily exclaimed.

"But what if I wasn't! What if I'd been raped of something! Regina found me laying in the fucking grass half asleep! She had to carry me out of that place. What if she hadn't Lily, what if you left me and I was dead in a ditch somewhere?"

"I don't know, fuck! Emma I'm so sorry, but I was just as drunk as you, I didn't know what I was doing! I said I was sorry, please, just forgive me."

Emma grumbled. "I forgive you. But don't fuck me over again!" She smacked her friend. "I promised your mother tea." Emma turned, stopping by the door. "Great tits by the way." She winked, she really couldn't stay mad at Lily.

Emma made way into the kitchen, it was all red, the curtains, the cookware, everything. "Wow, this is great." Emma sighed, seeing Mal dressed in a flowing green dress under a black velvet shawl.

"Thank you, dear, tea?" She handed her a clear mug that had beads floating about in water under the surface.

"Thanks. So, I need to ask you something."

"Yes?" Mal sat across from her and stared right through her.

Emma squirmed a bit. "How did you know my mom's nickname, and her husband?"

"I'm a psychic, dear, it's selective but for the most part I can control it."

"Do you know things about me?" Emma sipped her tea, it tasted earthy, but she took another drink before setting it down.

"Yes, would you like to know?" Mal began, and held out her hands when Emma nodded 'yes.' "Why do you hurt so bad, child?" A tear fell from her closed eyes. "Your love for a woman, the woman who brought you to me, it's overbearing, you can't have her." Mal sighed. "Your family is hiding something from you, you," A brow rose. "I don't think I am in the right position to disclose that." Mal squeezed her hands tight. "You're fading out."

Emma blinked heavily, the room was twisting. "What's happening?" She breathed.

"The tea is working." Mal chuckled, her face contorted into that of a dragon and Emma didn't have time to ask what she meant when she was consumed by the world, becoming one with the colors the house was constructed of.

 _She landed with a painful snap, her limbs had been replaced with branches, small twigs grew out from them, sprouting little saplings and leaves. Around her there was nothingness, her mind wished for water, and the falls erupted before her. The clear blue liquid flooded out from over the rocks, Emma tried to move but she was rooted to the ground, she thought of grass, and it materialized before her, she realized she was in control._

 _Emma imagined herself a bird, an owl like the one she'd seen the other night. She couldn't move her eyes, she realized, but her head would twist about almost a complete circle. She flew towards the falls, she couldn't stop, she went right through them, the water was icy. On the other side was a world she did not recognize, like a fairytale. Magic spewed, glittery and prominent from holes in the earth, from the trees and hands of all._

 _She saw Mal, but she was in her dragonous form, strong and emerald, easily recognized. Emma tried to ask her where she was, but only the screech of her owlish existence came out._

 _As if on cue the world melted around her, and she was human again, being pulled by an unseen presence, it was strong and the hand around hers burned. Emma felt the soft ghosting tips of finger, or was it tongues? She couldn't tell, but they covered every inch of her body, she could hear her moans and cries, feel the excitement flowing free from her best kept secret._

 _Emma knew she'd orgasmed when she saw stars instead of shadows, and she began to feel very heavy like something was squishing her without killing her or crushing her, then she felt light as a feather. Her world was overtaken by bright blue, she thought she could smell the incensed aroma that was briefly familiar, Lily, she could see her._

"Emma," Lily looked so scared, Emma blinked heavily, the room was dark, it was night, how long had she been out? "Holy shit, thank fucking Christ!"

"What the hell?" Emma croaked, her throat dry.

"Get up, _now_." Lily said, pulling her to a stand. "Your mom is freaking the fuck out!"

"What? She's here?" Emma sobered, Mary Margret is going to kill her.

"No, she called like fifty times, she's on her way. God, she gave you the fucking tea didn't she?" Lily pulled her hair up into a bun.

"What tea?" Emma licked her mouth, tasting dirt.

"My mother! Her fucking psych tea!" Lily exclaimed, pulling Emma into the bathroom. "Okay, puke."

"I don't want to." Emma shook her head, she'd puked enough. Lily grabbed her and shoved two fingers down her throat. Emma felt the familiar rise of bile, and leaned over the toilet to let it flow, mostly liquid as she hadn't been eating well that day.

"Sorry." Lily replied, handing her mouthwash and a stick of gum.

"What the hell?" Emma swished it then spit, taking advantage of the gum soon after.

"Just needed to get it out of your system so you don't trip out as hard later."

"There's more?" Emma blinked.

"Oh, yeah, first time? Forget about it, I remember the first time I drank that shit, I wasn't right for a week!" Lily chuckled. "She makes it _way_ stronger now, she has way to high a tolerance," She patted Emma's shoulder as the doorbell rang. "Come on, your stuff is by the door." Lily pulled her down the stairs. The girl pulled open the door to a pissed off Mary Margret, who looked about ready to tear off the heads of a few kittens. "Hi!"

"Hello, where's Emma?" She said, short.

"Right here, sorry, we were doing make over's and lost track of time." Lily laughed and pulled Emma into a tight hug. "Good luck, call me if it's bad."

"I uh, bye." She laughed and ran out the door into Snow's car. "How was your day?"

"Emma, what are you doing?" Snow asked, she could see right through her daughter's bull. "Whose clothes are these?"

"Lily's , I forgot pajamas." She told. "I'm just waiting for you to drive us back."

"Yeah, okay. Why didn't you call me last night? Or this morning? Do you think that's okay?" She started the engine.

"I didn't mean to, I forgot we were having fun, I'm sorry."

"Are you doing drugs? Your pupils are dilated, Emma I swear if you are doing drugs," She shook her head.

"No, I'm not!" She squeaked.

"Stop lying to me."

"I'm not, I swear." Emma said, looking her in the eyes, but not being able to hold the contact. "You don't believe me."

"No, I don't." She let out a humorless laugh. "I can't even, I don't know what to say, Emma."

"Are you going to send me away?" Emma whispered.

"Emma, you know that is not going to happen, don't think I'm going to feel bad for you just because you play that card, it's not working."

 _Fuck, she knows all the tricks._ "Alright." Emma said as they pulled up into the drive.

"Go sit in the kitchen." Mary instructed, Emma did so and sat in the dimly lit room, it was like the night she came home late times ten.

"David, no she's doing drugs, her pupils are the size of Coke cans!" Emma could her her mother's voice.

"I'm sure she's fine." David said back.

"Don't downplay me! I know what drugs look like!"

"I'm not, you just worry too much." David replied, entering the room with a flashlight. "Hey kid." He turned her chin up and flashed the light in her eyes. His brows raised when he found them severely dilated and bloodshot. "So you were right."

Mary Margret hit his arm and muttered an insult before sitting extremely close to Emma, who scooted away. "Spill." Was all she said.

"Spill what?" Emma croaked, laughing nervously.

"Was it acid? LSD? Mushrooms?" David listed.

"Tea, I don't know it was tea, really weird tea." Emma shook her head. "I didn't know, I swear." She defended.

"Who gave you the tea? Was it Lily?" Snow began.

"No, I just took it out of the cabinet, it was the only one they had besides licorice," Emma lied, they did have licorice tea, certainly.

"She keeps drugs laying about!" Mary Margret exclaimed. "I knew there was something off about her. I don't like this, David."

"No, stop, she's a psychic, it's awesome she told me about my life and it was true!" Emma recalled her words. "She said you were keeping secrets, is that true?"

"No, are you serious?" Snow went off, her face turning red.

"Mary Margret," David sighed. "Please, let's just sleep on this. Emma are you tired?"

Emma shot him a glare. "Yes."

"Go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow." Emma stood slowly, she could smell his shade as she shuffled out of the room and up to her room. The blonde collapsed onto the bed and pulled out her phone, it was charged but she couldn't remember ever plugging it in. She sighed and slipped out of the window, onto the roof, and dialed Regina.

"Hey," She said once the woman answered.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Could be worse, I'm in so much trouble." She sighed.

"They found out about last night?" Regina replied, feeling bad for the girl.

"No, worse, after I went to Lily's her mom gave me this, this drug tea, and I guess I went on a trip, Mary Margret had been calling me all day, but I was _gone._ "

"Drug _tea_?" Regina laughed. "You just can't win."

"Tell me about it, but I'm fine now, Lily said I'll have episodes for the next couple of days, so that'll be fun." Emma laughed, just to hear the sound. "I'm sorry again."

"What do you mean?" Regina asked, truly shocked.

"Nothing, I just am." Emma smiled. "I'm going to sleep though, if they don't kill me tomorrow, they'll probably be sending me to therapy."

"Well, here's to hoping." Regina laughed. "Goodnight Miss Swan."

"Goodnight, _Miss Mills."_ Emma retorted, hanging up the phone. She lingered outside a moment, enjoying the cold breeze that nipped at her bare skin, before skipping back inside.

 **So, yay! I love this drama, about Emma's trip I didn't really try to hard, so it's lame, get out! I'll try to update before too long, I'm glad to see you guys liking what I'm putting down!**


	11. Chapter 11

**My writing this fiction had gradually gotten weirder. Lots of love to you all! Thanks for almost 100 follows!**

The alarm blared, Regina groaned at the awful sound, in that moment there was no uncertainty that it was the bane of her existence. With a heavy groan she pushed it off her nightstand, that shut it up.

 _Monday again,_ she thought as she flung her legs off the bed and walked into the bathroom. She got light headed and tripped up into the threshold, but didn't fall. This in it's own was surprising, it had become ritual that she would fall at least once on Monday mornings. Thank God she lived alone or her guise of undeterred grace would be compromised.

The brunette turned on the shower without turning on the lights, she truly hated fluorescents, and went for showering in the dark if she had any say in the matter. Regina waited until the temperature was just right, a little on the cold side while still providing enough warmth to sustain a climate change from the outside world. She washed her hair, still half asleep as the foamy creme scented bubbles fell into her face. Wash, rinse, repeat and she reluctantly offed the system, now feeling somewhat refreshed and ready for the day.

Flicking through her mass amounts of clothing articles, she chose something professional but not uncomfortable; charcoal slacks and a navy turtle neck, then to top it all off navy kitten heels. Regina always loved the way heels sounded when she walked, it made her feel powerful and like she could kill the nearest bystander with just a glance. That was the attitude she wanted everyday, so she always wore heels.

On her way out of the door her phone hummed with a new message, she didn't get to read it until she reached the elevator. It was from her latest client, though she was hardly a client now.

 _Goodmoring, sunshine! Call me when you can, I have something to ask you._

Regina smiled and pressed the call icon at the top of the screen. It rang five times, then there was an answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's Regina."

"Oh, hey! Wow, you are up early." Athena laughed.

"I could say the same to you, dear."

"I suppose that's true, so I was wondering," She trailed off.

"Yes?" Regina grinned.

"Right, so I have tickets to this festival and I wanted to know if you'd like to join me." She ran off.

"When is it?"

"It's tonight and tomorrow night, but the passes are only good for one. So, you know, either way."

"So, music or food? I want to know what I am getting into." Regina chuckled.

"Yeah, of course. It's both, the food is great, too. I went last year and really enjoyed myself. The music is kind of underground but really good, since it's not just one style, it's just, it's really cool I can't explain." She rambled.

"In that case, yes." Regina said with a smile, the elevator door opened and she strode out.

"Really? Yay!" Athena cheered. "So, tonight?"

"Tonight would be lovely, I look forward to it."

"As do I, I'll pick you up around 7, cool?" She asked.

"Yes, _cool_." Regina iterated. "Until then, dear."

"Until then. Goodbye." Athena finished and hung up the phone. Regina smiled to herself, she had a date tonight.

At the office she arrived early, the receptionist, Violet, just stirring up her morning brew. The woman looked up and glared, this had become routine. Regina smirked and raised a brow at the older woman and made way to her office. Upon entering she found her door to be unlocked, which was odd, she always made sure to do so herself. She almost, _almost_ , jumped when she saw David Nolan sitting in one of her chairs, typing up a storm on his smartphone.

"Chief Nolan, what are you doing?" She asked, closing the door behind her, following the path to her desk, she set her purse and keys down on it.

"Sorry, I just wanted to be sure to catch you. I didn't mean to intrude." David said, turning off the device so it went dark.

"It's fine. What's the problem?" She asked, taking her seat, folding her hands to show he had her full attention.

He looked at her water bottle then his eyes flicked back up to hers. "It's Emma, she got into some trouble this morning, and I don't really know what to do. I've not had to deal with teenage girl's in such close proximity since high school." He laughed.

"What happened?" She asked, already knowing full well, but he didn't know that part, he didn't need to.

"I don't know, she was with this friend and didn't call, turns out they were doing drugs or something, she's not really been great with the details, but it's pretty clear what went down."

"I see, and you're afraid this will become habitual?" She asked, he nodded.

"I don't want her to go down that road, Regina, I know if she does she might not come back." He told her. "There's something else, but you have to promise not to tell Emma."

"Of course not." She shook her head and rested it on her hands under her chin.

"Remember in school, when Mary Margret left to stay with family in Vermont? It was early in Junior year." Regina nodded. "Yeah, well she, she was pregnant."

Regina saw it coming, David and Snow had been pretty active in those early years, but what did this have to do with.. "David, what are you saying?" She shook her head.

"We gave the baby up, she, we couldn't do it, we were just kids, we didn't think we could do it." He said, looking at his hands as her pinched them together. "She found us."

"Who?" Regina asked.

"Emma. Emma is the baby we gave up, Regina, fuck! We did this to her, I can't stop thinking about it, this is all our fault." A tear fell down his cheek.

"Oh my God," Regina whispered. "No, but, no, this isn't your fault. David." He looked up to her, eyes red rimmed. "This isn't your fault, you couldn't have stopped what happened to Emma, it was inevitable, you thought you were doing the right thing." He nodded. "There was nothing you could have done. But you have a chance now, to make up for all the years she didn't have you."

"How? How can we ever make up for that? You know what happened, how could she ever forgive us? We ruined her life before it even began."

"No, you can make up for it, just show her that you want to. Don't be sorry, that will make her feel like a victim, she's not a victim, she's a survivor. That girl is so strong, can't you see that? She tries so hard everyday to be happy because she was _given_ this second chance, by _you."_ Regina said, not holding back at all.

"What do I do? If I can't be sorry what do I do?"

"I can't tell you that, she's your daughter, David, you should know this better than anyone."

"But I don't." Was all he said.

"If I know Emma, all she could ask for is assurance, that you are going to stay by her even if she messes up, like she did this weekend."

"You do." David nodded.

"What do you mean?"

"You know her, she likes you, Regina." He looked up to meet her gaze. "Help me, help me save my daughter."

"I don't," Regina began, her voice cracking. What does he mean? She didn't know how to save Emma, not in the way David so clearly wanted, why was he looking to her for this help?

"Please." He added, his voice as pleading as his words.

"Okay, I can help you." She nodded. "Where do we start?" Regina asked, then cringed at the way she was treating this like some kind of business meeting discussing construction plans and not an actual human being, whom she cared for a bit more than she should.

"Will you see her? She's pissed at us, after this weekend we restricted her to the house, she was less than pleased."

"See her as in a session?" Regina asked.

"No, not unless you think that would be right?" She shook her head. "Maybe take her to I don't know, buy makeup? God, I don't even know what she likes." He bit out.

"Okay, no, it's fine." Regina blurted. "Yeah, I can do that, should I pick her up from school, then go from there?"

"Yes, please, that actually works perfectly, since Snow had open house until six and no one will be home."

Regina nodded in thought. "So does this mean I get half the day off?" She grinned.

David laughed, allowing good humor back into his features. "Yes, I guess it does." He stood. "I should get back, I'm avoiding paperwork again." He said and made way to the door. "Regina. Thank you." He smiled warmly, she nodded, matching his expression. Regina let realization wash over her, Emma had found her family after all these years, and they loved her, she was so lucky. Was it fate? Regina was a firm believer in such things, it honestly brought her more joy than she could suppress in that moment as a wide smile lit up her face. She really wished she could tell this to Emma, she knew how happy it would make her.

But would it? The blonde hadn't exactly been given a great deal of cards, fact for a while it seemed as if they were all stacked against her. No, she couldn't tell her, it wasn't her place, and David had asked her not to. Regina cleared her throat and turned on her computer, she had about six hours until she was due to retrieve Emma, and she was going to get some work done in the mean time.

Emma had gone to school looking exactly as she felt; like shit. With a loose pair of sweats that she assumed we Davids, a beige tank and gray hoodie, she was just the poster child for not giving a flying damn. Lily had been trying to get more than a few words out of her since first period, it was now lunch and Emma had only uttered about ten different words to the girl. In class this could fly as Emma could direct attention to the teacher or whatever assignment they'd been issued. Now it was lunch, and her hoagie wasn't a pliable distraction.

"Emma, I have news." Lily told her. "And now you have to listen to me, so I'm going to tell you."

"Okay." Emma sighed.

"So, Belle is coming up this week, tomorrow actually, and she's really mad at me so I wanted to know if you would come over to soften the blow?"

"Can't, grounded."

"Emma, for real?" Lily groaned. "She's so going to dump me." Lily fell into her arms on the table.

"Why?" Emma asked.

"Okay, so," Lily perked up. "she called me after she got to her dorms on Sunday all mad since she left her school bag here, and her shirt which I'm wearing." Lily opening her knit beige sweater to reveal a silky pink button up with daisies sewn into the collar. "And I didn't really react because, what does she want me to do about it? Yeah, and she thinks I am 'unemotional' and don't love her or some bullshit. But, now she's coming up and I think she's going to dump me and I'm sad because we've been together for almost two years, like, I don't know what to do. This is so stupid." Lily told and looked to Emma who chewed slowly, not knowing what to say, she avoiding eye contact. "Emma!"

"What?" She said, spitting lettuce in her blurt. They both chuckled.

"Help me!" Lily shook her wrist dramatically.

"I'm not good with relationship advice, but you should do some sort of grand gesture, is she into that kind of sappy shit?" Lily nodded slowly, shugging. "Then do that, show her you love her and don't want to lose her."

"Okay, I can do that." Lily turned and sipped her soda. "Oh!" She hit the table, Emma started and spilt her drink.

"Ah! What?" Emma cried, scooting to avoid the leakage as she threw away the now empty can, moving to the oppisite, dry side of the table.

"Who's Regina?" Emma's heart stopped, she was unaware of the flush of her cheeks.

"Uh, what? I don't know."

"Liar!" Lily accused, pointing a finger in her direction. "You said that she carried you out of the party and took you home with her!" Emma scrunched her face.

"Oh, uh, did I say that?" Emma stalled.

"Yes, now tell me all the details! Is she your mystery lover?" Lily oozed.

"God, no! I like her, a lot, actually, but she just thinks I'm a fucked up kid." Emma shrugged. "Plus I think she's seeing someone."

"Oh yes! An older woman? I like it, I like it." Lily nodded. "Wait, _how_ old?"

"Uh, like twenty seven." Emma said quietly.

"Shut the front door!" Lily exclaimed. "Oh my god, and she saw you drunk? Tell me all about it!"

"Uh, it was _so_ embarrassing. I was so wasted and she was on a date when I called. I called her girlfriend the muffin man for an hour and made her take us to get muffins." Emma shook her head and laughed. "Then I couldn't even take off my clothes and she saw me naked and put me to bed naked, in her bed!"

"She's in love with you."

"How do you know?"

"Duh, she ditched her date to help you and took you home with her, showered you, _then_ let you sleep in her bed. What kind of adult does that?"

"I know, but I asked her and she was like 'what else should I have done? Leave you there where you could have been taken advantage of?'" Emma mimicked Regina's strict tone. "Then I told her I thought I was in love with her and get this, she never denied her feelings for me, well she did but I know she is lying because she thinks it immoral or some bull."

"Can I meet her?"

"No! Why would you want that?" Emma blurted.

"To assess the situation." Lily added.

"Maybe." Emma began as her phone began to blare, she went white when she saw the name. "Shit, it's her!"

"Ah!" Lily scooted in as Emma answered.

"Hello?" She said quickly.

"Emma, it's Regina."

"Yeah, duh I have your number." Emma giggled, Lily looked at her with knowing eyes and a smirk to match.

"Right, what time do you get out from classes?" She asked.

"Uh, 1:30, why?"

"I am going to pick you up, I wanted to be sure you looked for my car."

"What? Why?"

"To kidnap you, of course." Regina laughed. "No, but we're going out, wherever you like."

"Okay, what's the catch?"

"Nothing illegal."

"Damn." Emma laughed. "Okay, well sounds fun. I'll see you in a bit?"

"You will." Regina agreed. "I'll see you soon, Miss Swan." And she hung up. Lily sat up and grinned at her friend.

"What?"

"I told you she was in love with you." Lily admitted, Emma laughed and put her phone away, finishing off her food quickly as the bell for fifth period was just going off.

"I doubt it, I'll see you later!" Emma called as they went their separate ways.

Regina arrived ten minutes after final bell, Emma had been standing by the flag pole, wishing she looked less horrible that day. When she spotted the Benz she tried to contain herself and not smile like an idiot, but that wasn't happening. Sliding into the familiar leather seats, she shut the door, on her hair, which was tied up in a ponytail.

"Ow, dammit!" She swore, opening the door and collecting her hair then slamming it once more. "Rude. Hello, how are you?" She went on.

Regina chuckled at her struggle. "Nice. I am well, you look comfortable."

"That's a nice way of saying 'terrible.'" Emma laughed.

"If I had meant terrible I would have said so, I'm not one to beat around the bush." Regina retorted, pulling out in front of an incredibly slow minivan, which honked in return. "Fucker." She uttered.

"People suck at driving around here." Emma commented. "I am happy to not be one of them."

"This is true. But you should consider getting your license, it makes getting places much less taxing."

"Mary Margret told me she wanted me to, but I'm lazy and she basically told me I would be just driving her and Henry around." Emma told.

"Well, of course, while you have your permit, but once you get licensed, you're home free. Did she say what car you would be driving?"

"She said I could have David's truck."

"Emma! What are you doing, you should get this done, then you're golden."

"Eh, so lazy. It's not like I have places to be anyway."

"You could." Regina replied. "You could get a job, make friends." She listed.

"I know where you live." Emma stated.

"Yes, I know where you live, too." Regina laughed.

"I don't think I should drive, since I would only come and annoy you."

"I think you should drive, Emma." Regina grinned.

"Me, too." Emma agreed. "Okay, so where are we going?"

"Up to you." Regina

"Pizza, we should get pizza." Emma decided.

"Pizza it is." Regina turned heading towards the city. She sat in her silence as Emma rolled the window down and lolled her head out into the breeze, she leaned on the sill and closed her eyes. Regina tried to keep her eyes on the road as much as possible but she snuck more than a few glances; the girl was mesmerizing.

It took more than a few minutes, traffic being as heavy as possible at that moment, not that either minded in the least. But, before too long they inched into a place before a small pizza joint that was highly underrated, in Regina's opinion. The pair strolled in and took a seat, only having to wait a few moment when a young waiter clad in jeans and a button up, topped of with a tie, walked up, took their drink orders.

"I love the way it smells in here." Regina gave, inhaling to prove her point. "I used to come here when I was in school and spend all day with my friend, her name was Mal, we would order a pizza and just mass amounts of french fries. It was wonderful."

"Are you still friends?" Emma asked.

"No, no. She moved away a long time ago, I never knew where." Regina shrugged as the waiter returned with a sprite and iced tea.

"Ready to order?" He asked, Regina nodded and told him their request; cheese pizza, house salad, and a side of fries. Accordingly, this place had the best fries, and Emma couldn't leave until she had some.

"Thank you." She said as he left. "Anyway, I never saw her after freshman year."

"Will you tell me about her?" Emma asked.

Regina sighed and went back to the place in her mind where Mal still lived. "We had been friends by default, in first grade no one wanted to be friends with us, we were freaks." She laughed, kids were so rude. "So, we would talk and draw together during recess. Plotting world domination was a feat, we thought we could actually do it. She was an interesting girl, intuitve, it was scary sometimes just how much she could figure with just a look. I remember that when, when my mother was taken away, she had told me to stay with her. When I had asked her why she didn't answer, she just said that I don't want to see it. She really scared me that day, and I was really uncomfortable sitting in her car for so long without speaking. Mal was older, she got her car freshman year and finally everyone wanted to be her friend. But she still hated them, the only person who stepped foot in it was me and her. I was so sad when she left, she never even said goodbye, not really, she left a note though, saying she'd never forget me, that I would do great things." Regina finished her tale with mocking jazz hands. "I think she'd be disappointed."

"Why?" Emma asked.

"I've not done anything great."

"You mean not yet?" Emma continued.

"You're right." Regina agreed, their food had arrived just then and they dug in. "Try the fry." She held one up to Emma, or rather smacked her in the face with it.

"Eh, I'm going to get acne." She said in a mock disgusted accent as Regina wiped the stick on her nose. "Stop!" Emma drew out.

"Then eat it!" Regina urged, Emma grinned as she took the culprit and popped it in between her teeth, chewing slowly as Regina eyed her expectingly.

"This is great." Emma gave finally. The 't' in this sounding much more like a 'd.'

"I told you so!" Regina announced, victoriously.

"Can I ask you something, you don't have to answer but I have to ask?" Emma let out after a few moments of food silence.

"Okay," Regina nodded slowly.

"You said your mother was taken away. Why?"

"Oh, you caught that." Regina's heart rate picked up.

"It was a key exponent in your memorial." Emma nodded. "You still don't have to answer." She repeated.

"Well, I," Regina began but she could feel the emotion picking up, threatening to take over. Some wounds never heal. "Maybe another time."

"Okay," Emma smiled reassuringly as she leaned away from the table. "I need to stop eating so much, I'm going to die." She groaned.

"But what a way to go!" Regina laughed, though it held little humor. "What should we do next?" She asked.

"You should choose." Emma breathed, it was hard enough deciding on pizza.

Regina thought for a moment, before the perfect idea came to mind. "How do you feel about goats?" She asked.

"I mean, they are cute, they eat cans. Right?"

"Some," Regina smiled. "well, I know just the place, ready?" She asked, Emma stood and after they paid and tipped the lovely waiter they were out the door.

 **So, I'll stop here and we'll pick up where this left off next chapter. Goats! Also coming up, Regina's cute date, and Lily and Belle have at it. DragonQueen bff reunion? How could I resist!**


	12. Chapter 12

**So, I've never actually been to Pennsylvania, so my interpretation of geography might be slightly warped. Enjoy! Mistakes are my own, I'm a mess.**

Regina rolled the windows down, as Emma liked it, as she drove out of the city limits. The tree line grew denser.

"Full disclosure, okay?" Emma began, turning from the scenery to face Regina. "This isn't you trying to take me out, right? Because if you're going to murder me, I have some standards."

Regina held back a chuckle. "Oh? Do tell."

"Wait, really?" Emma squirmed a tad.

"Yes of course." Regina replied. "Emma, I am not going to murder you, seriously? I would never get away with that." She finished with a smile.

"Right." Emma said through a baby-wide smile. "Anywho. First, it would have to be somewhere quiet and beautiful, lame, but I am not down to die in a fucking gutter, smelling like straight up rot."

"Understandably." Regina grinned.

"It would have to be painful, but not agonizingly so, like okay," She flipped her braid over her bare shoulder to emphasize her impending tale. "Throat slit, drowning, stuff like that would be.. pretty cool." Emma drew out the last word, nodding along. "Ooh! Bludgeoning!"

Regina laughed a breath, nodding as well as shaking her head. "But why?"

"Well I'm going to die. It'll be the last thing I'll ever feel, and I could deal with the pain knowing it'll be my last taste of it."

"Alright, I dig it." Regina smirked, turning on to a dirt road. "Roll up the window, please." Emma did so as bits of loose gravel hit the surface, Emma seemed entranced with the little nicks they would produce if she stared hard enough.

"Wow, they're beating up your car." She said in a small voice. "Doesn't that make you mad?"

"Yes, increasingly so." Regina joked.

"Did you know that there are hundreds of billions of universes and within those universes hundreds of billions of stars, and if you added it all up then compared it to all the grains of sand on all the beaches and deserts on Earth, the number of universes and stars would be greater." Emma went on, staring at the gravel, jumping back a little each time a pebble would hit the glass. "There's one now."

"That's quite the fun fact, I think I'm going to use that when I wish to fuck with somebody's sense of reality." Regina said, Emma turned slowly and looked at her with wide eyes. Regina looked to her and grinned before turning to the road and back again with furrowed brows. "What?"

"You said a swear." She whispered.

"Yes, you did as well." Regina said. "Fucking gutter." She repeated. "Do you want me to converse with you with the vocabulary of an urban nun?"

Emma laughed fully. "No, I just didn't expect it I thought you were so pure and innocent."

"Did you just call me innocent?" Regina chuckled. "Oh god, that one's going in the books." She laughed harder. "I love it."

"That was.. frightening." Emma mock shuddered, her grin taking over.

"Yes, quite." Regina sighed. "Bird! Peregrine falcon! Did _you_ know that they kill their prey by severing the spinal column at the neck _and_ they can reach dive speeds of up to 200 miles per hour." Regina listed as the gray colored aerial went on by unsuspecting of it's onlooker.

"How can you tell?"

"I know everything about birds, Emma." Regina said seriously.

"Why?" Emma giggled.

"Because I took a course in college and it became a bit of an obsession from there. The professor was a belligerent wad of semen, but he taught with a passion that I just loved."

" _Belligerent wad of semen?"_ Emma iterated before laughing, Regina joining in.

"Yes! The one that stains your sheets, they never smell quite right after that."

"Uh, are we talking about sex?" Emma asked with a cringe in her tone.

"More the outcome of it." Regina retorted. "Why, are you uncomfortable with intercourse?" She teased.

"No! Just I don't want to know of your _encounters!"_ Emma bit out with a blush creeping up on her, she moved her hands to massage her cheeks so the brunette wouldn't notice, but of course she did, and had to intensify it, of course.

"Am I that disgusting?" Regina put a hand to her chest, scoffing.

"No! What? Obviously not considering.." Emma began, covering her mouth. "Ha! No, no, I don't think so. You almost had me there." She clicked and pointed to Regina who wore a stoic expression.

"What _ever_ do you mean, Miss Swan? I don't quite understand your ramblings."

"Stop." Emma groaned for a good ten seconds.

"I can't stop. I am unstoppable." Regina laughed. "I was going to sing Lady Gaga songs but I realized how ridiculous that would have been."

"I think in contrast it would have been as ridiculous as.. as.. fucking concrete."

"As fucking concrete." Regina repeated, as a barn came into view. "Yay!" She squealed. "I am so excited, Emma. I love goats." Regina gripped the wheel tighter and accelerated quickly and Emma was sent back into her seat with a smile. At Regina's racing speed they reached the distant building in record time, the woman offed the engine and jumped out of the car so quickly Emma hadn't even time to unbuckle her seat belt.

Once out of the car, she noticed a significantly greater chill in the air, and went to grab for her coat but it wasn't on her seat as she thought, or in the back. "Regina." She whined.

"Ah, what?" Regina turned, glowing in excitement.

"I left my jacket at the place, and it's freaking freezing." She told. Regina just scrunched her nose and removed her blazer tossing it to Emma, who nearly dropped it.

"Oh thank god." Regina released a breath she'd held since throwing the garment. "That was so expensive." She laughed.

'You could have always handed it to me like a normal person."

"Emma, I live life on the edge! Let's go-at." Regina grabbed Emma's hand and pulled, running in the direction of the barn, still laughing at her pun.

Once inside the off white colored doors, a single gate separated the outside from the in, where goats, pigs, and a few sheep could be seen roaming freely. The pastures outside could be accessed through a swinging double door that looked to be open just enough for any of the animal, except maybe the pigs, to slide through to the freshness beyond.

"Regina!" A man's voice sounded from behind the screen door, an office. When he emerged Emma saw he was nearly seven feet tall, and muscular but not fit or fat. She stared as she tried to place him; she concluded he was just big, but his aura was warm. His shaggy hair was tamed by a backwards trucker hat in navy, the same color as his polo.

"Aw, Emanuel, hello! I wasn't expecting to see you." She hugged the man tightly, he practically covered her with his arms, he made eye contact with Emma for the first time.

"Who's this?" He asked with a goofy grin, Emma just stood awkwardly.

"Emma, why're you so nervous?" Regina asked when Emma didn't speak up, she waved a hand. "This is Emma, I am taking her to the goats."

"She looks a bit young." He looked concerned.

"Ah, it's.. not that." Regina stuttered quietly hoping Emma wouldn't hear.

"I'm just pulling your chain, Regina, go on in. I'll get Karen, I'm sure she'll love to see you." He smiled and pat Regina on the back, she smiled and nodded before turning to Emma.

"Ready?" She gleamed, Emma smiled and nodded, Regina placed a hand on the small of her back as she directed her through the gate. Emma closed her eyes and inhaled, she was too happy to be touched in that moment and she made a face as she almost tripped over a goat.

"I'm sorry!" She apologized as the little mammal ran away. "Aw." She pouted. Regina grinned and grabbed a handful of alfalfa, motioning for Emma to do the same, and she did.

Regina practically pranced towards a little white goat with black freckles over the majority of it's face. "This is Sampson and I love him!" She declared, Emma let out a singular laugh and looked down to see a mop-esque sheep nibbling the grass in her hand, which she opened to give full access. She looked back up to see Regina smiling so wide her cheeks might tear, her hands clasped under her chin as she watched Sampson roll in the dirt.

Regina was on her way home around five-thirty, she'd completely lost track of time, almost totally blowing off her date. She'd rushed Emma home, smelling like the prairie, and was heading to her apartment with that stench settling in to her pores, as well as that of her car. Even with the window's rolled down she could not seem to rid of it, and eventually gave up, a shower could fix this.

Pulling into her parking space, she exited the car and locked it. Heels clicking against the smooth concrete quickly, echoing through the massive garage that resided under her building. When the elevator took too long for her liking, she trekked up the stairs at an incredible pace and slammed the door to her apartment just a violently as she'd flung it open. Regina then made it her soul purpose in life to take the most cleansing shower she could manage.

Thirty minutes later she emerged, scrubbed and smelling like a bag of wonderful beauty, but mostly her almond and honey body scrub, which worked wonders. Drying her hair took around five minutes and after she moved her party into her closet. Since she was only going to a festival she didn't want to dress too fancy, but not casual enough that she would blend in like a commoner, which she was not. So, she decided on a pair of dark wash denim shorts that were just barely long enough to call such, and a knit tank of white, yellow, green, and purple, and for the flare, a sky blue shawl cardigan that reached her mid-thigh. For shoes she went with her old pair of Birkenstock sandals, that she hadn't even looked at since college, but deemed appropriate to be going out with someone around that age.

"Oh god," Regina said as realization struck her like lightening between the eyes. "Is this a mid-life crisis?" She asked, but shook it off. She wasn't even thirty yet! After once-overing her self a final time she added a single coat of mascara and lip gloss, going for the natural look since she didn't really feel a need to over do it. Regina was passing by her mirror when she had second thoughts about her shoes. What if someone stepped on her toes? Nope, she shuddered and went back into the closet where she chose a pair of wedges, she was satisfied with this classy hooker look and after grabbing her purse, she was out the door once more, where she ran into Athena. The girl was clad in a white halter top, olive service coat, and high waisted shorts, Regina smiled.

"Are we cute?" She asked. Athena grinned, picking up her keys which she'd dropped in their collision.

"The cutest, and you smell great, bath and body works?" She asked.

"Yes, it's heaven, thank you. Shall we?" She asked, crooking her arm, which the girl slipped through as they headed towards the elevator. "So tell me, what did you do today?"

Athena groaned, which turned into a short laugh. "I had to drive around my sister all day, after school she had soccer then shopping for class events, which apparently required me taking her to eight different stores. All in good fun, and she paid for dinner."

"She's going to do great things in life." Regina said. "Sounds like fun, at least you keep busy."

"This is true. What about you?"

"I went to work, then was excused from work to have a personal day halfway in. It was nice, we went to see goats."

"Ooh, goats? I love it, super rustic."

Regina was already white-girl-wasted by the time the last set was being played. That's what four bottomless margaritas tend to do to a person. After the first she was already feeling the buzz, and decided it would be a good idea to get her date equally drunk, underage or not, and bought her two drinks that she 'had to finish.'

"I swear I'm not trying to get you drunk I just I just hate drinking alone. Unless I'm sad, but I am not!" Regina grinned, halfway through her third drink.

"What?" Athena blurted, her eyes focused on the band. "Oh my god! I know him! Yes, Regina, let's dance!" She suggested.

"Ah!" Regina squealed. "Heels! They, goodbye." She kicked off her wedges and took Athena's hand, pulling her into the crowd. The pair danced and laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of their actions for a good twenty minutes, then Regina fell. The sight in it's own was hilarious, and Athena couldn't help but laugh incredibly loud before attempting to help her up, but tripping over the woman's foot.

"We are a mess!" Regina cried, trying to speak over the music still blasting.

"I know! I'm, I can't, what is this? Foot!" She ogled over Regina's bare foot pressed against her thigh. Regina curled her toes into her leg, causing her to jump away at the tickling sensation. "No! No, no." She laughed. Regina smiled and stood, she followed the girl back to the table they'd left their cups and discarded shoes in Regina's case.

"I want beer, do you want beer?" Athena nodded and collapsed into the chair, almost tipping it over. "Ha! Okay, beer it is, dear. Ooh! I rhymed." She laughed and headed to the vendor of alcoholics, plucking two Corona's from the cooler, paying, and heading back to the table.

"Thank you." Athena drew out, taking the sweaty drink. Regina watched as she attempted to pop the cap off on the table, failing each time, but she did not look to be giving up anytime soon. She huffed and after one last attempt, threw the offender to the grass. Regina chuckled, opening hers with her teeth in one swift move. "What the heck?"

"Hand me yours." She said, the girl did so and Regina repeated the action. "You loosened it up, no worries." She winked.

"I am weak, my weakness." She slurred, swigging into the beer.

"What are those words?" Regina asked, furrowing her brows.

"Oh my God! Regina," The words lasted too long for Regina's liking. "Wait, I lost it."

"Let me know when it flies back in." Regina smiled.

Athena nodded and took a long drink before her eyes lit up. "Right! Driving, I can't do that." She shook her head.

"Oh, yeah." Regina whispered. "We can walk? No, far, where are you?"

"I'm here."

"No, where you, do you, you live?" Regina made out.

"Oh!" Athena laughed for a good minute. "Wow, I am, no. I live far, really far, by this factory. Dorms. Shitty."

"Hm." Regina contemplated, or tried. "Bus? No. I hate those, cab!"

"Ahha!" Athena pointed to the sky. "Yes, but my car? Precious car, too good for this world, too pure."

Regina did't answer as her eyes raked up the girl's form, her thighs toned and pale, the seemed to glow in the moonlight. Just under her tilted jawline, she had a freckle and Regina's intoxicated pupil's could not look away. Athena had let her head loll back as she took in the righteous wave of confusion that washed over her, but she popped back after a minute, or was it five? Only to see Regina blatantly staring at her and she flustered with an awkward grin.

"Do I look that drunk?" She asked.

"No, you are just very beautiful." Regina kneeled into the grass, her head resting on the thighs of her date, she nibbled on the skin that smelled of peaches and grass. Athena, on the other hand was trying not to giggle at the tickling sensation. "Alright?"

"Huh?" She laughed. "I'm yes, great. Ticklish, sorry." She stumbled, Regina stood with surprising grace and took her hand.

"Come with me." She whispered, and without direction led the girl back to her car, it only took a few minutes, and the certainly didn't remember that by the time they arrived.

Regina pushed the girl flush against the car, she had the height advantage and leaned down to take her lips within hers, where she bit and pulled. To Regina's great surprise, Athena pulled back.

"Regina, I can't." She said, her eyes wide and doe. "This isn't right."

"What do you mean?"

"It just feels wrong, I'm sorry." Athena admitted. "It's not- I don't know, is that okay?"

Regina was more surprised than upset. "You're right. I shouldn't have tried to take advantage." She straightened. " _I_ am sorry, Athena." Regina said, not breaking eye contact.

Athena gave an apologetic smile and nodded, pulling out her phone, tucking a ringlet behind her ear as she attempted to type. Regina gave a small smile and took it from her, calling the cab company, a number which she had memorized by heart, she called for two cabs, they'd arrive within fifteen to thirty minutes. The women sat in silence as they waited, neither knowing quite what to say, or what to say that wouldn't add any further tension. Regina, though, didn't care at this point and prepped to ask the question she'd been waiting to since the moment she met the girl.

"Are you straight?" She asked. "Wait, that came out, just _wrong_ , but I don't get the impression that you are interested in women."

Athena straightened up on the hood of her car and scrunched her nose in thought. "I don't." She admitted. "I just, thought I could or did."

"Why?"

"It kind of hit me that I've never had an orgasm, with the guys I'd been with, it was _really_ pissing me off. So I thought that another woman would understand and be able to, give me that." She motioned with her hands. "It's fucking stupid, I don't even know why I called you, why I even had your number still, but I did. I don't even, don't even know."

"I see." Regina said, feeling bad for the girl, clearly confused and frustrated. "You could have just told me that to begin with. Save this," She sighed heavily. "complication and we could have resolved your issue quite simply."

"Not exactly the way I prefer starting my conversations." She laughed dryly.

"I had told you from the beginning I am not here to judge you, did you believe that?"

"I know you believed that." Athena answered, staring straight ahead.

"I did, because it's true." Regina stared at the girl's profile, waiting for her to look her way. "However, that wasn't my question."

"That was my answer, I didn't know what to believe I don't know why I called you, or went to your house, or told you all of this, I don't know why we're here right now!"

"Yes you do." Regina sighed. "These words you are saying have no meaning, I know that, so do you. Come on, we don't have endless time."

Athena looked at Regina a mix of defeat and fire in her eyes. "I believed you, I wanted to have mind blowing and kinky sex with you, I still do, but just that. Is that bad?"

Regina smirked in satisfaction. "That's wonderful. Because _that_ I can do."

Upon her return, she found the house to be devoid of residents. Emma shrugged and headed straight up to the shower, sick of the smell that still lingered in her clothes, her hair, just everywhere. Peeling off her loose garments she turned on a cold spray, she'd picked up a habit of beginning her shower off cold and gradually turning the knob for the warmer as she went on. After a few long minutes of standing and swaying along with the ever steady pitter of the stream as it hit the porcelain of the tub, she heard the door slam, and was pulled from her trance, only now beginning the process of washing her hair and body.

Emma stepped out after a few minutes, the sway that once compelled her didn't take on the same affect as it previously had when she tried to fall under a second time. After having such a lovely day, she couldn't reason how her mood had fallen in solemn contempt just stepping foot in the house. She tried to shrug it off, but like a bad smell it was adamant to stick with her for however long it would. Slipping into a pair of navy and white cotton plaid shorts and a red, white, and black poncho hoodie that she had picked up at a flea market a few days prior with Lily, who got the same but in a yellow, green, and white mixture. Now comfortable, Emma debated whether or not to go downstairs, holding on to the golden knob fiercely. She laughed weakly and shook her head, she was being ridiculous, these people were her family, right?

Downstairs it was dark, artificial light was kept to a minimum as the last remnants on sunlight dripped in through the shutters. Emma followed the path to the kitchen, the apparent hotspot preferred by the clan, she found it to be empty, and the same results came when searching the entirety of the downstairs. Confused, she thought she must have been hearing things, until the floorboards above her creaked under the pressure of feet.

Emma sighed, and headed upstairs where she stood by the door to the master bedroom, her hand pressed against it as she decided against knocking, snooping was always a fun alternative! Muffled voices could be heard, and she recognized them as Mary and David, not knowing who else she expected, and they didn't sound entirely chipper.

"David, you can't be serious, I thought we were going to wait!" Came Mary Margret's scolding tone.

"Why would we wait? It'll never be easier." He said, sounding defeated. "Snow, you know that it's best to tell her, don't you trust her? It's not like she going to run away, she can't!"

"It's not her I don't trust David, it's us. Me." Her voice cracked. "I was her mother and I gave her up. Imagine what she must think of me, she'll hate me and I can't blame her, I can never make up for this."

" _We_ gave her up." David assured. Emma stood by the door with furrowed brows, not knowing what to make of the situation unfolding before her. Sure she could read between the lines, but what she was inferring seemed to far fetched, she didn't want to stick around to catch the outcome.

Running probably wasn't the best idea, but it was the only one that made sense, she wasn't ready to have the conversation that would await if her inferences proved true. Emma tiptoed to her room and snatched up her bag, filling it with clothing for the night and next day, quickly shoving it in and zipping it shut, rather violently in her haste. She felt a looming presence before she could even turn around, when she did she saw Mary, leaning against the doorway with red rimmed eyes, her face hardly visible through the dark, and the only light lay behind her in the hall.

"Where you going?" She asked weakly.

Emma's eyes widened slightly but she realized she had a slight upper hand, not that she was going to play it against the woman, _her mother_? "I am going to go to Lily's." She said quietly. "No drugs this time." She said.

A small fight lit up the woman's eyes and as she opened her mouth the detest, she nodded instead. "Okay." She agreed. "Need a ride?"

Emma shook her head, the thought of a car ride with the brunette sounded just as appealing as eating a roadkill pigeon with a side of tartar sauce. "No thanks, I can, um," She fixed her hair behind her ear. "walk, it's a nice evening." She choked out.

"Emma," She began, she could tell something was up and she knew exactly what. So the truth comes out after all. "I'm sorry."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Emma brushed past her and tried her best not to bolt down the stairs, but the house was suffocating her, her lungs felt about to implode and as she flung open the door she broke into a dead sprint. The chill of the air had intensified with the growing, and now almost complete darkness, and it nipped at her bare legs, reddened her cheeks. Not that she minded, the bite of the cold seemed to be bringing her new life and perspective, forgotten was her life of misery, her self loathing. Somehow in this moment she had reached a point of extreme clarity, she realized that this was her life, and she could start over, she wouldn't be that orphan girl who everyone pitied. Pitied for something that she had no say in, pitied for something that was out of her control, and pitied for a title that she didn't want, the title that was embroidered into her skin, until now.

Now, she could be Emma, and with this new sense of self she could do whatever she wanted with this title, she was a blank slate.

After _almost_ getting run over in her haste, she reached Lily's house, and knocked loudly in no apparent patter. A minute later, it crept open to reveal the girl herself, who wore a frown until she recognized her friend and swung the door open to reveal herself in her poncho and a pair of spandex.

"Look at us, fucking soul mates." She said proudly and moved aside so Emma could enter. "What's up? You look like a cherry." She pinched Emma's cheek, Emma huffed.

"I ran here. Felt nice." She said the last bit with a bit of an exasperated sigh.

"Sounds fun, so I have news." Lily began. "Did you get my text?" Emma just looked confused. "Come on, I messaged you like seven times!"

"I'm sorry! I was busy, I don't even think my phone is charged." Emma pat her pocket, to find her cellular not in such place. "Okay, well, whatever, tell me!"

"Ugh!" She let out. "So my freaking mother has been having visions about an old friend of hers, and she thinks she in some kind of 'peril' and I haven't seen her all day."

"Does she do this often?"

"Enough that to the point where I'm no longer surprised, but she's never just disappeared on my like this, I've called her like, fucking thirty times, and nothing."

"So you don't know where she went?" Emma asked, not surprised, Mal was, a character, to say the least.

Lily ran her fingers through her hair, which hung loose. "Some festival, I don't know, it's downtown." She thought about it. "Maybe we can get there."

As the others, the specter came as soon as it was gone with hardly enough time to make out what was happening, but she understood. Mal came back to the lucid world and took a sip of her tea, it helped to appease her, she wanted to ignore this, but she knew she couldn't. Having the visions was her gift and with this gift came the responsibility to help those who needed it. And now, that her friend was in true danger she couldn't sit back and let the opportunity to change fate slip through her grasp as it had before.

So, she stood and walked in soul determination up the stairs to Lily's room, where she was just getting ready to wake for the day.

"Lilith." She said gravely, with a hint of fear. The girl stirred and turned away from her. "Lily. I need to go. A-a friend of mine is in great danger and I am going to help this time." She told, before kissing her child on the temple.

 **SO. I'm sorry for this delay and I don't know what's wrong with me but I lost a bit of touch in this chapter, I blame Athena, good thing she's gone! Next update things will start picking up and it will all be dandy!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Mistakes are my own.**

" _I am really lame for this but I don't really know what else to do. So, here I am, making a journal about unrequited love. Gag me with a spoon._

 _So, I feel like I should be formal, here goes._

 _My name is Emma Swan, I am sixteen years old, I like in Philadelphia, which is in Pennsylvania, and I don't understand life in any way shape or form. That may sound like I'm blowing up my perspective but I am so serious. Ever since I could form a coherent thought my life has been one big question with little to no answers. An ever expanding list that just keeps getting longer, soon I feel like I'm just going to explode. I wish I could answer my own questions, that would make things so much easier and I probably wouldn't be so fucked up._

 _God, I am SO fucked up, it's almost funny. My life doesn't even seem real. If I walked up to some random stranger and told them my life story they might think I'm lying, or reading a script to a sappy interpretation. It is funny, it really is._

 _Well, I'm drawing this out, I'm thinking too much I forget that this isn't a conversation, no one is going to read this and I don't have to make any sense if I don't want to. Fuck it, I think I found my real parents. Oh my god, it really hurts me to say that because I don't know what to do with the information. Am I happy? Of course, but that's not the emotion that sticks out the most. It's anger, fear, sadness. I can't even choose, they're all there, and spiraling out of control. I hate feeling, emotions, all of it I wish I could shut it off I don't need this, I don't deserve this._

 _Anger, yeah, I'm angry that they gave me up and I'm angry they're hiding it, how long have they known? This is so crazy, how did I just run up to a random building and there she is, my mother. My mother who I've cried about and wondered about my whole entire life. It was easier to think that she was dead, because at least then I knew she wasn't off living without me, and I was here, or wherever I was, living without love, real love. I'm angry now, too. She has two more kids. One of them isn't much younger than me, so that means that he was good enough and I wasn't? That hurts, that hurts so much how could she? Isn't a mother supposed to sacrifice her happiness for her child because she loves them? Ha, what do I know about mothers? Nothing, nothing._

 _Nothing._

 _I'm afraid of what will happen when they tell me, will things change? I've also been lying to them, about Regina, about Lily, and I haven't even been here long enough to run out of conditioner. I can't escape it, I'm prone to a life of misery._

 _God, I am so sad. I'm sad because now that I found them, they love me, and I don't think I can love them. How could I? They gave me up and no amount of anything could make up for that. I wish it could. I guess it could. I don't know, I don't know what I want. I don't want to forgive them, but I don't want them to think I won't because what if they send me away? They adopted me but I would send me away, I've fucked up three times over since I got here and they're so perfect, how are we related? But if I forgive them it's like they never did anything wrong and there's no justice! They don't get to get off on my misery and receive no punishment. Not that I could punish them in any physcial or legal way, but I have them wrapped around my finger in an emotional aspect._

 _They think I'm getting better, sending me to therapy like it's going to do anything except victimize me and make me feel like an outcast. No one else is in therapy! They want me to fit in and be like other kids but they send me to a shrink and then, THEN they take away my only friend! Lily, she's crazy, though. There's something about her that makes me feel less like a fuck up and more like a person, a kid, because she's almost as screwed as me. I love her, she gets me, or at least the me that she knows._

 _The me that she knows. That says a lot more than I wish it did. Now, I think the whole idea of 'oh she builds up walls to keep people out' is a bunch of bullshit, because it's more like a mask. I wear a mask, it's probably a barbie doll or some kind of cliche teen who gets fucked dirty and drinks her liver into a new body. That's not me, but I can't say that either because who am I anyway, I'm here then I'm there, the only time I feel like a part of the world is when I'm with Regina._

 _She's a whole new ball game. I don't know where to start, I could go for days. I'm in love with her. I think love is gross and scary and I don't want it. Well, I didn't want it, not like this. I wanted to be part of a family, that love, but I hated the kind of love that came with sex and romance because I didn't think it existed. Just a sham to get people to marry and have kids so the government could divide sovereignty over them. No, it's real and now that I found it I don't want to give it up._

 _But, I do, because she'll never love me. The first time I saw her it was like the world stopped and she was there, and that was it. Everyone else melted into the back, I felt warm, and my ears got fuzzy. I know it wasn't just me, because if it was she would have looked away. But she didn't, even when I did, she kept staring and looking at me, into my soul like she just knew all the horrors that dwelled within and she wanted to see them._

 _It was the most intensely wonderful moment of my life, I wish I could go back in time and relive it over and over again because it was that great. But now, I don't know what we have. I think she hates me, or just thinks I'm a stupid kid who's broken and needs fixing. I do, but I want her in a way that she'll never want me. She has to know, of course she does, she's smart and beautiful and I make it too obvious. If I blush one more time in her presence I will lose my mind, it's not cute, Emma, you need to stop._

 _Everything she does is magical, really. She could break my arm, or shoot me in the shoulder and I would still think she could do no wrong. She can't. I wish she felt the same. I wish she was with me, even if it's only for a day. I love to be with her, even as a patient, she makes me feel special, and she's so weird. So weird and dorky and cute, ew! GOD I HATE HER, REGINA I HATE YOU AND I WISH YOU DIDN'T EXIST BECAUSE YOU'RE SO PERFECT AND I CAN NEVER HAVE YOU AND NO. No, just no, but still yes. She's such a freaking weirdo and I love it, it only makes me love her more. I'm so pathetic, I can't believe this is my life. But it is and I just-_ "

"Emma." Lily swung on the doorway and into the room where Emma was buried into a composition book.

"Ah, what!" Emma sat bolt upright and slammed it shut. Lily smirked and jumped onto the bed beside her, reaching for the book and Emma yanked it away. "No, Lily please."

"Why? What is it?" Lily asked, slinking back.

"It's just something I needed to write before I exploded into a million pieces, please, just don't ask. I'll tell you when I'm ready." Emma rubbed her shoulder blade as Lily sighed.

"Okay, no biggie. So, you hungry? My mom left the keys to her Saturn and we could go get something." Lily twirled Emma's hair on her thumb.

"Um," Emma didn't see she was blushing, but Lily did. "Yeah, I yeah, we could go get some pizza or whatever you like."

"How about we go to Auror, it's a really fancy place that serves, like, Greek food or something, I don't know. I went there with Belle once and it was great. We could insult them by wearing our pajamas." She raised her brow, gesturing to her checkered black and white cotton bottoms and gray zip up hoodie.

Emma chuckled before stretching out to touch her toes. "Alright, let's go."

"Yes!" Lily hopped off the bed into a pair of Zebra print slippers, tossing Emma's converse at her.

Mal's eyes were focused on the road ahead as she drove like a bat out of hell towards the grounds in question. She couldn't remember the name, but she knew where she was going. Regina, she had to find Regina before she- she.

"Fuck." Mal floored the gas, her engine roared and she swerved around the cars around her before turning off on exit 78.

"I am never drinking again." Athena groaned, throwing up onto the pavement as Regina rubbed her back.

"Funny, I said that after halloween my sophmore year, first time I ever got sick and called the girl that I liked and told her how I felt. Yeah, she was straight."

Athena choked out a laugh before spitting. "That's great, the same thing happened with every guy I liked in high-" Just as she was wiping her mouth, screams could be heard followed by a loud shot. "Was that a gunshot?" Regina nodded her head, as if she could ever forget that sound. She was about to speak again when another shot sounded just behind them, followed by a scream from the girl beside her. Regina's eyes opened wide as she saw the girl clutching her stomach, falling to the ground. Footsteps retreated loudly as morw shots and screams could be heard in the distance, but they weren't all that far away.

Regina saw the wound, saw the blood staining the girl's shirt, there was so much blood, so much and it was coming so fast. "I don't know what to do. I don't know, I- I- oh my God."

Regina put her hand to the source, she took off her shawl and pressed it over, she thought that would help, the pressure. The girl remained silent aside from small cries.

"This- hurts- so much- worse than I thought-t it w-would." She choked out, Regina shused her. "Oh my god, Regina I'm going to die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die."

"Stop it! I'm not going to let you die." Regina cried.

"No, I can't feel my legs, my face, my-" She faded a bit. "Why is it so fucking hot? Ah," A tear fell down her face. "I don't want to die here."

Regina looked around aimlessly as she saw headlights, and she tensed when the car stopped next to her, the engine didn't stop but the door flew open. The woma who emerged had a face she could never forget. "Mal?"

Mal didn't reply as she rushed down to the bleeding girl. "We need to get her to the hospital, help me." Regina nodded and they lifted Athena up and into the back seat of the car, Regina sat in back to keep pressure on the would. Mal slammed the door before jumping behind the wheel and rushing off.

"What's going on, Mal? What are you doing here?" Regina's voice sounded weak, weaker than it had in so long.

"I saw you." She said, making a sharp left.

"What the fuck does that mean? Where do you get off disappearing for over a decade and then coming back like you're some kind of fucking hero? Huh, what the fuck is this?"

"Regina, dear, kindly shut up until we get this bleeding child out of my car. I'm stressed out enough and your noise isn't helping any."

If Regina wasn't the only thing keeping Athena alive, she would reach up and hit Mal, hit her for all she'd done, all the pain she'd caused her. It wasn't too long after that they were outside the front of the emergency room, Mal rushed out to the door and together they pulled the girl out and inside the glass door.

"Help!" A nurse rushed to them, followed by another with a wheelchair. "She was shot, we kept pressure on the wound but she clearly lost a lot of blood." Her shirt, once white, was now a deep red in most if not all places.

"Stay here, we need to fill out an incident report." The nurse in purple scrubs said, running after the others as Regina nodded and took a seat in the uncomfortable chairs that seemed to be traditon. She looked up with teary, bloodshot eyes, at Mal, who stood with her arms crossed and tapping her boot clad toe.

"Stop staring, it makes me twitch." She said, not looking over to the brunette.

"Fuck you."

"Hm. You're very repetetive, very unlike you."

"You don't know me, not anymore." Regina growled.

"Oh, that's where we would have to disagree. I know you _very_ well." Mal sighned and turned to face the woman who had her head in her hands.

"You're so smug, stop it. It's pissing me off and I'm already having a-" Her voice broke and she inhaled sharply. "A very bad day."

"Mm." Mal grunted, sitting beside Regina and crossing her legs. "Tell me about the girl."

"Athena?" Regina ground out, sighing once she saw that she wouldn't get anywhere arguing with the blonde. "She's a very nice girl, we went out a couple of times, she was confused about her sexuality and-"

"No, not that girl. Emma."

"Emma, uh, how do you know Emma?"

"I see her in you." Mal replied. "And she is friends with my daughter."

"You have a daughter?"

"Yes, Lilith."

"Yes, I've heard about her. She brought Emma to a party and left her, drunk as ever in the grass." Regina told.

"Yes, Lily is a mess of a girl. Guess that I'm to blame for that." Mal let out.

"I guess so." The nurse returned with the report and told Regina to fill it out, she didn't say anything about the condition of her date as she rushed off. There was blood on her clothes. Regina filled out the report and left it on the seat as she stood. "Let's go. I don't want to stay."

Mal raised her brow before following suit, adjusting her dress and heading out. Regina looped her arm through her old friend's as they made way to the car.

"Hold on." Mal said as she pulled out a vial from her glove box. She took the purple powder in onto her long black nail and put it to her nose before inhaling. She sniffed once before closing the vial and placing it back into it's place. Regina looked disgusted.

"What the fuck? What was that?" She asked.

"Not sure." Mal replied. "But I like it."

"This is who you are now? A drugged up Stevie Nicks look alike?"

"Something like that." She started up the car and pulled out. "I'm safe to drive, just so you don't ask." Regina opened her mouth. "Please, don't say anything else until we get home."

Regina wanted to argue, and tell her that she wanted to go home, that she didn't want to look at Mal any longer, but she didn't.

"Emma." Mal said.

"Yes." Regina replied.

"She loves you." Mal went on.

Regina sighed. "I thought you didn't want to talk."

"Not if you were going to scold me." Mal chuckled. "I missed you. Despite popular belief, you missed me, too."

"I did." Regina nodded. "Where have you been?"

"Maine, once I found out I was pregnant I just couldn't stay."

"Oh, and she's okay?"

"No, my daughter is a mess. Her life is like a tornado, I hoped that her lady Belle would help steer her clear of disaster, but seems I was wrong."

"I'm sorry."

"Everyone has to learn somehow."

"Okay."

Emma and Lily ordered a platter of foods they couldn't pronouce and even flirted their way into a bottle of champagne. Now, halfway through they were both a bubbly as the drink and laughing like what they were doing wasn't illegal. Emma had just thrown a piece of meat at Lily when the girl's phone rang.

"Hello?" Lily answered. "Wow, nice of you to call. No, no, I just thought you were dead is all. I know. Okay. Yeah, she is. Mhm. Bye." Lily rubbed over her face.

"What's wrong?" Emma asked, swallowing.

"My mom, she just got home. Wants us back with her car as soon as possible."

"Well we can finish our food first."

"Let's just go, I doubt we can afford this anyway."

"Lily, what?" Emma started to panic. "No, that's illegal!"

"Exactly, it's fun. Okay, come on." Lily jumped up from the table and ran out of the building, Emma following close behind. Once in the car, they were noth breathing heavily, Lily was laughing but Emma wasn't. "Don't be a buzzkill." She said, punching the blonde and zipping out of the lot.

"I'm not, I just don't need to get arrested." She said, buckling up.

"Well, that's not going to happen." Lily replied.

"Maybe not today, but if we keep this up something is bound to happen."

"Yeah, okay." Lily replied. They drove in silence and before too long were back where they started. Emma and Lily skipped to the front door and opened it, not too long after they were attacked by the overwhelming scent of inscense and that horrible tea. "Mom!"

"Kitchen." Mal's voice came, Lily and Emma followed it. They flooded into the room to see Mal, puffing on something they couldn't identify, and a woman they didn't know poured over the table.

"Who's the chick?" Lily asked, gesturing toward the woman.

"Regina." Mal told, blowing out smoke. "She's had a day."

"Huh. So that's what you disappear for?"

"Yes."

"Why?

"I don't need to explain myself to you, Lilith, now if you can't be civil, go upstairs. You're giving me a headache." Lily muttered somehting under her breath and pushed out of the room, Emma turned to follow her. "Emma." Emma turned around.

"Uh, sorry, my parent's were being-"

"No, I don't mind you being here. I just want you to talk to Regina."

Emma's throat closed. "Why?"

"You know eachother, don't you?"

"I don't know, I know a Regina but, not this Regina."

"Hm, okay." Mal replied.

"So what?" Emma asked.

"Nothing, you don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

Emma scrunched her nose and nodded. "Okay, goodnight?"

"Indeed." Mal replied, sipping her tea.

Emma nodded once more before heading out of the room, and up the stairs.

"I never thought you the shy type, Regina." Mal chuckled.

"I'm not. I'm not in the mood for this." Came her muffled voice. "I'm her consoler, she can't see me like this, I will never be able to help her."

"Really?"

"Really." Regina replied.

"Mm. Okay, tea?" Mal offered.

"Is it drugged?" Regina looked up.

"Yes." Mal replied. "I also have juice."

"Tea." Regina replied.

 **I don't really know what I'm doing right now, it's very cold and the cold makes me do weird things. Development!**


	14. Chapter 14

**So, all my errors are due to me typing super fast and being too excited about what I wrote to go back and read it before I post. I am five, go kiss a juice box.**

 **Anywho.. this is fun! I have no idea where I am going and I have so much to write that I just know this fic is going to either be incredibly long or need a sequel. Probably the first one because sequels hurt my feelings.**

The sun was bleeding in through the shades, too bright. Emma groaned and rolled over, only to hit the body next to her and roll right back to where she started. A bony finger slid out from under the covers and found the home button to the phone that was charging beside her curls. The screen lit up and if Emma wasn't awake before, she was as soon as she read the time.

9:30

She was two and a half hours late to school, her eyes went wide and she pulled her hair up into a bun. _Shit, shit, shit._ She repeated in her mind, shaking Lily so hard she could have gotten whiplash.

"What? Stop!" The girl groaned, turning over.

"Dude, it's after nine, we're so late!"

"So?" Lily muttered.

"So, I'm screwed if my parents find out that I ditched and they already hate me, and my aunt is the principal so they probably already know!" Emma carried on, heart racing.

"Stop." Lily deadpanned, not turning up to face her befuddled friend. "Call them and say you got sick, we ate some bad seafood, or something."

"That's not going to work, I sound fine." Emma rejected the idea.

"I am about to punch you in the stomach, figure it out."

"Why am I even friends with you!" She bounced off the bed and into the bathroom where she brushed her teeth and washed her face before heading downstairs.

The house had a weird vibe during the day, Emma shivered as she wandered into the kitchen, jumping back as a figure stood by the stove, back to her. Her hair was dark, and oddly familiar. Emma cleared her throat and the woman whipped around, Emma's previous suspicions were confirmed when she saw that this Regina, was indeed her Regina.

"Oh." Was all she said.

"Emma, how are you?" She asked, an awkward tension filling the space between them. Emma crossed her arms to cover her chest, it was cold and she wasn't wearing a bra.

"I.. good." She nodded. "What are you doing here?"

"Mal is, an old friend." She answered. "Or something."

"Did you fuck her?" Emma asked, regretting it a second later.

"What, Emma! That's quite the assumption." Regina was taken aback.

"I know, I'm sorry, I shouldn't be allowed freedom of speech in the morning." Emma said quickly, looking around the room, anywhere but at Regina. "This is weird."

"Uh, juice?" Regina asked, holding up a cartoon of mango juice, the label was in a different language.

"Is it safe?" Emma asked, never again will she be too quick to trust anything in Mal's kitchen.

Regina chuckled. "I am pretty sure. Why do you ask?"

"Last time I drank something that Mal made me, well, I don't know how to finish that sentence considering I don't remember what happened."

"The drug tea." Regina answered.

"That was not a fun time." Emma laughed. "I still have dreams."

"Weak." Was all Regina said, as she poured Emma a mug full of juice and passed it to her.

"Thanks." She said and took a drink. "Is that blood?"

Regina's heart rate picked up, her throat went dry, her fingers tingled, as she looked down at her clothing, still caked in blood that began to brown. "It's, not mine." She whispered.

Emma moved closer and took the fabric between her fingers, and twirled it. "It looks cool." She said. "Do you want it still?"

Regina wasn't sure whether she should laugh at the request or scold the girl for the question, but she couldn't bring herself to do either. "No."

"Can I have it?"

"What will you say when someone asks who's blood it is?"

"'It's not mine'" Emma smirked, repeating the words Regina said. "Or I could say 'your first born child's' but that would be a bit much, even for me."

"I suppose it would." Regina replied, holding her gaze a bit too long.

Emma smiled warmly as she met the stare. "Well, don't wash it."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Regina replied, looking over to the stove where a kettle sung. "Why didn't you ask what happened?" She asked, turning the burner down.

"You don't look like you want to talk about it." Emma shrugged. "Am I right?"

"I don't know." Regina answered.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want to talk about it?" Emma chuckled at her forgetfulness.

"I don't know." Regina answered honestly. "I'm not really sure what happened."

"Well, if you want to, I love a good horror story."

"Emma." Regina whispered, leaning into the counter to balance herself. "I uh, did some research on zodiac signs."

Emma broke out in a grin. "Yeah?"

"Yeah, I told you I was a cancer." Regina sighed.

"Are you?" Emma replied.

"No," Regina laughed. "I- I'm not, I lied, I was born in January."

"So why did you say cancer?"

"It was the only sign I knew." She replied.

"So what are you?"

"Aquarius."

"I knew we were compatible." Emma smirked.

"Of course." Regina replied. "And apparently I am an alien who has no emotions."

"Well, all stereotypes have to come from somewhere."

"I am not an alien." Regina crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry I do not compute." Emma replied, finishing off her juice, and moving to refill the mug shaped like a tree.

"Why aren't you at school?" Regina asked.

"Why aren't you at work?"

"Took the day off, your move."

"Didn't wake up on time." Emma crossed her arms.

Regina rummaged through the cupboards before she finally found something that suited her needs. A huge bottle of moonshine. "Don't say a word." She said.

"My lips are sealed." Emma replied. "A bit early, don't you think?"

"Emma, I do what I want when I want to do it, that's the beautiful thing about getting old." Regina preached, pouring herself an actual glass of the stuff, Emma quirked a brow. "No, judging."

"You're going to die if you drink that." She deadpanned.

"I'm going to die anyway." Regina replied sardonically.

"Point taken, but the question is are you going to share?" Emma slid her mug over.

Regina looked at the ceramic tree before humming. "What has my life become, I am about to drink at ten in the morning with a sixteen year old girl who I'm supposed to be shrinking." She unscrewed the cap and poured a good amount into the mug.

"Well, life's a bitch." Emma answered, holding up her mug for a cheers. The glasses clinked and they both downed the alcohol, only Emma cringing at the taste when it first hit her buds. Regina, had her share once the glass was empty and her throat was burning.

"We only drink more if you promise me something." Regina began, Emma nodded. "This never happened."

"But it did."

"Emma."

"Regina." Emma laughed when Regina glared at her. "I'm kidding, okay, what happens in the kitchen stays in the kitchen." She traced her cup with a slender finger.

"Can it be the living room, because I really want to sit on that couch, it makes me feel like a queen." Regina said confidently, sticking her nose into the air.

"Only if I get to cuddle with you." Emma said.

"Deal, but later I am doing your nails!" Regina replied, hopping off the counter and bringing the jug with her. "Onward!" Emma stood and followed to the dark living room where Regina turned on the flat screen, only to find out that there was no cable attachment. "This is bull!" She saw a record player and set it on, it began to play Deptford Goth. "Yes!" She then collapsed onto the couch and took a swoosh of the drink she held. Emma was staring at the wall when she patted the couch between her legs. "I thought we were cuddling, Princess Emma?"

Emma smiled. "Of course, I was just admiring this wall."

"I'm prettier than the wall."

"I know."

"So get over here!" Regina laughed and Emma hopped on the couch and was pulled into Regina's lap, her head on her chest, and the rest of her between her legs. Regina began to twirl her hair through her fingers and hum along to the music. Before too long, she pulled a blanket over them that covered all of Emma aside from her nose and up. Regina took continuous sips from the jug as Emma just sat and enjoyed their warm silence.

"Do you have any tattoos?" Emma asked.

"Hm, yes, on my foot I have a horse."

"Why?"

"I don't even know." Regina laughed, Emma could hear it rise up, she smiled.

"I can hear your heartbeat." Emma nuzzled into her skin.

"Nice to know I'm alive."

"If you weren't you wouldn't know anything." Emma replied.

"Wouldn't I?" Regina went on.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked.

"Well, no one knows what happens and where we go after our mortal sentence. They say energy can't be created or destroyed so what happens to us? We are energy."

"So that lightbulb is being fueled by a dead guy?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I don't know, do you?"

"Well, I asked you, you're the smart one." Emma replied. "Sorry I drooled on you."

"It's okay, drool away, it's just water. But you don't think you're smart?"

Emma laughed. "Not as smart as you."

"You're very smart." Regina answered.

"Okay." Emma smiled. "Tell me a story."

"About?"

"About you." Emma answered. "Something you've never told me."

"Okay, well when I was ten I thought that dragonflies were spies. I would go down to the creek beside our house and try to catch them to prove that they were robots sent down to watch us change and gather intel to report back to men wearing black suits about how I was flat chested and didn't do my homework, or spit in the soup."

"You spit in the soup?"

"Yes, it was quite the scandal." Regina answered.

"What's the worst thing that has ever happened to you." Regina swallowed, Emma could hear her heart start to beat faster and harder. "I'm sorry, you don't have to tell me."

"No, I want to, but you have to promise me you won't tell."

"I promise."

"Okay." Regina's eye filled with tears, so she closed them. "My mother, she was- she was not a good woman. It wasn't the worst thing in the world when she would tie me up naked and take pictures to sell, and feed her.. addiction. No, the worst part of it was when she made me watch. She made sure that I had no choice but to look as she fucked them, the women would always scream and the men, they cried. I'm I- am not making sense I'm sorry."

"What did she do to them?"

"She got off on power. She would pick them, get to know them before she actually got close, and I don't know how or why but she would bring them back to our home, she never drugged them, she wanted them to feel the pain she would inflict. I guess you could say she raped them, but it was so much worse than that. It was personal, I can't explain it right now because I am, I'm fucking drunk, but she would make them cry and beg for death before she even touched them. She ruined it, sex, with my father, she would take him against his will, she would beat him. People think," She laughed rigidly. "people think that abuse is only inflicted on woman, but it's not, god she would hurt him, make a grown man cry. I hated her, I feared for my life around her. My father told me, I could never trust anyone, except for myself. He told me that, that-the-the day he killed her. He killed her, and then he killed himself." Regina inhaled shakily, Emma wrapped her arms around the woman and squeezed her, Regina gripped her hair tight but it didn't hurt. "I wish I could say that it didn't matter, that I moved on and didn't let any of it shadow me. I can't, though, because out of it, my biggest secret was born. I'm so embarrassed, it's, I don't, it's there."

"I'm sorry." Emma said.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for talking without making any sense."

"You made sense."

"No I didn't I don't even remember what I said, Emma." Regina laughed heartily. "God, what? What in the world is this? What am I? Why?"

"Regina stop, are you okay?"

"Emma, help me, please." Regina cried, Emma sat up.

"Are you sick?"

"No, please, please stay with me." She pleaded, and tried to pull Emma back down onto her, Emma lowered herself down and wrapped her hands around Regina's neck, head just under her collarbone. "Thank you." Emma nodded and closed her eyes. Every now and then Regina would sniff, and it was the beat of her hear that reminded Emma she was still there, still real.

"Emma?" Regina whispered.

"Hm?" Emma mumbled.

"Do you love me?" She asked. "Like not as a friend or crazy aunt, but do you love me?"

"I know if you were sober you would not want to know the answer to that question." Emma replied the only answer that made sense. But did it really?

"Ew, that old coot is such a bitch." Regina chuckled lazily. "Please, she won't know."

"Regina." Emma sighed.

"Emma please, please tell me, please, I just need to know that I'm not gone."

"Gone?" Emma asked.

"Emma do you love me?" Regina asked in a serious tone, and Emma was reminded who she was talking to.

"I want to say no." She replied.

"But do you mean no?" Regina pressed.

"No."

"So you do?"

"Stop!" Emma cried, a tear streaming down her face. "Stop, please stop, okay? It's your fault I can't say yes and you know it, because if I say yes then you'll wake up later and it'll be you and you'll say how wrong it is and then you'll never talk to me again and I can't live with that. I can't lose you. Not like that." Emma claimed. "Don't make me lose you."

"But I love you." Regina replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"How?"

"I just do."

"What happens in the living room stays in the living room." Emma assured.

"Cross my heart."

"Okay." Emma replied. "I'm going to take a nap now."

"No, no, please don't, because I think I'm going to throw up soon."

Emma shot up so she was straddling Regina. "Really?" Regina turned green as she nodded, Emma jumped up and took her hand, pulling her into the bathroom that she knew was to the right on the kitchen hallway. Regina just barely made it to the toilet as she retched, spilling a bit onto the purple tiles beneath her bare knees. Emma used the extra hair tie she had to tie up her hair and went to go get some water. When she returned, Regina was lying with her eyes closed, head resting on her arm across the bowl.

"Will you turn off the lights?" She muttered. Emma did so and sat on the counter. "I'm sorry." Regina said.

"Me, too." Emma answered.

 **Kind of fluff mostly, yes?**


	15. Chapter 15

**All the places in this chapter are not real.**

"Nathan Range Memorial?" A deep voice answered the line.

"Hello, my name is Regina Mills and I'm calling for a woman named Athena who was admitted yesterday with a gunshot wound."

"Hold on." He said. Regina bit her lip, she'd been dreading this call all day but what kind of person would she be if she didn't at least call? "She's not accepting calls, ma'am."

"Fuck, well what room is she in? Could I come see her?" Regina pinched her bridge.

"Sorry, her family isn't allowing for that, I could send your regards if you wish." His voice picked up a bit of a sympathetic undertone.

"Yes, Regina Mills, thank you." Regina replied, hanging up.

The shooting at the festival had made all the papers, it's motive as well as the offenders remained unknown. With three dead and over twenty injured, not just from shots fired but from brutality among victims in a haste to escape or just mayhem for the sake of mayhem, this was not something authorities would be taking lightly.

However, Regina could care less about it, she was fine and know she knew her date was at least alive and with her family. All is well in her book, oh, all except for the fact that she woke up three inches away from a bowl of vomit feeling like the personification of death. Regina wasn't exactly sure how she had ended up in the bathroom as she hardly drank enough to sedate her on a normal day, but then she remembered that nearly everything in Mal's house was grade A strength and she was now sure that whatever she drank was closer to dragon's blood than alcohol. Not that it mattered, what did matter was the fact that her intoxicated state had caused her to open up to Emma, tell her one of the secrets that she never shared with anyone, and now, now the girl was gone.

Regina had searched the house, only to find it void of the girl she sought out, she called her cell, but there was no answer.

"Maybe it's for the best." She muttered into the fur of a very fat cat, who just leaned in to the touch.

"Emma Swan!" Mary Margret scolded exactly 3.5 seconds after the girl came into the house. It smelled of cinnamon, likely from the candle that burned in the dim kitchen. Emma was soaking wet, as the second she ran out of Lily's house, she'd been hit by daggers of water falling recklessly from the sky. Only a few hundred yards out had she become soaked down to the bone, so b the time she waltzed into her home, she was no less than melting into the mudroom.

"Uh." Was all Emma could say before her hand was grabbed and yanked in the direction of the downstair's bathroom. Mary Margret was mumbled but not coherently, so the girl ignored her.

"Kathryn called, said you weren't at school?" Mary Margret accused once Emma was planted into the porcelain tub.

"Yeah I-"

"Just where do you think you get off leaving without explanation, then not showing up to school? Do you know how worried we were? I- I mean you could have been dead Emma, and we would never know!" Mary Margret let out a long sign. "I just don't understand how-"

"Stop!" Emma interupted. "Oh my god, just shut up okay?"

Mary Margret clenched her fist and shook her head. "Excuse me?"

Emma raked her nails over her damp skin. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude, I just can't take your carrying on right now." She told. "I'm sorry, really." She look sympathetic.

"Mm. So where were you?" She asked, crossing her arms over her cardigan clad chest.

"I was at Lily's, we went out for dinner last night and must have gotten food poisoning, because we were both throwing up this morning."

"Food poisoning doesn't just last an hour, Emma."

Emma sighed. "Okay, well, it happened. Ask her."

Mary Margret stormed out of the room in a huff, Emma wanted to laugh but bit her tongue. David sat across from her and sighed. "What's up, kid?" Emma rolled her eyes.

"I don't know, she's just being really loud right now and I'd rather her be super pissed and quiet than just pissed and loud."

"Look, I know you've been through the mill but you don't have any type of right to speak to her like that. She- we just want to help you, and you're not making it easy." He let out.

Emma took in the information, she knew that he was right and she was most definitely wrong, but there was no way in hell she'd admit it, so she stayed silent. David stared her down, but when the girl refused to meet his eyes, he stood, shaking the table a bit. Emma sat at a loss for a while as the drops pelted the glass before retiring upstairs to her room.

It was dark, the only light seeped in between the shutters, orange. A streetlight. Plopping down on the bed, she could care less of her damp clothes and hair dirtying up the white comforter, she pulled out her phone.

 **One Missed Call.**

Displayed across the screen, she hit the icon and saw it was from Regina. The blonde hovered a moment over the name, unsure if it was a good idea to return the call. However, she was feeling weak and allowed for the pad to make contact, the screen reacting immediately as she moved the device up to her ear. Only five rings later did static sound momentarily before a voice came though.

"Hello?" Regina sounded.

"Hey, you called?" Emma asked.

"Yes, how are you?"

Emma sighed. "The old ones are not very pleased with me."

"I can imagine, are you okay? I can come to get you if you want."

"No, I just," She ran a hand over her face and sniffled. "need to apologize. I was rude to them, but I don't know, you know?"

"No, I don't." Regina replied. "You can tell me."

"I keep lying to them, I don't know why." Emma replied. "So I keep getting in trouble, because I'm a really bad liar."

"You don't know why?" Regina asked.

"That's what I said."

"Hm." Regina hummed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh nothing, you did say you were a bad liar." She answered.

"What? No, you know, I don't need this from you, you're supposed to be there for me." Emma bit back.

"Emma, I am, but I want to help you-"

"And the truth will set me free?" Emma felt her throat close.

"No, why would I say that?" Regina questioned. "Emma, please, I know you're hurting right now but you need to let them help you, this isn't like before."

"You don't know what you're talking about." Emma said into the line, growing angry.

"Don't I? You can't fool me, I know you."

"You're so pretentious! You think you know me? Yeah, well you don't! You don't know anything about anything, and I- I just wish you could just be my friend for five fucking seconds instead of trying to shrink me."

"I'm sorry." Regina replied.

"Whatever." Emma answered then hung up.

"Emma?" Regina spoke into the phone, but the dial tone was all that answered. "Brat." She muttered and stood from her spot on Mal's couch. Regina moved to the kitchen where Mal and Lily sat, the latter pouring over Chinese take-out and Netflix streaming on her phone.

"Hungry?" Mal asked, Regina shook her head and pulled her purse off of the seat that Lily occupied.

"No, I actually should get going." She replied.

"Let me drive you."

"No it's fine I can just take the bus." Regina answered, Mal just laughed and stood, grabbing her keys on the way up.

"That's funny." She said and ran her fingers through Lily's hair. "I'll be back, you will be fine?" She asked, Lily nodded and grunted a reply, then they were out the door.

 **18 years prior**

Regina was at a loss, she wasn't sure what to do, who to go to. Everything seemed like it was falling apart at the seams, and it was. It was. Mal was gone, her parents were dead. Yes, dead. She tried to call her, everyone, but no one was picking up. It was like she was all alone in the world and it was all against her. Regina went to the only place she felt safe; her school.

It wasn't like in the movies, there was no mood weather, no rain or storm, just another day with the sun shining and the birds chirping. The air didn't have any eerie chill. The only difference from today and yesterday was in her. Yesterday, everything made more sense than it ever had, she was doing well in school, her best friend was by her side, but today, she was lost. Everything was lost and there wasn't a list of clues as to where she could seek it. All alone, on her own.

"Fuck." She muttered and pulled out the bottle from her purse, popping the small blue anti-depressant, staring at the remainder a moment longer before downing two more and closing her eyes. She fell back onto the ledge, stared up at the sky, waiting for the earth to consume her, but knowing that it wouldn't. Just as she began to feel a bit floaty, a bird, a dove flew overhead. Regina sat up, maybe it was just her and her clusterfuck of emotions mixed with fake happy, but it was a sign. The dove was a sign. Birds.

Two weeks. Everything was going fine, she was living in with a friend and her grandmother for the remaining two years of high school. Or at least that was the plan.

"Rubes?" Regina called.

"Yeah." Ruby answered short from the bathroom where she was flat ironing her hair, as she did everyday, for an hour. Everyday.

"Do you mind if I take a shower?" She asked.

"No, go ahead."

Regina swallowed. "Alone."

Ruby let out a dramatic sigh and dropped the device she held, turning around. "Regina, you know, it takes a lot to look this good. I could care less if your tits are lopsided or whatever the fuck your deal is, but if you want to shower you're going to have to deal with me being two feet away from you."

Regina rolled her eyes and smacked the doorway, turning around to pick up her clothes for the day. "My tits aren't lopsided." She grumbled and moved to the downstairs bathroom, the one without hot water. It was worth it, because she couldn't let Ruby see her. No one could see her, she didn't even want to see herself.

Class always dragged on, especially politics. This teacher was ludicrously unorthodox, not that she minded, she always loved a bit of flare. This guy, though, he would just go on nonsensical rants for entire periods that would begin on 'Why America is Failing' and end with 'Moral differences between Russian and Somali Pirates.' Did Russia even have pirates?

"Regina Mills!" He called. Regina's head shot up, she'd zoned out about twenty minutes ago, and wasn't expecting to have to come back.

"Yes!" She squeaked.

"Come to me." He motioned for her to walk towards him, she did so, cautiously. "Regina, is it true that your mother is a murderer." Her blood ran cold.

"What do you- I mean-"

"Is it true that your father, killed her and himself so that they could escape you before you disappointed them." He said. "I think they always knew you'd amount to nothing. Yeah, that's why Mummy would get angry. You would cry, say you didn't understand but you do-"

"Stop it!" She began to cry.

"You know why they did this!"

"Stop!"

"You deserve this, it's all your fault!"

"Stop! Shut up!" She screamed as he babbled on, he grabbed her by the shoulders and began to shake her, she closed her eyes just as she thought it was all over-

"Regina!" It was him, the teacher. Regina stared up at him with wide eyes and around the classroom. They were all staring. Staring at her, with that look, that stupid look, like she was a dog left for dead on the road. She couldn't take it, she stood and glared at each of them as she ran out of the room.

She left.

She knew she'd have to come back, go back, but not today. So she got in her car and left, without a destination or a second thought. Right out of town, until she came to a stop, she decided it was a good a place as any, it was a pool. The Devil's pool, clear as day with a cliff as nature's diving board. Regina made her way to the top of the cliff and sat, the view, only thirty feet up, was as beautiful as she could have imagined.

"I don't know, if anyone can hear me. Or if any of this is really happening, but," Exaggeration on the T. "If I'm going crazy, I mean, am I? I just hate this, all of this is so stupid. I don't want to be me, I want to be someone who everyone fears, not someone who is the poster child for pity. I just want, to be me again. Why did she have to take that from me? Why did I let her take that from me?" She buried her head in her hands. "I let this happen."

 **It always seems to happen around this time, I forget how to get where I want to go. I got this, believe in me! Another update coming soon.**

 **Also, review on the twins! I have been meaning to get back to that, I guess I forgot to actually write down what happened to them, but they're in a home. I'll go deeper in the next installment.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Loose end, tied! Let me know what you are thinking!**

 **Mistakes are my own.**

Regina moved from her place in bed to check the time. 6 am. It'd been two days and she didn't know how or why but she hadn't gotten out of bed more than twice. Both of those times being to answer the door for her take out. The food containers were scattered across her beige comforter, some spilling over. It was probably time to throw those out.

"Disgust." She grumbled as she threw the blanket off of her and onto the floor, wrapping it up and disposing it in the trash can. Just as her phone began to ring from it's place on the wall. Regina just stared at it a moment, not really sure if answering was a good idea, but it was probably David calling in to ask her where the hell she's been.

"Hello?" She whispered, cleared her throat. "Hello." She said firmly.

"Regina what the hell?" It was David, and she was a psychic.

"David." She greeted. "How are you?"

"How am I? I'm- I'm fine, how are you?" He inquired.

"Been better." She answered, what was she doing? She was doubting if she even cared about her job at all. Wait, no. Wait. Yes, yes she did.

"Uh-huh, right." He said, she could hear his tone and it was slightly bitter. "And you didn't think it was a good idea to, oh I don't know, call in? You have a job to do, Regina. This isn't elementary school, you don't just get to not show up and then come back with a note saying it was all okay. I should fire you." He went on.

She laughed. "Fire me?" She asked. "Really?"

"You think I won't."

"You know it wouldn't be wise."

He paused. "Come in to work today or I won't think twice." He hung up, she slowly put the phone back in the holster and rubbed over her face before sighing aloud and heading to the shower. It was now or never.

An hour later she pulled into the station and slammed her door, clicking the button and hearing it lock she walked on in. Nodding to the receptionist she picked up her pace, not feeling up to running in to David just yet. Her office was locked so that was a good sign that he wasn't waiting for her in there.

Upon opening the door she found that she was correct, all there was was an empty and cold room that smelled just a hint like rock salt. Regina scrunched her nose and flicked on her light, setting it to it's dimmest setting as the drive over here was more than it's fair share of bright. She shimmied out of the leather trench coat she had bore and draped it over her chair before falling into it, and resting her forehead on the cool glass of her desk. Just as she was about to fall asleep, there was a knock on the door, she shot up.

"Come in." She replied, and in walked David, who smiled like he just won a little league game for the first time.

"I knew you'd show." He crossed his arms. "You okay?" He rubbed his forehead where she knew she had a red mark the size of a tea light. She rubbed it over, then sat straighter.

"I'm fine, just needed a couple of unplanned days off." She coughed and slipped a piece of gum between her teeth.

He nodded. "Okay. You know, that can't happen again, though, right?" He asked.

"Of course, completely unprofessional on my part." She replied.

"Glad we understand each other." He gestured to the seat. "May I?"

"Of course." She said and he sat. "What's happening?"

"Well, those girl's that came in with Emma, they went to foster care and it was, it was fine until they started having nightmares."

"Nightmares." She nodded slowly.

"Right, and it was fine, they, they went right back down after the other would wake up and do.. whatever they did." He shook his head. "Then it got violent, and the couple who took them it started waking up and trying to soothe them, but even after the woke up they would keep screaming. They didn't trust them, at all." Regina nodded so he would continue. "Well, I guess this went on for a week until it got bad and one thing led to another, Dad ends up with a broken nose." Regina raised her brow and looked impressed.

"So what now?" She asked.

"That's the problem." He shook his head. "They're good kids, nothing's wrong with them until it comes time to sleep and then they have these outbursts. They don't trust anyone, they probably never will. The worst part is, they keep asking for Emma."

"Well she was a big comfort for them for the past couple of years, so I would expect they wouldn't just forget her."

"I know, but Regina what am I supposed to do? I don't want these kids to suffer any more but Emma's just starting to get into the swing of having a normal life and this would be such a huge step backwards, and we don't have the room to take them in anyway. I don't know what to do, I don't want to have to put this on her, she's just a kid." He put his head in his hands.

"I know you want what's best for Emma, but you also see that she isn't getting better David. The drinking, the friends, the attitude, that's not better, or normal. I don't think that it would be a step backwards to put Emma back into a place where these kids are in her life. Sure they remind her of that time, but she doesn't need to forget this time, she needs to accept it and work past it. You're trying to blind her from it and make her feel like it never happened, but it did, David, it did. You're not helping by letting her forget, you're just putting a bandaid over a wound you never cleaned." She consulted.

"So what do I do?"

"I'll take the girls. I can work with them, and Emma, together. It's not a solution but it's a start." She said.

"Okay."

"Okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'll just, I'll call the center and see what we can do about getting them down here." He stood and went to the door. "Thank you." He said without looking back.

By the end of the day, Regina had an office full of two spunky blonde twins who thought that her desk was a spaceship and her couch was the moon. Also, the floor was shark infested waters and if you got too close you'd be gulped up by a hungry jaws. It was cute, and she let them play, but of course she had to play too, so she organized files and strategized while sitting cross legged with her heels on the desk.

"No, you stupid! I told you it was red not purple, we can't have a purple monkey!" Ava accused. It didn't take long to distinguish the personality differences between the two. Ava was the more assertive one. Eve was less of an 'in your face' asserter but more of a passive aggressive kind of girl, who would convince you nicely with her eyes to do as she pleases.

"I don't care, monkey's aren't red either." Eve replied, tucking her hair back behind her ears.

"But I said so." Ava retorted.

"I don't care what you say, this is my drawing." Eve drawled.

Regina smiled and listened to the carry on, they were really good kids, not too loud of rough with things. Ava had fallen off of the couch and hit her head on the table, but she didn't cry, just hit the table right back. That was when Regina suggested coloring.

"Gina?" Eve asked. Regina raised her eyes to the small girl who was now front and center to her desk.

"Yes, dear."

"You said Nemma would be here." She claimed.

"Yes, after she gets home from school."

"When?" Ava asked, listening in as she scribbled over the purple color of the monkey with a red crayon.

"In just about an hour. Hey, I have some.. uh, raisins, if you're hungry." Eve made a face.

"No one is that hungry." She said and turned around to join her sister, smacking her hand away as she whined a little about her defacing the purple monkey.

Regina pulled out her phone as it began to buzz. It was Emma calling.

"Regina!" Emma cried before she even had the chance to say hello.

"Yes?" She replied.

"You have them?" She asked.

"The girls', yes. David told you about the plan?" She asked.

"Yes! I'm stoked, I've missed them so much, I'm at lunch right now, could you pick me up early?" She asked, Regina could hear her practically jumping out of her skin.

"No, it's only another hour and I'm already on David's shit list." She said. "Make sure you pack a bag." She said and after a quick goodbye, hung up.

Emma swung into the office a couple of hours later just as the twins were starting to get antsy.

"My precious sunshines!" She cried as she twirled around the door.

"Nemma!" Was simultaneously cried out as the older girl was lunged at. Regina smiled as she watched the interaction, before long Emma turned to her, clad in leggings and an oversized hoodie with a dragon it, she looked adorable and she smiled. Then, Eve pulled on her fishtail braid and asked her to do hers. Emma nodded and asked her to turn around, then she weaved her hair into the design and then of course, Ava was next, but she wanted double braids.

Once Emma was done playing salon she had to sit through the gallery of art that the girls' had created in the last couple of hours. She ooh'd and ahh'd and pointed out her favorites, putting aside three that they then snuck to stick on the station's fridge.

Emma and the girls came back into the room, the tallest blonde smiled and sat on the floor next to Regina, followed closely by the twins.

"Gina! You touch the floor." Ava cried and pointed to her nylon covered toes that danced over the plastic chair mat. Emma rested her head against Regina's thigh and looked to Ava.

"She is safe. I am the lifeguard and I declare it shark free." She then made a poof noise. "All gone."

"That not how it works." Eve glared at her.

"Yes it is." Emma detested.

"No it not."

"It is now." She smiled wide. "Right, Gina?"

"No, Gina stay out." Eve pointed to Emma. "This her war."

"Regina is with me." Emma said.

"No." Eve declared. "I hungry." She announced, bored with war, as is everyone.

"Me, too." Ava agreed.

"Me three." Emma looked up to Regina, who was writing something on her post it pad. "Regina." She drew out until the woman looked down at her. Emma reached up and poked under her chin. "You look funny from this angle."

"That's not the way you want to talk to the one who's going to be taking you to such an establishment."

"Funny, pretty." Emma corrected, squishing her cheeks. Regina slapped the hand away and pushed her head off her thigh.

"Okay, it's almost 5 anyway." Regina shrugged, turned off her computer and then slipped on her shoes. The girls jumped up, now victorious and Emma went to go clean up the mess they had made. Then she picked up their bags and let them take their respective stuffed animals.

"I think we should go before I fall." Emma said strained.

"Did you overhype your abilities to carry things?" Regina asked, brow raised.

"Just a little." Emma replied, readjusting. Regina moved to take one of the bags but Emma whipped around. "No! No, help!" She accented. Regina shrugged and the group went out and to the car. Once settled, the girls' in booster seats and Emma in the front, the latter ran back in to the station to say her goodbye's to David. She was back before long with a smile on her face.

"So where to?" Regina asked after she'd buckled.

"Not sure, what are you guys in the mood for?" She asked.

"Chicken." Ava answered.

"Soup." Eve went on.

"Kay. So, that." Emma went on and grinned. "I'll eat anything."

"Okay, I know the place." Regina started the car and pulled out of the lot. They drove to the sound of alternative rock and then they pulled in front of a little brick building where it was the brightest place on the street. Inside it was all different colors of christmas lights strung across the ceiling wildly and nailed to the wall like vines, though those were all green.

"This place is awesome." Emma smiled as the hostess dressed in all black sauntered up with a handful of menus.

"Four?" She asked, Regina nodded and the girl smiled and guided them to a booth in the back. Ava and Eve sat on one side and Emma and Regina on the other. The four flipped through their menus, the girls pointing at what looked good on the other's paper. "So, drinks?" The waitress asked upon her return.

"Juice." Ava bubbled.

"Okay, apple, cranberry, orange, pineapple, grape?" She asked.

"Apple."

"Pineapple." Eve replied, the waitress smiled and turned to Emma and Regina. Regina elbowed Emma to go first.

"Oh, uh strawberry lemonade." She answered quietly.

"Sorry I didn't get that?" The waitress leaned in.

"Strawberry lemonade and Sprite for me." Regina answered.

"We only have Sierra Mist." The waitress answered, with the face people make when they accidentally crush your dreams.

"Water is fine, then." She said. The waitress nodded and let to get the orders. "Sierra Mist, my ass." She muttered, Emma chuckled.

"Nemma." Eve chirped. Emma met her eyes. "I saw the world break."

"What?" Emma asked and laughed breathlessly.

"The world, it broke because purple was purple then it was green and now it's purple."

"The lights?" Emma asked.

"No, the ceiling."

"Right," Emma nodded and then the girl burst in to giggles. "What's the most fun thing you guys have done since you got here?" She asked.

"Oh! Our friends took us to the carnival. We rode rides and saw ponies." Ava replied.

"Sounds like fun! Did you ride the ponies?" Emma asked.

"Mhm." Ava nodded.

"It was more funner when we went to the beach far away." Eve interjected.

"No." Ava deadpanned.

"You stupid." Eve shrugged as the waitress returned with drinks and coloring pages.

"Thank you." Regina said.

"Yep. Orders?" She smiled and pulled out her notepad.

"Girls?" Regina asked.

"I want the chicken, please." Ava answered.

"Quesodill." Eve answered. The waitress laughed a little and wrote down what she meant.

"And fries." Both of them nodded.

"Um, can I have the this thing-" Emma pointed to a chicken melt. "And onion rings instead of fries." The girl nodded and averted her eyes to Regina as the girls got busy with coloring in a picture of dolphins.

"Vegetable stew in a bread bowl." She answered. "Spicy." Then smiled as she collected the menus and directed them towards the girl.

"Got it, thanks." Then she winked and went back to the kitchen.

"Ooh, Regina, she winked at you." Emma sang. She looked to the girls, but they weren't paying any mind.

"I'm sure it was you she was winking at, she's far closer to your age than mine."

Emma laughed. "Since when does that mean anything." The blonde snaked her hands around Regina's waist and leaned into her.

"Emma, no." Regina scooted away. "I look like a cougar."

"They probably think you're my mom, this isn't weird."

"That's even worse, plus I am not, and the fact that you said that makes this even more uncomfortable." She looked around.

"Regina." She whined. "Don't be so prude."

"I-" She laughed. "I am not prude, I am a 33 year old woman who wishes for you not to make passes at me in a restaurant with small children around. Or at all!"

"Aw, you say it like you mean it."

"I do, Emma!"

"Whatever you say." She sang.

"I do!" Regina defended.

"Your continuing argument isn't making your case any more convincing." Emma replied.

"You're annoying." Regina huffed and fiddled with her napkin until it opened to uncover silverware. "I bet this isn't real silver."

"Of course it isn't, this is a restaurant not a palace." Emma answered.

"That means nothing, where is the class!" She went on.

"I assume that all of your cutlery is silver?" Emma asked.

Regina looked down. "Well, no, but I still expect it."

"It's okay, dreams were meant to be crushed." Emma soothed.

"How reassuring."

"I should do this professionally." Emma smirked as their food was placed on the table. "Yay!" She clapped.

By the time they got home, the girl's were wore out. Before they'd been taken to Regina, the family they were with before had taken them to the park to say goodbye. They crashed out in the car, so Emma and Regina were left to carry them upstairs. That also meant that they had to leave the bags in the trunk.

Once the twins were placed in the guest bed they stretched out and tangled into the sheets. Regina and Emma smiled then left the room, leaving the door open a crack.

"Do we really have to go get the bags, too?" Emma asked.

"I suppose not." She rubbed her neck. "I'm not used to heavy lifting."

"Okay." Emma breathed. "So yeah, where do I sleep?"

Regina nodded. "Well there's the couch but I guess you can bunk with me, if you want."

Emma smiled and moved to Regina's door. "Why don't you have a blanket?" She asked, seeing the black sheets but no blanket.

"I uh, had to throw it away. I was having an episode and it fell victim." She explained.

Emma nodded. "Right. So, closet?"

"Yeah." Regina answered and then went to the bathroom to change into her previous night's attire. Oversized shirt from a gas station in Japan when she had visited in freshman year of college, and spandex. Emma was already curled into a ball on the right side of the bed. Regina looked away and tried not to smile as she slid in next to her, and pulled over the white down blanket. She turned off the light and fell into the spell of sleep.


	17. Chapter 17

Trudging through the open door, hands weighed down by two duffles, Emma took in the scent of the home she'd been missing.

For three weeks, she'd been living in with Regina and the girls, but Matriarch Mary Margret had insisted that it was far too long, now that the twins could sleep through the night and did not need her as a constant.

Emma wasn't sure now, whether to be relieved or angry, as her feeling towards Regina were no longer the eye of the hurricane, but the hurricane itself. A lot had happened in those three weeks, it was a time in her life that she would not soon forget.

As she hopped up the stairs with little glee, she realized that what she felt was relief, relief to be away from the burning fire of the woman who had taken her life and liquified it. Emma fell into her bed, listening to the sounds of the house, the smell that she recognized the second she'd walked in, that of fresh laundry and dried tomatoes. Downstairs, David was animatedly telling Henry about a car chase that he'd led just that day, MM was clanging with pots and pans, trying to prepare dinner for that evening. James, was silent, as he is a baby.

Then, there was Emma, swimming in sheets and confusion as she stare up at the popcorn of the ceiling. The All American Family, as pictured here.

 **3 weeks prior**

Regina woke with a warmth on her chest, wet from the breath of the girl, she took in her breath shakily and moved out of the position. Looking down, she watched as Emma readjusted to her absence and sighed in relief, she wasn't ready to entertain just yet. Moving to the bathroom, she brushed her teeth, pulled sleep mused hair up into a bun, the washed over her face with a hot towel.

Now refreshed, she checked on two snoring twins, then moved into the kitchen. Picking up an apple she studied it, different shades of red with a hint of yellow, she wondered where it came from, the rolled her eyes, way too early for such a thought. Way too early for anything, she thought as she peered over the clock reading 6:17. Luckily, it was Saturday and she did not have to work, the girl's did not have school, the day was up to exploration.

It hadn't quite sunk in until now just how much she was dealing with, she had two children and a teenage living in with her. With her, reclusive and introverted as she liked to be, now had to be open and welcoming all of a sudden, she hadn't even had time to think or adjust, she just had to act.

Change is good, change is what opens up the mind. No! Regina bit into the apple, water from the wash dripping down her chin, she wiped it violently. That was just some bullshit in her college handbook, she didn't like bullshit, yet her life was structured by it. Ironic.

Irony, that's what life is built on, but what kind? Dramatic Irony.

Now deep in contemplation, staring out onto the bustling street below, Regina didn't notice the body shuffling into the room, wrapped in a throw that had been on her chair.

"Goodmorning." Emma said quietly.

Regina blinked and wiped away the cloud of thought over her eyes as she turned. "Emma." She nodded. "Um, how did you sleep?"

"Fine, and you?" Emma regarded.

"Well, thank you." Regina replied, leaning into the counter before her. Emma took a seat at the bar, the same one she'd taken up that first morning, after the party, and rest her head on her extended arm. She yawned and closed her eyes, nestling into the blanket. "If you're still tired, it's early still." Regina told.

Emma shook her head. "No, I just don't like mornings." Regina nodded in response. "So, why are you awake then?" She asked.

Regina shrugged and shook her head. "Just accustomed, I suppose."

"Okay." Emma answered. "I was thinking," she sat up, "we should go hiking or something today." Emma looked to Regina, then the stove, then back to Regina.

"Uh," she started, "yeah, I mean we can check with the girls, but that sounds like a plan."

Emma nodded, then stood. "Cool, so, do you have any juice?"

Three hours later, the quadrant was sitting in the car, clad in jeans and tennis shoes, heading towards Kempton to the Hawk Mountain Sanctuary. The radio was playing the Gold album by Cat Stevens, the girls were coloring and Emma had her foot out the window, head resting on her hand as the sun shone off her braided hair.

Regina was enjoying the quite and just kept her eyes on the road, occasionally glancing over at Emma to see if she was alright. Or, maybe just to look, but she liked to stick to the first answer. The leaves falling from the trees were all shades of red and orange, some already fallen were that of brown and beige, they mushed into a colorful rush as they sped past.

She'd been excited for this outing, because she had wanted to bond with the girls more, they had taken a liking to her but unsurprisingly preferred Emma, which would have to change since it wasn't a permanent living arrangement. The teen had school, which wasn't too short a drive from her condo, and she knew that she belonged at home with her parents, where she could get the kind of stability she needed.

Regina knew that she was not a stable, she knew she was no good for Emma, but it wasn't just a one way street, Emma wasn't good for her either, she was forbidden. Being with Emma was like the last drag of a cigarette before the heat became too much and it had to be put out.

But what of the ashes?

 **Present**

In her house, littered with toys and crayons, filled with the sounds of happy children, the smell of baking brownies, she felt empty. All around her were reasons to feel joy, but she couldn't find it in herself to embrace them, she wanted, no, deserved to feel this emptiness. It was a sort of punishment.

With a sigh, she poured herself another glass of wine, white, as it did't bring her to sleep. It was almost comical, she had become a wine mom.

Motherhood, something she had never wished upon herself, something she didn't even want, but had been given. Was this a gift? If it was, why wasn't she happy? She had no idea what she was doing with these children, she didn't want them, but she couldn't give them up.

Where had her life gone? One morning she was free to do her job, stay out late, leave her things where she will, but now, she has to cook, and clean, and be home all the time. Not just because she wants to but because she needs to. Had she little a heart she would take the girls back, find them a home, but it had taken this long for them to be alone with her, and how would they feel if they were given up and away again? No child should have to bear the scare of being unwanted.

This was her life now, it was full. The way she should be.

It was Emma, she missed her. She had grown accustomed to her presence in her bed, in her life, but now she was gone, and Regina felt a bit lost. The puzzle of her life missing a single piece, never to be completed or replaced with another.

"Gina!" Ava tugged at her flannel shirt, draped over her.

Regina blinked sleepily, then looked down. "Yes, dear?"

"Will you put on Nemo, please?" She asked, then wore a pouty face.

"Yes, go find it for me, will you?" She asked, sniffing she straightened herself and made way to the living room where Eve was playing with her model horses, the girl hadn't even noticed her, too wrapped up in the cantering motions she had set her pony in.

"Here go." Ava said, pushing it towards her, Regina took the dish, already taken out of the box and wiped over it before sliding it into the Blu Ray player.

Regina smiled at the girls and told them that brownies would be ready soon then went back to the kitchen and sat on the counter, sighing into her now full glass.

Glaring out upon the window she wondered about what would come of her and her career if people found out about the affair with Emma, surly, she'd be put in prison. Would she visit her? No, she shook her head, she wouldn't want that. What would come of the girl's, they would be placed back into the system, and would she be labeled a child molester?

She wasn't that, she wasn't! It had been consented, she would never touch Emma, or anyone for that matter, against their will. She didn't have to.

Looking back on that night she sees that it was wrong, that it shouldn't have happened, but it did, and the worst part of it being that she had enjoyed it.

 **4 days prior**

"They are now asleep," Emma closed the door, "thank _God."_ She chuckled.

Regina was sitting in bed, her legs covered with a sheet, scrolling through an app introduced to her by one of her clients called I-Funny. "Excellent, I was afraid they had guilted you into reading a whole novel."

Emma rid herself of her sweats and jumped into the bed, Regina nearly falling over with the intrusion. "Nope!" She said, sitting criss cross as she pulled open the book she had been reading, House Rules by Jodi Picoult.

Regina tried not to, but she lacked self control, she glanced down where she could see tiny hairs peeking out from the barrier of Emma's underwear, cotton with little flowers. Too lost in her book, she didn't notice.

Regina crossed her legs and sniveled, trying to ignore the sensation between them. She turned her phone back on and started to read through her extensive list of unread emails. Nothing that she cared about, but she needed a distraction.

"I can't do this." Emma slammed her book shut. "That room." She turned to Regina.

"Emma I told you-"

"Yeah, not my business, but Regina, what the hell?" Emma huffed.

"I don't know what you want me to say." Regina shut her phone off and placed it on the night stand. "Honestly, Emma, you don't get the _right_ to be upset, you went snooping through my house and demand answers as to what you find. I don't think so." She scoffed.

"Don't turn this around on me, you're the one with a fucking torture chamber, like what? Who does that?" Emma questioned.

"It's not a torture chamber, and I would prefer if you could refrain from swearing."

"Fuck, shit, bitch, cunt, damn, hell, whore, slut," Emma protested.

"Emma Swan!" Regina scolded. "Stop being a child!"

Emma raised her brow. "Dick." She finished.

Regina pinched her face and shook her head. "Are you finished."

Emma hummed and looked up to the fan. "Ah, _cocksucker."_ Regina inhaled and balled her fist. "Oh, you wanna hit me, yeah?" Emma asked. "Go ahead, see that's what your in to." Emma lifted her chin and extended her arms, an open target.

"You will stop this, immediately."

"Regina, who are you?" Emma asked, shaking her head. "Like really, what happened? I thought you trusted me."

"Emma, it's not about trust," Regina relaxed, "it's just, you don't need to know every single thing about me, and this is my life, my home."

"And I'm not apart of that." Emma finished.

Regina rolled her eyes and sighed. "No, that's not it. I just don't want you to think less of me, after all you've been through and it just doesn't seem like the kind of thing you would approve of."

"If it's something you do, then I approve, I enjoy everything about you." Emma told.

"It's just that," she shook her head, "I'm not ready to let it go."

"Let what go?"

"My room." She said.

"The weird one?"

"Yes, the play room."

"Play?" Emma shook her head.

"For my job, not the one you know of, another one."

"She stalls." Emma urged.

"Yes, well it's not exactly easy to say to-"

"A child." Emma mocked.

"Emma, you know I don't think you are a child, even though you tend to act like one more often than not."

"Insults." Emma scoffed.

"I'm sorry." Regina smiled.

"Now, off with the bandage!" She told.

"How about you guess." Regina said instead.

"Like," a nod, "oh, okay," Emma thought over, "serial killer."

"Try legal."

"Ah, well, then you're a Dom, but that doesn't surprise me enough."

"It doesn't?" Regina asked.

Emma shook her head. "No," she laughed, "I mean it's pretty obvious already, and aside from the lair." She looked to Regina. "So, I'm right?"

"In a sense, I mean, yes." She answered, covered her face. "Now I'm embarrassed." She chuckled. Emma turned bright red.

"Don't be." She said, scooting closer. "Do you trust me, Regina?"

Regina looked up and into green eyes. "Yes, I told you," she began.

"Then show me." Emma whispered. Regina felt her stomach tighten, of course she'd been waiting for this occasion, she didn't know how it would play out, but this isn't exactly what she'd had in mind.

"Emma, I can't-"

"Don't you want to?" Emma teased, her hand running up Regina's thigh, burning the surface. "I see the way you look at me, I know you want to _fuck_ me, yeah?"

"I-" Regina stuttered.

"Sh sh," Emma hushed, "you can do whatever you want." She whispered into her ear, pushing the hair behind it. "Tell me what you want me to do."

 **Present**

As her family moved around her in slow motion, she felt herself detaching from her body, staring into the darkness of the sitting room beyond the kitchen, where she could hardly hear the album that spilled from the player in it's hearth. Emma felt herself, her body was hot and fuzzy, she could see the blurred images of Henry, David, her mother.

They were yet to have the conversation, but she knew, she knew that they were her parents. She hoped and prayed that they would never have that conversation, but she also knew her mother, and the women liked to talk.

"Emma?" Came her name from the real world. "Emma?"

Emma blinked and turned to see David beside her, hand on her shoulder, chills ran through her veins from his hand on her. "Uh," she stuttered.

"Are you alright, kiddo?" He asked, moved to place the back of his hand on her forehead. "Ouch," he shook it, mocking hurt, "you're burning up, you feeling okay?"

Emma just shook her head, feeling her throat as it began to close. "I-" she managed, just as her vision became blurred, the edges of her sight were closing in black.

She heard a dull thud, felt the cool edge of the floor, then nothing.

 **4 days prior**

"Tell me what you want me to do," Emma hushed.

Regina swallowed, felt her body begin to hum in anticipation. She felt her inhibitions wash away, all there was in that moment was them. "Lie back." She croaked.

Emma did so, her skin tingling. "What now?" She asked.

"Don't speak." Regina ordered, finding her voice, this is what she did best. "Close your eyes." Emma did so, Regina grinned salaciously as she moved to the foot of the bed. "Bring your knees up, open your legs." Emma did so, chest heaving. "How do you feel, Emma?" Regina asked.

"Am I supposed to answer that?" Emma asked.

"You may speak if directly spoken to." Regina nodded. "How do you feel?"

"I feel, uh, fine."

"Are you wet?'

Emma's breath hitched. "Yes."

"What do you want?" Regina asked slowly.

"I want you to touch me." Emma replied.

"Mm," Regina hummed, "you know what I want?" She didn't wait for a response. "I want you to touch yourself." She licked over her lips. "Do as I wish, and touch yourself, Emma." Emma brought her hand up shakily to rest over her mound, covered with the flowers of her panties. "Use your thumb to circle over your clit," Regina asked, Emma did so, too quickly for her liking, "slower." She watched as the girl jerked her thumb back into check.

Regina listened as her breath became ragged, she tried to quicken her movements. "Ah, ah," Regina scolded mildly, "I said slowly." Emma slowed her pace and Regina smirked at her obedience. "That's my good girl." She praised. "Tell me, did you dream of this? Of me?" She asked.

"Yes." Emma chirped.

"Mm, and in these _fantasies_ did they end with you screaming my name for the whole world to hear?" Emma stayed silent. "You will answer me."

"Yes." Emma replied reluctant.

Regina chuckled low in her throat. "Are you a screamer, Em-ma?"

"I don't know." Emma hesitated.

" _I don't know,_ " Regina mocked, "hm, we'll find out soon enough, though, won't we, _dear."_ Regina pushed a stand of hair out of her face. "Now, I want you, keeping your thumb where it is, and with your index finger, I want you to finger yourself." Emma pushed aside the cotton barrier, oh so slowly, and did as told.

Licking over her lips she watched as the thin digit twitched in and out of the tight hole, in an attempt to find release. Emma's breath became ragged, as she carried on. Regina smiled at the sight, her cheeks flushed as she touched herself. "Take these off," Regina ordered, snapping the elastic on the underwear Emma wore. "Actually," she pushed down her hands as she went to do such, "allow me." Regina told, and slowly removed the garment. Emma's hips rose to help guide, then Regina took her ankles in her hands, the blonde loose as a rag doll, butter in her arms.

The older woman leaned in close, whispered in Emma's ear, "keep going."

Emma let out a small noise before she could catch herself, then went back to her activities. Regina let this continue a moment, moving back down to the foot of the bed to give a look at the blonde's glistening fruit. "I want you, with your other hand, to play with your breast." Regina instructed, Emma did so, moving under her tank to pinch at her rose bud.

Regina took in a breath as she watched, feeling herself begin to grow hot. "Are you okay?" She asked, breaking the tension.

"Mhm." Emma moaned. Relieved, Regina carried on enjoying the show as she had written it.

The brunette wanted so badly to give in to herself, to touch herself, but she didn't, she wouldn't allow herself.

"I'm-" Emma sighed.

"I told you not to speak!" Regina snapped, Emma paused a moment, shut her mouth. "What were you going to say, pet?" She sighed.

"I'm.. close." Emma said in a breath.

"You wanna come?" Regina teased, Emma nodded. "Yes?"

"Yes."

"No." Regina tested. "Stop, cup yourself." Slowly, Emma followed, her toes curling, trying. "What are you thinking?"

Emma paused, inhaled, but didn't let out the breath. "I want to see you, and I want you to.." she trailed off.

"We finish our sentences, here." Regina told. "Don't be shy."

Emma let out her breath. "I want you to make me come."

"What do you want me to do, hm?"

"I-" Emma tried. "Everything."

"Yeah?" Regina asked, the girl hummed in response. "You want me to," she paused, "do," another, "everything." Regina moved her hands to the hem of Emma's shirt and lifted it up, the girl raising her arms so she could remove it. "Look how beautiful," she trailed her fingers over her pale, scarred stomach, avoiding her breasts, over her collar bones. Emma shivered beneath her, though the touch was red hot, she felt cold, she felt as if she were being branded while laying in a heap of snow.

Regina moved lower, to her hips, no longer sticking out, but blended into her skin as they should. Emma twitched as she neared her core. Regina smiled and fall to lay next to her, still tracing the eager skin of her girl. Emma felt think hair tickling her thigh, she stayed silent.

Feeling as if she had done enough teasing, Regina moved to cup the girl, who's liquid excitement coated over her hand with just a touch. "So, so wet." The woman tsk'd.

Emma tried to hold back a cry, but the woman had heard. She merely smiled and ran her cold digits through the heated core of the blonde, decorated by curly little hairs. "Don't be afraid to scream for me." She told, Emma let out a short moan as Regina entered her with a single finger, curling about the spongy embankment.

Moving between thin legs, she was faced with the tight pussy of the girl, she could smell her musk, she could hear the sounds her finger made as it moved in and out of the dilated hole. Emma's breathing was hard, she grasped the sheets, trying to be still as she was overtaken by pleasure.

Regina entered her with another finger and slowly twirled them about the pool, she wondered how long the girl would be able to last.

Deciding it wouldn't be a hard task, Regina removed her fingers, to the disappointment of her girl, then moved to blow on her swollen nerve, pink and looking for attention. Regina ignored it as it called to her, instead moving to work her tongue through flooded walls, lapping up the essence. Regina licked over her nether lips, the apex of her thighs, but left alone where she was most wanted. Emma was sounding with rhythm, letting out small cries of pleasure.

Regina moved her hand up to hardened nipples and tweaked them, palming the small breast, running and rubbing over it as she pressed her tongue into the breathing hole. Moving in all directions, stretching the walls as they worked against her muscle, she listened to the music of Emma. As the walls tightened like never before, she removed herself and went to take the abandoned clit between her teeth.

Emma let out a long cry as she sucked the nerve into her mouth, raking her teeth lightly over it. Hips bucked up, Regina used both hand to keep her leveled on the bed as she took in a hard breath.

Entering with two fingers, Regina twirled over with her tongue, the swollen clit, and with reckless abandon, fucked Emma's pussy until she came with a shaking cry. Waves of fluids came crashing down onto her, squirting out and onto the bed and Regina continued moving in and out of the blonde's tight hole, Emma moaned and moved into each thrust, turning to jelly.

Regina lapped up some of the juices that had erupted from the girl as she twirled and carried on over her core.

Emma spilled, breathing hard, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "Stop." She breathed, another moan. "Stop! Please." She was able to say.

Regina removed herself and sat up, moving up to Emma's side, the girl's eyes still closed, her breath unable to find a balance.

"Emma, are you okay?" Regina asked, worried she'd triggered her. Emma just laughed.

"Fabulous." She said, voice shaking.

"Look at me." Regina asked, moving to tuck wet strands of hair behind the girls ear.

"Can't, mhm." Emma replied, moving her arm up to grip Regina's arm, she pulled her down, wrapped her leg around her, curled into her. "Thank you." She said.

Regina kissed her crown and nodded. She listened as Emma's breathing found it's pace, and she fell into a deep sleep.

"Fuck," Regina said, voice breaking as she began to cry, her head hitting the wall. That's how she fell into slumber, only minutes later.

 **Present**

"Snow, she's fine, we don't need to take her to the hospital." David's voice flooded in.

"That's what you said when I went into labor! 'Oh no, M, it's just a cramp,'" she mocked, "asshole." She muttered.

"Hey, you were whiny that whole pregnancy, so excuse me for not, no, you know what, I'm sorry." He replied. "You're right. I think I know everything, you're right, I'm wrong, as always."

"You just want me to shut up."

"Your words." He said.

Mary Margret huffed and left the room. Emma opened her eyes, feeling a weight sink her down. Looking around she saw she was in her room, with a rag on her forehead.

"Hey kiddo." David replied upon seeing her eyes upon. "How are you?"

Emma shook her head and tried to sit up, feeling heavy. "I'm," she told, "tired."

"You remember anything?" He asked. Emma shook her head again. He told her about her fainting, then asked if she needed anything.

"Can I just be left alone a little while, please." She asked.

He nodded. "Will you just," he turned to the door where MM was waiting nervously, "talk to your mother a moment?"

Emma nodded and smiled, he stood and left, MM soon taking his place. "Hi, baby." She said, hand on Emma's thigh and she squeezed. "You want anything to eat?"

"No thanks," Emma chuckled, "I'm good."

"I think you should eat something, that could be why you fainted, you know, you're looking too pale, you-" she moved to cup Emma's chin. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

Mary Margret shook her head, eyes watering. "For everything, for," she wiped her eyes, "you know, I'll let you get some rest." She kissed her daughter on the forehead. "Goodnight."

As she was leaving the room, Emma watched, seeing sadness rise in her features. "Ma," she said, "I love you." She smiled weakly, MM stopped and smiled wide.

"I love you too." She replied and closed the door.

Emma fell back into her pillow and let herself relax, she tried to fight the urge to cry, but it was too strong, she felt lost, she didn't know what to do, she felt like a stranger in her home. Emma turned into her pillow and curled into it, allowing herself to cry.

She fell asleep just as her tears began to dry.


	18. Chapter 18

_Dear Diary,_

 _Yeah, I am making one of those, not by choice of course, but because my mom got me one since she thinks I'm troubled, and I don't have much else to do to be truthful._

 _So, here I am, here you are, with a lovely leather binding and cutesy pen that came attached right on to you. Which I am not using because it makes me feel restrained, I am using this cool pink pen that's glittery and has gelly ink. I stole it. I like this. I can tell the truth. I mean, I could have paid for it, but I wasn't with my parents, I was with Regina.. cringe.. and I didn't want to ask her for anything. She was in a bad mood that day, she yelled at me for no good reason. I think that's what happens when you have to take care of small children._

 _I love the twins, don't get me wrong, but they are exhausting with a capital E, even though I didn't capitalize it in this, and I'm writing in pen, so I can't exactly erase it._

 _Why am I explaining this?_

 _God, I'm weird._

 _Well, where to start? Ah, yes, let's just go right out and say it; I had sex with an adult. Well, I don't want to say adult, because that sounds childish, but someone who is much older than me, at the age of 16, in case you didn't know, Diary. However, I wouldn't call them an adult, or old, because it's Regina, she acts literally five sometimes. Then, other times she tries to act like my mom, which is annoying, but also pretty hot._

 _Not, ha, no. I never said that?_

 _Okay, yeesh, maybe I have Mommy Issues, SUE ME._

 _Yeah, well now she is ignoring me, but then maybe she is just busy, she has the girl's now and do I know that they are actual spawns of the devil at times. I wonder if the devil is insulted by that, I'm sure his kids are very well behaved on the cause that their father is Satan and can and likely will rip their belligerent little heads off._

 _Either way, they run a complete muck sometimes. So, I can only imagine what Regina, once living a secluded little live as some kind of fucking dominatrix by herself, now has two little pistols of small running about her home. Ah, you see, that's what television shows should be about._

 _I still haven't told Lily, my best friend, about what happened. You're the only one who knows, so don't go around, you know, saying shit. Ha, I'm funny, you're a book, but really. I wonder how she would react. Maybe I should tell her. I am not exactly good at keeping secrets. Oh shit, oh fuck!_

 _Yes I am! I totally forgot that Lily doesn't even know about my past. Ah, that's a problem. I don't think I want to tell her, because it was, well obviously, terrible, but I mean I hardly feel like it even happened anymore. Of course, I know it did, but it feels kind of like a dream._

 _Sure, I still get down about it and feel like crying or dying or stabbing myself a million times in the vagina, which would likely result in death anyway, but it's a more creative way, so shut up. I suppose that I am just good with selective memory. Life out here is pretty great too, I have friends, and family._

 _Let's just start with some weird shit. So I think that fate is real, you know, destiny, the whole big kicker, because I found my family, and I didn't even have to look. I don't know, it's crazy, but it has really been helping my move past this, because i feel like what happened was meant to happen._

 _Also, life is just too good out here to be worried about what happened back there, because I am trying to just be grateful for what I have now instead of just remaining to the fact that I was once a victim, but that isn't my life anymore. I wish everyone could be like that, because in all honesty, I could still fall victim to my abuse, sometimes, I want to. I just don't let it, because I never ever want to feel that terrible again, and I feel as if I don't have to anymore._

 _So, all in all, it's a pretty good life right now, Diary. All except, I don't know what to do about Regina. I feel gross that I like her, or do I love her? No, I'll back it up. I mean, she is so much older than me and we could never go on dates or kiss in public, not until I'm eighteen, which is two years away, and would she even wait so long for me?_

 _I couldn't expect her to, I'm not wonderful and beautiful and glorious like she is, so she could and she should find someone better and prettier and smarter than me. I want her to be happy and all, but then again, I don't, not without me._

 _I just don't know, but I don't think she's happy with me right now, she was strange after we- well after she had sex with me, she acted like she had taken my virginity or something afterwards, and she would only talk to me when the twins were around and it wasn't how we usually talked. We usually joked around and flirted but she just spoke to me like I was 4. I think they are four. No, five, I forgot. Something like that. I know their birthday is in June._

 _Doesn't matter. What does matter is that I need to talk to her, I need to figure out what she wants. Right?_

 _Yes, right._

 _But, not today, sometime soon, though. I am busy right now. I think I will go to Lily's, maybe, if my mom lets me. She probably will._

 _Stop judging me! I have a busy life and tendency to put things off especially when they are important._

 _Whatever, Diary, you're a dick,_

 _Emma Swan signing off._

Emma closed the book and slid it under her mattress, she couldn't take the risk that anyone would find it and read it, Mary Margret.. her mother.. had said that it was her job and hers alone to change her sheets or live in the streets. Exaggeration of course, but she got the idea, make the bed herself.

Emma flopped off the bed and made her way into her bathroom where she pushed around the contents of her counter, of course, her bathroom was already a mess after only three days of living back at home. Her mother understood she just liked to throw her clothes wherever she pleased, but she didn't like it. Three days a week Emma was to clean one room of her choosing in the house totally spotless. The other three days, Henry had to do his part, with three different rooms, then one day a week, always Monday's, no one did a thing.

Of course, everyday, Mary Margret bustled around the house cleaning anyways, only because she had a problem sitting still for too long and found it a nice source of exercise. Emma found this revolting, as she would rather jump off a tree than clean every single day. However, as long as she was out of her business, she was alright with it.

"Ma!" Emma called from upstairs, just exiting her bathroom as she forgot what she had gone in there for in the first place. Before she could wait for an answer she just headed down the stairs, because she knew her mother only bothered going up there when she needed to shower or sleep, which neither of each she ever saw her do.

Emma twirled into the kitchen to see her mother on the phone, twirling the cable. Emma always liked the wall set, it was a deep red that matched only not to match the plethora of colors that was the kitchen. Leaning against the threshold she watched, MM's furrowed brow and pursed lips as someone on the other line talked on.

She spoke in curt replies, Emma zoning out to stare at the checkered tiles of the floor, it was the sound of the headset being placed back into the socket that shook her stupor.

"Who was that?" She asked.

Mary Margret had already made her way to the sink, washing her hands when she replied. "Uh, Regina."

Emma's throat closed, her heart rate picked up again. "Oh, Regina, what did she want?"

MM shook her head. "Called for David, wanted to tell him she was taking a leave for the next couple of months, then she said she would just tell him when she went in tomorrow."

Emma nodded. "Okay." She replied. "So, what's for..." she trailed off, receiving a text vibrating from inside her hoodie pocket, from Lily.

 **Lily: Wyd**

Emma had recently learned text lingo.

 **You: Nm just thinking about food hbu?**

 **Lily: Always, lol. Nm either, want 2 chill**

 **You: My mom is cooking hb u come ovr**

 **Lily: k see you soon**

Emma locked her phone and looked up to see her mother staring at her, she looked back down, then up. "Oh!" Emma laughed. "Sorry, it was Lily, do you mind if she comes for dinner?"

Mary Margret shook her head. "As long as she doesn't bring any drugs."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Yeah, okay. So what're you making?" She asked.

"Menudo." MM told, turning around to wash her hands.

"Need help?" Emma asked.

"No, no," she sighed, "no."

Emma nodded. "Okay, well I'm just going to go wait then?" Her mother just nodded, after grabbing a bottle of water Emma went to sit in the den. Scrolling through her Instagram popular page, laughing inwardly at a few memes, she waited.

Thirty minutes later, there was a knock on the door. Emma shot up and after peeking through the hole for fifteen seconds, so her friend didn't know she had nothing better to do but wait, she opened the door. "Ay!" Lily greeted, pointing out to her.

"Ay!" Emma mirrored the gesture. "Come on." She motioned inward.

Lily stepped in and moved to the kitchen, swinging on the doorway. "Hey Miss N," she greeted with a smile.

MM nodded with a tight smile back at her. "Lily, hope you're hungry."

Lily chuckled, "of course." Then she turned to Emma. "Your room?"

Her friend nodded and led the way, Lily had a duffle in her tow. "What's in the bag?" Emma asked.

Lily looked down as they trailed up the stairs. "Just clothes."

"You plan on staying?" Emma asked, confused.

Lily shrugged. "If your mom will let me, mine is too busy fucking herself up to notice anyway."

Emma just nodded and walked silently up the stairs, closing the door to her darkened bedroom behind them. Lily fell onto her bed with a loud sigh. "This is nice."

Emma sat and held a pillow to her, having her friend in the room with her, she just wanted to pour out her soul. She could trust Lily? Yes? "Lil," Emma sighed, Lily looked up with curious eyes, Emma debated internally. "My mom is making Menudo." She decided instead.

"Nice!" Lily chuckled. "You got cable?" She asked.

Emma threw the remote at her, landing on her stomach. Lily thanked her and began to surf the channels. Emma sat and watched, the tv as she scrolled, then her friend's eyes flickering with the shifting light of the television.

"I have to tell you something." Emma said finally, never one too good at keeping secrets.

Lily turned the volume to mute and turned over to face her. The only light in the room streaming from the muted screen. Emma sighed. "You alright?" Lily asked, concerned.

Emma bit down on her lip. "I did," she sighed, "something really bad."

Lily nodded, brows furrowed, "okay?" She urged.

"When I was, when I," Emma's throat began to close, her eyes welled up. Lily moved up to take her friend in her arms, becoming her anchor. Emma attempted to hold in her sobs, but they were too much, raking through her bones, she clung to Lily, who rubbed her back, and didn't say a word.

"Lily I-" Emma tried.

"Sh sh," Lily hushed, kissing the crown of her head, "it's okay, Emmy."

Emma closed her eyes and gripped Lily's shirt as hard as she could, pulling it to her hot face. Unable to catch her breath she turned into her stomach.

This is how she stayed for a whole ten minutes until she reached that numb state of sadness, mixed with the resignation she felt as it coated her nerves.

"Lily, when I, I stayed in with Regina for all those weeks, I," Emma sniveled, voice threatening to break, "we did some things that, that I regret." Emma felt Lily nod. "I don't know, what to do about it." She told.

"What did you do, Em?" The girl asked.

"I let her, she, touch me." Emma said in a whisper, afraid her mother would hear.

"Emma what?" Lily said, heart racing. "Are you okay? Did she hurt you?" Lily panicked. "I swear I'll"- Emma cut her off.

"I wanted it, I let her, I begged her, Lily." Emma began, tears falling once more. "I wanted it so badly, it was so good, and," she broke, her words coming out as no more than a gush of air.

"Oh." Lily let out.

"Is that bad?" Emma searched for acceptance.

Lily was silent a moment. "I don't know," was all she could say.

"I'm in so much trouble." Emma said quietly, her voice sticking as she was afraid to let the words fall from her mouth.

Lily looked about the room, looking for an answer, to no avail. "It's okay," she said, "I won't tell." Was all she could find.

"What do you think is going to happen?" She asked.

"Emma, I mean, shit, if anyone ever finds out, Regina is going to jail." Lily admitted, never one for a filter. "She's like, ancient."

Emma chuckled, though it held little humor. "She's beautiful, Lil." She told.

"Yeah?" Lily asked. Emma nodded. "What're you doing, Em?"

Emma shrugged, resting her head on her friend's thigh. "I just want to be with her, I can't stop, I can't get her out of my head, and I hate it." She vented. "I know, it's so wrong, and this could ruin her life, but I don't care, because I just want her. I just.. want her."

"Well, then fuck people."

Emma shook her head. "I told her that, but she just keeps worrying, she won't shut up about what would happen to her, to me, all that." She sighed. "But, I just don't care, I just care about her and I, how much we work together, how she makes me forget all the shit in my life that I thought I would never get over."

"Did you tell her that?" Lily asked.

"Not in so many words, she doesn't want to hear it, she said it makes it harder to move forward." Emma motioned her hands, confused. "I don't get it, I just don't, she says she cares about me, she wants me, but she has to make it so complicated, it's just, God, it's so annoying."

"Emma, she just wants what's best for you, you know? I mean, don't get me wrong, I want this for you, you're down for this chick, but what happens if someone finds out?"

Emma shrugged, "I don't know." She muttered.

Lily sighed. "Her ass, goes to jail, then it's all bad from there, doesn't matter the circumstances, Em."

Emma made a pitiful noise. "Yeah, but," she sighed, "so what?"

"Emma, really?" Lily choked a laugh. "You don't want that, she's too pretty not to be someone's prison bitch."

Emma let out a long breath for emphasis on the subject. "It's making me sick," she told Lily. "I hate this. I feel so disgusting, and it makes me physically ill that I know how fucked this is, I don't know what to do. I can't keep seeing her, I can't keep this from my parents, can't tell them, they'd probably burn her at the stake." Emma rubbed over her face. "I need help, Lil."

"I c- I don't know, Em, I can't tell you what to do." Lily replied.

"What would you do?" Emma asked.

"I mean, honestly, I would be with her, fuck all." Lily shrugged, "but my circumstances are different, Em, your parents are all conventional, my mom, well," she laughed, "well she's fuckin' weird." Emma chuckled in affirmation. "They wouldn't understand."

"I know." Emma nodded. "I know, I just can't give her up, Lil, she's so important to me." Emma answered.

"Do whatever feels right." Lily replied.

"You won't tell?" Emma asked.

"You know I won't." Lily answered. Emma looked up and kissed her on the cheek. Lily smiled and gave her a peck back. "I took so many drugs before I came over here." She replied and fell back onto the pillow.

Emma just giggled. "Got anymore?" She asked.

Lily smirked before nodding.

Since she was new at this, Lily placed a single adderall on her tongue, then had her swallow. Emma closed her eyes and looked to the ceiling as she felt the cool water from her bottle run down her tongue at a pace set by Lily, she hoped that this would help her get her mind off Regina. Oh she hoped, hoped, hoped.

It was eating her alive, as she had told Lily, she wasn't sure how much longer she could bear it, but this isn't an escape, well, it is. She also knew the impact drugs could have on her life, and she wasn't going to allow that to become her life, she couldn't and wouldn't.

Look at Lily, she though, she does drugs, and she is fine, mostly. So, Emma made it a pact to only do them when with her friend. Never alone, no, that was too much, too close to addiction.

She had watched intervention, she was basically an expert.

Now, as they lay back in her covers, staring at the ceiling, waiting as they spoke of sweet nothing, Emma gripped her friends hand and pulled it to her lips, kissing the knuckles, Lily giggled, pulled the combined mass over to her, kissed it back.

They took turns in the affection for a long while before Lily rolled over on to the top of Emma and began to kiss over her nose, her cheeks, her eye lids as they fluttered shut, and finally taking her lips between hers.

Emma felt lost in the moment, her body began to hum, she felt a pawn to Lily, to the little orange pill that moved through her blood stream. Emma laughed as she began to play along, glad now that she had locked the door, glad now that she was nibbling at Lily's lip, she could even remember what she was so worried about.

Now, she lifted her hands to pull Lily's hair back as it had began to tickle the insides of her ears, she shivered.

"Emma, Lily!" Came shouts from downstairs. Emma violently shoved Lily off her and began to hyperventilate.

"Sh, sh," Lily grabbed both sides of her head, rubbing her temples. "It's okay, Emmy," she cooed, "it's okay."

Emma nodded, crying a moment, then chucking, then silent.

"Emma!" Came another call, then a knock on the door. Lily stood to open it to Henry.

"Who're you?" He asked.

"Who're you?" Lily countered.

"Henry." He nodded, seeing Emma he smiled. "Dinner, Mom made menudo."

Emma waved and nodded, trying to collect herself. "Yeah, be right down." She managed.

"Come on, babes." Lily grabbed her hand, pulling her down the stairs. Emma trudged after her, her legs felt like jelly in an earthquake. Jello sitting atop a blasting speaker, her lungs felt as if they were origami, her fingernails were made of bees, her brain full of moths trying to find light in her eyes.

Emma moved into the kitchen, the lights were twirling, her mother was a wench, her father was absent from the table, Henry sat in his place, James in a highchair by her mother's chair. "There you are, your father is still on shift, won't be able to make it home, Lily," her eyes widened, "go ahead and sit next to Henry." She pointed.

Lily nodded and smiled. "Smells great, Miss N." She screeched out the seat. Emma furrowed her brows as she remained standing by the counter, unsure of how her friend was acting normal. Lily raised a brow to her, Emma swallowed dry, the spit making a pang as it hit her stomach, a sheet metal circle.

"Emma?" Her mother asked.

Emma smiled crookedly, then shakily took her seat and allowed her head to fall into her hands, still vibrating. "Not gonna faint." She said, volume fluctuating.

Lily spooned her rice, acting as if nothing was wrong. Henry stared at his sister, just as James began to babble and clap. Emma shot up and stared to him as if he were the most fascinating thing she ever did she. He clapped louder and louder and it reverberated through her mind, her rib cage. Before she could even stop herself, she grabbed his hands to silence him and held them lightly. He just giggled as if she were playing a game.

Emma nodded, her mother stirring the pot, unaware. She let the hands of the infant go, he continued on clapping, Emma glared at him, he wouldn't stop, she smacked his hands lightly, he just wouldn't stop, he just giggled.

Emma grimaced, the world seemed to fade out around her and him and his slow motion clapping, monotonous, she saw his hands strain as they collided. Emma felt her hand heavy as she went down to smack them, bouncing off the high chair's counter, she saw his face pinch and begin to water.

"Emma!" Mary Margret scolded. "What on earth are you doing?" She asked, eyes wide.

Emma glared at her through tired eyes. "He wouldn't stop." She told.

"He's a baby, he just wanted something to hold." MM told. "Go upstairs, now!" She punished. Emma stood wearily an trudged out of the room, she wasn't hungry anyway.

Lily watched her friend go, rice still halfway to her mouth. "Uh, I can stay, right?" She asked. Mary Margret turned away from watching her daughter leave, face still etched in shock.

"Of course," she shook her head, "I don't know what's gotten into her, ever since she," Mary Margret told, unaware Lily stopped listening after she said the first two words.

Emma fell back onto her bed, body swimming in a tide as she looked up to the ceiling. dancing with the lights as she set them to twinkle, on and off, on and off. So on, so forth. She closed her eyes, still seeing the flicker as she heavily pulled out her phone, as if it weighed a ton and not a few ounces.

Opening her eyes she saw the screen, her saver a picture of a cute dog she saw online, and slid in her password, only failing twice as her thumbs were heavy but light all at once. Emma moved to her gallery, her body doing as she wished, even though it was an empty effort. Scrolling through her picture she saw images of the twins, herself and Lily, then those of herself and Regina. Emma's throat went dry as she saw them, enlarging the image so she could see better. Cringing as she had a constellation of pimples on her face the day they went hiking, she scrolled, a picture that was secret to her as she took it when the woman wasn't looking, staring off as she braided her hair over to the water they passed.

Emma tossed her phone to the chair in the corner and coughed, for some reason, she didn't really know why. She wasn't sure how long it had been before Lily came through the door.

"Eh," she said, her hand holding a plate. "I come bearing bread." She told.

Emma nodded. "Not hungry." She replied.

Lily shrugged. "It's sweet bread." She tried.

Emma shook her head. "Go ahead. Is my mommy mad?" She asked.

Lily closed the door behind her, slowly. "Was, think she forgot about it after ten minutes, she joked around with me and the kid." Lily sat on the floor. "I think she likes me again."

"I hope, it was annoying when she hated you." Emma told.

"You good?" She asked.

"Yeah, feeling myself again." Emma replied.

"Good, you scared me, thought we were 'bout to get caught red handed." She laughed.

"Nah.' Emma replied. "We good."

"Mhm." Lily hummed, "oh, she said I could stay over, I told her a sob story about my mom, how she ditched me and went off back to visit a friend." Lily nodded, "which is true, but I am not sad about it, she left all her shit, except that purple shit."

"Purple shit?"

Lily swallowed, the coughed. "Yeah, not sure what it is, but she never leaves without it."

"Okay." Emma replied, still unmoving. "Cool."

Lily answered her something, but she had since dozed off into a dream world. "Lil," she replied in the middle of a sentence she wasn't listening to, "are you tired?" She asked.

"Little." Lily replied from her place on the floor.

"C'mere." Emma whispered. Lily stood and made her way to sit next to her friend, who took up residence on her bare legs and began to drool on them. Lily smiled and grabbed the remote, turning to to a Christmas movie as she piled pillows behind her and allowed for Emma to sleep. As well as drool.


	19. Chapter 19

Then next day at school, the pair didn't bother wearing anything but plaid pajamas and their poncho hoodies. On the way as they walked through the wet air as it had rained just that morning, Lily and Emma both popped another orange pill.

Emma didn't feel it until around the middle of first period, as she had eaten a large breakfast and it hadn't yet digested. Lily had been her anchor all throughout the day, until she came down at lunch, and sixth period which she only had with Killian.

"So, Swan Song, how was the weekend?" He asked as they sat.

Emma shrugged, chewing on licorice but not actually eating it. "Chill." She replied lazily. "Yours?" She asked, knowing her only ever asked her that so her could go on about how awesome his was, whether it was a party, or some drama with his sister, mother, doesn't matter. Killian was one of those people who always had some kind of dish.

"Well, went to a party on Saturday, I think I met the one." He leaned over the library counter, the librarian long gone five minutes into the period.

"Yeah?" She raised a brow, stopping her chewing.

He nodded. "Names Robin." He told.

Emma shook her head. "Same Robin you fucked last week?" She asked.

He nodded, the swished his hand over before him. "Yes, but this is different, we were sober. You know, when we met up." He frowned, the his face fell back to it's regular shit eating grin. "Anyhow, we hit it off, he even made the first move." He smiled, genuinely this time. "Emma, he is so sweet, and not to mention the sex." Killian swooned. "He's a switch."

Emma gagged. "Okay, Killy, little too much info." She smiled. "You like him, though?" She asked.

He nodded. "A lot, we're going out on Wednesday." He blushed. "On a date, he has a car."

Emma looked impressed. "A keeper, I see."

He smiled. "Of course." He looked away a moment, "so, how's you and Lesbo Lily?" He asked.

Emma chuckled. "Good, she's staying with us for now I guess."

"You guess?"

Emma nodded. "Yeah, I don't know, she just does whatever."

He smiled. "Need to keep your woman in check, Swan Song." He encouraged.

Emma's smile broke. "What- my?" She shook her head. "Oh, no Lily and I aren't together, she's just," Emma told.

He nodded, informed. "You two aren't together?" He asked.

"No, who told you that?" She asked.

"No one, just thought I had good direction." He nodded.

"You mean Gaydar?" She asked, brows to the sky.

"Ay, but you're not?"

"No, I am, just not with Lily, I have a thing." She trailed off.

"Indulge me, Swan." He grinned salaciously.

Emma knew better than to share with Killian, he was a gossip, the worst kind, he couldn't keep a secret sober, let alone smashed, the state in which he spent most in not all of his time. "She doesn't go here, from my old school."

"You were homeschooled." He replied.

"Right, but it- we could still go to classes, if we wanted." She replied.

"I see, well Swan, good for you." He answered. "So, moving on," he sighed, "I'm throwing a little bash this weekend, you and Lils care to join?" He asked.

Emma shrugged. "I'll ask her, not sure if I'll be able to escape, though."

"Rents gotcha on lock?" He asked.

Emma nodded. "Yeah, no trust, man." She told.

He shook his head. "Damn shame."

Emma shrugged and placed her licorice back between her teeth, chewing absently as the period rolled on, Killian checking books out for the class that had been scheduled library time that day. She thought over his offer, trying to concoct a way to get herself and Lily to that party, she could think of a few, then she had to realize that, it probably wasn't a good idea for her to go. Getting into having a bit of fun with Lily was one thing, but knowing Killian, it wasn't going to be a bonfire with good friends and good music, it was going to be just short of a raver.

Emma wanted to go, she knew Lily would want to go, but could she really subject herself to that? Wasn't she trying to get better?

No, she's being silly, how old is she? This is the time to have fun, she can be boring for the rest of her life, drinking wine with cheese and working herself to death. Now, she's young, this is the time she should be having fun, and she will, of course she will.

As she was killing herself with an internal debate, her phone buzzes and she pulls it out without much thought, switching it on to see a new message.

 **Regina Mills: Twins miss you, want to come over after school?**

Emma swallows a lump as it forms in her throat.

 **You: Mind if Lily comes, she's staying w us?**

Safe. Lily is safe, Regina is not.

 **Regina Mills: Sure... pick you guys up in 20?**

 **You: Yep see you then.**

Emma nods and slides her phone back in her pocket, looking up to see only ten minutes of school left. After shooting a quick text back to her Mom, then Lily, who was more than enough excited, unable to wait long enough to meet the Regina. This only made Emma want to call it off more, what if Lily says something? No, she wouldn't, she knew better, right?

Emma just shivered off the feeling, the rest of the period gliding by, she waved a goodbye to Killian who just yelled a 'let me know about the weekend.'

She met up with Lily at the locker they shared, pulling both their bags out without much a word. They walked to the flagpole, where they stayed to wait in the chill of the coming Winter for Regina.

"You going to be okay?" Lily asked, sucking on a lollipop.

Emma tried to breathe, she could just feel her vibes floating out of her, that of terror and excitement. "Yep." She replied quickly.

Lily nodded. "Okay then." She told. "You know, Belle was 21. When we broke up."

Emma got the idea. "Thanks, but it's like you said; my circumstances are different."

"Sorry." Lily replied.

"It's fine, I know you're-" she began, but seeing Regina's car she stopped. "Will you sit up front?" Emma asked, voice dry.

Lily lay a hand on the small of her back, guiding her towards the parked vehicle a few feet away. "No problem."

Opening the passenger's back door, Emma put on the most plastic smile she could muster as Regina looked back to her through dark sunglasses. "Hi, Emma." She smiled warmly.

Emma nodded and flushed white. "This is Lily, Regina, and yeah." She managed. Regina turned her gaze to the girl getting into her front seat.

"Lily, nice to meet you." She extended a hand, the two shook.

"You, too, _Regina_." Lily answered, dwelling a moment. Emma could feel the energy in the car shift.

"Where are the girls?" Emma asked. "I thought they'd be here already?"

"Oh, well, I haven't picked up yet." Regina informed, pushing forward as she rolled down her window. They drove in silence, until Lily broke it.

"So, what do you do?" She asked. "Regina." She added.

Regina cleared her throat as she rolled up the window. "What was that, dear?" She iterated.

Emma saw Lily turn to her. "I asked what you did, clearly a woman of you stature must have a job?" She smiled.

Regina grinned back, but it was more of a grimace. "I am a child's consoler, I help children that the police bring in, or assign to me." Emma heard it before she said it. "Like Emma."

At that moment her whole world cracked, right down the middle as she felt it turn to black and white, though to everyone else, it stayed the same.

"What?" Lily asked. "What do you mean _like Emma?"_

Regina opened her mouth then closed it, looking in the rearview to see and pale Emma in the back seat. "I'm sorry, I didn't- I thought you had known."

"Known?" Lily questioned. "Known what? Emma?" She asked.

"I-" Emma tried. "Regina?" She managed, shaking her head quickly.

"Emma's father brought her to me after the party incident, the one that you two got involved in, remember?" She covered.

Emma felt her lungs fill with air, her heart, once still, went on to pump her veins full of blood. "Right." Lily nodded. "You know about that."

"I do." Regina replied. "Not very friendly of you, dear."

Emma closed her eyes and fell back to the window, suddenly exhausted. Regina and Lily remained silent the rest of the ride to the school. Emma, the first to jump out of the car, back pack still in hand, as she had used it to keep her on the ground the whole ride.

"Em," Lily pointed to the bag.

Emma looked up, the down, she sighed.

"Do you want to put that in the trunk?" Regina asked, her glasses now atop her head, Emma could see her tired eyes, full of worry. Before she could answer, Regina had taken the strap and opened the trunk, tossing it inside before turning to give her a sorry smile.

Lily watched the interaction, Regina began to head inside, opening the door to wait for the pair. Lily just clenched her jaw and took Emma's hand, having to practically drag her inside.

Emma watched the woman as she signed the twins out, she was wearing capri black jeans with Nike tennis shoes in white and a dark gray knitted sweater under a leather jacket. Emma felt so strange in that moment, she felt as if she were going to simultaneously cry, scream, fall asleep, and kiss Regina senseless, but she knew she couldn't do any of the four, so she stayed standing, gripping Lily's hand as if it were her only source of strength.

After shooting a quick smile to the receptionist, Regina turned to the girls and motioned them to follow. They did so, Lily of course, taking the reins, as she had gotten the idea that her friend was as of now, incapacitated to do anything but breathe, if that.

Walking down to the third room on the right side of the hall, the sign reading in all colored letters; Mrs Walters. Regina opened the door for the two, they walked in to find about seven kids sitting in various places about the cluttered room, with short chairs and desk, different art of all colors and shapes hanging from a line of the ceiling by clothes pins.

In the back left corner was a desk, at it sat and old woman, who was standing and moving to them. She looked like someone off a documentary about witches and the supernatural, except she was the witch. In the kindest sense, but she had very witch-like features. Short, plump, large nose, warts, and gray wired hair that shot off in all directions.

"Who are these lovely ladies?" She asked with a lovely grin. Lily smiled back.

"I'm Lily," she turned to Emma, who was staring off at Eve, playing by herself with dolls and a Teddy bear. Emma let loose Lily's hand and walked stoically without a word to Eve. "That was Emma, she is having a day." Lily explained, Mrs. Walters only smiled in understanding and went over to Regina, as Lily took a seat at one of the short tables. She hardly fit in.

Emma sat on her knees by Eve. "Hi baby." She said quietly. Eve looked up sadly, then burst into a fit of smiles as she recognized the girl.

"Nemma!" She cried and wrapped her hands around her neck tightly. Emma choked a sob as she hugged her hard.

"How's my Eve?" She asked, quietly.

"Good, I playing with Sally and Spirit." She pulled back and introduced Emma. "Nemma?" She tilted her head, seeing Emma's red eyes, unable to hold back the tears. Eve took her hand in hers. "Why sad?"

"Nemma not sad." Emma whispered, closing her eyes. Eve just went and sat in her lap, holding on to her. "Nemma not sad." Emma repeated.

"Want to see the playground?" Eve asked. Emma nodded and Eve stood, Emma following. She turned back to Regina and Lily, both staring at her. She pointed to Eve then outside, hoping they couldn't see the tears in her eyes, but she knew they could.

"Where's Ava?" Emma asked.

"She in music, you guys early. B group in music until the bell." Eve informed.

"Where are you friends?" Emma asked.

Eve shrugged. "I don't have any, I hate them all."

"Why?" Emma asked.

"They mean, and don't want to play with Spirit. They just want to place house and Legos." She told as they approached a small playground with two slides, spinning stools and a swing set. Over to the far right was a set of monkey bars, but they looked to be too rusted for any fun.

"Oh, well Ava will play with you." Emma encouraged.

Eve shook her head, letting go of Emma's hand to climb the rope ladder. "Ava mean, too! She has friends and they all mean to me."

Emma felt anger bubble up in her stomach, rage, even, anything synonymous to such, she felt. "Did you tell Momma Gina?" She asked, using the name they gave Regina.

Eve shook her head. "Not a tattle tale, tattle tales don't make friends."

"You should tell Momma Gina, she wouldn't tell, then it would be okay." Emma said. "I'm your friend."

"You Nemma, not my friend." Eve sighed.

"I guess so." Emma said as they reached the slide, taking seat, Eve didn't move to go down. "But do you like school aside from that?" She asked.

Eve nodded. "Yeah, I don't need friends, I smarter than them." Emma smiled.

"I know you are." Then she gave Eve a tickle as she pushed her down the yellow slide. The girl giggled them screamed out as she descended. Emma felt herself cheer up, she loved Eve so much, she always felt the need to protect her, she wasn't like Ava, it was as if she was the one who always got the short end of the stick, she had the brains, Ava had the bronze.

Emma slide down after her as she heard her name being called, she saw Lily hanging out the door, when she saw Emma look to her, she motioned her inside. Emma looked to Eve, playing with pebbles in the sand. "Race you?" She asked. Eve smiled and stood, not replying as she sprinted towards the classroom, Emma let her win, by not by much, so there was still that competition she needed. "Blast, foiled again." Emma said, breathing heavily.

Eve giggled and went over to Regina who raised her brows with a happy expression as she knelt down. "Gina!" Eve greeted.

"Hi, Princess, were you surprised to see Emma?" She asked.

Eve rolled her eyes. "It's Nemma." She corrected.

Regina nodded in affirmation. "Of course, my apologies." She replied just as the door opened and after a college aged girl with a shaved head, once blue with more ear piercings than ears, in piled the rest of the class, Ava in the middle of the group holding hands with two other little girls.

When she laid eyes on Emma, she ripped away and ran to her. "Nemma!" She cried, all the kids looked to them, then away as there were more interesting things afoot. "Why you here?" She asked.

"To see you, of course!" Emma replied. Ava nodded, "come meet my friends!" She pulled Emma up and over to the two little girls who she had been holding when she walked in. "Hey."

The pair looked up, one with big curls and bigger eyes with skin the color of fresh coffee beans, the other with small almond shaped eyes and deep red hair, her bangs curling up mid forehead. "This Nemma," she pointed. Emma knelt down. "Nemma, this Melanie and Rowena."

Emma smiled and waved. "Hi." The girls both waved back. "What are you playing?" She asked. Melanie looked down then up, handing her a single block.

"We playing cards." She said.

Emma nodded. "Okay."

"You can't play." Rowena told her, taking the block away.

Emma felt rejected, even by these small little people. "Why?" She asked.

"You too big." She shrugged. Ava snatched the block back and placed it in Emma's hand.

"Shut up, Nemma play whenever she want."

Emma nodded. "Why don't you let Eve play?" She asked.

The girls looked between one another. "She not good at this game."

"Then play another game, she is good at games, she beats me all the time."

Rowena shrugged. "I don't like her."

Emma pinched her nose to her upper lip. "Uh, well she probably doesn't like you either." She retorted. "It's your loss, Eve is the coolest, she can just hang with us big kids, not you little babies." Emma replied and stood. "Ava, too." She added when Ava looked about to cry.

Emma walked off back to sit with Lily at the small table. Watching as Ava left her pack and went to hug Momma Gina's leg, the one Eve had not occupied. The woman looked bored as Mrs Walters continued to look to be in the middle of a very important discussion.

"You okay?" Lily asked.

"Yes, stop asking me that." Emma said in a breath.

"Sorry." Lily answered. "She's a bitch." She nodded towards Regina.

"I know." Emma agreed.

"I see why you dig it." She continued on.

Emma raked her eyes over her body as it stood. "It's not just that." She told.

"I know." Lily agreed. The girls watched as the twins detached themselves from Regina and made their way over. Emma smiled, they just glared at Lily, who grinned, with distrust.

"Who this?" Ava asked, hand on her hip.

"Lily." Emma replied, Eve climbing into her lap. Emma wrapped her arms around the bundle of a girl.

Ava walked over to Lily as if to inspect her. Poking her nose, Lily backed away at the intrusion. Ava just giggled and grabbed her hand. "'Mere." She said. Lily looked to Emma with a face of acceptance and surprise. Ava brought her over to a doll house and began to point things out and hand them to her until her hands were full.

Emma chuckled as she looked over to Regina, who watched her with curious eyes. Even when Emma made eye contact, she didn't look away. In fact, her stare was so blatant that even Mrs Walters looked Emma's way, that's when the girl looked away to find Eve asleep in her lap.

"Emma," Regina's soft voice fluttered in from across the room. "Let's go." She nodded towards the door. Emma tried to stand, pleading with her eyes for help. Regina just sighed and strutted over. She wrapped her hands around Eve, wandering a bit as Emma squirmed. "I was hoping you would come alone." She said, looking her in the eyes.

Emma immediately averted them, the gaze too intense for her overly emotional self in that moment. "I'm glad I didn't." Emma said.

"Oh yeah?" Regina quirked a brow. "Why is that?" She picked Eve's still sleeping form up.

"Shut up." Emma grumbled, standing and brushing past Regina.

"Emma," she scolded. Emma turned around, Regina gesturing for her to take the girl. Emma rolled her eyes and did so. As they were close, Regina leaned in. "I wouldn't be so quick to disrespect if I were you." She hushed. "Unless you want a _spanking."_ She iterated the last word slowly. Emma felt her face flush as she adjusted Eve on her hip.

She turned to see Lily staring at her knowingly, Regina, moving around her, her scent attacking Emma's nostrils, just as her voice had attacked her mind a moment ago.

"Come, Lily, dear, Ava." Regina called from the door, holding it open. Lily placed the wooden furnishings back in the house quickly obeying Regina, grabbing Ava's hand, who stood and made her way out with her.

Emma, carrying the dead weight of the girl, waiting by the first door for Regina, as she couldn't open it herself.

Once the girl's were in booster seats, Emma sandwiched between them, Regina asked where they would like to go for lunch.

"I'm not," Emma swallowed, mid-sentence, "hungry."

"Thirsty?" Regina asked quickly.

Emma turned red. "No." She said spitefully.

"Uh, I could go for a milkshake?" Lily said quietly. Emma watched as Regina smiled.

"Sounds wonderful." She agreed.

Lily nodded and pulled out her phone. Emma's buzzed moments later.

 **Lily: WTF**

 **You: What WTF?**

 **Lily: This is too weird 4 me**

 **You: Sorry, didn't know it would b like this**

 **Lily: When we getting back to your place?**

 **You: I'll ask**

"Hey, Regina?" Emma voiced.

"Hm?" Regina asked, merging left, to turn left.

Emma wiped over her nose. "When do you think you'll be able to drop us off?"

Regina moved her head left to right. "Whenever you two want," she looked to Lily, then back to the road. "I was thinking we could have a little sleepover."

Lily was taking a sip of water from her bag, and began to sputter and cough. Regina looked startled and pat her on the back as she fell forward. "You alright?" She asked.

Lily tried to stop her fit. After a moment she was able to sit up, Regina's hand still on her back. "Ahem, peachy." She replied, voice cracking. Regina slid her hand over her back quickly.

 **Lily: Cougar**

Emma chuckled.

 **You: Shut up**

After replying, she slid her phone into her pocket. "I can't, my parents have me on lockdown." She replied.

Regina nodded. "All fine." Emma just looked to the twins then out the window.

Before too long, the five pulled up in front of Granny's Diner. Emma stepped out the car, the last on to do such of course, and she froze.

"You okay?" Lily asked.

Emma blinked twice and turned to her, nodding. "Yeah, just, fine." She said as Eve slid a warm hand between hers, which was quite cold. The group walked in and took seat at the corner booth that was shaped like the crescent of a moon. Emma sat with the twins and Lily between her and Regina, though they were facing each other as if about to begin an intense rap battle.

The waitress, Ruby, from that night all that time ago pranced up, her face turned up even more, which Emma didn't think possible, when she laid eyes on Regina. "Ginny!" She cried. Regina gaped and stood to pull the girl into a tight embrace. The four other occupants of the table watching the display briefly before turning down to their menus.

"Ruby, still working with Granny, I see."

Ruby nodded, tucking a stand of hair behind her ear with one hand as she held Regina between them with the other. "Yeah, I mean, shit, Granny moved on up, she's opening up in New York right now, left this place to me, you know until she comes home." Ruby chuckled.

Regina smiled so wide, Emma thought her cheeks would rip. "I'm so happy for you, Rubes, really, and Granny too."

"Where have you been?" The girl asked. "I tried to call you, but your number is out of service." She shook her head.

Regina nodded. "I know, I know, I've been MIA." She pulled out her phone. "I've been meaning to come down and see you, I've just been so busy," she handed the phone to Ruby, "we'll have to go out, or you come over, you haven't seen my new place yet, have you?"

Ruby punched in her number, shaking her head, before sending a quick text. "No, I haven't." She handed it back to Regina. "We'll need to do something, though, like old times." She smiled.

Regina looked serious. "But this time we won't need to steal Granny's liquor."

Ruby let out a cackle as she recalled the times they would try and rob Granny of alcohol, the try to fill what they had drank in with water, but she always found out. Always. "Yeah, I would love that."

Regina nodded, then gave a warm smile before she sniveled and wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she laughed, Ruby just wrapped her up again. "Me too, would love that." She forced a laugh.

"Soon." Ruby confirmed, turning to Emma, who she caught staring. "Hey, Floor Fighter, ahh," Ruby recognized.

Emma flushed white. "Hi." She replied.

"Nice and healed up?" She asked, checking out her face.

Emma smiled, "for now." She replied.

"Like ya better this way." Ruby grinned, pulling out her pad of paper. Emma could smell her gum, same cinnamon as before. "Know what you want?" She asked.

Emma nodded, closing the menu. "Strawberry shake, please."

"With a cherry on top?" Ruby asked.

Emma nodded. "Pretty please."

Ruby grinned and tapped her pen at her before turning to Eve, who looked to Emma. Emma leaned down into her, "chocolate shakey." She whispered.

"Chocolate shake." Emma told Ruby.

Ava and Lily both ordered Vanilla Chocolate swirl shakes and a fry to share, Regina finished with a Root Beer float. Ruby returned first with coloring pages for the girls, and Lily as she requested, then again with shakes and the fry, but in a large basket, as she presumed that the table could share.

"Care to join?" Regina asked.

Ruby looked around the dinner, with about seven other attendants, she had another waitress on shift. Regina looked hopeful before asking Emma to scoot over, which she did. Ruby filled in next to her, so close she could feel the heat from her body.

Of course, being the useless lesbian she is, Emma just attempted to control her breathing and not inhale the scent of cinnamon gum, vanilla spice, and a hint of sweat as she moved to rest her arms on the table. The girl closed her eyes, inhaling her shake as she counted to four, then seven, 11. Nothing worked.

When she opened her eyes, they first found Regina, smirking at her, while listening to Ruby who was telling her all about business, life as it turned out. Emma took an annoyed breath and looked the other way, to Lily, deep in toddler conversation. The most interesting type of conversation, once the wall of strong cognition fell to the ground.

Lily, being the hippy dip she was, was having the time of her life, she had fries, and a small child, what more could she want. Eve looked to the ground, not trying to speak or color.

"What's wrong, Babes?" Emma asked, looking to see what secrets the floor held, if any.

Eve just stared. "I dropped the blue." She told her.

"Oh no." Emma realized, looking around to see if anyone heard; they hadn't. However, she saw a blue crayon over in front of Regina. Emma debated. She needed that crayon.

She signaled Regina's attention, harder than she expected because she had been quite content with staring just a moment ago. When she looked over, Ruby stopped speaking, Emma froze, she hadn't meant to stop the whole show, she just wanted the damn crayon.

So, she pointed awkwardly, trying to make herself small as Ruby watched. Regina picked up three different things before Emma gave in. "The damn blue crayon!" She said, more violently than intended.

The entirety of the table looked her way. Regina handing the crayon to the red-faced girl across from her. "Thanks." She said as she took it, handed it to Eve, who colored on happily once it was in her grasp.

The rest of the event had been equally as uncomfortable, not only Regina there to make her nervous, but Ruby as well, she hoped that the other woman hadn't noticed.

God, she couldn't wait to go home and forget about this all.

Her clarity came in the form of a little white bar, she and Lily both popped a couple just after 8, after dinner, and turned her room into a fort as they found it difficult to control their heavy muscles. They played King Kong as they accidentally tore down the fort, then fell to the ground, Her father, who heard the collision from downstairs, ran up in a fuss.

"Ladies," he sounded from the door, they struggled to face him, he raised a brow, "what's going on?" He asked, leaning into the door.

Emma laughed, "sorry, Daddy." She replied. "Our fort wasn't as stable as we thought."

He looked between the two of them, tangled on the floor before chuckling, "alright. Just, settle down, before your mother comes and shuts you down, or worse," he scolded mildly, "calls the cops." He joked. "Night, love you." He said as he closed the door.

Emma and Lily both replied similarly, out of tune before laughing loudly. "Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, shh," Emma hushed, sticking her finger up into Lily's gums, who licked it. "Ah." She wiped it on the girl's t shirt.

"Isn't," Lily tried, "isn't your dad a cop?" She asked, wheezing in a laugh.

Emma nodded, her face pressed together. "He's the chief of police."

Lily's face when flat in shock, then tore into a smile. "Not doin' a very good job." She said.

Emma chuckled and nodded her agreement. "I know." She laughed.

 **Retched muse**


	20. Chapter 20

**Naked City is a place in Las Vegas behind the Stratosphere and it's a really bad part of town where there's a lot of crime and the homeless population is large (as it is pretty much everywhere in Vegas)**

"And I told you no." Mary Margret told, crossing the kitchen as she tried to clean up the mess Emma had made trying to use the waffle maker.

Emma stomped her foot on the ground, "why?" She whined.

"Emma Swan," Mary Margret replied, appalled, "that is not how you act."

Emma pouted her lip and turned to look around the room, "please?"

"No," her mother replied. "That's the last time I'm going to tell you, unload the dishwasher like I have been asking you for the past twenty minutes."

Emma groaned and trudged angrily to the washer and yanked it open, lazily and angrily putting away the cups, the plates, and of course the utensils in her fit. Which lasted all of about ten minutes until she was flopping her bitter self up the stairs to go and pout elsewhere.

Once her face hit the pillow, she pulled out her cell and texted Lily, notifying her that she would indeed not be able to go camping this weekend, and would instead be rotting in her house. Lily had been staying in her house alone for the past week, after Mary Margret had gotten upset about the empty cereal and poptart boxes for the eighth time.

If she were completely honest, she was just a tad jealous, because for a whole week, Lily has been doing nothing but smoking and eating all by herself. It was a crime, that while she was in school, her best friend was rocked out in her bed watching Nurse Jackie and napping. Although, at least Emma would be passing this semester.

On the bright side, she was now a permitted driver, with a car. Well, a truck that was older than her, and her mother, but hey, it ran. She had been taking full advantage, and since the school was just around the corner, she was able to make her own commute. Driving was strange to her, but she was yet to crash or run anything over. What a feat!

However, no amount of such luck was going to last long since she was about to do something drastic, she was about to take the car. At night, which was something that was absolutely forbidden to her. There was a large chance that she would not follow through with this plan, since now that she had hit the bed she did not want to leave.

Just as she was conspiring, she remembered. It was Friday, and her mother had no problem with her going to Lily's, and even though she wouldn't have her car, she would still have her freedom. And her dignity.

Well, that was debatable.

"Mother dearest," Emma sang, swinging back into the kitchen.

MM looked up and rolled her eyes, not prepared for the angst filled gust of teenage rebellion that was a comin' her way. "Yes,"

"I'm oh so sorry for being rude earlier," Emma put a hand to her heart, "that was wrong of me." She admitted, albeit a bit sarcastically.

"And?" She went on.

"And I would like it very much if I could go to Lily's," she smiled, "and eat _her_ hard earned cereal products."

MM laughed and turned to look at the clock, 6:30. "Well," she sighed, "I suppose you can do that."

Emma smiled and turned, grabbing her keys on the way out.

"Woah, woah," MM called, "come back here."

Emma flinched and turned back, "problem?" She asked innocently.

Her mother sighed, "Emma, I swear if you go anywhere but to Lily's, you will never leave this house."

"I know, Ma." Emma said, her voice cracking. MM looked her over with suspicious eyes, "puberty." Emma sighed. "I'll see you later." She said, "love you!" She called from over her shoulder.

The drive over to Lily's consisted of the Dido CD that was stuck in the player, and had been for the past 6 years when it broke. But, those twelve songs were a hell of a lot better than any of the chalk screeching pop that the radio is pouring into the ears of the innocent now a days.

" _Touch my skin, and tell me what you're thinking. Take my hand, and show me where we're going,"_ Emma sang as she pulled into the driveway, a near miss of the piece of shit Saturn that Lily was occasionally allowed to use. Which, was strictly illegal, and never happened, of course.

Emma jumped of the the seat and slammed the door, walking right in through the next one she was face with. Lily was planted on the couch with a bag of cheddar Ruffles, giggling up into the face of nurse Jackie. The second she walked in the door, she was slapped in the face with the rank smell of marijuana and.. something else.

"Dude," Emma said, pulling her sleeve up to her nose, "what the fuck _is_ that?"

Lily looked up and smiled, her eyes bloodshot, "hey!" She greeted, twirling into an upright position, "what's up?"

"Nothing," Emma scrunched her nose and sniffed, "really, though, what is that?" She asked. Lily shrugged.

"I don't smell anything." She told. Emma nodded, falling next to her and stealing the bag.

"How was your day?" She asked between crunches.

Lily shrugged, "eh." Emma nodded, then they sat in silence trying to figure out what was happening on the screen, because it was clearly important. "Oh, hey, I invited August over." She told.

Emma groaned, "why?"

Lily stopped chewing, "uh because I'm horny and he's available." She said and shook her head, as if the answer we embedded in the skin of her forehead.

Emma flinched, "that's gross."

Lily laughed, "oh, as if," She scolded with humor. "You know you'd be getting jiggy right now, you know, if your woman wasn't a whole ass mom."

Emma's humor died at that, it's not as if Lily's blows towards Regina were subtle. She played it off with a sly shrug. "We do it all the time."

"Mm. I bet." Lily told.

"I can have sex whenever I want." She argued.

"When your Sex Mom isn't servicing other kids."

"I'm not a kid. And she isn't my sex mom." Emma retorted.

"Really?" Lily chuckled.

"Yes, really!" Emma said, a little louder than expected, "she doesn't have a, a freaking claim on me." She shrugged, "that's _illegal."_

"Is that right? Seemed to me like she had you pretty tame." Lily continued.

Emma gawked, "I can do whatever I want." She told.

"I bet." Lily replied.

"And whoever." She told.

"Yeah?" Lily replied.

"Mhm." Emma answered.

Lily looked over at her before giving a nod, "prove it." She challenged.

Emma swallowed and looked down at Lily's lip, instinctively licking her own before crashing into them. Her mind was flooding with different desires. On one hand, she didn't like to fall victim to Lily's teasings, it also wasn't like Regina did have some sort of claim on her. She made it perfectly clear that she didn't want to get in the middle of the law.

On the other hand, this made her feel dirty, as she was tongue deep in her best friend's throat, she hated that she hated it, but hated it more that she was enjoying it. It was easy, because with Lily, everything was. She gasped when a cold hand met the waistband of her leggings, and slipped inside.

Just as she was about to become the lady who doth protest too much, there was a splitting knock on the door. The pair jumped back, the elastic snapping on her stomach. Emma kept her gaze down as Lily glanced at the door.

"Do you want me to," she began. Emma shook her head, and the girl stood, glancing back at her once more before opening the door, "hey."

August walked inside, looked around before he noticed Emma, "is this?" He pointed to her, looked to Lily. Emma felt herself about to retch, as she shook her head and headed out the door.

"Emma, wait!" Lily called.

"I'll talk to you later." Emma replied, hearing the front door slam just before her own. She pulled out her phone, tucking a piece of hair behind her ears as she scrolled through her contacts. In the time that took versus just entering the number in, she thought maybe she would change her mind.

The phone was placed on her ear as she tapped her foot against the brake pedal as it rang.

"Well, just when I thought you had enough of me." Regina answered.

Emma spit out a laugh, "you almost got away."

"Just barely." She replied, "is something wrong?"

Emma shook her head, "do I really only call when something is wrong?"

On the other side of town, Regina moved her head side to side as she poured apple juice into a sippy cup with her free hand. "I noticed a pattern."

"I'm sorry." Emma admitted.

Regina smiled, "I miss you."

Emma nodded as she swallowed her truth, "I miss you, too." She whispered.

Regina squinted as she stared out at the street below, "you wanna come over?" She asked. "I made muffins, and turnovers, and casserole, Emma I'm so bored." She sighed.

The blonde laughed, "yeah, I do, I'm at Lily's."

"Oh." Regina replied.

"Not like," she covered, "I mean I drove here and my mom won't let me drive into the city. Not without her or Dad."

"Oh yes, the permit, how suffocating." She joked.

"I know!" Emma replied, "it's like I can taste the freedom but I can't bite it."

"Is freedom ice cream?" Regina countered.

Emma chuckled, "I was thinking frozen yogurt."

"That doesn't sound very free." Regina replied.

"It can go both ways." Emma told. "Well, I can ask if my mom will take me."

Regina shook her head, "why don't I just pick you up?"

Emma groaned, "it makes me feel five."

"And, your _mother_ dropping you off is any better?" She asked, confused.

"True." Emma said.

"How about this," Regina vocally twirled her hair, "I can get a sitter, pick you up, and we'll go have some fun."

"Mm, what did you have in mind?" She asked.

"You'll just have to wait and see." Regina told.

Emma felt guilt flood in her stomach, "I'll see you soon, okay?"

"Okay." Regina smiled, hanging up the phone.

Emma turned her phone off and leaned back into the seat, puffing out a breath before running her fingers through her hair. Shaking her head and sniffling, she turned the key and revved the engine before backing out of the drive and heading home, this time in silence.

Once she arrived she walked in and settled into the couch, her mother came down the stairs a moment later, "David?" She asked into the dark living room.

Emma turned, "no it's me." She replied.

Her mother walked down the steps, "what happened to Lily's?" She asked.

Emma shrugged, "uh, she wasn't home, so I'm going to Regina's to see the girls. If that's okay?"

MM nodded, "yeah that's fine, is she coming to get you, because I could-"

"No she's coming," Emma interjected when she trailed off.

"Okay, well, have fun." She said, staring at Emma, who was staring at her phone.

"Thanks, you, too." She said monotonously.

"Hm." MM hummed and walked back in the direction she came. "Call me if you need me." She called back.

"I will." Emma replied, not loud enough for the woman, now behind a closed door to hear her. Then, she waited, scrolling through Buzzfeed, which was a wonderful application that she had newly discovered and now, her life was changed forever.

The hour it took for Regina to haul her ass here, but that was before Emma took into consideration all that she had to do with the twins and all. Still, she was bitter and thought herself a priority.

As she ran out into the wind, not regretting wearing a bright orange Naruto hoodie, especially when she saw Regina in similar attire, except black and from NYU.

"Hey," she blushed, but it could have easily been blamed on that wind chill.

"Hey," Regina replied. "So, I have Jade all night, my sitter," she explained as Emma watched, kind of not really hearing the words as she spoke them. "So we're good." She ended with a shy smile.

Emma blinked back and nodded, "okay," she told.

"How was Lily?" She asked.

Emma felt a sting in her chest, "what why?"

Regina moved forward, "you said you were at her house. What happened?"

"Oh," Emma sighed, turning to look out the window, "she was too busy for me."

"Mhm?" Regina questioned.

"She was being a bitch."

The woman chuckled, "shouldI say I'm surprised?"

Emma shook her head in sour contempt, "no, I just, I don't know." She sighed. "She was just being so confrontational and then we kissed and this guy came over and he thought that I was there to have a threesome or whatever and,"

Regina felt jealousy, or something fill up her gut, "woah, back it up," she interrupted, "you what?"

Emma shook her head, "we kissed, but," she tried.

"That's what I thought you said, but uh, uh," she replied. "I thought I didn't have to worry about Lily? Friends, right?" Regina accused.

Emma pinched her thighs, "yeah, I know, but she was pushing me and I,"

"You what?" Regina blurted, "you shut her up by swallowing her tongue? I know you don't know much about friends, but that's not how it works, honey."

Emma felt herself grow red, "don't talk to me like that." She said.

"Like what?"

"Like," she shrugged her whole body, "like, I don't know, some kind of idiot."

Regina laughed, "well if the shoe fits."

Emma shook her head, "screw you." She bit her tongue.

"Mm." Regina answered. "Right."

They sat in silence a while, as if both trying to come up with some sort of retort. Emma, was quickest to respond, "you know I don't see what the big deal is!" She said, trying to sound convincing.

"Oh, you don't?" Regina tried, "think about it."

Emma squinted at the woman, who was not looking at her, but at the road, and the many cars before her. "It was just a kiss!" Emma replied, "it's not like I let her fuck me or something."

Regina took a deep breath before replying, calm as she could. "Emma, if it was no big deal you wouldn't have told me."

"Uh, no." Emma answered in an obvious tone, "I tell you everything. So, even if it wasn't a big deal, which it wasn't, I'm sure it would have came up anyway, and, AND, you asked."

Regina slammed the brakes as the car before her were closer than it should be, "sorry."

"Apology accepted," Emma replied.

Regina looked at her then shook her head, "no, not about that, I'm still mad at you." Emma flared her hands in confusion, "I'm sorry for the whiplash."

"Regina!" Emma yelled.

"Stop yelling! I'm two feet away from you in a closed space, I can hear you." She told. Emma just groaned and put her feet up on the dash, "uh, uh." Regina said, the girl glared and took them down before rolling the widow down and leaning out of it.

"Yesterday, there was an owl outside my window," she said quietly, "not like directly, but in the tree." She danced her fingers over the sill, "according to the internet it was a Northern White Faced Owl. I don't know if that's right, but it was only there a second before it," Regina turned the radio on, "really?" No reaction.

Emma moved to turn the thing off, or down, but her hand was slapped away, every time she tried. She tried about six times. "Regina!"

"I want to go to the beach." She said.

Emma sighed in relief, because at least she was saying words, "yeah?"

"Yeah." She answered. "It's too far, though," she pouted, "and cold."

Emma smiled and thought for a moment, "you know, there's a fair in town, we could go there." She suggested.

"Is there a petting zoo?" She asked.

Emma shook her head, "I-I think so."

Regina nodded, "where is it?" She asked, Emma smiled and gave her the directions.

When they arrived, the wind was stronger than the smell of gasoline and angry clowns, there were small drips of rain falling on their noses. Regina pulled up her hood as they leaned against the car, staring at the dark lot, with rides still littered about.

Emma looked over at the hooded figure of the woman, and sighed, because this fair was her saving grace, now, she didn't know what to do. "I'm sorry." She said.

"Don't be." Regina replied, sitting on the hood of the car, patting the metal for Emma to join. "I'm sorry, too."

Emma laughed, "no." She said. "I can just be _double_ sorry." Regina laughed and took her hand, brought it under her chin as Emma scooted closer. "I brushed my teeth really hard after," Regina looked over at her, Emma just stared up at the sky, "yeah, my gums started to bleed and it was a whole fiasco." She said amusingly, "I felt, so gross." She shuddered.

"Yeah?" Regina grinned.

Emma took this time to look over at her, only inches from her now and she smiled, "yeah." She said quietly. Regina just grabbed her hand as she pulled her nearer, resting her forehead against the girl's.

Emma closed her eyes as she inhaled her scent, hoping to recognize it. Regina opened one eye and glared at Emma, "are you going to kiss me, Emma?" She asked.

Emma pursed her lips into an almost uncontainable grin as she nodded, just before lifting her chin to meet the brunette's lips.

It was different than with Lily, obviously, she hadn't just eaten cheese chips, and there feeling wasn't that of disgust and regret, but of content and just that. It was that feeling when you almost slip, but catch yourself, the feeling when you can finally breathe after having a cold. It was all the moments she has ever taken for granted, because she knew this wouldn't be one of them.

Emma moved closer, so that they were in one single indentation on the hood, pressed together as she reached around, her hands trailing over the warm skin beneath the concealing jacket. She raked her nails over the expanse of Regina's back as the woman's breath was on her nose, every so often capturing her lips in a lingering kiss.

Each time, Emma would smile, and in effect, so would Regina. Before long, Emma was falling asleep, she could tell because she breaths became slower, and the movement of her hands were jerky and far between. "Emma," she said quietly.

"Mm." Emma groaned.

Regina smiled, "do you want to leave?" The girl nodded slowly and began to sit up. The brunette following in suit as she took in a breath, feeling a part of the world once more, and the world was cold and dark.

Emma rubbed her eyes as she slid off the car and into the front seat, leaning against the window, trying to keep her eyes open. "I tired." She said.

"Did you sleep well last night?" Regina asked.

"Yeah, no, it's just the," she drifted, as she realized what she almost revealed, "no-thing." She said slowly. "I just- I yeah just, you know?"

Regina shook her head, "no." She replied slowly, "I don't." She looked over at Emma curiously, placing a hand on her forehead, which the girl tried to smack away, but missed. "Emma," she drew out.

"R-gina?" She was questioned.

"Did you take something?" Regina asked, feeling worry dance up into her face. Emma shook her head, her eyes still closed. "Open your eyes." Emma shook her head more viciously.

Regina then grabbed her face in one hand, turning on the overhead light before opening her eyelid, finding the organ to be dry and red. Regina placed her head back down and fell against her seat, turning the light off in a huff.

Emma peeked over at her, "you're mad at me."

Regina shrugged as she rested against the window, "I just," she sighed, "I don't see why you keep doing this to yourself." When she looked over, Emma's eyes were open and looking.. in her general direction, "Emma."

"I can't," Emma choked out, "look at you, because I feel," she exhaled, "weird."

"Please, look at me." Regina said. Emma shook her head, "I'm not mad at you."

"Yes you are," Emma replied. "First I kissed Lily, then I, then this, and I don't mean it, and I'm sorry, but you know, you, you don't need this." Emma replied. Regina just listened as her words slurred together as she fell asleep, almost, "she told me, 'don't sleep Emma, or it'll," she coughed and chuckled, "'or it'll kill the high.'"

Regina closed her eyes and nodded, "Lily?"

Emma nodded, "yeah, she's a good friend." Then she scrunched her features, "actually, no." She shook her head, "she's a horrible friend. She's mean and slutty and fucked up."

"Then why are you friends with her Emma?" Regina asked stoically.

"I just because it makes sense, you know, to be with people, for the people who are messed up to be together."

"You're not messed up."

Emma laughed, "right, and water is a liquid."

"It is." Regina replied.

"And water is air!" Emma corrected. "I'm sorry, Regina, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this, I want to, to have fun with you, because you're," she swallowed, "you're my person. I just, I thought you would be mad at me and I needed the thing so that if you yelled at me I could just go to sleep and it would all be okay." She nodded, "the pill," she held her fingers apart in the shape of a pill, "it makes things better."

Regina looked away as she started the car, "stay awake." She ordered. Not that she thought the girl would. "Can you do that?" She asked. Emma nodded, "no, you can't." Regina admitted, to herself mostly, "okay, tell me a story."

Emma blew air, "okay, about?" She asked.

"Tell me about your family." Regina suggested.

Emma nodded, "okay, well. Uh, my mom, no. I tried to cook earlier last night, I tried to use this waffle presser that I found at Goodwill when I got there. To Goodwill. I made a large mess, and she was made because I had, no no, she was mad because she had to clean it after I burned my hand. So, no waffles."

"Another." Regina told her, nearly running a red light.

"Ugh!" Emma groaned, "this is boring."

"Please." Regina asked.

"I have to pick up Henry from school now, and the last time I did, he brought his friends and there was no space in the cab and I was scared that I would mess up if they were all near me, so they had to sit in the bed. The truck bed, you know, right?"

"Yes."

"Right." Emma said, "and they all had these art projects, some sort of wind.. wind bells, and I told them to leave them in the front, because they were all," she made motions with her hands as she described, "holding them. I told them, but they insisted on taking them, so they could see if they worked, but you know, they couldn't hold onto them, I tried to go slow, because I didn't want them to blow away, but, but there was a man behind me. I don't like driving around people, and Henry thought it was funny, but his other friends wanted to go back.

I said no, because, because I was lazy and just wanted to," Emma opened her eyes, "to be alone. Regina," she looked over at her, "where are we going?" She asked.

"I have to show you something." She told.

Regina drove, listening to Emma, though her stories were no longer stories and just words that blended together into a mass that made less sense than a dog named Scotty. Or a person names Scotty.

She drove until she reached the Naked City, in the parts of town she never went, except when she did home visits with a patient, one who she no longer treated. She crept her car down an alley before stopping behind the only building with an open door.

"Emma," she nudged the girl in the arm. "Come on." She said as a man walked out the door, she nodded his way in greeting as she stood by the door.

Regina pulled Emma, who was putting her entire weight on her arm, into the building that had a scent that could only be described as internal organs on the outside.

"Why are we here?" Emma asked, pulling herself into the woman.

"I want you to meet someone." She said, making way up the stairs and into an office, the lights were purple, and yellow, the wood was cracked and stained, the furniture was leather. "Sit," she said. Emma did so, her eyes open, and glancing around nervously. "How are you feeling?" Regina asked, arms crossed as she stood by the door.

Emma just shrugged. "Are you still high?" Regina asked, since she had to be specific.

"I don't know." Emma replied, because she didn't really want to say yes.

Regina rolled her eyes away from the girl, "it'll only be a minute." She said.

As if on cue, the door opened and the person who walked in was, surprising, even to Emma, who sort of felt like a different part of the world.

"Emmy!" She was greeted, "and Regina, how nice of you to visit."

"Evening Mal, I see business is booming." Regina replied.

"I do well." She nodded and sat across from Emma with an unfazed smile, Regina watched from her spot as the woman with sharp nail pinched at Emma's face. "Hm."

"What are you doing?" Emma asked.

"I don't know, but it's annoying, right?" Mal asked. Emma moved her face away to look at Regina, who just looked unamused. "So, fill me in." She laughed, "just kidding. Ah," she sat back, "but how's Lily tonight, I hope she's going to school."

Emma glared, "no."

Mal nodded, "yeah, sounds like her. Have you been to the house?" Emma nodded slowly, "mess?" She asked, another nod, "damn that girl."

"What?" Emma asked, "what the fuck is happening? You're _here_?" Mal nodded, Emma shook her head.

"What's wrong, Emmy?" She asked. "You feel bad for Lily, or for yourself?"

"I-what's, what is wrong with _you?_ You're at a strip club when you have a kid at home, who's-" Emma tried, but a finger made it's way to her mouth.

"I own a strip club." Mal told, "and Lily is doing this to herself, she knows that if she wants to do better she can-"

"No she can't!" Emma replied, "she needs you."

Mal chuckled, "no, honey, she doesn't. Lily needs, she needs to find herself."

Emma just glared at her, "okay. Right." She said. "I don't understand what this has to do with me."

"You're not like Lily." She said, "you have people to help you, people who love you."

"Are you saying-"

"No, I love my daughter, but I don't parent in a," she twirled her hand, "conventional way. I gave Lily her options, and this is what she chose to do with them."

"You're fucking-"

Mal nodded, "yeah," she said, "but honey, the point is, is that, you don't get to be like Lily. Lily, she's rogue by choice, the reason her life is fucked is because she chose it to be, but you, well you just got handed some bad cards." She sighed, "it's just how it is. Now, despite having all you have, all that is available to you to lead you on the right path, you choose to, to be like Lily." She smiled, "you don't want that."

"I don't understand."

"Do you like me?" Mal asked.

Emma slowly replied, "I think you're a terrible parent."

"Would you want to be like me?" She asked.

"No." Emma admitted.

"Then I think," she looked over at Regina. "you need some help."

"I-"

"Look, I've been smiling and talking to you like you are six years old for the past 8 minutes and that is more smiling and baby talk than I have done in a long time, do you understand me or not?" She said through clenched teeth, Emma nodded and watched as her face fell, "right."

"Thank you?" She said.

"Right." Mal replied, before leaving the room, "goodnight." She said.

Regina smiled at her, "ready?" She asked.

Emma nodded, "I'm so tired."

Regina shook her head, "understandably."

Emma wrapped her arm around Regina's before looking up, "I still don't know what happened." Emma replied.

"Yeah, you probably won't remember this very clearly." She replied.

"You tried, though." Emma said appreciatively.

Which she did, try that is.


	21. Chapter 21

This morning, greeted her with the contrary sensations of both the chill from the open window, and the heat of damp breath on her chest. As her eyes waved open to be met with her room, filled with the dim morning light that poured in past the fluttering curtains.

It was mornings like these that made her not want to get out of bed, but it was mornings like these that she knew she would have to eventually.

In all the time she had lived in her condo, she had made it a ritual to leave all the windows open in the fall, she loved the chill in the air just before the winter came and snatched away the kind cold, replacing it with bitter bites. However, now that she no longer lived alone, she had only a few hours to perform her ritual before grumpy little girls came trudging into the kitchen shivering and mumbling of it being too cold.

She wasn't complaining, because now that the hours to herself were quick to pass, she had to force herself to appreciate them more. The best part was, it was the morning, when her mind was hardly as woke as her body, and she could drink a bottle of sparkling water, or ginger tea in peace before her brain was sent into overdrive and she had no choice but to catch up with it.

Because mornings like these, were what she lived for.

This morning, with the blonde hair tangled in her tank top, under her arms, she almost thought of breaking tradition, only with the hopes of making a new one. Though, she really did want some tea. With a kiss to a frizzy hairline, she managed to untangle herself, sitting on the edge of the bed a moment before pushing off her knees to a stand.

Feeling like Snow White, letting all the forest creatures in, she opened the paneled glass of her windows, breathing in, smelling the cold as it invaded her home. Lucky enough for her, she lived just far enough outside the city, that she was clear of the scent of the Carbon Footprint.

As she made her tea, she let her mind drift to Emma, how they spent their night together, like the night before, though this time the girl would remember. She thought of how she allowed for her to wander, where no one has been allowed to go, she remembered pants in her ear, she remembered it all, she knew she would cherish it.

As she did, the feeling, the twisting feeling low in her abdomen returned, the one that comes when she thinks of death, when she thinks of Emma.

Though Regina is fair with herself, happy with herself, she can't help but allow for self doubt to rear it's ugly head on any and all of the things she does. She feels now as though she is being used, that Emma doesn't love her in return.

Regina has never loved someone like she loves Emma, the way that makes her feel like the blonde is holding the threads that keep the universe together. The way that she feels as though she could survive over just breathing the same air, being in the same room, she could love off being meters away, because at least she knows that her love is there.

Never had she loved a person like that, never had she loved anything like that. What if it was taken away? What if it never existed? Strong as she may be, could she survive such a loss?

Shaking her head, she knew that she would have to, because she knew it was coming. This was all her fault, another thing that she knew.

From the very beginning, she told herself and told herself, not to get involved with Emma Swan. Clearly, despite her best efforts she was unable to keep herself at a distance. While she could go and toss the blame right back, she knew that any trouble they could get into would be just as much if not more her fault.

She had self control, she had morals, ethics, she was a person of emotional power over this girl, how would that look? She knew, it would look like manipulation, rape, all of which were punishable.

Yet, here she was, waking up with someone half her age, and only the logical part of her mind seemed to care.

Because the rest of her was screaming; it's love!

How could she deny that? How could she push that away. She never believed when people said that love drives a person to do things they could never think of doing, yet here she was. If there was ever a time she wished to be another, it was now.

No matter how much her brain would fight it, she knew she wouldn't be letting that go. Now, as she was absently drinking her tea, she was happy, and content.

"Good morning." Emma's voice swayed into the kitchen, wrapped in a blanket, hair still a mess.

Regina righted herself and smiled, "hey." She greeted, "how did you sleep?"

Emma nodded, sitting on the floor next to an open window, resting her head against it. "Good," she sighed.

Regina kept her gaze on Emma a moment longer, before moving back to the stove. "You know, I was thinking," she began, pouring tea, "you and I could go to a couple of open houses."

"Why?" Emma asked.

"Well, when I was in college my friends and I would go on Sundays to look at the houses, it's fun." Regina told. "Also, because I'm selling this place, and I would like to have somewhere to live once it pulls through."

Emma looked up, "wait why?"

Regina shrugged, putting her mug under her chin. "It's getting a little tight," she sighed, "and I want a dog."

Emma nodded slowly, "are you okay?" She asked.

Regina squinted, "yes. Are you?"

"I didn't know you liked dogs." Emma turned out towards the window.

"I want two dogs, I want to adopt them, even if they aren't puppies, I just want cute ones," she smiled, "ones that don't pee on my future clean carpet."

Emma chuckled, "yeah."

"So, we can go?"

"Yeah." She smiled.

"Yay!" Regina exclaimed, setting down her mug before clapping and turning out of the room, "I'm going to shower." She moved to kiss Emma, who closed her eyes and grinned.

"Have fun." She said a moment after.

"Always," Regina replied over her shoulder. Emma turned back out the window, looking down on the sidewalk, where the only walkers were pigeons. Could pigeons be considered walkers, did they even walk?

Emma heard shuffling behind her, and whipped around to see Regina in a towel, who smiled wide before grabbing her arm and dragging her up.

Emma's feet moved, her head reeling back, "what's happening." She stated quietly. Though, her answer came in the form of being stripped and pushed into the shower.

From her place on the edge of the bed, Emma pulled on a pair of knee high leather boots over gray leggings, looking up to Regina, still only in her undergarments, shoving clothes around her closet.

"For having more clothing than my entire family, you seem to be having trouble." Emma stated. Regina didn't turn around, brushing the comment off with her hand.

"Well, I usually plan out my outfits the night before, like in my head, but you know very well, I was a bit occupied." Regina replied saucily as Emma blushed, her head down and fiddling with the jammed zipper.

"Mm," she whined, slapping her boot until the brunette turned around, "it's stuck." She pouted. Regina smiled and walked over to her, pulling up the zipper in a swift move, before switching up to kiss Emma languidly.

She pulled back quickly, "leather," she muttered before trotting back into the closet. She looked over her shoulder to Emma, who seemed to be watching her dance about the closet, now with purpose, and closed the door.

When she emerged, she was clad in leather tights, a white sweater, and black combat boots, and she knew she looked like the finest straw in the stack.

The girls were tucked into their carseats, Emma and Regina on either side, each attempting to shove the bloody belt in, which always seemed to jam. But, after giving the device what looked to be CPR for about twenty seconds, whatever crumbs or alien probe seemed to be the culprit, had succumbed to their superior strength.

Regina slammed the door behind her, feeling accomplished. Settling into her seat, she opened her notes, which contained a list of houses she wished to visit. Meaning, ones she could actually afford.

Clearing her throat, pushing a strand of hair behind her ear, "so, we have a three bedroom, two and a half bath, built in the 70's." She nodded, "hmm, could be cool. Retro." She drew the word out.

Emma nodded, "sure."

Regina tilted her head, "you okay," she placed her palm over the girl's hand.

Emma sniffed, pulling her hand away, "fine, let's just," she sighed, "let's go."

Pursing her lips, she drew her hand back and turned over the engine, "so, what'll it be today, girls? Hannah Montana? Maybe some Kelly Clarkson?" She looked to Eve in the rearview.

"Avril!" She exclaimed, clapping. Eve had a thing for early 2000's pop.

"Hell yeah." Regina said quietly, turning on Complicated, looking pointedly over to Emma, but only for a brief moment.

"Momma G!" Ava tuned in, "'riah Carey!"

Regina grinned, putting the album, Emancipation of Mimi, by Queen of All Everything Mariah Carey. Luckily, the first song that came on was 'It's Like That', which basically cured all diseases in 2005.

" _Cause it's my night, no stress, no fights, I'm leavin' it all behind,"_ Regina, as well as Ava sang, while Eve played with her hair, and Emma turned away to the window.

By the end of Shake it Off, they had arrived at the house, which looked like something off the set of The Lovely Bones, with a sloping rooftop, rusty brick columns, and yellow patterned concrete between them.

"Yay!" Regina sighed, sliding out of the car to set free the small child that was trapped in the clutches of the deadly safe car seat. "We're gonna look in this house!" She told.

"Ooh!" Ava replied, popping out of the car just as Eve rounded, hand on the back bumper as she had been told. When she was facing Regina, who was buttoning Ava's green and red flannel under her black coat, she pulled her sleeve.

"Yes, dear?" Regina muttered, not looking up as she fiddled with a button, " _shit_."

"Nemma need you." She told, "she said."

Regina looked up and around, after not finding Emma in sight she stood, looking down at the twins, "hold hands," she told, grabbing only Eve's.

Making her way to the passengers side of the car, she looked down to see Emma sitting against the side of the car, in a panic she kneeled beside her, feeling her forehead with the back of her hand.

"Don't _touch_ me," Emma slapped her hand away.

"You feel warm, are you sick?" Regina asked, ignoring the blow.

"No, I just want you to go." Emma replied, closing her eyes.

Regina sighed, standing, "get up." She ordered.

"Regina, fucking leave." Emma whined. Regina bent down to grab her arm, pulling her, even as the girl tried to flap free, "dude, let go!" She exclaimed.

"Emma Swan!" Regina swatted once she had yanked Emma to her feet, "act right. You're coming in." She told, taking her hand in the one not holding Eve's.

"Nemma in trouble." Ava sang.

"Let go!" Emma tried to pull away, "Regina, please." She asked, though she remained in a hold until they stepped through the door.

Emma shuffled around the house, with Eve, after Regina had told her to walk her around until she can play nice.

"It's annoying." Emma told, "I don't even want to be here." She said, watching Eve swing on the set in the back yard, she recently learned to kick, and insisted she didn't need Emma's help, but the girl stood behind just in case.

Emma watched as the little blonde toddler moved back and forth, she watched until she forgot what she was looking at and let her mind drift away, but only for a moment until she was pulled back to life.

Life, which was all about how she had gone two days without a single pill, shot, or hit, and it was making her itch. It was making her skin crawl because for weeks she hadn't been sober long enough to remember to take a pill, or a shot, or a hit, because it was a constant.

It was so normal, that she could eat dinner with her parents while strung out. It was so normal, she could call them, but the only thing she couldn't do is drive, not even to the gas station down the road.

The only time she was sober enough to drive, was after school, when she was coming down, everything felt kind of funny, and she picked up Henry, took him home, then had her fix.

Now, even though she should be having fun, looking at houses with her lovely, and her babies, she couldn't even see them, all she saw, and felt was how much she wanted to get out of there and get high. It disgusted her how much she would rather be cleaning up vomit in Lily's bathroom, because at least she'd be high.

As she sat cross legged in the grass, focusing on the slow swinging of Eve, whose ponytail would swing just as she did, she wondered how long this would take. She wondered if Regina would take her home after this. She hoped, because home meant no more of this ache.

As she wondered, the woman in question walked out of the house, waved to Eve excitedly, before frowning at Emma.

"Did you even look?" She asked.

Emma felt annoyance behind her eyes, she tried to mask it, but it wasn't her, "she wanted to swing." She told.

Regina sighed, "well did you see the place? Pretty nice, right?" She asked, brow raised, skipping to sit beside Emma.

Scooting away, Emma nodded, "mhm."

Regina grabbed Emma's cheeks and turned her face, "what's wrong?" She asked, squishing them to look as if her mouth was moving to speak the words.

"I just don't feel good." Emma explained, looking to the grass.

"Yeah?" Regina asked.

Emma nodded, picking blades from the earth.

"You wanna go home? I can take you, it's pretty close to the next place I'm looking at." She told.

Sighing, "yeah, but I don't want to ruin your day, I get this is important to you." She explained.

"Psh," Regina brushed it off, "you kidding? I'm sick of you, anyway." She joked. "Come on," She took Emma's hand in hers and helped her up, placing a kiss on her cheek, "Evie, come on." She called.

Emma smiled shyly, before flicking her hair out of her face.

Punching in the garage code, she didn't wait for it to open fully as she waved back to Regina and ducked under the moving door. Her mother's car was gone, meaning she and Henry went shopping or she was taking him to a friend's house, but whatever it was, she wasn't exactly itching to know the details.

She was, however, itching to get up to her room as soon as possible. Grabbing a bottle of vanilla iced coffee from the fridge, she swung herself out and up the stairs. Once in her lair, she locked the door and began to strip herself of boots, leggings, underwear, all the articles that had begun to feel as if they were glued to her skin.

She walked into her bathtub, grabbed the back from inside the faucet and shook out two of the small blue pills, swallowing them as soon as she palmed them, then she turned on the faucet, let it run, cold to fill the tub, placing the bag under the sink. Safe and sound, before stepping into the tub.

As soon as she did, she felt herself relax, she felt the tension that had been inside her that whole day slip away as she felt herself do the same. That's how she stayed, for however long it was until there were three sharp knocks on the door.

Jerking up, "yeah?" She answered, spitting water.

"Emma?" Her mother's voice filled in.

Rubbing her eyes clear, she sat up, "what?" She replied, getting out of the tub, wrapping herself in a towel.

"You okay?" MM asked, trying the knob just as Emma reached for it.

Upon opening the door, she found the light on in her room, her bed made. "What happened?" She asked.

Her mother turned to inspect the area, "oh, I," she turned back, "I didn't know you were here, it was messy. So, I, cleaned, " she sighed.

Emma smiled lazily, hugging her towel harder, "thank you."

MM tilted her head, as she inspected the girl, with make up still dark under her eyes, "you wear eyeliner?"

Rubbing her eyes instinctively, "no, mascara."

"Oh," her mother nodded. "Well," she slapped her thighs, turning.

"Mom-Mary Margret, sorry," Emma stuttered, "sorry."

MM smiled, but tried to conceal it, "yes?"

"Do you think I could stay home tomorrow, I just don't feel well."

MM pursed her lips, nodding, "okay, but just one day."

Emma smiled, "thank you."

"G0odnight." She replied, closing the door.

Emma's smiled faded as she fell into the bed, moving to the edge nearest the door to lock it, then cuddling under the covers, avoiding getting dressed. Just as her phone began to ring.

Picking it up and giving it an answer, assuming it was Lily, "what?" She asked.

"Emma?" Regina asked.

Emma's eyes shot open, "yeah. Sorry, I thought you were someone else."

"Right." Regina paused. "I just wanted to check up, you seemed a bit under the weather, when I, uh," she trailed off. "Anyways, how are you?"

"Fine. I was tired, took a bath."

"I'm glad." Regina replied, "I shouldn't have gotten used to you being here."

Emma felt her brain swell, "sorry."

"It's my fault, I shouldn't have called you, I was feeling sorry for myself."

"I'm glad you did. Call me," Emma blurted the latter.

Regina was silent a minute, "is it awful that I was to see you?" She asked.

Emma closed her eyes as they heated up, "maybe a little."

"I have a confession."

"Shoot."

"I have a roommate, who is in my room."

Emma cringed, "is that right? Guess you shouldn't be missing me so much, then."

Regina chuckled, "yes, I have another woman in my bed," she breathed, "so I sit over her on my window sill, just lusting after her."

"Is that why you called?"

"Emma, please," Regina snapped, "it's Ruby, she's moving in, I have to clean up my room, until then."

"Right." Emma answered.

"Don't be so insecure, I don't cheat."

"I wouldn't know," Emma said slowly, tiredly. "Is that all?"

"No!" Regina replied quickly, "I wanted to talk to you."

"I'm tired, Regina." Emma replied, then the sound of static disconnecting came, and she was gone. The air felt lighter as she closed her eyes and was able to fall asleep in minutes, with only a bit of regret.

In the morning, she wasn't awaken by a bang at the door or the blare of an alarm at 6 am, but instead by the sounds of slamming doors. With a gasp, she shot up and looked about. Blue light was drawing itself on the walls as she studied them, falling back into her comforter.

"Henry!" Her mother shouted from the hallway. "If you aren't out the door in five minutes, so help me," she trailed off, stomping down the stairs.

With a groan, Emma pulled a pillow over her head, wishing away the throbbing in her fingertips, and the fire behind her eyes.

As Ruby busied herself around the kitchen, Regina was on the hunt for more houses to look at. After Emma left, she and the girls looked at two more before they became restless. That was when Ruby called, ranting about how her landlord was kicking her out for smoking inside, though she had told her 'time and time again' not to. Though Ruby claimed it was only once. Within four hours, she was moved in, having paid some college kids to move her stuff into storage.

Just like Regina, Ruby was an early riser, after working the diner on her own for the past couple of years she had to be. Now that the place was picking up more revenue she could afford to give her waiters and waitresses more shifts, allowing herself more time off.

Regina was sitting my the window facing a small wooded area, with a cup of hot cider, Ruby doing dishes from her fiasco of a dinner last night, "you know, I shouldn't have attempted to use an over."

She nodded, "nice of you to think of that after you made your mark on my kitchen, dear."

Ruby laughed, "I know, but what didn't burn turned out pretty well."

"For owning a restaurant you really don't appreciate the important of foil."

Ruby shrugged, "Granny cooked, I waited. Anyways, the girls think I am hilarious."

"Well you do have the same brain capacity."

Ruby threw a wet rag, water flinging off it in it's journey to Regina's forehead. "Bitch."

Regina looked shocked a moment, throwing it back into the sick, "I rest my case."

They both laughed, Regina spilling her plans about house-hunting, Ruby looking excited and asking if she could go to open houses with her 'like old times.' They talked for what seemed like hours until the twins were up, and she was forced to close the windows and open of the fridge, hoping she didn't make quite the mess that her once again roommate had.

 **Sorry it took me so long to update, and it isn't even a very exciting chapter. Cliche, but you wouldn't believe the past couple of months I have had. Glad to be back, thanks for sticking around.**

 **I didn't edit this.**


	22. Chapter 22

There is a small wooded area not too far a walk from her house. It was dark and felt like a place where magic happened. Henry and his friends would dare one another to step foot in, with the notion it was haunted. To Emma, it just had character.

Today, she was alone aside from a cat that had trailed a few yard behind her on the dirt trail out of the neighborhood. Taking sips from her iced tea, that was truer to sugar water than anything, she looked up into the towering branches that hung over her. Pinecones would fall from pines, bringing dead needles down with it. It was a symphony of it's own.

The air bit at her nose, threatening to infiltrate her skull's hooded home, but lacking the strength to take reign. It was midday, the clouds from the recent showers had still refused to subside, but she loved to darkness. In the dark woods the topsoil was still damp and nearly black, letting the green of the moss stand out.

Bird chirped and called to their friends up in the canopy, some daring to swoop down between the branches to maneuver expertly between the trunks of all sizes. Emma watched in admiration as they whizzed past her then back up towards the sky. She wondered what type of birds they were, where they were going, and she thought of Regina. Surely the woman would be able to tell her the species, sex, age, what they had for dinner last Wednesday.

It had been well over a week since she had even spoken to Regina, she had gotten calls and texts, not too many, maybe one per day. She read the texts, but neglected the voicemails. Most of them told her that she and Ruby were going to move in together, were thinking of buying a larger house together, then they were asking how she was, where she was, did she want to go eat.

Today was Sunday, and she hadn't gotten a text yet, usually by 10 she would get one, then by 5 a call. It was 12:30, and while she wasn't answering she still appreciated the notice that she hadn't been given up on. Maybe it was time to call her? Emma thought, but then again, why?

Regina seemed to be doing better without her, she was buying a house, she was working from home now and making more than she had been doing 11 hours a day at the station. The girls were good too, Emma didn't even think they asked about her anymore. If they had, Regina never said anything.

Maybe it was better this way, they both go off in their own directions and find other people. It couldn't be good for them to keep up the forbidden love.

Love, was that what they had been feeling?

Emma sat on a mossy stone, her bum slipping slightly as she allowed her weight down, and she thought of the concept. Of course, she was attached to Regina, she thought of her often, more often that anyone else. Yes, she always wanted to be around her, and yes she wanted the best for her. The only problem being was that she was torn between wanting to be what's best for her, and knowing that she isn't.

When people use the saying 'age is but a number' they are usually speaking in terms of dating within a couple of years, or children being wise beyond their years. In her case, it was more than a couple of years, when she was born Regina was the age she is now.

At first, she could have cared less and she was adamant to turn Regina on to the same feeling. Over the course of the past few months, however, she had been the one who was on a different page. Now, it was Regina wanted to move forward, and Emma being sucked up by doubt and fear.

Now, she didn't know what to do. Maybe just call her, maybe drive into town to see her, or meet her somewhere. She had to do something, because while she was on the fence about committing fully, she didn't want Regina to move on to someone who would give her all that they had to give. How selfish is that, Emma knew that it was indeed, but she couldn't help herself.

With a sign she looked about the woods, looking for something other than tranquil beauty to occupy her mind. Finding nothing, she pulled out her phone and dialed Regina's number, knowing very well that she was making a mistake, but not quite caring.

The line rang, just as she was about to be equally disappointed and relieved, there was a voice.

"This is Regina Mills, leave a message," the recording went, and she was disappointed all over again before hanging up the line, not saying a word.

"That's fine," Emma told herself, "no, that's great." She said, slipping her device back into her pocket before standing up, walking forth deeper into the forested area.

Glaring down at her phone even after it had stopped ringing, she contemplated her decision to decline the call. It had been Emma, who hadn't spoken to her in exactly 8 days, and the last time wasn't an entirely pleasant one either. Today was the day she was going to stop trying to get ahold of her, and let the girl work to talk to her. Now that she had, she decided that she wasn't in the mood.

A little more enraged than glad that she had gotten a call back, she took the high road in not answering and starting another clash over nothing. She was also in the middle of packing, as they had put an offer in on a five bedroom in a suburb just outside of the city. They were pretty sure they would get it, as it had been on the market for a little over six months with no real interest.

So, they both went in about 10% less than asking price and were waiting for a call back. That was tree days ago, the agent said give it a week, so they were giving it a week. Ruby busied herself packing nonessentials, as even if they didn't get this house they would be getting another. It's always best to start early, a packing is always a merciless task.

Regina worked on cleaning up all the rooms for the open house, as she was planning on selling or renting out the condo. She was leaning more towards renting, as the city is expanding and soon enough this will be prime location, making it a better sale in maybe five to ten years.

That was just her thinking into the future, trying to map out her life just as a reference. It was better to know where she was going than to just fling about willy nilly, hoping she gets somewhere without really trying.

That wasn't an easy or ideal way to live. That was how people who lived paycheck to paycheck lived. Not all, of course, but all the ones she knew. Who were also her inspiration to stay on track, and stay in check. So far, she'd done a pretty good job. Life had been especially jarring there for a hot while, now she was cooling off and feeling a bit better.

Though there was still the issue of her romantic affair that was unsettling her stomach and ruffling her feathers. See, she isn't the type of person who likes to play games, or enjoyed being played. Now, she knew where she stood in their relationship, where there was some rough spots up at the front, she had gotten past them and was ready for something. It was Emma, who once ready to be U-haul lesbians, is now refusing to answer her calls or texts. Regina had half a mind to go crashing through her window, but that would raise more questions than it would answer.

Their situation was not ideal. It was getting worse, she knew she was losing something great, but she couldn't give anymore than she already was, so she would wait. It takes two, it takes two.

"Regina!" Ruby called from the door way. Regina jumped and turned.

"F-what?" She asked.

Ruby laughed, lightly scratching her eyelid, "there's some people here from, like, social security."

Regina furrowed her brows and stood, "okay, thanks."

"Yep," Ruby replied and yawned, skulking back to her duties with her lanky self.

In the living room, a man and a woman both dressed in suits were looking about the premises, holding enough papers to make a tree whole again.

"Hi, Regina Mills," Regina said, shaking their hands.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Lydia Gore, this is my assistant Malcolm. We're from child services, and we are here to speak with you in regards to Ava and Eve Prescott."

"Okay, great, we can talk in the dining room." Regina said, rolling her eyes when she turned, not in any mood to sit and converse with these suits. "The girls are taking their nap right now, we had a busy morning."

"Doing what?" Lydia asked, more accusing than Regina felt she needed to be.

Wearing her mask of indifference, she smiled, "we're buying a house."

"Ah, you and your husband?"

"No, I'm not married, my roomate and I went in together."

"Your roommate,"

Regina nodded, "yes, Ruby, the girls love her. They get along swell because Ruby acts more their age than her own."

"Right." Lydia cleared her throat. "So, what are your plans here, Ms. Mills, with the girls?"

Regina nodded, though she wasn't sure. She knew she would likely end up adopting them, but she wasn't ready for that kind of responsibility yet, she wasn't ready to give her all to them like that. Not that she already wasn't, but then it would be legal, official. "Well, I have been fostering them for some time, I was moving towards adoption, I have the papers I just never got the time to fill them out, being so busy," she smiled.

"Yes, you'd be an ideal candidate for adoption, I have done my paperwork and a fair amount of research, when the time comes it'll go quite smoothly."

"I hope so," she said, "is that what this is about?"

"Partly, I am here to hand over their medical records, we had to go back into the system to get them. I know you hadn't asked but it is important that you have theses."

"Agreed," Regina replied.

"The reason that we are here to deliver these in person is because there are some complications with on of the girls, Eve."

Regina's heart skipped, she nodded slowly. "Okay."

"Okay, she had an abscess on her liver when she was 2 that wasn't bothering her then, but it was predicted to grow, and you will have to take her to get it x-rayed, and if it has grown significantly in the past three years she will need it removed."

Regina let go of her breath, glad that it wasn't something like cancer or a heart murmur. "I can do that within the week."

"Good, I know it doesn't seem like anything too big, but you would be surprised how many foster parents would send a child back into the system for something so small."

"I can imagine, thank you for coming all this way to tell me. I appreciate it." Regina replied, and she did.

"We appreciate your cooperation, ma'am, and all you have done for these two. You seem to care for them."

"Yes, I do. I do." Regina said as she stood. "I'm sorry for not asking sooner, it's been a little chaotic around here, but would you like something to drink or maybe a muffin for the road?"

"No, thank you, we should be going." Lydia replied, getting her paper together as she did.

"Uh, can I have a muffin?" Malcolm asked. "Please."

Regina smiled, "I have banana nut, lemon poppy, and blueberry. Not homemade, but bought with love."

He chuckled, grabbing a blueberry. "Thank you."

"Yeah," she let out, clipping the plastic shut. "I'll walk you out."

By the time Emma had tired of walking it was nearly 4, it wasn't dark, but it was certainly darker than it had been, and now it had decided to drizzle. Tightening her hood around her face, she jogged down the path out of the wood. Her run only lasted a moment when she heard branches snapping behind her, she screamed and jumped around to see someone behind her.

"Emma!" Henry screamed. "God, you scared me!"

"What do you mean!" Emma replied, holding her chest. "What are you doing here?" She asked.

He rolled his eyes, "looking for you, uh duh. You've been gone for hours, we were going to go out to eat, mom said as a 'late birthday dinner.'"

Emma nodded, "sorry, didn't mean to be gone so long."

He shrugged, then began talking about how scary the forest was and how he couldn't believe she would hang out there, then came around with how he thought she had been possessed. Emma would laugh, and joke about how she saw shadows and other things, and was gone to investigate. Of course, he believed every word she said.

"You know I'm joking right?" She asked as they walked up the drive.

"Emma!" Her mother called, just an hour after she had walked through the door. The girl had said her hellos to her mom and James, as David had not been home yet, then went up to shower. That's where she shut down, staring at the tile wall as drops fell down in a shimmering hurry.

When she heard her name, she sighed, knowing that it was time to get out and get dressed and act normal. If she were being honest she needed a pill or something to get through this night. It never was far from her mind, but she was trying to occupy herself with walking or reading, anything.

Dressing herself to think about something else, she put on a pair of black leggings and a red velvet long sleeved shirt, slipping into a pair of TOMs she stole from Lily, braiding her hair on the way downstairs.

"Why don't you look snazzy." David said as she reached the landing, everyone already ready and waiting.

Emma smiled, "thanks."

Mary Margret frowned, then sighed with a smile, "let's get going then, Emma, you want to drive?" She asked.

The girl nodded, "key me."

Only getting the slightest bit lost, to the fault of Henry for putting the wrong address in the GPS, they made it to the restaurant in five pieces. It was a sushi place, none of them could pronounce the name, but they sure tried.

They sat at a round table with Emma next to Henry and James, her parents facing her more directly. They sat, she tried to control her fidgeting, but it was nearly impossible. Her leg shook rapidly underneath the table, her eyes darted about the place.

Mary Margret opened her mouth to ask if she was alright, but just then a young waitress walked up with a notepad asking about, "drinks?"

Everyone ordered water except Henry and David who opted for Cola. Emma had relaxed a bit with someone else there to keep the attention off of her. It was, after all, a dinner in her honor. Honor was a loose way of saying it. From her lap, she played with her phone, wanting so badly to text Regina or even Lily, anyone.

Her family had started talking about going up to their cabin in the mountains before the snow was too heavy. Henry went on to yammer excitedly to her about how much fun it was to play hide and go seek in the snow, and make snow men. Emma nodded and said it sounded great.

"Maybe you could even bring Lily, I know she just stays home all day."

Emma nodded, "yeah. Yeah, she doesn't do much." She sighed uncomfortably.

"Poor girl, she has no discipline." Mary Margret shook her head.

Emma shrugged, "she is aware of her choices."

"Mm." Her mother replied. "Anyways, have you talked to Regina?"

Emma's heart sunk, "no. Why?" She asked defensively.

Mary Margret looked taken aback, "to check on the girls, see if she needs help, I suppose." She took a sip of hr water.

"Oh," Emma relaxed. "No, her friend is moving in with her, they're going to buy a house or something."

"Good for her, that's great."

Emma shrugged, "I guess." She replied, as the girl came back to take their orders, then she would have the distraction of food to keep her busy, more importantly her family.

It was so odd now, it felt as though she was a stranger to them. They had warmed to her so quickly and she had found herself loving them back, but as time went by she started to feel a growing distance. Maybe it was her, or maybe they were figuring out she wasn't the daughter that they wanted or could love, that she was bad.

It was too late now for them to take back their choice to adopt her, but she couldn't live there if she was not wanted. No, that wouldn't work. Emma began to feel panic and worry swell up in her stomach.

"Emma," she heard, and jerked her eyes to her left to meet Henry's, "do you want to share a dessert?"

After the social workers had left, she planted her face in the couch and didn't move for a good two hours. In that odd stage in the middle of awake and asleep, she didn't have anything or anyone but herself to worry about. It was nice, serene, she wished that things always felt that way. However, things aren't that way, and after her peaceful two hours she was pulled back into reality by the sounds of Ruby trying to fix a meal for the girls.

For someone who owns and runs a diner, she is a mess in the kitchen. As she did say, Granny did all the kitchen and she did all the running about, but it was proposterous that she couldn't even make a simple grilled cheese without burning the tortilla.

"Ruby!" Ava squealed, "this is gwoss!"

Eve just smiled, continuing to eat hers. Eve wasn't a picky eater, not like Ava. Ava would only eat pickles if they were cold, she would only like juice if it was warm, and many many other things that Regina had to store in her memory. Eve would eat whatever, as long as it wasn't sour.

"Look, I'm trying here," Ruby replied, moving the pan to the counter, dropping the sandwich that it held. "F..ff..oop." She stuttered.

"What's this mess?" Regina asked.

Ruby looked up, "oh thank god." She skid over to hug Regina, "don't ever leave me again."

Regina laughed, "okay."

"Momma G!" Eve jumped over, trying to leap into her arms. "Ruby showed us how to make popsicles out of juice!"

"Did she?" Regina asked, propping Eve onto her side. "Where are they now?"

"In the freezer! We put them outside but it fell down."

"Well, that's exciting." Regina raised a brow at Ruby, who scrubbed the charred pan. "Seems as though Aunty Ruby can't even pour juice right."

"Yes she can!" Ava protested, she was more taken to Ruby than Eve, probably as they shared the same outgoing nature. "Her popsicles were beautiful."

"Yeah. Believe that." Ruby replied.

Regina laughed once more before putting Eve down and going to the fridge for a bottle of water. She opened it and looked upon her little family. In such a short amount of time so much had changed, but despite her life being ripped apart, it seemed to be coming together better than before. It felt almost complete, almost.


	23. Chapter 23

**I am so grateful for all of my readers, you are so kind, thank you for 200+ followers, it really means the world to me. Thanks especially to** glastail24 **for making me laugh and loving my story and characters like I do!**

Emma's addiction continued, she denied to herself that she even had a problem, telling herself it was all for fun. Lily came around more often, they would drive off or walk into the 'haunted' woods, drink, take a couple of pills, smoke a bit, and just relax.

"I'm really sad." Emma said one moment.

"Why?" Lily asked, eyes closed as little sprinkles of rain began to decorate her eyelashes.

Emma sighed, feeling the that was all that fell between the trees. "Regina." She said, Lily sighed. "What?"

"Get over her, she's a prude."

Emma didn't take the comment to heart, she just shook her head, "you don't get it."

"Get what?" Lily said slowly.

Emma smiled, "she's my soulmate, man." She told as images of her and Regina jumping off the ledge into the water that afternoon not too long ago appeared in her mind. It was in that moment that Emma knew Regina was special, because she hadn't hesitated to trust her with her life. Emma thought, and she would be willing to take that risk forever.

"Ruby!" Regina shouted, picking up panties with dirty pads on them up from the bathroom floor, "this is fucking disgusting!" She said, throwing them into the room Ruby had occupied and onto the bed, where the woman slept. Regina slammed the door, hearing Ruby shout something obscene back, followed by an apology. No matter how much Regina loved having Ruby around, she would not tolerate filth.

It had been five days since they had put in a deposit on the house and she was getting more and more anxious as the days went on. In fact, she had been so preoccupied in the past three days that she had only thought of Emma twice. It was a new record and she planned to stick to it. She figured that it may be time to call the girl.

Regina was never one to bitch and cry, and she'd spent so much time on Emma that she wasn't ready to let her go. It was a complicated relationship that was testing her morals as well as giving her a new view of what love really is. She couldn't let that go, could she?

Regina picked up her phone and dialed a number she had seen too many times not to know by heart. "I'll be back," she stated, slipping on a pair of shoes by the door and making her way to the elevator.

The phone began to ring, and it did for so long she thought that she wasn't going to pick up. What a waste of time on her part.

"Hell-lo," Emma said, her words dragging on as she laughed. "Sh, sh, shut up." She whispered to someone beside her, probably Lily.

Regina sighed, now regretting her decision, she cleared her throat, "is this a bad time?" She asked.

Emma gasped, "oh my goo-ness, I was just talking about you, literally," she coughed, "literally three seconds ago."

"Timing is everything."

"Ah, totally." Emma said in a dreamy tone. "So, what's up?"

Regina inhaled, "just been busy, I guess. Are you okay?"

"Bu-sy b-b, ha." Emma said. "Yeah, I'm okay, I just miss you a lot. I'm sorry that I was mean and all, I'm just bad at being a person, Regina."

"I miss you, too." Regina said, just as the elevator doors opened to the garage. "Are you outside?"

Emma laughed, "yes, I'm under this tree, and it's raining a little bit. I feel like my nose is going to fall off, and I can't stop smiling."

Regina unlocked her car, and swung herself into the driver's seat. "Why is that?"

"Cold." Emma said, "I like it, a little maybe. I feel," she sighed.

There was a feeling of dread in her stomach, rising up like bile in her throat, "you feel what?"

Emma was quite a moment. "I don't know," she said softly.

"Me either." Regina said, the lights around her finally fading to black.

"Will you come get me? I don't want to be here anymore." Emma said, her voice confused.

Regina nodded, though she couldn't see her, "yeah, I can."

"I'm in the little forest, it's across from the field thing behind the school."

"Okay." Regina said, not moving. "I'll be there soon."

"Don't hang up though." Emma said, hastily.

Regina started her car, not saying a word, and started to drive.

Emma lay on the ground, growing colder as Lily sang a song with no words, up in the trees. Emma hummed along to the tune, listening to the sound of Regina's radio playing softly, behind the sound of static.

Looking beside her, she saw the bottle of gin that was just nearly empty, and without thinking about it, downed it in about 10 seconds. "Bleh, mm." She moaned, falling back onto the grass. "Ow."

Though it was just the booze, she began to feel warmer, only then noticing how extremely cold she was, and she stupidly thought that more booze was the answer. Emma reached for the second bottle, full of rum, and began to swig it, sitting up on her elbows, waiting.

She closed her eyes, as she began to feel a little lost, a little whirly, she dropped the bottle, and jerked awake, "no," she moaned. Emma picked it up and tried to stand up, falling once then twice, before using the tree to steady her.

"Holy moly, are you okay?" Lily asked.

"No, fuck, fuck," Emma repeated, "fuck I'm so dumb." She said and cried for ten seconds.

"Ah, what do you mean." Lily asked, watching Emma pick up her phone, it had been running for ten minutes.

Emma pressed mute, "I'm waiting."

"Cryptic." Lily swooned. "Tell me more."

"I can not, ne-" she trailed off, then laughed, "no."

"Did you fucking drink all the gin?" Lily laughed.

Emma leaned over, "only half."

"Fuck," Lily replied.

"Regina is coming."

"Mm, your baby-mama." Lily replied. "Haaa,"

"Hm." Emma replied, sitting back down, "tha's better. I'm scared now."

"Why though, does she not, like, accept you?"

"She thinks I could be better, or something-g. She isn't going to be proud that I show up like this."

"Duh, dumbass then why'd you call her?"

Emma felt her stomach lurch, "don't feel safe here."

Lily rolled her eyes, practically palling out of the tree, "pussy." She said, picking up the rum and taking too long a drink, then placing it in her bag. "Let's go."

"Waiting." Emma replied.

"I'll take you to the road."

"Wait." Emma replied. "I hung up." Emma replied.

"So,"

Emma picked up the phone and redialed Regina's number.

"I'm driving." she said when she answered, her voice muffled.

"I know,"

"What happened?" She asked.

Emma shook her head, and swallowed a lump in her throat. "I needed to tell you that we are going to meet by the road, it's near the wood fence." Emma looked at Lily, who nodded.

Regina passed a white prius, going way too slow to be on a highway, "okay,"

"Drive safe." Emma replied, as Lily began to walk forward, swinging her bag over her shoulder. "Wait!" Emma replied, doing her best not to fall over.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma sat agains the fence with her chin on her knees. Lily had walked home by herself, telling Emma she would be fine. Emma hadn't been fine all day, not since she woke up this morning and her anxiety only grew as she sat alone in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, though she had been here a thousand times. Though today, it was a new land. Emma scrunched her nose and dug it between her knees, hoping it wouldn't fall off.

Regina pulled up near the fence, and only recognized bright blonde hair under a burgundy wool hat. She turned the engine off and stepped out of the car, walking quickly until she was in front of the girl.

"Emma." She said.

Emma looked up, "yay." She said, trying to stand up, but failing. "Sorry."

Regina looked away, back at her car, before extending her hand out, "come on, you're fine." She said. Groaning, Emma walked heavily as she stood, Regina jerked her arm, "act right."

"Hey!" Emma replied, jerking her arm away and almost falling face first into the sidewalk. "Woah," she laughed.

Regina stopped and pushed her hair back out of her face, looking around to be sure no one could see the girl's drunken episode. "Emma, please, come on." She reached her hand out, and Emma ignored it.

"I'm fine, god," she said, truly believing it, but it was clear from the outside that she was not. "Where are we going?"

Regina, tired of this, grabbed her by her jacket and dragged her to the car, placing her in the front seat and making sure all of her was inside the door before slamming it shut. Emma's head fell against the cool tinted glass.

"Ooh," Emma said, opening the glove compartment, sloppily pulling the papers out and reading them.

Opening the car door, Regina saw her and yanked the pages away, violently shoving them back into the box before closing it. "Don't touch."

"Bossy." Emma replied, falling back into her seat, hitting her head on the rest a few times. "Why aren't we moving." She stated. Regina ignored her, starting the engine.

They drove, Regina silent as Emma said nonsensical things. "I'm hungry." She said, looking over at Regina, "why would you get me if you just ignore me?" She asked. "Answer me," she sung, reaching out and pinching the woman's cheek. "Boop."

"Don't mess with me." Regina replied, shrugging her off, "I'm thinking."

"Ooh, about what?" Emma asked, excited.

Regina ran her tongue over her teeth, "things."

"Cryptic." Emma replied in awe.

Regina laughed, changing lanes as she looked over her shoulder, "yeah."

"You're a good driver." Emma said.

"I hope."

" _Hope, is the only thing stronger than fear,"_ Emma quoted in a deep voice, chuckling.

Regina smiled as she drove, trying to keep up with the fluctuating speeds of the Nissan ahead of her, must be a kid.

In about thirty minutes, including a detour to view the other side of the library that looked 'enchanting,' they were parked in the garage under Regina's building. "Ready?" She asked.

Emma moved to open the door, "sorta." She said.

"Do you feel better? Do you need help?" Regina asked.

"Yeah, I need help." Emma admitted.

Nodding, Regina went to link arms with her, "we're off,"

"To see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz." Emma sang.

Ruby chased Eve around the island in the kitchen, holding her chest as she tried to run, "this is very rude!" She exclaimed. Eve laughed, clutching the lacy bra closer to her as she sped along. This had been Ruby's life for the past ten minutes, and she was getting tired, as in shape as she may have looked, this was more cardio than she had done in a year.

Down the hall, Ava was painting her nails and the tile. She hummed along to her own beat as she flayed the brush this way and that. The door to the bedroom across the hall, belonging to Ruby, opened and she looked up to see a man she didn't know. Ava screamed and slammed the door shut.

Ruby stopped chasing Eve, but ran down the hall and into the man, "fuck!" She said, "what happened?"

He shrugged, "all I did was open the door."

He looked at Ruby as she went to knock on the door, "Ava, what happened?" She asked, turning to look at the man, "bye, dude." She said.

Eve glared at him on his way out, sticking her tongue out at him when he looked back before shutting the door lightly.

"Ava, come on, it's just me." Ruby said lightly, "open the door."

"Eve." Ava demanded. Eve skipped forward and tried to open the door.

"It's locked," she said just as the front door opened, and Ruby groaned.

"Did you forget something?" She asked impatiently, rushing down the hall.

Regina stood with a giggling Emma in the doorway, "no, did you?" Emma asked.

"Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ruby admitted, looking back down the hall, "the kid locked herself in the bathroom." She told.

"What?" Regina asked, "is she okay?"

"I think my," she hesitated, "friend, man, may have scared her." Ruby told, then looked to Emma, "trade?"

Regina nodded and Ruby went to take Emma's hand, "so what was it?" She asked.

"Where?" Emma replied.

"What'd you do? Pills? Synthetics? Or just drink?"

"Everything?" Emma replied.

Ruby sniffed her hair, "nah, I've seen everything, this is not it."

Emma laughed, "nice." She let Ruby lead her into her room, and sit her on the bed.

"You look like you could use a nap, some water, and seven pounds."

"Did you just call me fat?" Emma asked.

Ruby chuckled, "no, little girl, you need to gain some weight." She told, pulling the covers back, "luckily you're to wasted to care that my sheets are dirty."

Regina managed to coax Ava out of the bathroom, only to see that she had made a complete mess of the space, but she picked her battles wisely and just told her that nail polish was not meant to be used alone, and she should have asked for help. Ava understood and went to the living room with Eve to play horses.

Ruby closed the door to her room and raised an eyebrow to Regina, "so," she began.

Regina shook her head, "it's been a day."

Laughing in a breath, Ruby agreed, "for blondie there, too."

"Yeah," Regina sighed, "is she alright?"

Nodding, Ruby answered, "she's just got to sleep it off. Then we hope that the hangover convinces her never to do it again."

"I don't know what to do, she keeps getting worse."

"Tell her parents, why is this your problem?"

"I can't do that."

Ruby pulled up her leg to scratch her knee, "why?"

Regina hesitated, she could tell Ruby was prying, and she was trying to give her a reason not to. "Why are you asking so many questions?" Not her best.

Ruby stepped back onto her foot, "I'm not trying to accuse you of anything Regina, and you can always talk to me," she looked behind her to make sure the coast was clear, "but kids who get fucked up like that have problems. What are you going to do to solve them?"

Regina thought, "I really care about her. I can help her, it's only been a couple of months. I don't know."

"It only takes the one time." Ruby shrugged.

"I know." Regina said.


	24. Chapter 24

**December 31**

Regina threw a box down the stairs just as Ruby closed the doors, waving the movers off. "Ugh." She groaned loudly, plopping down to sit on the landing.

Ruby looked up and quirked a brow at her, "dramatic much?" She asked.

"I have never done so much manual labor in my life," Regina sighed, wiping her nose on the sleeve of the oversized hoodie that Emma had left the last time she stayed over.

"You moved three boxes!" Ruby countered.

"They were heavy!"

Chuckling, Ruby moved down the hall, twirling as she embraced the feeling of being home. "We're like U-haul lesbians!" She tossed up to Regina.

"You wish." Regina replied, throwing herself as well down the stairs. She found Ruby sitting on the bar, glaring down at all the kitchenware she knew would have to be unpacked tonight.

"You should have Emma come over," she said, Regina shook her head, "why? She didn't help us pack or anything, and she was with us almost everyday."

Regina bit her lip, "she's still upset with me."

Ruby nodded in understanding, "yeah I can see it, but hey," she pointed, "it's not your fault."

Regina gave her a small smile, before letting out a breath, "shall we?" She asked.

Ruby groaned as she all but fell off the counter, sliding towards the boxes that needed to be unpacked right just then. "Can't we just do it tomorrow?"

Regina shook her head, "now what happened to all that spunk?"

"No," Ruby whined. Regina just laughed and handed her a box cutter, telling her to get to work.

Emma sat on her window sill, her sock encased feet dragging across the rooftop. She inhaled the cold air, feeling as though icicles were forming on the little hairs that decorated her nose. She shook her head and shivered, reaching back to grab her phone from the chair behind her. Unlocking it, she opened the messege thread from Lily, texting the girl for the third tim ein an hour, asking her where she was, before she decided to just call her.

The line rang and it seemed as if her friend just was not going to pick up, but finally she did, "hello?"

Emma sniveled, "where are you?" She asked, irritated.

"At my house, why?"

Emma closed her eyes and took a breath, "I thought we were going out."

Lily hesitated, "oh shit, yeah." She replied, then let out a breathless laugh, "did you really want to, though?"

"I kind of did, or else I wouldn't be sitting her fucking waiting on you." Emma countered.

"Sorry dude, you want to come over?"

Shrugging, "maybe."

"'Kay, well the door's open if you do."

"Bye." Emma stated, not waiting for a reply as she hung up, straying a moment in the cold before flinging herself back into the chair, slamming the window shut.

Sighing, she decided to go downstairs to see what the plans were for the rest of her family. As she opened the door she heard Henry, angrily yelling something at the game her was playing. Emma made her way to his door and leaned on the threshold.

"What's up?" She asked, and he jumped a little, leaning into the controller as if it would move the character.

"Playing this, you?" He replied, uninterested.

"Just bored," she sighed, "you want to hang out or something?"

He didn't reply a moment, "I mean you can sit in here if you want, but I don't know if you're interested in the game."

She moved to sit on his bed, behind him on the pillow chair he sat on, "can I play?" She asked.

"When I'm done with this." He replied, she listened to the sounds of gunfire and groans from the army of zombies that he was attempting to shoot, and dodge. "Might be a while." He added, and she finally got the idea that he wasn't interested in her company tonight.

"Later, kid." She answered, hopping off the bed and out of the room. Downstairs, she could hear David practically screaming about something that had happened on the job today, she had missed the majority of the conversation, but it was something about 'Brooks, the idiot, didn't even turn on his siren and he got a speeding ticket, can you believe that?'

Emma entered the kitchen to her mother, kicking the bouncer that James was in across the tile as he giggled, "hey." Emma greeted.

Mary Margret turned are, "hey, you," she smiled, "what's going on?"

Emma shrugged, sitting on the floor as James scooted towards her, "just bored." She answered.

"I'm sorry," her mother replied, "why don't you go over to Lily's? I'll drive you over."

Emma shrugged again, "maybe, she was supposed to come get me and we were going to go somewhere, but it didn't happen."

"Oh, you didn't tell me." Mary Margret answered, just a little bit irritated with Emma's tendency to make plans without running them by her.

Emma let James bend her finger as she made little faces at him, "I wasn't sure if I was going to go, anyways."

Mary Margret nodded, "it's okay." She wiped her forehead. "I've been meaning to ask you, did Ruby and Regina get all moved in?"

Emma scoffed, "how should I know?"

Mary Margret reeled back, "well, I don't know, I thought you and Regina talked."

Emma veered her attention to James, "not anymore."

"Can I ask why not?" Her mother asked.

Emma shrugged, "she's just not the person I thought she was."

The day had gone by rather quickly, even quicker after they had finally unboxed the 20 year old scotch that Regina had back away in one of the boxes, incentive for them to unpack and celebrate their new home. Around 9 the kitchen was unpacked and put together to both of their likings, with minimal arguments, and Ruby was on the drunker side of tipsy.

"This is great, dude," she told as they headed up to the bedrooms, theirs on opposite sides of the hall. "I'm so freaking stoked to get wifi, it's going to be so boring tonight."

"Mm, you should have invited someone over to entertain you, it seems to get you through the day."

"Did you just freaking slut shame me?" Ruby gawked.

Regina mocked guilt, "do you really think that I of all people would ever?"

Ruby turned away and went into her room, "guess you're going into the new year alone."

"How dare you! I thought you were the one!" Regina yelled across the hall. "We were going to get married, you were my first!"

Ruby cackled, "so fucking dramatic."

"Don't generalize me!" Regina replied, glaring at Ruby before falling into a fit of laughter "Come, come here, come," Regina beckoned.

Ruby sidestepped hesitantly as Regina closed her eyes and opened her arms, "what is happening?" Ruby asked, confused, "is, is Regina Mills _hugging_ me?"

"Hug." Regina said, pulling her in, "thank you, for being my friend, and standing by me, and understanding."

"She's dying!" Ruby screamed, Regina laughed.

"Stop! Let me be nice, I am trying to appreciate you, you fuck."

Ruby finally hugged her back, "I love you, ooh, I love you, I do," Ruby sang.

Regina laughed as she let her go, "okay, get off me, I don't like to be touched."

"The reversion process is instantaneous."

"I mean it, though." Regina replied, looking her in the eyes.

"I know, don't touch me," Ruby replied, turning dramatically and sliding down the stairs, "let's get drunk!" She screeched from the kitchen.

She retired to the movie room, watching a low budget horror movie that brought her little more joy than staring at the ceiling. The actors were screaming, but telling everyone to be quite, she just stared lifelessly at the screen.

"Hey," David's voice flooded in as he knocked on the wall, "what's going on?"

Emma sat up, pausing the movie, turning to him, "nothing." She said.

"Good movie?" He asked, gesturing towards the screen.

She laughed, but it held no humor, "no."

He nodded, moving to sit on the chair adjacent to the futon she lounged on. "I need you to answer me one question," he began. Emma felt her stomach drop, but she nodded, he sighed. "You don't blame Regina," he raised his eyebrows, "for what happened with the girls do you?"

Emma looked down, to her nails, pressing them against each other, and she shrugged.

David shook his head, "it was nothing she did, Emma, it was just how things work sometimes." Emma shrugged, again, "I need you to listen, Emma." He demanded.

Emma sighed, "they had a good life with her, and Ruby."

"That doesn't mean that they won't go have a good life with their real family." He replied.

"They gave them up!" Emma retorted, "what's stopping them from doing it again?" She asked, feeling the tears that she had been holding back since she first found out the the twins would be going home to their mother and grandmother.

David bit his tongue, "we have to trust them to do what is in their best interest, and to love them like you did, and like Regina did."

"What if they don't? They weren't there, they don't know what they've been through, what if they don't want to deal with their problems?"

"Emma, the girls are fine, they're happy, and healthy, and they're going to have good lives, we have to believe that, and we can't blame Regina for them going away."

"She didn't even try." Emma replied, wiping the underside of her eye. "She just let them go."

"That's all she could have done, honey." David told.

Emma looked away, untangling herself from the blanket, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." She stated, walking out of the room and up the stairs.

David watched her leave, reaching for the remote, he turned the projector off as Mary Margret leaned in, "I take it didn't go well?"

He shook his head, "not great." He stood as she moved towards him.

"She just needs time," she told, pulling him into her, running her nails up and down his back. "At least you tried." She ended with a chuckle.

He smiled, "I guess."

She sighed, pulling back, "now, how about we go upstairs, and take a bath," she suggested and he grinned, "i just bought some lavender scented bath salts."

"Sounds dangerous," he replied.

His wife laughed, pushing him away from her as she moved into the living room.

Regina sat on the dark floor in her living room with her glass of wine, listening to the soft sound of the wind whistling through the side yard. The low light of the moon dripped in through the open shutters, illuminating the pattern in the carpet. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, allowing her mind to empty itself of all thoughts and just be.

Allowing herself to sway and her mind to swim, she felt content with herself for the first time that day. Yes, she was just a bit drunk, and yes she still had much to do tomorrow and the next day, and days and months after that, but for this one moment she didn't have to think about that, because all there was in this moment was stillness.

"You fucking cock!" Ruby shouted from upstairs, then there was a loud noise, then another. Regina jumped and turned around to see another box tumbling down the stairs. The silence was nice while it lasted. "Regina, are you awake?"

Regina cleared her throat, "yes, dear."

Ruby stomped down the steps, "I'm so freaking mad, dude, so I take a power nap really quick, and I fucking wake up at 12:03," she spazzed out a moment, pretending to throw her phone across the room, "12:03! I haven't missed a countdown since I was old enough to count down from 10! I'm pissed." She stated.

Regina just stared up at her in confusion, as she hadn't even known it was so late, she was still thinking it was 10 or so. "I can see you're very upset."

Ruby laughed, "I guess!"

"10, 9," Regina began, and Ruby smiled, "8,7," they went on counting together, "6,5,4,3,2,1. Happy New Year!" They both yelled, Ruby cackling with joy once they finished, Regina grinning up at her roomate, reaching her hand up.

"Help me up," she asked, and Ruby pulled her up, she groaned, "I'm old."

"Eh," Ruby tossed, "kind of." She stated.

Regina smiled, moving past her, turning off the lights downstairs, "goodnight."

"Wait! I'm scared of the dark!" Ruby replied, running after her before she could turn off the foyer light.

After David had come in and all but forced her out of the movie room, she went and sat in her bathroom for an hour or so, turning the sink on and off as if she had never seen anything as interesting. She knew it was a good thing that she hadn't gone to Lily's or anywhere really, she had gone nearly two months without a pill, or a drink, or anything. Something that had not yet occured to her was something to be proud of, that she was so willing to just throw away.

She fell back and into the pile of dirty clothes, that always had a gross dampness to them, and pulled out her phone. She had three missed calls from Lily and four text messages. She opened them, all but one asking where she was, the other saying that she hadn't meant to call except the once. Emma sent her a message saying she was staying in, and happy New Year. Sighing, she tossed her phone aside, listening to the sound of it falling onto the floor, and she rolled the tin in her palm,closed her eyes.

The house was silent, Henry had crashed out around midnight, her parents had retired to their room at half past one. The only sound she heard came from outside, where the wind was blowing, growing fiercer by the hour. Everything around her began to grow dark around the edges, while her eyes were still open, she couldn't see a thing. Emma was calm, resigned to the grimness of her first relapse.

Regina woke with a start, her body reacting before her mind as she ran to the bathroom, not making it to the toilet, and vomiting into the open tub. Retching for a moment longer than she felt she needed to, she pulled her hair up before securing it with a tie. After she was positive she had finished for the time being she tried the knob to turn the water on, and tried it, turning it all the way that it would go before smacking the wall.

"Great." She said, turning and making her way down the hall, trying the sink in the hall bathroom, nothing.

Then, she went to Ruby's room, without knocking she found her sitting on the floor, painting her toenails, the woman looked up, "we have no water." She stated.

Regina fell onto the floor, "I puked." She admitted.

Ruby laughed, her attention on her feet until she painted the last nail. "Dude, I feel so fucking awful," she told, twisting the cap and rubbing her eyes.

Nodding in agreement, Regina leaned back into the wall. Then she took a deep breath, "I guess I should call the water company."

"Think they're going to be open?" Ruby asked.

Regina hesitated, eyes closed, "fuck."

"What do we do?" Ruby asked.

Shrugging, Regina pushed a hair behind her ears, tightening her ponytail. "I guess we try to unpack, I was going to go, uh," she scratched under her nose, "uh, to see if I could find any couches on sale."

Ruby clicked her tongue, "right on."

Regina nodded, "wanna just come?" She asked.

"Eh," Ruby began, "not really, I have stuff to do here."

"Alright," Regina replied, "I'm just going to go now, seeing as I don't have the option to shower."

"Later."

"Mhm." Regina replied, closing the door and heading down the stairs, grabbing her keys and a refillable coffee cup from the kitchen.

She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the bitter cold she was getting ready to face. The second the door was open she was hit was a wave of bitter cold, immediately waking her up, leaving no room for the weak hangover that she thought was going to ruin her day. She was somewhere caught in between grateful and terrified of the cold that the universe seemed to insist upon that day.

Running to her car, parked on the sidewalk, she opened the trunk first, pulling out her winter coat, a scarf, and a beanie from within it before slamming it shut and rushing to the slight warmth of her car.

"My lord." She said, shutting the door to block out the cold. Pulling her hair down, and brushing it down with her fingers she pulled on the black beanie before starting the engine. Off to the wonderful word of outlet stores. She couldn't even remember the last time she went furniture shopping, her condo had been decorated for her, as she had bought it mostly furnished, aside from rugs, most decorations, a mattresses.

While she was totally out of her zone, not to mention dirty, she was ready for the adventure of couch choosing. It was an odd amount of pressure that she felt, as she would be choosing the main decorative point in their collective living area all alone. The realization hit her as she was at a red light, the first car behind the bar.

Sitting there, she realized that she needed coffee and gum if she were going to be seen anywhere in public. Making a U-turn, she headed back to a gas station, because she always thought gas stations had the best coffee.

Regina slammed her door, bracing herself against the wind before she was forced to open the door. The fluorescent lights caused her to twitch involuntary as she headed back to where the pots of fresh coffee were waiting perfectly on a Lazy Susan. She poured herself a cup, opting out of the odd flavors, going for a classic roast, and began her search for soy milk, which they never had.

Emma woke to a pressure on her bed and an unbearable chill that forced her to pull her covers over her head.

"The power's out." Henry's voice flooded in from a few feet away.

Emma sat up too quickly, and looked through him behind tired eyes, "what?" She asked, pushing her hair out of her face.

"The power's out." He restated.

Emma nodded, "okay?" When Henry didn't move, she sat up straighter, "why are you in here then?"

He shrugged, "even when you're sleeping, you're still more fun than James and Mom."

Emma laughed. "Is she cooking?" She asked, a burning smell reaching her nose.

Henry chuckled, "she's trying!" He told, "the stove still works if you light it with a match."

"Neat." She agreed.

"Do you want to drive me to the store?" He asked.

She shook her head, "not really."

"But I saved all my Christmas money to get the game that _just_ went on sale." He argued.

"Okay, but that doesn't mean I could even go if I wanted to."

"You suck." He exhaled and hopped off the bed. "Come with me."

Emma stood, not once stopping to ask herself why she was following a ten year old without question. Her mind felt fuzzy still, and she was trying not to think about what she had accidentally done. She felt rage bubble up between her eyes as she wished that she could go back and take back the mistake she had made last night. For the past two months she had been telling herself over and over again to throw the tin out, she knew she could, but she thought that having it and not opening it made her stronger. It never occurred to her then, that it only took one moment of weakness, and one opportunity, to throw all of her hard work out of the window.

Now, she didn't have anyone to tell about it. Her parents would be too angry, and never let her leave, Henry was too young and he wouldn't understand, also, the information would slip through him too easily. Lily, she didn't think that drugs were a problem, she'd tell Emma to stop being a pussy, or to stop bitching. Lily would give her all around bad advice, making her feel foolish and burdening. Then there was Regina.

Regina, who she could trust and tell anything to, but who changed. Emma couldn't wrap her head around the fact that Regina could have given the girls up, she thought that she loved them, and that they were going to get the forever home that she hadn't had until now with Regina. The woman hadn't even fought for them. How could she do that? It angered Emma, and it made no sense to her, she thought that Regina was more than that, no matter how hard David tried to convice her otherwise, she wasn't sure she could trust her again. However, losing Regina meant everything to her, she needed her, and she didn't know what to do without her.

Emma sat down on the couch, curling herself up in a blanket and staring out at the snow covered yard with blank eyes.

"Emma?" She heard, yanking her out of her stupor.

"Yes!" She answered.

Mary Marget smiled, "I asked if you wanted pancakes," she stood up straighter, "they're a little burnt, but edible."

Emma shook her head, "I'm fine, thanks."

MM pursed her lips, "I'd really like you to eat something."

Emma squinted at her, "why?"

The woman paused, calculating in her mind a moment the correct way to go about what she was going to say, "I'm just worried that you're getting a bit thin."

Emma shook her head, "not even." She poked at her stomach.

"Just one, please."Her mother replied.

Emma groaned, taking the blanket with her as she made her way to the table. "If you insist." She stated.

"Thank you." Mary Margret replied, her smile fading as she watched her daughter sit. She wasn't blind to Emma's inner conflict, it was clear that for the majority of th etime she had came home, there was something there eating away at her, unrelated from her past. She knew, of course she did, but she wasn't sure she was ready yet to ask.


	25. Chapter 25

**I totally agree with my guest that my story is 100% character driven, as I have no sense of plot or sequence! As always, all the love.**

Emma sat in the truck, waiting for her mother so she could drive her to the power company. She tapped the wheel impatiently as she watched Henry struggle to tie his shoes. The chill in the air began to drive her off the edge, but the window was broken, and the heat barely worked, so she was in for an interesting ride. If only MM would let her drive the station wagon, no one would be cold, and the world would be good. However, she was, as her mother put it 'not ready', but what she might as well have said was 'I don't trust you with my car that I have had for way too long and kept in way too good of condition.' Emma wasn't upset about it on most days, but she was feeling particularly on edge today.

After two months of staying too busy to have time to dig out that little tin, she was feeling like she could finally do it. It wasn't that she thought she had a problem, it was that everyone around her made her feel like she did. So, she took a few pills, smoked a couple of bowls, or drank a couple of beers a few times, that didn't mean that she couldn't stop? It was, to her, something to enhance the joy of living, as Lily would say, and she would have to agree. Emma could and did stop, and it was fine. If it was so fine, she thought, then why did she feel so guilty?

Emma closed her eyes and filled her lungs with the thin, cold air, just as Henry opened the cab and slid inside. "I think my fingers are going to fall off." He said, shivering.

Emma let out a shaky breath, "oh, yeah?" He nodded. "If you save 'em, they might be able to put them back on." She replied.

He laughed, "I doubt they'd work the same."

"Yeah, but at least you'd still have them, maybe even some cool scars."

Henry shook his head, "not worth it."

"Guess not."

"Is the heat even on?" He asked, shoving his hands into the vents.

Emma nodded, "it's always cold in here."

"I'm going to go get another coat." He said, opening the door, "you want one?" He asked.

Emma shook her head, "I'm fine." He nodded and slammed the door, practically sprinting into the house just as her mother slipped out the door.

"Henry!" MM yelled, her tone muffled by the glass. "Slow down!" Emma chuckled to herself as she watched the woman shuffle over to the door, motioning for Emma to roll it down.

"It doesn't work!" Emma replied as MM repeatedly rapped on the glass.

"For Heavens," she replied, yanking the door open, "I need you to go pick up Lily, I need her to watch James."

Emma squinted, "Lily? You can't find anyone else?"

MM sighed, "don't say that, please, I know, but my usual kids are out of town, or busy."

Raising a brow, Emma buckled her seat belt, "okay, I'll be back, then."

"Be safe, okay?"

Emma nodded, her foot on the brake as she waited for her mother to shut the door. She shifted the gear, looking over her shoulder and in her mirrors before backing out of the garage and into the Winter Wonderland that awaited her outside. MM was still standing in the garage, and Emma waved as she pressed the button to shut it before realizing that it wouldn't shut any how then, turning the wheel to right. Luckily for her and all the other drivers on the road, it wasn't an icy winter, it was just windy, but the sky was clear, and the snow on the ground already didn't seem to stray. Had it been icy, she and anyone with half a brain, would know that even with the snow tires that she and David had spent three hours putting on the truck last week, this truck wouldn't hang. It was just that the brakes weren't the best, and the steering locked when it skid even a little.

Emma stopped at the stop sign at the edge of her street, pulling out her phone she called Lily, turning on the speaker and leaving it on her thigh so she could keep going.

"Yo," Lily answered.

Emma took a breath, "hey, I'm on my way to come get you, please don't be drunk."

Lily laughed, "I'm not."

"My mom needs you to watch James for a couple of hours while we go to the power company."

"You don't have power? And you want me to sit in your house, without power, with a baby?"

"We have power in the living room from a generator, fuck," Emma muttered.

"What?" Lily asked.

"I missed my turn. I'll see you in a second, okay, I can't multitask like this," she replied in a clipped tone, turning her phone off and tossing it to the side. Emma took a deep breath before pulling to the left and making a U turn, which was illegal where she was, but without a car in sight, she could pretend that it never happened. Three minutes later she was honking in Lily's driveway.

Emma pulled her knees up, shivering into them for the five minutes it took her friend to come outside, dressed in sweatpants, a hoodie and some kind of giant winter coat, and a beanie doing a bad job at covering her mess of a head of hair.

"Hey," she said breathlessly, getting into the cab.

"Hey." Emma answered, moving her legs back down to the pedals.

"You okay?" Lily asked.

Emma nodded, "yeah."

They drove in comfortable silence, something that had always come easily for them. Pulling up to Emma's house, Lily looked over at her friend, "you sure you're okay?"

"Yes!" Emma answered in a clipped tone, "yes. My mom's inside, she'll show you how to work the generator."

Lily lingered a moment before hopping out the seat with her bag in hand, walking quickly inside, Henry brushing past her as she did.

"I got a coat." He said, sliding into the middle seat next to her, she could feel his body heat, and it made her feel a little better.

Emma smiled, "good."

Henry grinned, "Mom said that she's going to make you take me to GameStop to get my game." He said, "I'll even let you play with me, it's so cool, and," he began to chatter on, Emma half listening as she waited for her mother to lock the door.

"Ready?" MM asked, slipping in next to Henry. "Sorry it took me so long, I had to be very clear with Lily, it was mildly concerning how many times she asked me if she needed to change his diaper."

Emma smiled, "You wouldn't want her to anyways." She replied, her mother chuckling as she backed out of the driveway. They were on their way.

Regina was on her way home at around 3:30 that afternoon, she had gone to the water company, which, no matter how Ruby had insisted, was indeed open, and settled that mess, and she had a couch on it's way to delivery the next day. She was tired, and dirty, which made her even happier as she thought of the promise of a nice hot shower, but something compelled her keep going down the road leading home. Regina, of course, knew where she was going, but she wasn't ready to come to terms with why. She was going to talk to Emma, because it was getting ridiculous, the girl needed to understand that she was not in control of the law, or other people. No matter how hard she tried to explain that when she first told Emma that the twins would be going back to livve with their real mother, she hadn't listened.

Of course, there was nothing different from then until now except a little time, so what exactly was she expecting to be different? She didn't know, but if she were being completely honest, she was just looking for another excuse to see Emma, even dirty and hungover, she wanted to start this year off with her in it. So, she drove to the house, not too far from where she had just, just across the freeway that separated two suburbs, and hoped for the best.

As she drove, she thought of all the things Emma had said to her, that she was 'heartless' and a 'traitor', and a whole slew of different blows that Regina had tried not to listen to. Emma didn't believe her when she said that it was hard for her, but she didn't have a choice, she didn't listen when she told her that she would do anything to keep them, but this was above her, as they were not up for adoption, that they were foster children. Emma yelled that she knew that she could have, and she was right, she could have, but when the parents came through, refusing to sign the documents for Regina to legally adopt the girls, they also decided to be reevaluated to receive full custody again.

It sickened her that theses people could so easily weave in and out of these children's life, causing them so much stress and serving instability that Regina had tried so hard to create for them. It sickened her that they could so easily just give them up again, and the next time, they may not find their way to her again. When their social worker called her up, and with sadness in her voice, told Regina that they would be going to New Jersey, and that she was sorry.

" _I don't understand this, I just submitted my adoption application,"_

" _Right, but officially, they were still foster children."_

" _This makes no sense," Regina said, head spinning, "you, you specifically told me that it would be no problem, a quick adoption."_

" _These things happen."_

" _They shouldn't."_

Now, they were gone, and she could only hope with all she had that those people would be true to their intentions, and not only stand by the girls, but give them as good or better of a life that Regina could have. Regina twitched her nose, feeling overcome with emotions that she thought she was done with, she stretched her arms over the wheel, letting out a breath. She saw the street sign that would lead her to Emma's neighborhood, and turned her blinker on, moving out onto the street. Not too long after, she was parked in front of the house, it looked as if Mary Margret were home, that same horrible station wagon parked in the driveway. She sighed, pulling her hood up as she braced herself against the wind and cold. Regina all but ran to the door, ringing the bell six times over, opening the screen to knock loudly..

"Hold on!" A voiced yelled, " _jesus."_ It muttered, probably thinking she couldn't hear. Regina tapped her foot, rolling her eyes, as she listened to someone struggle with locks. Soon after, Lily opened the door. "Oh."

"What're you doing here?" Lily asked, confused.

"I'm looking for Emma." Regina replied. Lily nodded, Regina shook her head, "are you going to let me in?"

"Emma's not here." Lily answered.

"Where is she?" Regina asked, just as she heard a cry from inside the house.

"No," Lily whined, "hold on," she said, running out from the door, "you can come in." She called.

Regina slipped into the house, warmer than the outside, but not too warm at all. She looked around, it was cute and homey, she smiled at the decorations, pictures of MM and David with Henry at DisneyWorld, looking like they were having more fun than him. She smiled, shutting the door and locking it behind her. She could hear Lily struggling, and a child crying, the girl trying to soothe it to no avail. Regina walked briskly into the hall where she remembered Lily going, she walked down the narrow hall, with doors on the right, and just a wall on the left before she came to a large room at the end, flooded with light.

"I'm not really great with babies." Lily said upon Regina's arrival. Regina nodded, moving closer, taking her coat off as this room was noticeably warmer than the rest of the house. "Emma's mom said she fed him and he doesn't stink, so I don't," she trailed off, handing him to Regina, who sat on her knees besides the girl.

She cradled the baby in her arms, "his name is, James, right?" Regina asked quietly. Lily nodded, "okay, James." She soothed, elevating his head as he coughed a bit. "I think he's just cold." Regina replied. "Yeah?" She asked James, her voice a whisper.

Lily walked on her knees over to a recliner and snatched a knit blanket off of it, handing it to Regina, who uttered a 'thank you' and wrapped it around the child, who's cries turned into slight babbles as she stared into Regina's eyes. Regina smiled into his eyes, swaying him as she did. It was almost like magic that she began to fall asleep.

Lily handed her a pacifier, "he likes this. Emma said purple was his favorite."

Regina took it, touching it against James' lips, who opened his mouth to take it. He happily sucked away, falling asleep with ease. Regina smiled up at Lily, motioning for her to bring over the little cradle that she was sure his mom had brought down. Regina placed him in the cradle, and he continued to sleep.

"Thank you." Lily said, watching him.

Regina nodded, "yeah." She smiled.

Lily moved to sit next to Regina, farther away from James, resting her chin on her knees. Regina glanced over at her, unsure of what to do next, she started to stand up, "no!" Lily said, grabbing her hand, "please. Will you stay?" She asked. "Please."

Regina looked around the house, frowning before nodding slowly, "okay." She replied, taking her place next to Lily, across from James, and waiting in comfortable silence for whatever were to happen next. Regina closed her eyes, resting her forehead on her knees.

"You know," Lily said, Regina inhaled and sat up.

"Yes, dear?"

"I used to think that there was something wrong with you, for," she sniveled, "for whatever you had with Emma." Regina looked away, her face flushing, and just nodded. "You're different than I thought."

Regina looked over at her, curious, "how?"

Lily shrugged, "you're like us." She made eye contact with Regina, for the first time, her eyes weren't glazed over with an aloof stare, they had heart.

"How so?"

Lily cracked her neck, "it's just a feeling."

Regina nodded, "okay." She replied, just as the house shook a bit and lights began to turn on around them.

After a trip that felt like it would never end surrounded by so much impatience it was almost contagious, Emma couldn't be happier to be on her way home. Her mother and brother were talking animatedly beside her, the radio on just loud enough for her to hear as she focused on the road. That was the thing she liked most about driving, was that she was forced to focus on her surroundings, that she didn't have to talk and it wouldn't be rude, it was just relaxing to her. Not to mention that she was pretty decent at it, as David had put it, for a first timer. Emma smiled inside as she looked over her shoulder, something that she had to be sure to do often as the truck had more blindspots than Helen Keller.

Just thirty minutes of bumper to bumper traffic later, they pulled onto their street, the lights in the driveway on. Emma smiled as Henry clapped about being powerful. Then her throat went dry, because parked on the side of her house was the black Mercedes that she would have to be blind not to recognize. Emma felt angry and excited all at once, because though she was still epically pissed at Regina, she had missed her something fierce. It was a very contradictory feeling.

"Who is that?" Henry asked?

Emma pulled into the open garage, quickly turning the engine off and all but bursting out of the car.

"Emma!" Mary Margret called, but the girl ignored her, running up the stairs and into her room. Henry gave his mother a shocked and guilty glance as if trying to cover for his sister. Mary Margret shook her head, getting out of the car, and not waiting for Henry as she rushed inside. Making her way into the living room, she saw Lily with another person, her son still asleep.

"Hey," Lily greeted, "Regina came by looking for Emma, and ended up staying with me because I suck at.. babies." Lily explained.

Mary Margret smiled and went to hug her, "oh, you should have told me you were stopping by,"

"I didn't know I was." Regina admitted pulling out of the embrace.

MM grinned, "I'll make us something to drink, cocoa?"

"Uh, coffee?" Regina asked. MM nodded, "thank you."

MM busied herself in the kitchen, smiling at James as he slept. "Emma is upstairs, Lily, if you'd like to get her." Lily shook her head, but only Regina saw.

Regina moved into the kitchen, leaning against the counter nearest Mary Margret, "I hope I didn't overstep by coming here, had I known that you weren't even home."

"Nonsense," Mary Margret mused, "really, I'm overjoyed, I was terrified leaving my baby with Lily." She said in a teasing tone, but Regina could tell she wasn't lying.

Lily scoffed, "he's alive!"

MM laughed, "would you still be so confident if Regina hadn't shown up?"

Lily hesitated, "he would have been probably alive."

MM laughed, then looked to Regina, "you didn't overstep, Regina, really." Regina smiled. "I'm not sure if Emma is going to speak to you, however."

Regina nodded, "I know."

"You can certainly try, though." She replied, placing two mugs on the counter. "Just go upstairs, it's the only door on the left side of the staircase." Regina lingered. "What's wrong?"

"Thinking." Regina replied quickly. "I don't want to go in there and say something that will only pass to anger her further."

"Regina, I can honestly tell you, that you are her favorite person to exist," she shook her head, "most of the time. Just be honest, make her listen, you'll be fine." Regina squeezed MM's shoulder as she brushed past her. "Coffee," MM said, handing her the mug. "Before you ask, no soy milk."

Regina scowled, "black it is, then. Thank you, dear."

Moving into the connecting den, she walked up the stairs, slowly as if it would make any difference as she felt like she was walking towards her impending doom, she stopped before the door she was told to be Emma's. Regina knocked quietly before trying the knob, finding it unlocked she pushed the door open, and was hit by a rush of cold air.

The room was dark aside from little twinkling lights on the ceiling, she looked around, but couldn't see anyone, so she turned and closed the door behind her. There was a dresser to her right, beneath a television that's screen was black, she placed her mug down lightly on the wood, someone the drink spilling onto her hand. She hissed, shaking her hand off, wiping it on her leg. Regina inhaled a scent of cherries, standing in the center of the room, she felt as if she were intruding on the space, Emma's space. Regina moved to the window, a soft orange glow spilling in through the pane, there was no screen, and she peaked her head out, nearly screaming when she saw Emma sitting just to the left of the window.

"Hey," Emma said quietly, knees pulled up, her hands holding each other beneath them.

Regina let out a shaky breath, "hi." She replied, moving so she could sit on the ledge opposite the girl. "Cold?" She asked.

Emma, clad only in her orange hoodie, leggings, and a beanie, shook her head. "You?"

"No." Regina replied quietly. "Emma," Regina said, Emma looked over at her, "I'm sorry."

Emma nodded, "I know."

"I don't like the way things work, and I don't always understand them," Regina rambled.

"It's fine," Emma interrupted, "you don't have to give me a speech, I," she sighed, "it's fine." The girl just looked down at her sock encased feet, wiggling her toes, before scooting over, patting the spot next to her.

Regina skeptically moved to sit next to her. Emma let out a breath, relaxing at the woman neared her. Neither said a word, just staring out into the yard they shared with a neighboring house, one that hadn't been lived in in six years, they had left behind an old broke down Volkswagen beetle, covered now mostly in snow and weeds. Emma closed her eyes before looking over at Regina, who stared down into the snow.

Emma didn't overthink her next move and she brought her hand up to Regina's cheek and pulled the brunette into her. They seemed to melt together, the awkward position they were in not stopping the passion from flowing between them. Regina slipped her hand behind Emma's back, it slipping under her jacket, the cold member falling against the warmth of her back, sending a painful shiver up it, Emma inhaled shakily, smiling into the kiss as she moved closer to Regina, pulling her in. With on her her legs over Regina's and the other under, she tried the best she could to straddle the woman, who lightly raked her nails over the expanse of her back. Emma moaned lightly into the kiss, before she began to laugh.

Emma laughed, her nose resting on Regina, as tears began to flow down her face, her eyes still closed. Regina smiled, letting out a soft chuckle. Emma pulled back, kissing her nose, her forehead, her cheeks, then her neck before laughing again. Emma inhaled the smell of Regina's perfume, she could tell that was her only shower that morning.

The wind began to pick up as dark clouds that had been resting in the East rolled in. Small flakes of snow began to fall into Regina's hair, Emma blowing them away.

"I think there's a storm coming." Emma said,

Regina nodded, "looks to be."

Downstairs, Mary Margret was bouncing James as he giggled to the swing of her hips, and Lily was fighting with Henry over Lord-knows-what.

"I'm serious, little dude, you have not lived until you've played Red Dead Redemption."

"You've can't even talk about living when you have never played Skyrim."

"Okay, no." Lily squinted at him, "I have seen Skyrim, and I make a _choice_ not to play it." Henry opened his mouth to speak, "the gameplay graphics, suck. The storyline is confusing, at best, and the controls are idiotic and unrealistic."

"How do you know this when you've never played it?"

"Call it intuition."

"You're stupid," Henry said.

"Henry Daniel!" His mother called from the kitchen. "Say sorry."

Henry rolled his eyes, "sorry," he said loudly, "that you're stupid," he said so only Lily could hear. Lily gaped and stood up, making her way into the kitchen, grabbing a poptart and sitting down on the couch next to him. "Let's talk Left 4 Dead."

"Hate it." He said.

With a pastry hanging out of her mouth Lily slapped her thighs, "I'm done."

Regina pulled Emma back into her room, nearly tripping over a shoe in the floor, Emma pulled her to the bed, "sorry." She said. Regina didn't answer as she crawled atop Emma and kissed her as if she only had one chance. Emma, reached under Regina's shirt, pulling her down into her, wrapping her leg's around Regina's thighs. The brunette pushed her knee into Emma's core, the blonde's soft moan, never escaping her throat. The girl pushed her body downwards, hungrily trying to create friction as Regina pulled away from her, taking off her coat.

Emma pouted up at her, when Regina smiled and moved back towards her, the girl flipped their positions. Regina let out a panicked breath, and Emma's smile fell as she pulled back, sitting on her hips. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Regina closed her eyes, telling herself that she was fine, and that Emma was not here to hurt her. "I just need a moment." Emma attempted to step off the bed, but Regina gripped her hips, holding her in place, Emma squirmed and giggled, slapping her hands away.

"That tickles, stop." She said, trying to sound serious. Regina let out a throaty chuckle, then reached up to tickle Emma's ribcage, the girl violently jumped off of her, and off the bed, still laughing. "Seriously, don't mess with me. " Regina laughed, sitting up on her elbow, and just as she opened her mouth to reply,

"Emma," MM's voice came from downstairs, "are you okay?"

Emma groaned, "fine!" She yelled, louder than she needed to.

"Come downstairs." MM called.

Regina sat up, her legs dangling over the edge of the bed, Emma walked towards her and sighed. Regina pulled her into her and kissed her one last time, "let's go."

Emma nodded, checking herself in the mirror as she pulled off her beanie, "I'll meet you down there." She said, pulling her hair up into a messy ponytail.

Regina stood back a moment before Emma caught her staring and blushed, "stop," she whined.

Closing the door, Regina made her way downstairs, trying to catch up with the occurrences of the past few minutes. She had gone upstairs expecting nothing short of a screaming match, but came down feeling as though their relationship were better than ever. While she should be feeling glad, all she could feel was confused. Confused as to why, if Emma had been so angry at her, had she been so quick to forgive. Regina mulled the thought over, and while she would like to believe that Emma had just come to accept the truth, she also had to take into consideration that the girl has had a tendency to be wildly unstable in her thoughts and emotions, especially when aimed towards Regina. Regina shook her head, no, she was going to leave it alone for the night, and appreciate how she and Emma were able to finally able to have a moment to themselves. Tonight, there were no drugs, no priorities, it was just them.

Mary Margret smiled as Regina strode into the kitchen, "how'd it go?" She asked, grinning eagerly. Regina did her best not to blush, but she realized she already was.

She sighed, "we had a conversation, and I think that we're on good terms."

MM smiled, turning her attention to James, "that's good."

"Yeah," Regina let out, "I suppose I should get going soon," she admitted as Emma rounded the corner, leaning against the door next to Regina. "Hi."

"Hi," she said, turning her attention to her mother, "are you making dinner?"

MM smiled at her, "I don't know, I might."

Emma moved behind Regina, her hand on her lower back, "excuse me," she said. "We can make fried rice, or something easy."

Her mother nodded, "are you going to cook?"

Emma laughed, "no. Only if Regina helps me." She threw a pleading look over at the brunette.

"I'm a terrible cook."

"You lie!" Emma laughed.

Regina smiled. "I meant it when I said I should get going, I haven't showered in two days, and if you and I were right about the storm, Emma," Regina rambled, just as the lights flickered off, then back on again.

Emma flashed her a grin, "might be too late."

MM handed James to Emma, who took him, confused, "I need to call your father, he's probably stuck down at the station."

"Guess you're staying for dinner after all."

Regina smiled, moving to stroke James' cheek. "I do hope you still have my clothes I leant you, because I was not lying about being unclean."

Emma chuckled, "I know, and I do." Lily shuffled into the kitchen, resting her chin on Emma's shoulder. "Hey." Emma greeted, leaning her head into her friend's.

"Your little brother is a freaking twat."

Emma laughed. "That's so mean."

"I'm serious, tell me you disagree." Emma shrugged. "Exactly." She looked at Regina, "that kid needs boundaries."

"Stop talking about me!" Henry yelled from the living room.

"You're a bully!" Lily replied. "I feel threatened and offended." She hid behind Emma as Henry shuffled towards them with his fists up. Emma rest her hand on his forehead and pushed him away, Henry swinging at her arms.

"Stop!" She replied as the lights flickered off again, the wind howling as Henry squeaked and ran into Emma's arms. When the lights came back on, Emma looked down to see him with his eyes squeezed shut under her armpit. She laughed as he ran off into the den. Emma turned towards Regina smiling, "okay, I'll get you a towel, you can shower in my room."

Regina and Lily followed her up the stairs, the latter falling into Emma's bed, "oh my lord, close the window, are you a sociopath?" She asked, Emma glared at her and slammed the window shut. "Thanks, friend." She replied.

Emma moved into her bathroom, struggling to light the two little candles on the lid of the toilet, "in case the power goes out again." She said, putting them down on the counter before pulling a towel out of the closet to her left. "One? Two?" She asked.

"One." Regina replied, taking the white fluffy towel from her before closing the door a bit so Lily couldn't see and pulling Emma into a kiss.

"I can hear you!" Lily called, Regina pulled away from Emma, smiling before giving her another peck on the nose. "Gross." Lily groaned.

Emma laughed, "she's just jealous," she winked.

Regina grinned, "clearly."

"I'll leave you to it." Emma replied, closing the door before Regina could ask her to join, not that she thought the girl would say yes, with her mother being home, and the possibility times three or being caught. Regina smiled as she stripped herself of dirty clothes, eagerly stepping under the hot spray, with only the flickering lights of the pine scented candles illuminating the small bathroom. She read the labels on all Emma's shampoo products, she especially liked the cherry scented body wash. It reminded her of school, and the hand soaps they would have in the bathrooms, or cherry Kool-aid. Outside, Emma and Lily were smack talking Henry, unaware that Regina could hear almost everything they were saying. Not that they were speaking of her anyway.

Now that she had dressed, brushed her teeth, and now sat on Emma's chair with one of her hoodies on, she was feeling more like herself. It was odd for her to be sitting in the dark, with only the lights of candles that Emma had taken from the bathroom and the hallways to illuminate the room.

"We have to learn to have fun without the power," Lily said, suggesting that they do something without the use of lights of technology.

"We could play light as a feather, stiff as a board." Henry suggested. Everyone muttered a negative, "you guys suck."

Regina sat back, smiling as she felt all the love in that room. It had been so long since she'd experienced just fun, and warmth like this. She wasn't unhappy or surprised to have found it in the home of Emma Swan, with her family and her friend.

"That game is bull anyways, how do you even think it's possible to life someone with two fingers, anyways?" Lily stated, in the true downer spirit.

Henry glared at her, "it's probably just because you're fat." He countered.

Emma spit out her drink, sputtering as she laughed, "Henry!" She exclaimed. Regina smirked, she quite liked Henry, he was endearing and sarcastic, just how she liked the people she was to associate with. Lily was laughing as well, handing Emma the towel she was sitting on, having opted to take a shower after Regina. Emma grabbed it, still laughing and cleaned up her mess.

"We could play killer in the house." Regina suggested.

"She speaks!" Lily raised her hands in hallelujah. Regina raised a brow.

"What is that?" Henry asked.

Regina licked her lips, "in a nutshell, it's like hide and go seek with the lights off."

Lily clapped, "I'm down." Emma agreed.

"Who's it?" Henry asked. They all looked at each other, Lily put her finger on her nose, followed by Henry, then Regina, then Emma.

"No!" Emma exclaimed. "Wait, I want to see if Mom wants to play."

"You just don't want to be it," Henry accused.

"No," Emma struggled to stand up, taking her empty cup with her, "I seriously want her to play." She replied. Lily booed her.

With all the lights off, the house became and endless palace of too many and not enough places to hide. The rules were simple; no lights, no sounds. Mary Margret put James to sleep up in his crib, which was off limits, as well as her room. Other than that it was free reign. MM counted to 100 in her room, Lily and Henry running off to hide in different places, both upstairs. Emma took Regina's hand and led her down the steps, saying she had the perfect place. Regina felt butterflies in her stomach as she trusted Emma to lead her somewhere safe. Emma opened the door to the mudroom so silently, that if the air hadn't gotten drastically cooler, then Regina wouldn't have been the wiser. Then, they were in the garage. Emma opened her car door with care and ushered Regina inside, then after moving in beside her, closed it with care.

Hardly any time had passed before Emma was in her lap, her lips landing just the left of her own. Regina moaned into the girl, her hands easily slipping around her, her fingertips just slipping past the hem of her pants. Emma moved to push Regina's hands down, but the woman only moved them back up. With Emma back in check, Regina allowed for her tongue to meet with the girl's, who tilted her head ever so slightly in the kiss. Emma's hand met Regina's abdomen and trailed up and down the expanse of the skin, she smiled as her hand smoothed over the naked skin of her breasts, peaking over her hardened nipple. Regina moaned, her heart racing.

Emma pulled back, taking a breath, her hand falling out of Regina's top slowly, the woman exhaled. The blonde reached up and rested her hand on Regina's neck, "what happened?" She asked. Regina pursed her lips, "did I do something wrong?"

Regina inhaled, shaking her head, "no, dear, I'm just," she sighed, letting out a breathless laugh, "I'm not ready, to," she shook her head again, "I can't do this yet."

"I don't understand, we've had sex before."

"Well, I had sex with you." Regina admitted, then she sighed, grazing her finger under Emma's chin, who moved away from the touch, "Emma."

"What?"

"I need you to understand, please."

"I get it, Regina, you don't want me to have sex with you."

"No, I do, Emma, I do," Regina moved Emma's head so she would face her, "I just need time."

Emma nodded, "maybe my gross truck wasn't the best place to suggest out first _actual_ time."

Regina chuckled, "it's not ideal." She replied, Emma slid off of her, sitting in the driver's side, leaning her head on Regina's shoulder.

"I just, need to say," Emma jerked up, "that I don't want to push you." Regina nodded, "I'm really sorry, I'm just not used to people not wanting to you know, have sex with me."

Regina felt her stomach lurch, then she whispered, "it's not,"

"No, I know, Regina, I do, I was just saying."

"Thank you," Regina answered, her eyes wandering about the dark garage for the first time.

Emma held her forearm, her fingers dancing over her sweater, "I don't mind waiting, because I care," she paused, "very much for you."

Regina grinned, pressing her lips into Emma's hair, "I know."


End file.
